She nodded.
“Are you serious?” he asked.
“But you ate them, too,” I said.
Claire shrugged her shoulders. “Do I look like I care?”
Before we left, she hugged me and opened an umbrella for us while Tonio offered me his arm like a gentleman. I held on to him until we reached the temple.
The sun had set long ago, the path uphill stood dark. His calm demeanour scared me, but I did my best to contain it. He inhaled through his mouth and stretched out his arm, whispering to himself. After sparking up a few times, an orb of light appeared in his hand, similar to the alley lights at the library. He watched me, scanned my reaction, before we continued walking. I was close to betraying myself by asking him how he conjured it.
My hands curled into fists during our walk, afraid of Tonio instead of the wolf that followed us through the woods. He strove on without detecting the creature. Assuming that it watched out for me, I pretended to stumble and dropped half of the berries as a sign of gratitude.
6. Siren’s Voice
When we reached the entrance, he looked around and noticed that I continued walking.
“Is no carriage waiting for you?” he asked.
“I live in the night tower.”
“How convenient, Magicians love the tower,” he said while scanning my face again.
The campus would not sleep yet, but the lights were dimmed already.
We walked past the gymnasium where the track team practised during a spring shower. They waved to us. Tonio waved back, and I let go of his arm, afraid to get tied in rumours.
In front of the tower, we stopped. He held the umbrella over my head and let the rain pour onto his back.
“What are you doing?” I asked him and stepped forward.
His expression didn’t change. He looked at me unimpressed, never smiling like he would for everyone else.
“Thank you for bringing me home,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow and put his hand on my shoulder. My heart pounded under it and commanded me to flee.
“Be careful with my sister,” he said. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
After rubbing my arm he let go off me and joined the team. Their laughter spread across the gymnasium while I climbed the stairs, longing to belong, and I remembered how Claire made me laugh, too. Perhaps one day we could all be friends, at least until they found out I wasn’t who I had claimed to be—and I feared Tonio would get behind it soon.
I dragged my legs to the door of my new room and despised the stairs already. A single candle burned in front of it. I took it with me to light the ones inside and accidentally kicked against a container on the floor. Off it came a lovely smell that watered up my mouth. I lifted it up and stepped inside for the first time.
The walls stretched to the roof that was supported by pillars. The attic loft lived up to its name and even though the room had no corners, the furniture was sectioned well.
Before me stood a bed with dark blue sheets and pillows, big enough to fit three people and high enough to store all that I ever owned under it. Besides it, a table with books and empty papers, ink, and a feather of metal. ‘Amari Forge’ was engraved on its holder.
Further away, stood a sink and a tub under the window. The water inside reflected the moonlight and coloured the area in an icy blue shade. Then, a mirror and a closet where my dress and nightgown were hanging, giving off a flowery scent. By the wall stood a barrel with a tap attached to it and a pipe that led through the roof. I tapped against it, and it responded with a dull sound. It was full of rainwater. Past that, there was a place for studies and experiments. A mortar, pots, and bottles were arranged neatly on another table. Even a tiny cauldron sat in the corner.
I opened the shelf and found dried herbs, though most of the jars stood empty. I wished I had enough time to fill them all.
Everything was at its destined place, as I had been. The place where I belonged or believed to do so.
I put the strawberries on the table and lit a few more candles before opening the box. A meal had been delivered to me. The soup was barely warm, but I enjoyed every spoonful with dark bread. They prepared tomatoes with onions as well. Its fresh aroma made me welcome the spring in myself. I chewed on it for a while, taking my time. By the end of the last bite, I smiled and tears gathered on my lids. I earned none of it but was greedy for more. It all was only possible with the power of money, my grandfather’s money. I cried and laughed hysterically, finishing my meal.
Rubbing the tears and crumbs off my cheeks—still chewing, I ran to the table beside my bed and dipped the feather into black ink. While I wrote, I was careful not to drop any tears on the paper.
‘Dear grandfather, I finally made it and have seen many wonders since I arrived. I wish you could see me, hold me and tell me that I deserve it. Otherwise, I can’t enjoy it. Dear grandfather, they assumed me to be a Mage, and I played along. Now, this paranoia won’t leave me. Sooner or later, it will be obvious to them. When that day comes, will I say it was worth it? Dearest grandfather, I wish I could see you, hold you and tell you all about it. Otherwise, how can I possibly go on?’
After stuffing the letter inside an envelope, I sealed it with wax and opened all the windows with levers—they were out of reach, even for my height. I proceeded to the more or less empty side of the room: The experimental area. There, I would set up my altar, which had been flying around in my bag for weeks.
By burning bundles of rosemary, I cleansed the candles, the chalice, and the athame[1] I had bought from Deg.
During our travel, he sharpened the short blade, assuming I used it for physical protection, though the athame was never intended to cut anything but bad energy.
I walked around the room and covered every bit of it with smoke while commanding any evil presence to leave.
When I sat down by the chimney and started a fire, a noticeable weight lifted off my shoulders, I wasn’t arching my back anymore, and the tension in my head diluted into the rest of my body.
The books they left for me caught my attention, and I couldn’t wait to browse through them after my nightly wash-up.
