Single Dad's Wife (Fake Marriage Romance)

by Lara Swann

  I trail off, not really wanting to remember how bad it had been with her, for a time.

  “But you didn’t like it?” Nathan asks, his tone soft.

  “I couldn’t hack it.” I shake my head. I can’t remember what reason I gave him for that change in residency when I applied to the practice - it’s pretty unusual to change after a year in your chosen specialty, but not entirely unheard of - but that’s the simple truth of the matter. I just couldn’t do it. “I hadn’t anticipated…what that would be like, I guess. Almost every patient I saw reminded me of Lori. I was either too distracted by everything we were still going through with her when I saw them, or I got way too personally invested in each of their cases. I couldn’t keep it separate. So…I gave it up. Applied for a primary care residency instead. I still wanted that ongoing relationship - the personal contact with patients - but I couldn’t deal with them all having similar cases to my sister. I still struggle with it sometimes…Hannah, Mrs. Winters’ daughter, that hit me harder than it should, even if I did help.”

  He’s quiet for a few moments, but somehow that feels comfortable, supportive even. I’m not sure why I told him all that, exactly, except that maybe I still feel bad about snapping at him earlier - or maybe once I started talking about all of this, I couldn’t stop. It’s been a very long time since I’ve confided any of this to anyone - and certainly not to another doctor. It always sounds a bit stupid to me, when I say it, like I’m being overly sentimental about it all.

  When he does eventually respond, though, it’s not at all what I was expecting.

  “I became a doctor because it’s the last thing my Dad wanted before he died.” He says, leaning back in the seat and folding his hands behind his head, gaze turned upward in memory. “I was debating between pursuing medicine or law for the longest time - and when Dad got cancer and we went through all that, I didn’t think I could do it. It seemed horrendous to me, to be in a place where you’d watch people dying over and over and over again…but he said…well, he said all the usual sentimental things, of course - told me he was proud of me, all of that - but the one that stuck with me…he said he’d be watching, and that he couldn’t wait to see all the good I’d do in the world. I think that decided me, right then and there. It’s still something I live by, even if it sounds too silly for me to admit out loud very often. Which choice will do the most good.”

  I glance over at him, trying to fight down the sudden surge of emotion within me as my heart goes out to him. I never knew any of that. Never would have even guessed it for a moment. And I don’t know why he’s suddenly telling me, either, but I suddenly see how he managed to start his own practice so young. With something like that driving him, it’s no wonder he’s achieved all the things he has.

  “Still couldn’t work in a hospital, though, so I guess maybe I know how some of that feels.” He adds, shifting to glance at me, the wry smile on his face making him seem so much more self-assured right now than I feel.

  I nod, but I can’t bring myself to speak right now. There’s something thrumming between us, an intense atmosphere stirred up by the pent-up emotion in his words that’s somehow more - deeper - than just the usual sexual tension.

  “It’s part of the reason I insisted on those Friday freebie sessions too.” He continues, seemingly impervious to all of that. “It means we can reach more people, even if it is still a drop in the ocean, and…well, maybe if my parents hadn’t been so concerned with the cost, they would have gone for a few more regular check-ups or additional screening tests. And if they had, maybe they would have caught the cancer in time.”

  He sighs, but it sounds more resigned than pained, as if that’s such a well-worn, familiar thought that it no longer has any sharpness to it.

  “I’m glad you insisted on looking into those medical conferences, you know.” He says, looking over at me, and I blink at the sudden change in topic. “You’re right. We should be trying to take these ideas further. I guess I lost sight of that for a while.”

  “You had more than enough reason to.” I say, shaking my head - Nathan is always way harder on himself than he needs to be - before offering him a smile. “But I’m glad you’re on board now. Maybe once things settle down for you, we can start looking at some of it together.”

  “I’d like that.” He returns the smile, and something within me relaxes.

  From his initial reaction, I’d assumed he didn’t really approve of this project - and I’d been happy to pursue it alone - but it feels so much better to have his support behind me.

