Being a Witch, had become my last worry.
The inner circle were not just rich children with a hunger for power, they had political battles in dimensions outside of my grasp. We all had become figurines on a chessboard, and I feared to be the first one to fall.
On the last day of the weekend, a strong presence pounded on my door again. “I can feel you, Mage,” Tonio yelled. “Open the door or I’ll use a key.”
I crawled under my blanket and moved as little as possible.
“Fine, I hope you’re dressed,” he said, turned the key and walked in.
“You can’t do that!” I barked.
“Have to disagree on that one.” He sat down, fondling my curves through the blanket. “You neglect your responsibilities. Claire-,”
I waved him off. “Let Bryon handle her, apparently he knows what he’s doing.”
“So, you found out. That’s how she is. I told her to confess it to you, but she sees no problem with it. Their thing has been going on longer than you think. Bryon should be mad at you, but he isn’t.”
I let him see my swollen lids by pulling the blanket off my face.
“Don’t tell me you have been crying because of these animals,” he whispered.
“I should’ve known, but I expected Kress all over her, not him. You told me, that she’s promised and our fling would end—I didn’t listen.” My cheeks burned from constant wiping, and I got sick of crying.
“Don’t take it personally,” he said. “If you can’t change it, you might as well enjoy it.”
“What’s the point then?”
“Ensure the survival of the clan. We’ve already talked about this.”
“If that’s true, why don’t you marry Claire off to Prince Fellis? He looks like the perfect fit for this.”
“Because they are our enemies. Claire is Viscountess of Pilini, the key to the Isles. How could he not want her? He’ll barricade her in her room, take her Island and continue Heior’s expansion. Their heretics would execute you for kissing her on sight. Trust me, we’re not the bad guys.” He tried to put me back on track, but the more I thought about it the less interest I had in Claire and their political madness.
If she didn’t want me, like I thought she did, it would not be worth it as it would not last.
I picked myself up and agreed on doing the bare minimum, like bringing her home two times a week.
Sitting in my chamomile infused bathwater, I scrubbed every inch of my body until it left bruises. I wailed while I planned my departure. I would never marry Tonio, and instead of staying with Deg or Veymor I pushed them all away. It was impossible to find Gerogy on my own, even if I took all the coins with me and bought a map.
I was on my own again.
This time, I would follow my own interests and get as powerful as I could, then see where it would take me.
Over the next weeks, I obeyed Tonio’s orders and stopped meeting Claire apart from my duties.
When she tried holding my hand, I pulled it away and rejected every apology she whispered during courses.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you thought of us like that,” she said and pushed me farther away.
For me, the romance had ended, and I kept it casual between us with impersonal chatter. Still, she involved me in the party planning, and I accepted every suggestion she made towards the flavour of the cake, decorations and the guest list.
Besides her, I’d made no new friends. My alchemy coursemates were just that, coursemates. I didn’t know their lives outside the academy, but Claire insisted on inviting them anyway so I could change that. She did her best, trying to fulfil my wishes, but it was not enough. The image of her kissing somebody else turned my stomach and reappeared whenever she sought my affection.
After Doctor Di Centi’s dinners, Claire would often pull on my sleeves and ask me to stay overnight. The day before our birthday party, she ambushed me while I slipped through the door of the dining room. This time I gripped her wrists tightly, holding her away, instead of rushing away. “Please, Claire, please,” I said, “don’t touch me.”
“What else can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it. I broke things off with Bryon and I’m waiting for you. I’m waiting. There’s no one else.”
When she cried, she looked like a toddler with her runny nose and slurred words. I couldn’t resist comforting her with a hug, even though she had clearly overstepped my boundaries—I still craved her. It was not a longing for her flesh but rather her peaceful presence around me. I would refrain from calling it ‘love’.
“Forgive me,” I said and left.
The lavender she left on my garments tortured me on my way to the tower, and I debated if I could attend our birthday celebration without causing a scene. I sensed she would use it as an opportunity to rekindle our relationship, and I could not deny that I wanted to see her try.
There, I sensed the wolfess beside me again and paused. Her snout circled me twice before she flapped her ears, leading me to her den.
My heart throbbed. She showed me the shoes, scarves, and jewellery she collected. Perhaps she thought they were what I searched for. Thankful, I patted her fur and promised to bring more meat for the effort.
Early in the morning, Bryon picked me up and brought me to the manor where we enjoyed breakfast together while servants placed decor and flowers around us.
Claire stood awfully silent. Apart from pulling on my sleeves, she hesitated to talk to me until the first guests arrived.
“All this is for you and for me.”
At the party, Tonio acquainted me with Laora Colvin, our Countess, and her husband Pete, whose face was identical to Kress’s. She was fierce and whooped as if every word of hers was an announcement. Pete stood beside her quietly, looking at his pointy shoe caps.
“My godson is the most desirable bachelor of the province,” she said and tapped Tonio’s shoulder. “I’m blessing your marriage, dear children. I know your Papá can’t wait.”
“Talk some sense into him, will you?” Tonio asked, but Laora shook her head.
