While leaving the house Elizabeth had bent her steps towards Oakham mount. This was where she could always be found, pacing around and sorting out her thoughts. This morning had been no different in that regard. In fact her feet had taken the route without her consciously deciding that was where she was headed. Indeed before her mother had waylaid her she had intended to walk in the opposite direction across the fields towards Netherfield Park. This would be one of the last opportunities she had to walk some of those beautiful grounds before the tenants of Netherfield took possession and Elizabeth would have to walk in other directions. Where today had been different, though was that for days her senses had been telling her that there was a stranger who needed her help. She didn’t yet know how to help this person, and so had shrugged it off as possibly being a reflection of her own problems and that she herself needed help. This morning through her own distress and worry she felt that she had to go and try to help this person. Unaware how to help a stranger was a new experience for Elizabeth and increased her own insecurities, as she felt as if at least one of her gifts were failing her right when she needed them most. As usual, she listened to her instincts and bent her steps toward the beauty spot. Never had she left a person to suffer, and now was not the time to start, even if she didn’t know what to do she would listen and go to this desperate stranger.
Elizabeth didn’t see anyone on Oakham Mount until she came to the top of the mount. The strange man had managed to find one of the few shielded seats, and there had managed to fold his tall frame into what appeared to a very small ball. Her first instinct was to turn and leave him to his very private musings, however, something was physically pulling her towards the hunched and broken man. Again listening to her instincts she slowly approached and heard him muttering over and over again, "Why? Why? Why?" Not knowing what to say to this tortured man, she chose not to say anything and instead did what she felt compelled to do and just wrapped her arms around him. What possessed her to dispense with propriety, or to do such a thing she could not say, it just felt right like - Destiny.
Despite all of the attempts of the Blessed since Christopher Bennet’s prophecy to prevent it, everything was now in place.
Prophecy was about to be fulfilled!
CHAPTER FIVE
Anguish has its way
Darcy didn't know how long he had been sitting on Oakham Mount, nor did he immediately realise where he was. He had become lost in the quagmire of guilt and frustrations. When Miss Elizabeth's arms came around him, he tensed up and then slowly relaxed accepting the quiet comfort that she offered. It didn't take long before he turned around in her arms to return the silent gesture. He did not question why this unknown young lady had wrapped her arms around him, nor had he questioned as to who she was or from where she had come. To him she was an angel, sent to aid in his distress. The moment their eyes met, he was taken aback by the intelligence he saw, combined with a sparkle that spoke of an enjoyment of life. Looking further he saw an answering hurt and need but also saw the empathy that she had for him. He revelled in it. Here was a stranger who didn't know him, didn't know what his estate was worth, but merely, silently offered comfort that he so desperately needed. She saw him, the lonely desperate man, and at that moment he loved her. Love. He wanted to marry for love. Love. He could not say he was in love, but this was love all the same. The word love resonated all through his brain and body. Love... Love... Love...
Miss Elizabeth was not unaffected when she put her arms round him. It was an innocent gesture born of her caring nature, a nature that couldn't bear to see people suffer and hurt. Something was different about this man. No words were spoken, yet she knew that his initial reaction was not a rejection of her, nor of what she offered by that simple gesture. He seemed unused to such gestures. It briefly went through her mind to wonder when he was last hugged when he last allowed himself to be vulnerable. Slowly he turned in her arms, what she saw in his eyes as he met hers took her breath away. Hurt, betrayal, guilt, sorrow. Instantly she knew that this man needed just what she had done, and so much more. He needed someone just to see him. Slowly her heart melted. Her vow of marrying for love floated through her mind, but that was pushed to the back of her mind. One word kept floating through her mind love… this man needed love. Yes, at that moment she could say she loved him, not in the romantic sense this seemed deeper, a connection of sorts. A much more stable and reliable love... Love, why did it seem so important right now? Why was it that one single word was going round in her mind? Being a curious person she wanted the answer, but the answer would have to wait until later.
Love. One single shared conscious thought love.
Neither one wanted to break the spell that had come over them as their eyes met, this was beyond words. Words would come, slowly, later. Without knowing or realising what they were doing, they slowly moved towards each other, closer, closer. It felt as if they couldn't get close enough. Then their lips met. It was gentle at first but slowly deepened, as they gave more of themselves. Both gave, both took. Two lost, and lonely souls met. She hadn't realised she needed this reassurance, this respite from the cruel world around her and he slowly received the affection and comfort that came from a close contact to another, something he desperately needed. Their kisses grew ever deeper, and passion flared. Hands roamed, they took from, and gave to each other without thought of consequences, society, or expectations, now was not the time to think of such, this moment was all that mattered. This moment, for now, they were simply a man and a woman, nothing else mattered. When it was that he had laid her on the ground neither could say, and their actions only vaguely registered as they slowly made love. Afterwards, he rolled onto his back and lay next to her as they continued to hold each other. It felt wonderful. It was destiny.
