“Good.” Jordan wasn’t sure what else he wanted to say about his dinner with Zach. “Is Derek here?”
“He’s in his room,” Mariana said. “Packing.”
“Packing?”
“He found a flight he can take home at midnight so he arranged for an airport shuttle to pick him up,” Sierra explained. “We volunteered to drive him to the airport, but he insisted on taking the shuttle.”
“I’ll see how he’s doing,” Jordan said.
“Come back and join us,” Mariana offered. “We have marshmallows.”
“Okay,” he said over his shoulder as he headed for the bedroom.
Jordan found Derek zipping up his small carry-on bag. “Hey, is everything all right? Is Mindy okay?”
“She’s doing great. I decided I did what I came to do, and now I’m ready to go home. I left a message on your phone.”
“I didn’t check my messages. I had the ringer turned down. Are you sure you have to go?”
“I don’t have to go, but I want to. I want to get back to Mindy.”
Jordan sat on the bed’s edge. “This sure wasn’t what we expected it to be, was it?”
“Maybe not, but you won’t hear me complain. I had the time of my life. It was a bonus hanging out all day at The Eddie. That was some meet today, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. Amazing waves.” Jordan knew that he still didn’t have the same level of passion Derek did for the world of surfing or the surf community. He was impressed at how the competition had gone that day at Waimea, but not being a surfer, Jordan had never picked up the same enthusiasm and loyalty that Derek had for the sport.
“Don’t look so down, Jordo. It was what it was. Everything got shaken up over the last week, and now what’s left is what we go with. You don’t have any complaints, do you?”
“No. But I’m bummed for you that things didn’t go the way we had hoped they would. This was supposed to be your big break.”
“And it wasn’t. So what? I go on from here. It’s okay. Really. Like I told you, this whole experience has made me shift my value system. I have a wife and baby to take care of. Those are the gold nuggets left in my life after this shake-up.” Derek hiked his bag on his shoulder. “Walk with me to the highway. I have to meet the shuttle at the pickup point in a few minutes.”
Jordan followed Derek back to the patio where he said his goodbyes to Mariana and Sierra. “If you decide to come to Santa Barbara, know that you will always be welcome to hang out at our place.”
“Thanks,” Sierra said with a smile. “I might have to take you up on that offer.”
Jordan wondered for a moment if she meant that or if she was only saying what seemed natural in response to Derek’s offer. When would Sierra ever be in Santa Barbara?
“I’m walking Derek to the shuttle pickup.”
“We’ll try not to eat all the marshmallows before you return,” Mariana said.
Derek picked up his covered surfboard from where he had left it in the garage and carried it under his arm down the dark driveway as Jordan followed carrying his luggage.
“I still wish you weren’t going yet. It’s been too short,” Jordan said.
“I know.” Derek drew in a deep breath, as if trying to muster up some courage. “So tell me how your dinner went. Did Zach offer you the world on a silver platter?”
Jordan considered how to answer. He was hesitant to tell his friend how great the offer was. In an effort not to overdo the details, he skipped the description of the multimillion-dollar mansion where Zach and the rest of his staff were staying. He didn’t describe the chef-prepared meal that was served to them on the oceanfront deck at sunset.
Instead he started with the downside. “I’d have to move.”
“Where?”
“Here.” Suddenly that didn’t seem like the right downside to start with. “It’s an exclusive offer, so they pretty much would own me and tell me where to go when. I’m at their beck and call.”
“And from the headquarters here they’ll be sending you all over the world, right?”
“Mostly through the South Pacific with a lot of tournaments in Australia.”
Jordan carefully watched Derek’s expression in the glow of the streetlight overhead where they had stopped at the appointed pickup spot. Derek swallowed, looked across the street, and then looked at Jordan.
“You’re gonna be livin’ the dream, man. I’m really stoked for you.”
