by K. C. Crowne
“Yes, I’m afraid he’s in a lot of trouble now. Lisa and Shane are being charged with robbing a convenience store that led to the death of the manager working that evening.”
My heart stopped. Dammit, Shane. It was one thing to get caught stealing. It was another to kill a person.
“I’m so, so sorry to hear that, Ms. Peters. My brother and I, we haven’t spoken in years though, so I’m not sure how I can be of any help. I don’t plan on bailing him out or anything.”
“I understand. He told us you two didn’t talk much, but said you were the best person to call about his daughters.”
“His daughters?” Shane had kids? Talk about one hell of a bad decision, considering the guy couldn’t even take care of himself most of the time.
“Yes, Mr. McDowell. He has two daughters, Abigail and Emma. Abigail is two years old, and Emma is nine months.”
I let out a low whistle, shaking my head. Those poor girls, I thought. They’re gonna end up in the system because my brother was too stupid and too selfish to be a father. I knew that he didn’t have the best role model. Neither of us had; just a drunk da who couldn’t handle our ma’s death and forced us to leave our home in Ireland to come to the States when I was in high school. At least I had the sense not to damn any children to the kind of shitty upbringing Shane and I had.
“What’s gonna happen to the girls?” I asked.
“Well, since you’re next of kin - and the only family they have left - I’m calling to ask if you’d be open to taking them in. There’s a process for adoption and—”
“No, no way. Nope. I can’t take those girls,” I said, pushing away from the truck. I was still drunk off my ass, but I had the common sense to know a bad idea when I heard it.
“Alright, Mr. McDowell, I understand. Right now, they’re in a group home until we can find placement for them.”
The words “group home” flashed in my mind, bringing back memories that I had tried to push far, far away. A time when my da was thrown in jail for a bar fight after climbing into a bottle to deal with his grief. Shane and I had been put in a group home with about a half dozen other kids around our age. I closed my eyes and could still smell the sickly-sweet lavender. From the outside, everything had looked perfect. Social workers would come often, and the foster parents would smile and dote upon us kids. But we were nothing but a check to them. As soon as the social worker left, old Frank would be his mean self, telling us to get back to our rooms. We weren’t allowed outside the room except at dinner time. It was only for two months until my dad got out of jail, but two months had been long enough.
I knew that not all homes were the same, and my brother and I just had crap luck in life. But the thought of any child going through what we did… I couldn’t bear it.
“Wait,” I said, my eyes popping open. “How long would they have to stay with me? I mean, if you were to find them a family willing to adopt?”
“It just depends, honestly,” Ms. Peters said. “I can’t make any promises, but I can say that they are young enough that I don’t think they would have a problem getting adopted.”
I couldn’t believe the next words out of my mouth. I would have blamed it on the liquor, but by that point, I felt as sober as ever.
“I’ll do it. Just temporarily,” I qualified. “Just tell me what I need to do.”
Chapter 2
Alex
“And what did the volcano say to the island?” I asked, turning the page of the book. I looked at the small group of toddlers, children, and parents who joined me, all of them familiar faces.
The oldest kid in the group read out the answer from the page before I could. “I lava you!” He rolled on his back, laughing as if it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard.
“Yes, Timothy! Very good!”
I remembered a time when Timothy was still in diapers. His mother would bring him to these reading groups to listen and socialize with the other kids. Watching him grow into a little boy that loved reading brought me so much joy.
I closed the book and glanced at my two boys, who grinned back at me and giggled when they saw me looking their way. I made a silly face, and Jacob’s rumbly laughter filled the room. Ah, yes, there really was no greater happiness than a child’s laughter, and I was lucky to be surrounded by it every day, and not just when I was at work.
My best friend, Rachel, held Lucas in her lap with Jacob sitting beside them.
As soon as I finished with the group, I rushed over to my boys and best friend. I grabbed Jacob in my arms and hugged him tightly as he giggled. I kissed his adorable cheeks as his hands tangled in my hair. His toothy grin nearly made my heart explode with love. But I couldn’t forget his brother, oh no. I traded Rachel and greeted Lucas the same way as he playfully batted at my face and laughed until his face turned red.
“Want me to stick around while you finish up?” Rachel asked.
“I just need to grab my stuff and we can go home.”
“I was thinking - maybe we should grab something at the diner tonight. My treat.”
I side-eyed her. “I can pay for myself and the boys, but sure, if you’d like to grab some food out tonight, I’m okay with that.”
“Awesome. Because after the test I had this week, I’m in no mood to cook, and I’d hate to eat out alone.”
I grabbed my bag and waved at my coworker at the front desk as Rachel and I left the library. I had Lucas while she carried Jacob.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Rach,” I said as I finished buckling a squirrely Lucas into his seat. “I don’t think I could wrangle these two boys alone.”
“I get as much out of our arrangement as you do, Alex,” she said with a smile on her face.
She popped into the driver’s seat of her car and I got in on the other side.