Eventually, Darcy spoke. It was painful and yet it felt so good, to tell Elizabeth his history. Darcy’s first twelve years had seemed almost perfect. His parents had both loved and spoiled him. For twelve years he had been their only child. He loved his sister, who had been born twelve years after himself, and he had loved looking after her and spending time in the nursery with her. Darcy remembered how calm and ordered the nursery had always felt. While there he could forget the trials of the world and that his mother had never quite regained her full strength after his sisters birth. Reliving his sisters fifth birthday was painful. He remembered keeping his sister busy with the hot chocolate and cake so as she wouldn’t notice that their mother had become completely wet through and shivered uncontrollably. It had been Darcy that whisked his sister quickly back to the nursery once they got back to Pemberley, making sure that Georgiana was not affected by his mothers condition. They had thought it only to be a heavy cold to begin with, but it soon became clear that it was pneumonia and three days later their mother was dead. George Darcy never recovered from Lady Anne’s death, and followed her into the grave five years later, following an apoplexy that had meant Darcy took over the running of Pemberley two years before his father’s death.
Darcy’s guilt over Wickham was tremendous. His father had taught him that they had a responsibility to the servants and those who worked for them. A responsibility that Darcy felt keenly. As boys Wickham and he had been almost inseparable. Sometimes Wickham had pulled Darcy into some childish pranks, but more often than not Darcy had been a calming influence on Wickham and the two spent many happy days in each other’s company. When Wickham had first become conscious of their difference in standing he was not sure, but Wickham’s jealousy had become apparent when the boys were twelve and Darcy began spending more and more time with his sister in the nursery or more time studying when at school. Slowly Wickham had become more and more wild and uncontrollable. At school Wickham became involved in a rough group of boys. Darcy felt as though it was his responsibility to have been there more for Wickham than he was. Eventually the morals of the two boys were such that any remaining loyalty to each other was lost and all Darcy felt was a sense of guilt, as if he had been responsible
for Wickham’s immoral behaviour. Eventually Darcy told Elizabeth about what had happened in Ramsgate just last month and how guilty he felt over that too.
Having opened up so far, he could not seem to close the floodgates and he found himself telling her about running Pemberley (his beautiful estate), it's burdens and joys, and about how the Ton was insincere, his struggles in society because all they saw was pounds, shillings and pence and not the man behind it. All his concerns came tumbling out, and his tears never stopped. Miss Elizabeth just silently listened. It was cathartic, it was powerful, and it frightened him as he struggled with his emotions — emotions so carefully held behind a stoic mask, for so long. A life of feeling was an unknown to him. His life was all about control, and this was definitely out of his control. Eventually, he returned to silence and still just held Miss Elizabeth.
At length, Miss Elizabeth spoke "Sir, you are NOT to blame! Others are culpable not you" his face registered surprise so she clarified "Nobody can predict the future sir, only God can do that. He chooses to reveal some things to certain people, but no human can on their own predict the future! The companion's references looked excellent you had no reason to doubt them. I'm sure that many older and more experienced parents would have been taken in by them. Further, when you take into your home a stranger you cannot know every association they have. That she had a prior connection with the rake could not have been known to you. As for the rake himself - why would you destroy your sister's innocence? You could not know that he would be so full of revenge and evil that he would target your sister. You, sir, do not know his plans or movements. It is good that you kept your sister innocent of such things. You did your part in continuing to instil good principles in your sister after your parents died. I do not blame your sister either!" At this, she let out a slight hollow laugh and then continued "I'm sorry my laugh was that had it been my sister Lydia, the situation would have been much worse. She's so wilful and devious that she would not have informed my father of the plans had he arrived earlier than expected. It is to the credit of your sister and you that the plans were immediately revealed to you. It shows that she was not willingly flouting proper principles, but that she had poor guidance from the woman in charge of her care. Fifteen is an awkward age for a young lady, she's neither fully grown nor is she a child. She's struggling to find her way in a confusing world."
"Thank you for your confidence, but if this should get abroad, it would severely affect her chances of marrying well, and my reputation also. The society in which I move — my sister is not yet out, is such that a woman's reputation is often damaged by things that are much less severe than this. In some cases, only looking at a chap in the wrong way has led to vicious rumours that have ruined a girl's reputation" he replied. "I, I failed to protect her. I fear the gossip will swirl. I wish, no want, us both to be able to marry our soulmates. I want us to marry for love."
Up until this point they had both been staring up at the sky, but at this Elizabeth rolled onto her side and leant up to look straight into his eyes "You, sir, did everything you could! Short of locking her in her rooms, there is no way that you could have done more!" His only response was to tighten his arms around her. "Where is your sister now sir?"
Surprised at this question, he answered: "She is with her Aunt and Uncle at Matlock."
"Why is she not here with you?" Elizabeth queried.
"I have no experience with young girls and know not how to help her. She was so heartbroken after Ramsgate, and I blame myself so much for it, that we didn't talk. I could not handle the situation. Every time she was in the room, I felt as if my anger and guilt were magnified a hundredfold. I suspect that Georgie blames herself. She just cries all day, and I'm afraid I was just snapping at her. Eventually, I asked my Aunt and Uncle Matlock to help with Georgie. My Aunt has been helping her more than I could."
