Forever, For Love

by Becky Lee Weyrich

  Pandora waved her objections away and continued staring out over the broad expanse of water before them. “I’m not leaving this spot.” she declared. “I want to see the island the moment it comes into view. I feel as if I’ve been away for years; it will be wonderful to get home.”

  “Well, at least use your parasol!” Cassie opened the elegant sunshade of gray lace trimmed with rose-colored fringe and forced it upon her mistress. “There, that’s better!” Seeing that Pandora was deep in thought, Cassie went back below deck.

  Pandora’s mind was indeed busy, deciding her first move when she reached Galveston. It would be late afternoon by then. She thought about going first to Jacob’s office where she would surprise him with her early return and the news that she wanted to get married immediately.

  “No,” she murmured. “That won’t do.” All his patients would be witnesses to their reunion. She had a better idea, one that would ensure the intimacy of her welcome home. He had written her that he’d rented a small but comfortable apartment where he was living now and which the two of them would share after their marriage. “But only until I’ve saved enough for our new house,” he had assured her. She smiled, thinking how Jacob, with his stern German upbringing, insisted they live on his earnings, not her vast fortune once they were married. Yes, she would go to the apartment and wait for him. Their reunion would be private and, oh, so sweet!

  She closed her eyes for a moment, imagining how she would feel when she first saw him, when he first touched her, kissed her, held her in his arms. Putting aside all the disturbing uncertainties of Paris, she told herself she was about to fulfill her destiny. She was more than ready to continue loving Jacob where Nicolette’s love for Laffite had left off.

  In her mind’s eye, Jacob’s image became confused with that of Jean Laffite. Both were tall and lean, but there the resemblance ceased. Jacob’s hair was lighter, his eyes warm-brown instead of green, his features smooth instead of rugged. Yet Pandora imagined that she could see some of Laffite in Jacob Saenger. She wanted to so desperately.

  A moment later, the boat’s whistle blew, interrupting her thoughts. She opened her eyes and there it was—Galveston Island. The sandy spit seemed to float just above the water, all shimmering white with touches of green here and there. The tin roofs blazed in the afternoon sun as they drew nearer. She imagined that she could smell the sweet perfume of the oleanders although she knew they never bloomed until the hot weather came. Her heart quickened and her cheeks grew warm. Tears suddenly flooded her eyes.

  As they steamed past the east end of the island, with Bolivar Point to starboard, Cassie rejoined Pandora on deck.

  “Won’t be no one to meet us, Miss Pan. How we gonna get home?”

  Pandora never took her eyes off the busy docks as she answered, “You go straight to the Emporium, Cassie. Uncle Horace will have one of the boys pick up my trunks and drive you home. I have an errand to take care of. I’ll hire a buggy.”

  “But, Miss Pandora, what am I supposed to tell Miz Tabitha when I come in without you? She’s going to be powerful upset.”

  “Tell my aunt that I had some important business. Tell her she can expect me for dinner. There won’t be a problem, Cassie.”

  Knowing that there was no use arguing with her mistress, Cassie sighed resignedly. Soon the two women were in the crush of passengers crowding down the gangway. Pandora hailed a cabbie. He eased his one-horse buggy through the throng of disembarking passengers, porters, and waiting vehicles.

  “Where to, ma’am?” the young driver asked as he helped Pandora mount the step.

  She gave him Jacob’s address on Mechanic Street, between Sealy Hospital and St. Mary’s Infirmary. The driver clicked his tongue at the old black horse, who broke into a smart trot once they cleared the dockside traffic.

  As they moved down Water Street, Pandora’s gaze locked on the tumbled ruins of Maison Rouge. She saw more than the broken stone steps and the weeds overgrowing the foundation; she saw a great, scarlet-painted mansion with a tall, green-eyed man and a ebony-haired woman standing arm in arm on the broad veranda. She blinked and the vision vanished, but the warm glow of their obvious love for each other remained in her heart.

  Soon, she heard the driver call, “Whoa there, Lightnin’!” as he pulled back on the reins.

  Quickly, Pandora paid the man and walked up the narrow stairs of the wooden house built on stilts to guard against Galveston’s seasonal “overflows.” When she knocked at the door, a stocky, gray-haired woman answered.