I tapped some water from the barrel into the cauldron and placed it by the fire.
While it warmed up, I got rid of Claire’s dress and examined the stacked soaps in the cupboards.
After cleaning my face, body, and hair, I put on the nightgown and poured the dirty water down the hole in the wall behind the tub. That’s where I noticed the bathtub had a tap attached to it, too and was excited to try it the next night. Though I would spend most of the time heating the water.
I grabbed the books and placed them in front of the chimney.
The History of Roness, Dicheval Graduates, Herbs of Viflem and Heior, Count Perkolin Dich: Studies of a Mere Magician, Tales of Uraian Magic. After looking up Gerogy Volkov in Dicheval Graduates and not finding an entry, I promised to investigate the reason.
Afterwards, I browsed through Tales of Uraian Magic, hoping I would learn more about witchcraft.
The pages were barely holding on to the binding. The collection of folklore contained pages of reports with diary entries in between, and they all were of different handwriting. Thankfully, they were sorted chronologically. In the middle of the book, I found the first mentions of a Witch.
‘His demonic laugh brought terror to all but his Witch.
The townsfolk fled from Soarahaen. They left me alone in my wheelchair to witness the most horrific of all Gods.
The sky blackened and lightning struck around them when the dark Lord spoke his curse onto her.
“You shall never share a bed with men but me. You shall bring destruction to those who dare to try. And shall curses be brought upon those who seek to continue your work, upon all who dare to seek your powers. I shall claim them for myself.”
And when the Witch rose from the ground, she slit her arms open and drenched him in her blood while she chanted, “And you shall love me and those who follow in my footsteps. A
s you shall be the fuel to our power and bound to us until our last day.”
She laid still in his arms, and with his tears, he flooded the harbour before he disappeared.’
I skipped further and crime reports piled up, all charged with witchcraft and punished with death.
‘…cursed the cattle of Soering Dugvenur with sickness…,’ I flipped the pages, ‘…charged with bewitching… brothel… charged with attempted poisoning… victorious declaration of demonic absence in… Durgardrin proud to announce the obliteration of all Witches.’
Every page I turned caused throbbing pain in my chest, and I threw the book across the room.
I curled up and cried out loud while the suppressed memories invaded my mind. I had witnessed the hate of men, too. I remembered it all: How they dragged me through the dirt with a rope, laughing. How they forced themselves into my flesh, before lighting a fire beneath my feet. And had it not been the worst storm in years that night, I would’ve followed my sisters into the Underworld or perhaps nothingness.
I howled for hours until I fell asleep.
When I awoke, the sun had risen high, but yesterday didn’t want to leave me, and I continued crying until my eyes dried out.
Rubbing chamomile oil on to my wrists, I managed to get up and prepare tea.
The book laid open on the other side of the room. While approaching the old rubbish, I thought about destroying it, throwing it into the fireplace. But when I knelt down to pick it up, I noticed fine writing that seemed familiar.
I searched for the torn pages in my grimoire and confirmed it. The pages came from the same source. My fingers were tingling again, and I rushed my eyes through the words.
‘Descent into the Underworld, blood ritual… wine… encounter… possible death.’
The source ended with a warning.
‘Do not trust him or his offers.’
After reading the instructions multiple times, I noted two missing things to perform the ritual: Chalk and wine.
I wrapped myself in Claire’s dress again and counted the coins in my bag before I grabbed the letter and ran downstairs.
The sunrays burned inside my eyes, and I regretted not taking my hat with me.
I thought the North would be less sunny.
I’d buy a new one with the leftover of my savings, but relying on my grandfather’s coins after that seemed impudent. Perhaps I would reconsider it if I found a hat to my liking.
While I was walking past the gymnasium, I noticed Claire sitting on a bench with the track team.
I hoped she would ignore me, but she waved her arms on sight.
“Morning, Claire. What’s the matter?” I asked when I approached her.
“Lunch?”
I looked around. “In the gymnasium?”
A boy beside her turned around. The same dark-skinned one from last night where I completely failed to notice his most prominent feature: Brown, cat-like eyes.
“Claire,” he said, “is part of the team.” Chewing on grapes, the corners of his mouth wobbled.
“Be nice, bad panther,” she said and scrubbed his head while feeding him.
She seemed to be popular, and I couldn’t distinguish if it was because of her money, her power or because she was a caring person. I knew I liked her as much as I feared her.
“Claire!” Another voice appeared behind me.
I turned around to find a slender boy in a jersey, pouring water over his dark brown hair. He ran up to her and shook his head above her chest, wetting her.
Claire screamed out loud and punched his chest with fists. But he clawed his hands into the bench, overpowering her and I pulled him back by the shoulder with all my strength.
When he fell to the floor, they all went quiet.
“What’s your problem, freak?” he shouted at me, and my organs twisted inside.
Claire let herself fall on his lap and clamped his head while he jolted.
Ultimately, he broke away from her and yelled at my face again. “Get the fuck away from her!”
Vomit shot up my throat and I ran away. His voice echoed in my ears and deprived me of orientation. The campus swirled before my eyes as I bumped into the doorframe of the infirmary. My legs collapsed, and I threw up.