“No, no. Look at this magical flower. You ought to birth an heir while she blooms.”
She excused herself to greet other guests and left me suspecting that she would do the exact opposite of what Tonio requested. He reassured me that no one would wed us until we proclaimed ourselves ready, but it didn’t soothe the flickering between my breasts.
A local bard had recited his rhymes about almost all guests that arrived while they placed their presents on one pile. He walked through the masses and approached us while stroking his lute.
“A lovely pair, all eyes can see.
Blessed with riches your union be.
Stranded princess of coal meets one silver coin.
For all world wishes these colours to join.”
He bowed to me, caressing my hand, and I had to smile, even though I wasn’t in the mood.
When Claire entered the room in a new dress, his attention deviated over to her.
“Little bird with sparkling feathers.
Her special day is all that matters.
We came to see her laugh and dance.
I hope to be worthy of her glance.”
“Whatever, Garrey.” She bypassed him, pushing his lute out of her way.
The bard grinned at her and continued strolling through the crowd as if nothing had happened.
“Our Countess is iron.
Or Countess is steel.
Most likely you’ll eye her,
out in the sea.
Fire! Fire, when she departs.
Fire! Fire, in my heart.”
Claire clasped my hand, trembling. “The cake,” she mumbled. “Do you want to cut it?”
I nodded slightly, and she pulled me through the service doors, where I assumed we would try the first piece by ourselves.
As soon as the door fell shut behind us, she pressed me against it and laid her head on my chest. I did not dare push her away, I should’ve known she lied—s
he was terrible at it.
“Is everything to your liking?” she asked.
“Sure.”
She looked up to me, squeezing her mouth for a kiss. I adored her plump lips and my heart raged, but I couldn’t bow down and answer their call, even though I wanted to.
As she pushed herself onto her toes, she swung her arms around my neck and forced our lips together. The spirit prickled on my tongue. “I miss you,” she said, slid her hands over my hips and grabbed my buttocks.
“I miss you, too.”
“Then visit me, kiss me,” she said, “like you used to.” Claire’s chin quaked, and she held on to me, leaving her tears on the lace of my dress. “I would take back what I did if I could,” she added.
“But you can’t,” I said.
“Will you at least let me try?”
I nodded and kissed her forehead before rejoining the guests.
After Claire had cut the first piece of cake in front of everyone, the servants distributed the rest and the conversations echoed through the room.
Suddenly, Doctor Di Centi rang a tiny silver bell to quiet everyone down. Laora stood by his side, forcing a smile while she squeezed Kress’s hand until it turned blue.
“Dear guests, it is an honour to see you welcome my daughter into adulthood. Our lovely Countess and I want to use this opportunity to announce another reason to celebrate.”
Kress stepped in front of Claire while looking at his feet. “Claire,” he harrumphed and knelt. “I’ve carried my family’s ring with me for many years and you have tried it on countless times, complaining that it slipped from your fingers. Today, I want to try it one more time.”
The guests gasped in awe. Claire turned her head and looked into my eyes but I was even more shocked than she was.
Tonio laid his hand on my lap under the table and squeezed it, reminding me of our agreement, and I nodded to her.
“Claire Di Centi, with your father’s and brother’s blessing I’m asking you to marry me.” Kress presented the ring and waited while she hesitated to stretch out her hand. The green gem on its golden band was as big as an eye and sparkled at every move. Ultimately, she gave in and let him slide the ring over her knuckles.
Tonio jumped up from his seat and others followed, clapping their hands.
After Claire bowed down to hug him, he lifted her up, and the guests cheered.
“Kiss!” Tonio exclaimed.
“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” the guests behind me chanted.
The corners of Claire’s mouth had dropped, but she obeyed. Watching them projected the image of her and Bryon before my eyes. From that day forward, I would be obliged to watch her kiss this human-sized fish and keep still. I knew I could not live in the role of a discreet mistress and regretted giving Claire a spark of hope for our own relationship.
One by one, the guests shook their hands, blessed and congratulated their engagement. I fell back onto the chair and turned to Tonio. “Did you know about this?” I asked as he seemed the most pleased.
“It was about time,” he said. “Laora doesn’t want to leave.”
“For the Lagoon?”
Tonio nodded. It was all part of the inner circle’s plans. “Don’t worry. You can still meet her,” he said, and put another piece of cake onto my plate.
Happy Birthday.
“I think I just lost my appetite.”
18. Proposal
Claire rebelled against her medicine and demanded to postpone her wedding because I failed to visit her.
“I don’t feel well, seeing you with him.”
“It’s just a play,” she said, but it didn’t matter to me.
When I distanced myself from her, she threatened to call off the engagement and her condition worsened, followed by hysteria and meltdowns.
I obeyed, again. Otherwise, I would have crossed Tonio’s plans and caused more problems for everyone involved. I kept our relationship innocent and refrained from kissing her or staying overnight.
After Doctor Di Centi had seen my certificates, he offered an internship in his apothecary. I accepted and began spending my free days with Tonio.