“I didn’t sign anything yet.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. The contract is something like thirty pages long. I told Zach I needed a chance to have my lawyer look at it, and I needed to think and pray about it.”
Derek looked surprised. “You have a lawyer?”
“No. But apparently I need to get one. I didn’t want to sign my life away without someone explaining the fine print to me.”
“Sounds wise. You’re going to take the offer though, aren’t you?”
Jordan didn’t answer. He didn’t know. Something about it didn’t feel right.
“You’re not hesitating because of me, are you?”
“No. Well, possibly. It’s such a shift in my thinking. You brought me into this whole surf scene. I’ve learned what I needed as I went along. I guess it doesn’t feel natural going solo from here on out. It made sense and seemed clear when you and I started this project together. Now I’m not so sure this is my goal, if you know what I mean.”
Jordan remembered what Sierra had said a few days ago about how people were more important than projects. Jordan’s challenge to her had been, “What if the people are the project?” That was how he felt about the years he had spent with Derek. The project hadn’t been to get noticed as a photographer in the surfing world. The project had been Derek. The goal had been to get him noticed in the surfing world.
Now everything was upside down.
Derek seemed to be taking all this in as if it were the last thing he expected of Jordan. “What did Zach say when you didn’t agree to sign over dinner?”
“He joked about how a dozen photographers were lined up behind me with a pen in their hand, ready to sign.”
“I don’t think he’s joking.”
A car passed them with all the windows down as loud music with a monotonous beat broke the pace of their conversation.
“Zach said something else.”
“What?” Derek asked.
“He said, ‘What’s not to like about this offer? I’m promising you travel, money, and recognition in a highly competitive field. Are you afraid of success?’”
“Are you?” Derek asked.
“I don’t know.” Jordan knew he was tired from getting so little sleep the night before. The dinner with Zach had thrown him off balance. But it seemed something more was weighing on him. He just didn’t know what it was. “I think I need to pray about this.”
“Sounds wise. You pray, and I’ll pray. I’d say don’t overthink it, though, Jordo. Either it’s the life for you, or it isn’t. Simple as that. If you want it, then you can take it. It won’t matter what an attorney tells you about the terms and conditions. You negotiate what you can, but basically you sign your freedom away in exchange for a huge, life-altering opportunity.”
Jordan looked up at the night sky. Clouds gathered, creating a low ceiling and hiding the stars.
“Do you want it?” Derek asked.
“I don’t know.”
“This isn’t like you to be so indecisive.”
“I know.”
“I never would have guessed it. Here I thought you had it so bad for your career that you would have signed the minute Zach put the contract on the table.”
They stood together silently for a moment, and then Derek said, “It’s Sierra, isn’t it? She’s the wild card that has you all locked up so that you don’t know what you want.”
“No, it’s not Sierra.”
“Are you sure?”
At the moment Jordan wasn’t sure of anything. He
pulled out the same standard answer he kept giving himself. “She lives in Brazil.”
Derek’s expression changed. He looked surprised and humored at Jordan’s response.
The shuttle bus pulled up to the curb and let out a hiss of exhaust. The driver opened the door. “It’s extra for the board.”
“Got it.” Derek stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Over his shoulder he said to Jordan, “You should talk to her. Ask her what she’s gonna do when she leaves here.”
Derek boarded the shuttle. “Call me tomorrow. Not too early, though.”
The door closed, and Jordan waved as the driver pulled away from the curb.
For a few moments Jordan didn’t move. He looked up at the night sky again and wondered if another storm was rolling in.
Jordan thought about how simple his life was when he arrived on Oahu a few days ago. He felt successful after shooting the wedding on Maui. In fact, he really enjoyed that. Probably more than he enjoyed the long hours he had stood in the hot sand today taking the same sort of shots he had taken the day before of curling waves and fast-moving surfers.
“What’s my problem?” he muttered. “Why don’t I know what I want to do anymore?” All Jordan knew for certain was that he would be crazy, absolutely crazy, to walk away from this opportunity.