  “I’ve found one that I’m interested in, actually.” I say, glad for the chance to steer the conversation onto something slightly lighter. “There’s a ‘Healthcare in the Community’ Conference in Maryland in a few months that looks really good. A lot of the panels and discussion groups are focused on primary care and how we might tackle the generational shift away from it, with the trend of both patients and doctors bypassing it for hospitals, which I thought would be really interesting, and it’s got a few sessions on equity and access to healthcare that I’d like to see too.”

  “That does sound good.” Nathan says, almost as if surprised, and I have to hide a smile.

  “I thought I’d buy a ticket and attend this year just to see what it’s like, but I’ll let them know my interest in presenting in the future too. Hopefully by next year’s conference, I’ll have put together something I can take them. I was going to ask on Monday, actually, I’ve made a survey that I’d like to ask the patients who come to our Friday sessions to fill in, and I wanted to check you were okay with that?”

  “Yes. Of course.” He says, sounding surprised again. “I had no idea you’d made so much progress with this.”

  I shrug. “Well, I’ve had a bit of time recently, and I guess I was excited for it.”

  Plus, it’s been a way to take my mind off…certain things.

  “So I can see.” Nathan says, smiling at me in that way he has, the one that makes certain things light up inside me. “And you make it pretty easy for someone else to get excited about it, too.”

  I try not to flush, keeping my eyes on the road, as he sits back and considers next to me.

  “A few months, you say?”

  “Yeah. August.”

  “Well…that should be enough time for this custody case to be over and everything settled.” He tilts his head at me. “How would you feel about it if I came along too? Those panels do sound interesting, actually—but it’s your project, so I don’t want to—”

  “That would be great.” I say, enthusiasm bubbling up immediately. “I’d much rather have someone else there too - I’m awful at these things when I don’t know anyone.”

  Nathan laughs. “That’s probably half of the reason I’ve never made the effort. Well, let’s see how it all goes - and if you change your mind about the company, I won’t mind at all - but in the meantime, I’ll start looking through the practice’s budget and find some money for your trip, at least.”

  “Really?” I blink, surprised. I’d definitely expected to pay for this myself.

  “We should have a budget for this sort of thing anyway - it’s about time someone gave me a reason to create one.” Nathan smiles at me, and just hearing his support fills me with warmth.

  “Thanks, Nathan. Really.”

  He shrugs that off, but continues with real interest. “So, tell me more about it, then. Do you know much about these panels?”

  I start giving him more details, his attention making me feel almost self-conscious, but also really appreciative. It’s a little strange, talking about work like this - we’ve deliberately avoided letting our work and personal lives overlap while we’re doing this - but it’s been happening more and more recently. It doesn’t even feel entirely like work - more like I’m confiding in a friend than my boss - and from the way he’s looking at me, seeming more interested in my enthusiasm than in exactly what I’m saying, I’d guess he feels the same way.

  The time pas
ses far quicker than I expect, and I feel almost disappointed when we start pulling up onto Nathan’s street, his Mom’s car parked just outside.

  “Thanks again for this.” I say, as I pull in behind it. “I really appreciate you coming out to my parents’ with me.”

  “You don’t need to thank me.” He shakes his head, a wry smile on his lips. I twist around in my seat once I’ve stopped the car, and his eyes seem to linger on me longer than they need to. “Really, I enjoyed it, as bizarre as that might be. I guess I haven’t had much time just for me since Stephanie left - it’s either all with Emma, or work - and while I love both of those…maybe I should more often. I had a really good time this weekend.”

  “Me too.” I say, the words coming out softer than I would have liked.

  He smiles at me, those beautiful blue eyes full of life, and then turns to get out of the car.

  I sigh, my head falling back against the rest as I watch him head up the path.

  Don’t, Jessica. Don’t even think it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Nathan

  “A re you sure I can’t convince you to come?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder and smiling broadly at Jessica. “It’ll be funnn - believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Emma try to feed an alpaca.”