Together, we worked on potions and Claire’s medicine. With the next bottle, it would be me who suppressed her Oracle eye. During family dinners, I appreciated my seat beside him. We sank into our conversations, ignoring everyone else. It was not unusual that we would talk until we found ourselves alone with the table wiped clean and the last candle burning.
Before the summer break, grandfather’s words reached me through the Doctor, who received an answer to his marriage proposal. My letter was sealed, but Evrett’s face gave away enough information. After he hugged me, he insisted on moving the idea into existence.
Now I would definitely run away to Gerogy, I thought, but when I opened his letter and skipped through it, my knees collapsed.
‘Light of my life,
There has been no better news than your safe arrival and Evrett’s proposal.
You make an excellent pair, he told me and I can’t wait to receive more news, about my great-grandchild. I hope you accustomed well into that lifestyle and appreciate the outstanding chances this family has to offer. We must fuse blood, it’s non-negotiable.
Our God answered my prayers and informed me you might possess Vanna’s grimoire. I urge you to give it to him, so he can bring it to me after you have thoroughly studied it. Try to handle it discreetly. You can regard this matter with the utmost importance, without forgetting to form an alliance.
There was never a doubt of you being a Mage, remember you’re a Volkov and make me proud, light of my life.’
I began wondering if he used my curiosity as a tool for his own plans or if he thought this were my own wishes. He was too obsessed with the grimoire and my trust in him crumbled. The tingle in my fingers left me no peace since I wanted to find it for myself. I’d regained the ability to smell the Underworld, but it was not enough to find the grimoire, no matter how hard I tried.
At night, I would sneak out to feed the wolfess and her pups. They’d grown quite big and would soon leave the den to fight for themselves. I should’ve followed their example.
Meanwhile, Claire’s condition worsened. She began whispering about her dreams and conspiracy theories, giving away signs of the Oracle eye breaking through. She was on her way to finding out the truth, and I could not forgive myself for poisoning her gift.
During summer break, I moved to the mansion and worked at the apothecary where I received a salary beyond belief. I was entrusted with healing Claire, as she demanded to talk to me, and only me.
My heart ached when I watched her throw up the medicine and advised her to pretend that she used it, while I searched for other options. I even brought her my precious stash of Sosden, which she smoked through a pipe and took long naps afterwards. It had proven itself as a short-term solution until she began suffering from nightmares that woke everyone inside the manor. I could not look at her semi-conscious face without shedding a tear while she blabbed her words in the wrong order or confused the syllables. Most of the time, she didn’t talk at all.
One day, she pulled on my arm with her eyes ripped open. “You died,” she whispered. “I’ve seen it.” Which I took for another attempt to keep me close.
Walking down and up the hill was replaced by strolling at the harbour and hoping to see Deg’s ship again, but I never did. At least I had enough time overthinking my choices while I stared at the waves.
Pleasing every party tore me apart, I had to put an end to it.
Who was I kidding? I couldn’t heal Claire, neither with magic nor witchcraft, and it pushed me to the one last option I despised. This time I stepped over my pride. She didn’t deserve to suffer, and I put her to sleep with a strong tranquilliser before smoking her room with rosemary.
After advising Loyra to close her windows as soon as it all vanished, I made my way to the night tower with a new chalice and a bottle of wine in my hands.
19. Black Magic
“I will do whatever it takes to find the grimoire,” I had chanted for an hour and tried summoning Veymor. Perhaps he enjoyed my despair and would let me chant until I collapsed.
Not if I would cut my hand and let the wine turn red. I took off my dress and covered myself in blood, attempting to descend.
Veymor appeared between my legs as soon as he got wind of it. “Looky-look, who crawls back,” he said, “begging me.”
“Save it. I need your help.”
“I see, but this time it costs you.”
I sighed, I had known or else I would not have called him. He was the very last option I had. “Whatever it takes,” I said and he flew with me onto my mattress.
Carefully, he licked my wound, healed it and I had to confess that he had made me feel comfortable with him, though he was not always gentle.
Ever since I saw Claire with Bryon, I’d lost my libido. I failed to answer Tonio’s flirts, never got in the mood, and therefore suspected Veymor of cursing me.
This would be an act of service and I had to endure it, if I liked it or not. He made me repeat his prayers every hour. After those, waves of lightning rushed through my legs and I had to clench my knees, almost screaming out loud. Nonetheless, Veymor continued. His hunger lasted till sunrise. By the end, I couldn’t move, my lap pulsated and my limbs ached at every turn.
While I laid still, he rummaged through my herbs and started crunching them in the mortar until it became a paste.
“Open your mouth,” he said and smeared the paste under my tongue before holding my lips shut with his hand. It had stung and burned until my tongue cramped and my body began forcing it out. “Keep calm and don’t swallow it.”
I tried to fight against it but found myself paralysed, unable to lift my arms and scratch him away.
He mumbled in a foreign language, perhaps the language of Gods.
The paste shot through my nostrils along with spit and he pinched my nose.
“You’re almost there. Don’t give up on me now.”
Verra of Wolves Page 10