Our arrangement was mutually beneficial, of course. She got a free place to stay, I got someone to help me raise the twins, and we both loved the boys more than life itself. Rachel was a lot like me – we’d always loved kids, so it made sense that I was a children’s librarian, and she was finishing school to become an elementary school teacher.
Two peas in a pod, which is probably why we’d been friends since I moved to Liberty a few years earlier.
We pulled up outside the diner, and Rachel took Jacob as I got Lucas. We sat down at the table, and she grabbed two highchairs while I stayed put with the boys. I really didn’t know what I’d do without her.
After the boys were in the chairs, she slipped into the booth across from me with a grin on her face.
“What’s that look about?” I asked as I perused the menu.
“Oh, nothing. I’m just thinking how nice it is to see you out of the house,” she said. “You only seem to leave for work and errands, but we need to get you out more.”
“I’m fine,” I laughed. “After last night, I think I got my fill of leaving the house.”
Her face fell. “That bad, huh?”
I groaned and playfully rolled my eyes. “The worst. I don’t know how I ever let you talk me into trying Tinder. The guy never showed up, by the way.”
“I’m sorry. Men are pigs.”
“And yet you constantly try to get me to date one,” I said. “I don’t understand it.”
“Because I know you’ll be lonely when I’m gone.”
“Don’t ever leave me, please?” I teased. I reached across the table and took her hands in mine. “I mean it. Why can’t the two of us just get a cute little lake house and retire there, no men needed?”
Rachel giggled. “Because as much as I love you, things are looking really, really good with Scott. I really see a future for us.”
Rachel had been dating Scott for the last six months, and as much as it pained me to think about losing my best friend and roomie, I was happy that she was so happy.
“He’s a good guy, Rach.” And in my heart, I knew it - my best friend had found “The One”.
“I just want you to find a good gu
y, too,” she said. “Someone to help you, but also to take care of your needs.”
I tossed a straw wrapper at her. “Shut up. I don’t need anything besides my boys and best friend.”
She offered a crooked grin and a knowing look. Because we both knew she was right. I had needs. Womanly needs. It had been way too long since I’d had sex, and I hated to admit, but I missed it.
“You know the boys come first, though, and honestly, after last night, I couldn’t imagine dating a man that thought a bar was a suitable place for a first date anyway. Everyone there was just so... well, so not me.”
Felicity, the owner of the diner, wandered over and took our order, and I was grateful for the change of subject. I didn’t want to talk about my night at the bar.
“So it was that bad, huh? You didn’t see anyone you liked?” Rachel asked as soon as Felicity stepped away.
“I wasn’t even looking, to be honest. No one there was my type. Can you believe some guy with an Irish accent actually called me beautiful? Just waltzed right up, drunk off his ass, and thought it was a good idea to come out the gates with that sleazy talk.”
“Well, I mean, you are beautiful, Alex. He was just stating a fact.”
My cheeks flushed. “Even if I am, that is not how you approach a woman.”
“Was he hot at least?” Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, you said he’s Irish.”
“Was he hot? He was a pig, Rachel,” I said, distracting myself by giving the boys the sippy cups of milk Felicity had dropped off.
“You didn’t answer my question.” Rachel’s lips pulled into a coy smile.
“Was he physically attractive? I mean, yeah, I guess.” Very much so, but I wasn’t going to say that part out loud. “But his personality was repulsive.”
“Did you talk to him for longer than two minutes, or are you basing this off the fact that he called you beautiful?” she teased.
“I’m basing it off how I would want my sons to treat a woman. If they ever walked up to one and insinuated that she was nothing but a pretty object to be looked at, I’d be disappointed in them.”
Rachel held her hands up in defeat. “Alright, if you don’t like the guy, you don’t like the guy.”
“I never said I didn’t like him. I didn’t like the way he talked to me.” I was backtracking. “Besides, he was too good looking, if you know what I mean. And likely only looking for a hookup. I’m not interested in all that. I’m a mom. I have to think about my boys.”
“Moms have a right to happiness too, you know.”
“I doubt that a guy I met in a bar is going to bring me happiness,” I said. “Besides, we both know how I can be. I meet a guy, we fall in love, and we get married within a year. And next thing I know, I’m divorced with two kids because I didn’t know the man as well as I thought I did.”
“Alex…” She sighed. “You know it doesn’t have to be like that, right? Charlie was a douche, but you can take things slow. You can even have a casual thing for a while. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to some happiness.”
I knew she was right, yet… I was scared of actually putting myself out there. What if I fell head-over-heels again, and the boys got attached and the guy just left me again?
“I don’t know. I just don’t trust myself, I guess. Besides, I don’t drink alcohol anyway, so anyone I meet at a bar is instantly incompatible. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I turned to my boys. Jacob had milk on his chin while Lucas was trying to reach for Rachel’s glass. She moved the glass out of his reach and put the sippy cup in his hand instead. I reached for a napkin and wiped Jacob’s face, causing him to fuss and try to pull away.
“Thank God the food is on the way,” I said, both because the boys were getting fussy and because it would allow me to change the subject.
“Speaking of Charlie, have you heard from him lately?”