Heading back to the beach house, Jordan thought about how Derek said he should talk to Sierra and ask what she was going to do when she left here. Jordan already knew. She was going to teach some missionary children in a jungle village. At least that’s what she had told him when they were marooned during the storm. He knew she wasn’t excited about it, but it was what was next for her. Was that Derek’s point? That even though Jordan wasn’t excited about signing the contract, he should just go ahead, make the commitment, and move on?
Before he opened the door to the beach house, Jordan remembered how Derek had called Sierra the “wild card.” She was. She was a beautiful, intriguing, captivating wild card, and she was throwing him off his game.
Jordan paused with his hand on the latch. The next step seemed clear. He needed to pull the wild card out of his winning hand and play with the other cards he had been dealt. The sooner this mesmerizing mermaid was out of his thoughts, the better.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Sierra was up before the dawn, before the birds and before her two housemates. She didn’t risk the chance of waking them by making coffee. Instead, she pulled on a long skirt and her Rancho Corona hooded sweatshirt, and slipped out the door with a beach towel wrapped around her shoulders.
A single morning star sat on the dark horizon, just under the dense cloud cover, looking as if it were suspended in midair, waiting for the signal to drop into the ocean like a lone pebble. Sierra felt a certain sympathy for that star, hanging there, all alone. She, too, felt as if she were waiting for a signal.
Yesterday had been such an amazing, vision-adjusting sort of day. The sky had been clear, the weather perfect, and the afternoon at the beach with Mariana had been ideal. Yesterday morning Sierra’s heart felt light after Mariana’s big moment the night before and the way Jordan’s gaze had landed on her as they stood in the kitchen. She started the day feeling hopeful about every area of her life. Derek’s words about what he valued touched her deeply.
Mariana’s words to her as they floated on the pink rafts had both unraveled and reknit all Sierra’s thoughts about the future. She realized how her heart had gotten off track. Her goal in life had somehow gone from loving God to trying to make Him proud of her. That all changed as she paddled and prayed alongside Mariana on the water. During that time, Sierra felt as if her life had been recalibrated.
On their drive back to the beach house, she and Mariana had stopped at a roadside stand to buy a plate of fresh-roasted shrimp. Sierra had stood there, looking at the long menu of options on the painted sign, and murmured to herself, “What do I want?” The answer, of course, was shrimp sautéed in garlic and butter.
But that simple question had triggered a memory, and her mother’s words had come back to her. Mom had told her she was “a woman of options” and should ask herself a simple question, “What do I want?”
So Sierra had asked herself, and the answer was to go to Santa Barbara, find a job at the restaurant of her parents’ friends, and follow this new relationship with Jordan until it came to a natural conclusion.
That was the answer. That was what she wanted. She wouldn’t return to Brazil. That dream, like Derek’s surfing dream, had gone as far as it was going to go. It was time for a new dream, and this was it.
Sierra had returned to the beach house with garlic breath and a grocery bag filled with graham crackers, peanut butter cups, and marshmallows. She wanted to show Mariana how to “pig out” with customized s’mores while they had all the right American brands to create the concoction.
That was yesterday. Clear skies, clear vision, and lots of emotional space opening up for a new dream.
This morning everything was different. Sierra pressed her feet into the cool sand. Tiny raindrops were falling, and the sky was lightening with shades of silver gray as streaks of rose pierced through the gathering of clouds. She felt as gray as the day and as confused as the wind that was coming in short gusts, spinning small tornadoes in the sand.
It was light enough for Sierra to see both ends of the long, wide beach. She stood in the middle, not sure which direction to walk. Even this moment of hesitation and indecision seemed to match everything else she felt this morning. She chose to go left, with the wind at her back, and took long strides through the firm sand at the shoreline while the snarling waves tried to reach for her ankles.
“Morning.” A hooded jogger passed her, followed by a young couple with very pale skin who were walking with their arms around each other.