  “Yes, miss, can I help you?” She gazed curiously at Pandora through the thick lenses of her spectacles.

  Pandora didn’t quite know what to say. She wanted to wait in Jacob’s apartment, but she wasn’t at all sure his landlady would allow that. She looked the prim and proper sort.

  “I have an appointment with Dr. Saenger. Of a delicate nature,” she confided in a whisper. “He asked that I meet him here at his apartment after regular office hours.”

  Exactly what the woman thought of her tale, Pandora didn’t know. Her gray eyebrows lifted for a moment, then her harsh expression gentled to a conspiratoral smile. She put her hand out to touch Pandora’s arm, drawing her quickly into the hallway.

  “I understand, dear. Dr. Saenger usually gets home about this time. Come with me. I’ll let you in.”

  Pandora felt slightly uneasy until the woman left her. Obviously, Mrs. Gray—fitting name, she mused—believed that she was unmarried and with child and that Dr. Saenger had agreed to help her. Oh, well. Pandora dismissed her worries. The landlady would know the truth of the matter soon enough. At least she was here, and in a short time Jacob would arrive home to a great and happy surprise.

  Pandora moved about the tiny apartment shaking her head. “Poor dear,” she murmured. He was no housekeeper at all. His clothes were tossed this way and that. His bed was unmade—a messy tangle of sheets and spread. Dirty dishes were stacked to towering heights on the kitchen table. While she waited, she began tidying up, feeling comfortably domestic already.

  When she heard his footsteps in the hallway and his key in the lock, Pandora stood back in the shadows. She hoped that Mrs. Gray had not told him someone was waiting. She wanted to surprise him.

  Pandora watched in silence as Jacob entered, closed the door, and switched on a small lamp on the table. Her heart went out to him. He looked tired and drawn. His hair and suit were rumpled. Taking his coat off and slinging it casually in the general direction of the sofa, he went immediately to the spirits’ chest and poured himself a straight whiskey. Pandora frowned. Jacob was drinking heavily again—his one and only fault in her eyes. He had promised her time and again that he would stop. He had given up everything but wine shortly before her departure. She watched as he belted down one straight shot, then reached for the bottle a second time.

  Pandora stepped into the light. “Jacob,” she whispered.

  He nearly jumped out of his skin. “What the hell?” He swung toward her, crouched as if to defend himself against an intruder. When he saw her standing there, he straightened up. He looked confused and unbelieving. “Pandora?”

  She came toward him, her arms outstretched. “Yes, Jacob! I’m home.”

  “Pandora, didn’t you get my letter? The one I wrote you Christmas night?”

  “Why, no, Jacob, I left Paris before Christmas. I must have passed your letter in the crossing. What does it matter? We don’t have to write letters any longer. I’m home. I came straight here from the boat. And I’m with you to stay. I want to get married immediately.”

  Jacob Saenger was fighting a thousand devils. Pandora did not know! How could she? She hadn’t received his letter and she’d spoken to no one in her family yet, he was sure. He’d have to tell her everything, face to face, this minute.

  “Oh, God, how I’ve missed you, Pandora!” His words came out in a harsh, breathy sigh. “Come here!”

  He led her toward the sofa and pressed he
r down gently against the cushions. For a long time, he leaned over her, staring down into her wide, green eyes. His own, she noted, looked troubled. He seemed on the verge of saying something to her, but no words came. She thought for a moment he meant to argue with her over the wedding date. When he leaned down and captured her lips, she knew that that was the farthest thing from his mind.

  “Pandora, oh, Pandora,” he breathed against her hair. “I want you right now more than I’ve ever wanted you before in my life.”

  He was sitting next to her, leaning over her. Suddenly, he clasped her in his arms, gripping her so tightly that pain shot through her back and shoulders.

  “Jacob, please! You’re hurting me,” she cried.

  He swore under his breath. “I know I am, my dear. I know… I know!”

  Pandora stayed with Jacob only a little longer. He kissed her again, but with a restraining hold on his passion. She began to feel a creeping dread. Something had happened to Jacob while she was away. He was still the same man she cared for so deeply, but some great burden was weighing heavily on him now. If only he would talk to her about it, but he remained as silent as a statue.