“Rachel, you’re on a roll with talking about everything I’d rather not talk about today, I swear.”
“Sorry,” she said and cringed as if she meant.
“It’s okay,” I said with a sigh. “And no, I haven’t heard from him in months. Last I heard, him and Tessa—”
“You mean the witch who shall not be named,” Rachel growled.
I laughed. “You know, I have to be civil, and around the boys, it would be best if I called her by her real name. Since Charlie is legally their father, he has rights to see the boys still.”
“I don’t understand why he doesn’t just relinquish his rights. It’s clear he has no desire to be a father to them.”
Honestly, I’d asked myself the same question so many times over the last year. His main reason for leaving was that he couldn’t see himself as a father, a decision he made only after we had adopted the boys. He’d told me I was the one who wanted kids, not him, and he thought he could handle it, but the reality was, he just couldn’t.
Of course, it had complicated matters since of all the people he could run away with, he chose the boys’ birth mother.
“I have a feeling Tessa is involved in that decision somehow,” I said slowly.
“Hence she’s a witch.”
I feared what she was cooking underneath the surface. Tessa had been a friend of ours, having grown up with Rachel here in Liberty. When she got pregnant after a one-night stand, she mentioned putting the baby up for adoption since she had no desire to be a mother. I had always wanted to be a mom, but we were struggling getting pregnant, so it seemed like a message from God. And when we found out she was expecting twins, it was even better, in my opinion. If I couldn’t have kids of my own, at least our adopted children would have a sibling to grow up with. I was ecstatic, and it made Tessa even more eager to sign over her rights.
However, I got the feeling she regretted that decision… which was where Charlie came into play. He had legal rights to see the boys as their adopted father.
Our food came, and thankfully, it allowed me to push all of that from my mind. Rachel and I each fed one of the boys, while trying to eat our own meals. Never easy when you have eighteen-month-olds throwing their food around and trying to grab everything in sight, but we always managed to make it work when we were together.
She would make a hell of a mother one day. And I knew, no matter what, she would always be in the boy’s lives. We were, after all, family.
“Thanks for helping me put the boys to bed, but I can finish from here.”
Rachel had more midterms to study for, and I didn’t want to keep her. Our arrangement worked for both of us - she could finally go back to school for her dream career while living with me rent-free, but I made sure she never neglected her schoolwork in favor of helping me with the boys. I paid her for the hours I was at work, and even though she insisted on helping outside of that, I tried not to abuse her kindness.
“Thanks, Alex,” she said, giving my arm a squeeze as she slipped from the boys’ nursery.
Jacob was already passed out; he was usually the easiest to get to sleep. He also didn’t nap as long as Lucas during the day. Lucas, on the other hand, would fight sleep until the bitter end. Tonight had been no different, but his eyes slowly closed. I waited until his breathing was steady to slip from the room.
It was closing in on nine p.m. and I was exhausted. However, considering that I’d be up at six to take care of them and get ready for work, I knew that I needed to cherish the little time I did have to myself - even if I didn’t have the energy to do much outside of watching Netflix and scrolling Facebook.
I changed into my comfiest pajamas - a pair of old shorts with elastic that had worn out over the years and a college t-shirt with a couple of stains and holes. Not the sexiest attire, but who was I trying to impress?
I climbed into bed and started Netflix, resuming the last episode of the sitcom I barely even paid attention to while it was on. It was mostly background noise.
I pulled up my Facebook group - Adoptive and Foster Parents of
Liberty Utah and Surrounding Areas. We were a small group of people, but it helped to have a network of folks going through some of the same challenges I was. My admin had accepted a new member, and I previewed his post before accepting it in the group.
Hello everyone. I don’t know where to start. Tonight, I found out that I’m going to be taking in two girls - my nieces - for a bit, until we can figure out something better. I have no experience with kids, and I have no idea what I’m doing. They are two years old and nine months old. What should I do to get my house ready for them? I have a spare bedroom, thankfully, but absolutely nothing for children or a baby. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
I approved it and hopped on the post to welcome him.
Welcome, Liam! I’m sure this is a scary time for you. I’m so glad you found our little group. I’m sure other members will have some great advice for you, but first things first - let’s talk about what you’re going to need. I’ll link some great resources below that talk about what children of those ages need. It’s great that they will have their own room, and I’m sure other members can lend you items they may no longer be using. My sons are still young, and I have given away all their baby stuff already, but if I come across anything, I will let you know. What you’re doing is beautiful, by the way, and my heart goes out to both you and your nieces. Don’t hesitate to ask if you need help with anything.
I included the links I mentioned and hit submit. I was in the middle of responding to another post when I got a notification for a reply from Liam. I finished what I was doing and went back to the post.
Thank you, Alex! Those links were very helpful. So do you think I’ll need a car seat for each girl? Do two-year-old’s still need car seats? I have no idea what I’m doing LOL My parents let us sit on their laps as kids, but I want to make sure I do everything right.
A smile pulled at my lips. What a sweet guy… Not many men would be willing to take in two nieces on the spur of the moment, and that he cared so much about car seat safety was a sign of a good man.