Sierra stopped her march, tossed her beach towel on the sand, and sat on it with her arms circled around her bent knees. She rocked back and forth slightly as the sky filled with its full light on this stormy morning.
Everything seemed so clear yesterday. I was all set to move to Santa Barbara, and then Jordan came back after seeing Derek off, and everything changed.
Bits of the conversation Mariana and Sierra had with Derek around the campfire came back. She had told Derek about her decision to not return to Brazil and how his words had helped her process that decision. Derek’s concern had been for Mariana. How was she going to do without her best friend nearby?
“I’ll come visit her every chance I get,” Mariana had said. “She is supposed to find me a nice, Christian surfer in Santa Barbara. That’s Sierra’s new assignment.”
Derek said he was going to have a hard time without Jordan if Jordan took the new assignment that was undoubtedly being offered to him at dinner that night.
“What assignment?” Sierra hadn’t understood how the sponsorships worked. As Derek filled her in, her heart sank. What if she moved to Santa Barbara, and Jordan only used his place there as a home base while he flew around the world on assignment? Was she making a good decision to move to Santa Barbara?
In the same way that the storm clouds had gathered last night as they roasted their marshmallows over the open fire, clouds of doubt closed in on Sierra. When Jordan had arrived and she asked how the dinner went, his one-word answer was “Good.” That’s when Sierra felt her hopes drop into the ocean like a lone pebble.
More than anything she felt foolish for pinning her future on Jordan. She knew better than that. The only problem was that in her heart she was settled about the position in Brazil. That evening she had e-mailed Mark and Sara and told them she wouldn’t be coming back to Brazil and that the position as a teacher wasn’t something she felt called to do. Sending that e-mail had given her the strongest sense of peace and confidence she had felt in weeks. Sierra had no doubt that was the right decision.
But now what? Was Santa Barbara also the right decision?
Sierra watched the waves as they rose and crested. The white
foam along the top looked like a row of chorus dancers, all kicking up their froth in perfect harmony and peeling down the line as if they had practiced this wave a thousand times before giving their audience of one this stunning performance.
The wave flattened out and rolled to the shore. She watched how the salty water went only so far and no farther.
God tells the waves how far they can go. He controls their coming in and going out.
She wondered if she had read that in the Psalms somewhere. The thought seemed familiar. Sierra tried to interject that thought into her discomfort. God was in control of her coming in and going out as well, wasn’t He?
Her thoughts jumped back to the most painful words that had sunk into her yesterday during what had turned into a day filled with life-changing words. When Jordan returned from walking Derek to the shuttle stop, he had come out to the patio. Mariana offered him a wire coat hanger and marshmallows, but he turned them down.
Jordan stood in front of them, and with his hands on his hips, he said with firm conviction, “Looks like I’m going to take the offer. I’ll be moving here to Oahu and traveling all over the South Pacific.”
“Wow, congratulations!” Mariana said. “I might have to come visit you, or maybe you would like me to housesit for you while you’re traveling.”
Jordan had responded to Mariana with a cordial nod and a flat expression. He barely even glanced at Sierra before mumbling something about getting some sleep before he had to go back to work in the morning. That’s when Sierra’s star of hope dropped from her sky of possibilities.
Now that she was alone on the beach, staring at the vast horizon and the powerful waves, she felt an odd twinge of peace about her decision to go to Santa Barbara. Even though Jordan wouldn’t be living there, Sierra still thought she should go. She didn’t know why. It seemed random.
Maybe something important is there for me to do. Or maybe someone special lives there that I’m supposed to meet.
Sierra knew she didn’t want to meet someone special. She already had. Jordan Bryce was about the most ideal guy she had ever met. But he obviously hadn’t felt the same spark and magnetism. Even all the “God things” about their meeting apparently hadn’t been enough to convince him to pay attention to her.
Love Finds You in Sunset Beach, Hawaii Page 22