  “Pandora,” he told her firmly, “I think you’d better leave now. It’s getting dark. Your family will be worried.”

  Rebuked in such a fashion, she had no option but to go. For whatever reason, her fiancé did not want her just now. Obviously, he had had a bad day. His disheveled look when he arrived, the drink he so quickly tossed down, the strange expression on his face when he first spied her. Perhaps her surprise visit had not been a good idea after all. Yes, she would go. But tomorrow, she vowed, they would set the date.

  Jacob collapsed, face down on the sofa, the moment Pandora left. He couldn’t tell which ached most—his heart, his conscience, or his groin. Sitting up, he slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. What a bastard he was! Why had he held her and kissed her when he knew he had no right any longer? Why hadn’t he confessed the whole bloody truth to her the minute she told him she hadn’t received the letter? He’d meant to, but…

  Now he had sentenced her to a more heartbreaking shock than he had experienced the moment he spied her in his room. Who would tell her? Her uncle? Her aunt? Some stranger on the street as she hurried home? Or—oh, God, please no—not Angelica!

  Jacob rose slowly from the sofa. He felt like a corpse. No, dead men had no feelings. For a moment he wished he could claim that blessed, final oblivion. Instead, he went to the bottle he’d left sitting on the table. Not bothering with a glass, he grasped its neck in a stranglehold and tipped it up to his lips.

  By the time the bottle was empty, an alcoholic haze dulled the pain, but the ache in his groin intensified. He could have had her; she’d wanted him. And he’d certainly wanted her. He blew out a long breath and tried to focus on his slightly blurred image in the mirror.

  “Well, it seems even the worst bastard in the world has a grain of nobility lurking deep inside.”

  Shedding his clothes as he went, Jacob stumbled into the bedroom, falling upon his neatly made bed. He took no note of Pandora’s handiwork, but the lingering scent of her perfume was there where she had smoothed the spread. He breathed in deeply, seeing her smiling face before his closed eyes.

  “Pandora,” he whispered with pain in his voice and guilt in his heart. “My darling Pandora!”

  Then the blessed oblivion he had sought from his bottle closed over him.

  Pandora decided to walk the few blocks home. She needed to think, to clear her head. And she needed to make plans. Aunt Tabitha, she knew, would want a big wedding. But Pandora could not wait that long. She needed the comfort and reassurance of becoming Jacob’s wife as soon as possible. She would simply insist that they have a small, private ceremony. If her aunt and uncle put up a fuss, she would threaten to be married in a civil service at City Hall. Yes, that would do the trick! That would silence all objections.

  The sky lost its scarlet and golden sunset tints. Purple shadows deepened as she walked down 8th Street toward Broadway. A pair of hardy cyclists passed her. As evening settled, most of Galveston’s citizens had gone inside to sit by their fires and await the call to dinner. When a buggy pulled up beside her, she barely noticed until she heard someone call her name.

  “Pandora, is that you?” the man’s voice repeated.

  She stopped, gazing through the darkness, trying to make out who it was. A moment later, the tall figure came striding toward her. She was as surprised as he was.

  “Ward Gabriel?” She offered her hand and he gripped it warmly. “I thought you were off in California or South America.”

  The husky rasp of his laughter sounded good to her—intimate and caressing. “A bit of luck came my way unexpectedly and I had to rush back to Galveston to confer with my attorneys. And you, young lady, are supposed to be in Paris having a high old time of it. Did you see the can-can girls?”

  She shook her head. “No, I hadn’t time for that, I decided to come home ahead of schedule.”

  “I wondered if you would.” Suddenly, his voice lost its jovial tone. He sounded like someone consoling the bereaved.

  “Why would you think I’d return early?” she wanted to know.

  “Oh, no reason.” He answered too quickly, arousing her suspicions. “Why are you home so soon?”

  Ward thought back to the night of the dinner dance before Thanksgiving. Had Pandora had some advance warning of trouble ahead? Had one of the society ladies written to her then, hinting that all was not well? Somehow that didn’t seem likely from her bright spirits. Either she knew nothing of her former fiancé’s upcoming nuptials or she was playing it cool, trying to avoid the subject in order to hide the pain of rejection. She was probably still in shock.