"Oh dear, that seems awfully cold to me. All your sister needs from you is a hug; words can come later. Let her cry. She needs to know you don't blame her."
"I could write a letter for her to come to me. However, I'd rather that she come when my friend is in possession of the estate for which he’s just signed the lease. I'd rather not have her stay at an inn." What followed was a rather broad canvassing of the Bingleys, why Darcy was out on Oakham Mount in such distress and the benefits and drawbacks of Netherfield Park. By the time they stopped talking, the day had drawn on and the morning was almost spent. Time, however, was not what recalled them to the outside world, but rather the rumbling of their stomachs.
"Another reason for my mother to berate me" Elizabeth muttered under her breath, and then louder said "I'm sorry I must hurry home, my mother will wonder what has become of me. Although it is rare that I am looked for, it is unusual for me not to go home for breakfast, or to stay out the whole day."
"Promise me you'll come back tomorrow, please," he asked. His desperation to spend more time with her was palpable.
"I promise, sir. However, tomorrow there is a gathering at Lucas Lodge in the evening, so I will not be able to stay out so late."
“All right. Until tomorrow then Miss..." He hesitated in the hope that she would give away her name, but instead, she just laughed "until tomorrow, sir."
Arriving home, Elizabeth was shocked to find that not only had she not been missed by anybody, but that an unexpected guest had arrived. She crept up to her room and freshened up, before seeking out her eldest sister, Jane. Elizabeth smiled to herself, this should be interesting. Her Father, Thomas Bennet, had a younger sister after whom Elizabeth had been named. Her Aunt Elizabeth Bennet was not spoken about much any more due to the way in which her husband had forced their marriage. Elizabeth knew little about old Mr Collins but since her cousin Mr William Collins had arrived Elizabeth thought that she would find out a bit more now about her aunt.
Entering the parlour Elizabeth struggled to keep a straight face. Mr Collins was a rather odd and eccentric man. Longbourne, the Bennet home, was entailed on Mr Collins and he made no efforts to hide his consequent interest in the house and it’s contents. In fact he had more interest in that than he did about getting to know his cousins. Being in immediate need of pecuniary advancement, not having inherited much from his late father, Mr Collins had decided to make the church his profession. As a person, he was pompous, arrogant and carried an unusual blend of sanctimoniousness while trying to hide these negative traits under a degree of false humility. He was constantly talking about Lady Catherine De Bourgh, his noble patroness to whom it seemed that the living he was in possession of belonged. Every sentence contained his noble patronesses opinion or decrees. Not one original thought proceeded from his mouth. Mary, the one to whom he seemed most suited, had already given up talking to him, as none of his conversation included The Bible or Fordyce's sermons. Kitty and Lydia were outside in the garden. Thus it had left the empty-headed Mrs Bennet and poor Jane Bennet to bear the entirety of Mr Collins attentions. Jane took it with a degree of serenity, as was her want. However no matter how serene Jane was even she had her limits of how much she could take. Elizabeth knowing that her temperament was to laugh at the ridiculous spent only a few minutes in the parlour with her mother and Jane before she sought her father to while away the time before dinner.
Meanwhile Mrs Bennet was congratulating herself on her plans coming together. She saw Mr. Collins attentions as a sure sign that she would have her eldest child off her hands soon, a situation that would be further improved by the fact that she would not have to leave Longbourne, and given Jane's tractability, she was fairly confident the mistresses rooms would remain hers also. It would not be until retiring to bed that Elizabeth could get to talk to Jane. She was confident also that Elizabeth had been dealt with now, and that soon she would be able to look forward to to rest of her life with equanimity.
***
Darcy was not so lucky on his return to the inn, where he was staying. Almost immediately the cloyingly sweet voice of Caroline Bingley hit him, which was not so m
uch of a surprise as he felt sure that Miss Bingley would be lying in wait for him. The surprise was that she was not trying to charm him. Miss Bingley had not even noticed his arrival. Right there in the tap-room, sat a handsome gentleman who, if looks alone could be trusted, would be worth as much if not more than Darcy, although the man's face was obscured. Taking this as a good omen, Darcy moved past the couple and went straight to his rooms to freshen up, after which he went to find Mr Bingley.
Mr Bingley was a happy man, whose father had made the family fortune in trade, and when Darcy came upon him, he was talking to a bombastic gentleman. Introductions were made, and Darcy was invited to join the gentlemen. The gentleman Mr Bingley was talking to was Sir William Lucas, who didn't stay much longer citing an errand from Lady Lucas that he was expected to do. Upon departing, he invited the gentlemen to Dinner at Lucas Lodge the following day. Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy both immediately accepted and Sir William went on his way. It wasn't until later in the evening that Darcy remembered that the young lady had mentioned that she was engaged to dine out tomorrow night and wondered if it is was the same engagement.
The Meryton War Page 4