  Wait, did I just say that? How much more Dad-focused can I get?

  Jessica laughs, shaking her head. “I’d love to, really, but this date has been in the diary for weeks now - if I cancel on Ashley again, she’s going to start thinking you’re holding me hostage.”

  “Maybe I should try that.” I say, giving her my best devious smirk, while looking through my recent post for the petting zoo voucher. I’m sure they sent me one recently - that was where this whole idea came from.

  It’s a pity Jessica can’t come, though. If I hadn’t already gotten Emma hyped up and excited about it, I’d be tempted to postpone it. Maybe by then, that damn voucher will have turned up too…

  “Yeah, I’d like to see you—”

  The doorbell interrupts Jessica, and we both glance up - then she takes one look at me surrounded by post I should have already trashed and laughs.

  “I’ll go.” She offers, shaking her head at me.

  I watch as she leaves, my eyes lingering on her lithe form as my attention wanders from what I was doing.

  Then again, maybe it’s a good thing she can’t make it. We have been spending a lot of time together recently…maybe too much…

  It’s hard not to, though. She’s just so easy to talk to and she seems to understand me better than anyone else these days. That’s probably inevitable after living together like this for a while, but it’s more than that, too - ever since that trip to visit her family, things have felt a little different between us—

  “…who are you?!”

  The outraged voice sends a shock of ice through my veins and I glance up with a start.

  Oh…shit.

  I drop the papers in my hand and rush through to the hallway - to see a stunned Stephanie on the doorstep, staring at an uncomfortable-looking Jessica.

  “Stephanie.” I say, stepping forward and easing past Jessica, who shoots me an uncertain-but-appreciative glance. “What are you doing here?”

  I try to keep my tone controlled, but I can feel the spike of adrenaline racing through me. This can’t be good. I never intended for—

  “What am I—what do you mean—what—who—is that?” She shoots a dagger-glance at Jessica, which is enough to set me on edge, my jaw clenching automatically. “What’s she doing here?!”

  “I just asked the same thing of you.” I grind out, even as my stomach twists uncomfortably. I hate to get Jessica caught in the middle of this - so far, our marriage arrangement has been pretty simple - but with Stephanie here on the doorstep, we don’t have much choice. I glance back at her and she gives me a small, encouraging smile, nodding subtly. That helps, but it’s still hard to turn back to Stephanie and actually say it.

  “This is Jessica.” I say, giving her a pointed, dangerous ‘be-polite’ kind of glance. She’s actually met Jessica a couple of times before - I hired her about a year before Stephanie left me - but I’m not surprised she doesn’t remember her. By that point she seemed to make a conscious effort to be irritated by anything relating to my job. “My wife.”

  If I’d suddenly grown another head, I don’t think she would have been as surprised - and for a moment, a blessed moment, even Stephanie is left speechless, her mouth dropping open.

  “You’re married?!” She finally gets out, her voice rising with incredulity as she looks between us. “No—no way—you never—”

  “Keep your voice down.” I say, in a sharp, hushed tone of my own. “Emma is only down the hallway.”

  I’m lucky that she didn’t spring up to see who was at the door immediately - and I’m belatedly thankful I did give in and let her watch that children’s TV show while I got ready to go out this morning, after all.

  “And what does she think about that? What have you told our daughter about this marriage of yours?!” She snaps back, her eyes flashing angrily as some of the disbelief fades to outrage, although she does at least lower her voice a little.

  “That Jessica is my friend.” I say, the answer coming more easily than I’d expected, as well as being oddly close to the truth. “We wanted to take things slowly—didn’t want to confuse her—”

  “And you think adding some random woman to her life isn’t going to confuse her?” Her tone becomes more scathing. “Especially at the moment, when I’m trying so hard to build a relationship with her, you go and add someone else—who lives with her—”

  “Jessica isn’t some random woman. If anything, you are. You’re the one who just appeared a couple of months ago and announced you were her Mom. Jessica is my wife—”

  It’s surprisingly easy to say that convincingly, my anger and defensiveness feeling perfectly real when Stephanie provokes me this much. Jessica doesn’t deserve to have someone talk about her like that.