He must’ve been a Siren. Even though I believed their existence was an old pirate tale, the effect of his voice was undeniable.
I’d let Claire’s potion slide, thought love-poison would harm nobody, but now I saw why magic became unpopular.
7. Offering
“She’s awake now,” Myrn’s muffled chatter whizzed in my ears and Claire pulled back the white curtain.
“I’m fine,” I whispered.
“Only because it is not allowed to kill on campus,” she said and sat down, holding my hand.
“Is he…?”
Claire nodded. “A Siren with a bad temper.” She apologised to me in his name, but I would not accept it. “Kress is overprotective,” she said. “They all are.”
With heavy footsteps, Tonio stomped into the infirmary. His face and neck were burning red. “Curly,” he demanded her attention, “are you out of your mind?”
She folded her hands into fists, her face flared up and I could see how tears collected themselves on her lids. “I’m not sick. I can watch out for myself,” she screamed.
“Do you, though?” he screamed back. “Why does Kress distract me from my patients?”
“It’s all a big misunderstanding,” I whispered in between.
“Yesterday she was your best friend, and today she’s the freak?” The tears of his sister did not stop him from shouting. “Give me a reason to not take you home this instant!”
Claire wiped her eyes while Tonio furiously stared at her for a moment. Then, he noticed the stains on my dress and wrinkled his eyebrows.
“I’ve got library duty in an hour,” she said, “unless you can convince Cassius to find a replacement.” With a confident tone, she won their feud.
“Whatever,” he said and waved her away from the bed. He lifted the blanket and hovered his hand over my stomach. “I’ve never seen him use it for anything, apart from flirting. I bet he didn’t mean it.”
“That doesn’t excuse it,” I said.
“No, you’re right. I’ll talk to him.”
“You better,” Claire ground her teeth to which Tonio scoffed at her and walked away.
“I’ve got patients. Get Bryon to walk you home after duty.” He turned his head around and commanded Claire to leave me alone.
In the distance, the door fell shut, and she plunged herself beside me instead.
“We didn’t have courses today, where were you hurrying to?”
“The market, I needed some things,” I answered and turned under my blanket while snuggling myself in. I was in no condition to climb the stairs to my room.
“Things like…?” She didn’t let go of me.
“Wine,” I mumbled and thought about ways to sidetrack her. “Also, chalk, for drawing.”
“You can take the chalk from any classroom, and for wine, you could’ve asked me.” And become a suspicious leech, I finished her sentence in my head.
When I didn’t respond to her, she sighed and laid down behind me, brushing through my hair. “Don’t be afraid to be my friend.”
I snuffled into the covers, suppressing my quaky chin. Someone wanted me as a friend. But how could she not, as I misled her from the start? The potion had made me lie to her liking. I’d brought her home out of fear of her stance and chose my words carefully around her. When she called me a Mage, I hadn’t hesitated to nod, even when she called us nasty. All my trickery had confirmed the stigma of Witches. There would be no easy way out of this mess.
Chewing on my lip, I remembered the way she giggled about everything I said, and how she clapped her hands in excitement. She could make me feel relevant by choosing dresses for me, feeding me and brewing tea. I was not afraid to be her friend.
“You should be afraid of being mine
,” I said.
We remained silent for a moment before she hugged me tightly. The more she welcomed me, the more I was ashamed of myself.
“Don’t do this,” I whispered, at which she enclosed me tighter.
“I’ve seen it,” she said, “you… at the stake.”
My heart fibrillated, but I tried to stay quiet.
“It’s hard to tell apart. What’s real, I mean, and what’s a dream. They say, I’m sick and it’s a symptom. I believe I am, but see, I’m not stupid.” She pressed her face into my hair. “This time, it was clear. It slipped, from you to me, when you brushed my skin. A flash of memory. I saw it. Don’t be afraid to be my friend, Uraian Witch. I promise not to tell.”
After debating a response in my head, I came up with nothing useful. Instead, I turned around to her.
Claire’s iris sparkled up, and she smiled at me, pinching her eyes.
“I’d be honoured to be your friend,” I said the only thing left on my mind, to which she clasped my hand and placed it on her heart. It was raving between her full chest but I didn’t envy her. My heartbeat caught up to the speed of hers.
“You make me happy,” she whispered.
We continued to rest in silence until she remembered her library duty.
“Can I go with you?” I asked as I was getting impatient to have my hands all over the books.
Together, we exited the infirmary and before going to the library, we took some chalk from Harriet’s classroom. Claire explained that it counted as academy property and since she, a Di Centi, was the owner, all things belonged to her. Besides that, she showed me the cafeteria so I could pick up my meals and the office at the gate where I would leave my letter to be sent.
When I handed over the coins, the office worker refused to take them. “Postal service is included in the general fees.”
After we reached the crosswalk and entered the alley, Claire noticed my nervous looks at her and asked me what was on my mind.
“You said, ‘Oh, no,’ when you first met me here.”
Her cheeks flushed, she stuttered in search of words. “Excuse me,” she said, “I didn’t mean it.” She scratched her head, then, gesticulated left and right with her hands.
Verra of Wolves Page 4