  “To be honest, Ward, I came home because Dr. Pinel, the specialist Jacob arranged for me to see, was no help at all. Instead of solving my problems, he only confused me more. I’m not even sure of who I am any longer. I didn’t just come home, I escaped Paris, running back here in desperation. Jacob is the only one who can help me now. I need him. I mean to marry him right away.” She paused, embarrassed by her own confession. Then she smiled up at Ward and touched his arm in a friendly gesture. “I’m glad you’ll be here for the ceremony, Ward. Truly glad.”

  He was glad that the street was dark so she couldn’t see his shock. She didn’t know! How could that be when all of Galveston was buzzing with the news?

  “When did you arrive?” Ward asked.

  “Late this afternoon. I went directly from the boat to see Jacob. I’ve just left him.”

  “Your arrival must have come as quite a surprise to him.”

  “Oh, indeed!” Now it was Pandora’s turn to bless the darkness. She could feel the frown on her face as she thought back to Jacob’s odd reaction. “Ward, has something happened while I was away… something Jacob didn’t want me to know? He seemed troubled.”

  Ward waited so long to frame an answer that Pandora thought he must not have heard her. “Ward?” she prompted.

  “Let me give you a lift home. We can talk on the way.”

  Once Pandora was seated beside Ward, he seemed disinclined to speak. She prodded him with further questions, but he refused to respond.

  Ward was undecided. Certainly, it was not his place to break such shattering news to her. He couldn’t imagine Jacob holding his silence on the subject. But then he couldn’t imagine what Saenger could be thinking, breaking off his engagement to Pandora and planning this other unexpected and hasty marriage. Why, he’d move heaven and earth not to disappoint Pandora Sherwood.

  “Ward, please,” Pandora implored. “I’m beginning to feel like I’m being left out of some deep, dark conspiracy. There’s something you’re all keeping from me. What is it?”

  Ward slowed the horse and turned toward Pandora. Her face looked pale and drawn in the darkness. She seemed only a ghost of herself.

  “Pandora, did you receive the l
etter I wrote you from New York?”

  She nodded, embarrassed suddenly that she’d failed to answer it. There would have been no harm in a brief, formal note of acknowledgment. “Yes, Ward, I received it. I’m sorry I never…”

  He waved his hand in an impatient gesture, brushing aside her apology. “Do you remember what I told you in that note—that if anything ever happened, you could count on me?”

  “Yes, I remember, Ward. That was very sweet of you, but I don’t understand what that has to do with anything…”

  “It has everything to do with the situation right now. I meant what I wrote to you, Pandora. I still mean it. I didn’t realize until that night in New York—the night you were so ill—how I truly felt about you. You’re no longer a dirty-faced little girl climbing trees in the grove. No, Pandora.” He paused and brushed her cheek with his fingertips. “You are a very lovely, very special woman.”

  “Ward, please, you’re out of line.”

  “No,” he whispered, “I don’t think I am, Pandora. You asked what everyone is keeping from you. I’m about to tell you, but I had to say all that first.”

  “Well?” she demanded, her heart in her throat.

  “Jacob is going to be married the day after tomorrow.” He stated the fact bluntly because there was no gentle way to tell her.

  Pandora heard Ward’s words clearly, but she managed to fit them into her own mold, reshaping them to suit herself. Somewhere in the night, a bird called out a few musical notes. Pandora matched it with her own trill of laughter. “Well, I can’t say for sure that it will be the day after tomorrow, Ward. But I’m certainly willing, if we can arrange it that soon.”

  Ward reined the buggy to a full stop and turned to stare into Pandora’s face. “You are not listening to me, or rather, you refuse to hear what I’m saying. Jacob Saenger is marrying someone else, Pandora.”

  Dead silence descended between them. Only the sleepy bird in the distance could be heard. Then suddenly, Pandora’s self-imposed barrier to understanding shattered and she cried, “No! He can’t! Why would you tell me such lies, Ward Gabriel?” She slid away from him, ready to escape the buggy, to run back to Jacob, but Ward caught her arm.