  “So you say.” Stephanie’s gaze narrows - still angry, but there’s something else there as well, a calculating look that worries me far more. “Though this is the first I’ve heard of it.”

  “Well—”

  “I’ve never seen that before, either.” She says, her eyes flicking down - and it takes me a moment to realize she’s looking at the wedding ring on my finger. My stomach flips and I feel a little sick as it immediately occurs to me how close that could have been. We don’t wear tend to wear the rings around the house at all - I only put it on earlier because I’m about to go out with Emma, and I imagine Jessica is the same for her meeting with her friend.

  Shit. Maybe we need to rethink that. I should have guessed Stephanie would just show up sometime.

  “I haven’t been wearing it around you - I didn’t want to cause a scene.” I say, though it sounds a little weak as I try to fight the sick feeling in my gut. Idiot. Total idiot.

  “And how’s that going for you?” She retorts, her scowl deepening. “Just when were you going to tell me about this, Nathan? I have the right to agree to who my daughter is going to—”

  “Don’t you talk to me about rights, Stephanie—” I growl, wanting her gone already. This conversation has too many pitfalls.

  “Not this again.” Her eyes flash with anger as she looks between us. “I mean, for fuck’s sake, Nathan—you’re springing on me that you’re suddenly married? Married? You? I don’t even believe it. When was it—your marriage? You made no mention of it—”

  “Yeah. Two guesses as to why. I didn’t even know that you were going to stick around—and I still don’t know what you’re doing here, but we’re about to go out so—” I say, trying to end this before she can get too close with those questions. I’m caught between the frustration and annoyance I feel every time I see her, and a creeping worry that this is all going to go wrong.

  “Ooh, a nice family outing, is it?” She says, the bitterness obvious and
despite everything, I’m almost glad to see it. It’s better than when she starts thinking too hard about this. “I actually came around because you never got back to me about seeing Emma. I figured that since we usually arrange for a Saturday, that I might be able to join in with your plans for today—but obviously I didn’t realize you’d rather just play happy families with your new wife.”

  I feel a small stab of guilt at that - and slightly disturbed by how close the accusation is to some of what I was feeling earlier about wanting Jessica to come along - but that’s quickly overshadowed by her attitude.

  “I’m sure you can understand why I wouldn’t want to see you unexpectedly, whatever our plans were.” I say, more coldly than I intend. “I’ll get back to you about—”

  “It is a new wife, right?” Stephanie continues as if I hadn’t spoken, frowning in a sudden concentration that looks far too much like suspicion for me. “Or did you remarry while I was gone and just somehow never mention it when I got back?”

  “I—”

  “I don’t buy that.” She says, answering for me - an interruption I’m almost grateful for, as I didn’t have a clue what I was going to say. I’ve never been good at lying. I probably would have claimed it was a long-term thing and been proved false the moment she went to look it up. “You’re not that duplicitous. I don’t believe you could have sat there when I announced I was coming back and said nothing about it—especially not when I was talking about how much the courts value a—”

  She stops abruptly, her eyes widening, and I feel like groaning as I watch the moment the thought enters her mind. I don’t let myself. Instead, I deliberately close off, shutting down any reaction or response as I stare her down, but my stomach drops.

  “Oh fuck, Nathan. That’s it, isn’t it? You’re suddenly married for that. Fuck me. I didn’t think you’d be the kind of guy—”

  “Fucking hell. Really? That’s what you think?” I ask, staring her down and trying to act incredulous. It’s not hard to play up my very real frustration and annoyance, but I feel like I’m falling further and further out of my depth here. I hate this sort of thing. I fucking told my lawyer that. “Just because you don’t like it—”