by K. C. Crowne
Poor thing. She was so tired. They really have been through a lot, I thought.
I grabbed a blanket and draped it over her and let her sleep on the couch. Emma was also growing tired, and as I walked through the house, holding her in my arms, her eyes started to close.
It was getting pretty late. I hoped that Emma wasn’t going to bed with an empty stomach, but even if I had wanted to feed her, the poor girl wouldn’t have stayed awake for it. I put her down in the crib I had set up in the spare room and went back for Abigail. I’d also picked up a toddler’s bed, which was set up in the same room as Emma's crib. I carried the girl into the room and laid her down, covering her up and tucking her in.
I couldn’t blame them for being exhausted. Hell, I was exhausted, and I couldn’t recall a time I was this tired before midnight in a long ass time. I checked the time; it was just after seven.
I left the door open just a gap and returned to the living room. Collapsing onto the couch, I grabbed my phone and typed a message to Alex. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this. It’s only day one and I’m pooped.
His message popped up a second later.
Welcome to parenthood. You’re doing just fine.
Chapter 4
Alex
I don’t feel like I’m doing fine. The baby went down without dinner. What if she’s hungry? And did I feed the toddler enough?
I found myself smiling at his questions. Here was a man who was genuinely trying. He was so concerned for the well-being of these girls whom he had only met a few hours before, and it warmed my heart after everything I’d been through with Charlie.
I had a general rule of not looking at the profiles of those who joined, especially the men. I felt like there needed to be some distance between us. And to also not judge a book by its cover, which was the reason I had a picture of a cat for my profile picture. I didn’t want creepy men messaging me to flirt. But I found myself curious - what did this Liam McDowell look like?
So I broke my rule and clicked on his profile. I expanded his profile pic and my heart skipped a beat once I made out the image. Was he skydiving?
I had a severe fear of heights, and even the picture made the adrenaline rush through my veins. He was literally flying through the air, all by himself, giving a thumbs up to whoever had a camera. With the goggles and his gear, I couldn't get a clear view of what he looked like, and I already felt bad snooping. I quickly closed out of it before I dug for more photos. It was none of my business what he looked like.
I went back to our message and responded to him.
If the baby gets hungry in the night, she’ll let you know, trust me. You said she ate some mashed banana and had a bottle before you picked her up, so she’s probably fine at the moment. And the same for the toddler. If she ate until she was finished, she’s probably fine - though be prepared for her to wake you up bright and early.
His response surprised me a bit.
Thank you, man. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
Man? I raised an eyebrow at the term but brushed it off. Some people called everyone man, just like dude or guys.
You should sleep too. Like I said, they will probably be up early, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a parent - it’s that you sleep when they sleep.
Liam’s message popped up.
You know, I’ve never been one to go to bed this early before. I’m usually a night owl or out with the guys. But I think I might heed your advice and try to sleep.
Hearing that he was about to log off for the night left me feeling a bit disappointed, even though I knew it was wrong. I enjoyed talking to Liam more than I should. Seeing someone who cared so much for the children even though he didn’t have to… I had to admit, I was a bit enamored with the guy.
Which was even more reason for me to step away and try and keep my distance.
Yes, I should listen to my own advice and get some sleep as well. Good night Liam.
Good night Alex.
I’d meant what I said about heeding my own advice and turned off the television. Even though my body was tired, my brain wasn’t prepared to shut off, however. I curled up in bed, but not before I pulled out my favorite toy from the nightstand beside my bed.
Sometimes I had to clear my mind to get a little sleep, and a good old-fashioned orgasm always seemed to do the trick.
I closed my eyes as I let the vibrator tease my opening, rubbing it near my clit. A soft groan escaped my lips as my thighs spread wider.
I needed something, or someone, to think about to really bring myself to completion. Most of the time, I thought of a made-up person - someone who doesn’t exist except in my head. A perfect man, likely too perfect to even exist, but it would speed along my orgasm and get me where I needed to be.
That night, however, I had someone to focus on. Since I had no idea what Liam looked like, it couldn’t be him. Nor would it be right to think of a group member that way. No, instead, I pictured the guy that hit on me at the bar - the cocky drunk who was too hot to be real, and likely only looking for a hookup. But that accent…yum!
In my head, however, he wasn’t that egotistical ex-frat guy, but rather someone more like… Liam. Someone who was kind, gentle, and who respected women instead of seeing them as objects to be used and discarded.
I slipped the vibrator inside as I whimpered, thinking about the sexy red-headed man hovered above me, burying his cock inside me. He was so tall and large - I imagined his cock had to be pretty big; it would stretch me out and reach my inner depths. My vibrator couldn’t keep up with my fantasy, but I imagined the sensation as I buried the toy over and over again.
As my orgasm approached, I found my brain searching for a name for my nameless suitor, something to scream out. I didn’t have a chance to fully think it through, and the name that rolled off my lips came as no surprise to me - “Oh God, Liam! Yes!” I whispered into the darkness, having trained myself to be quiet.
My body shuddered as I came hard, though, and as the last wave of my orgasm rushed through me, I slid my vibrator out of my body, content and ready to sleep.
Liam. Dammit. As hard as I had tried not to think about him, there he was.
Get a hold of yourself, Alex. You can’t do this.
The guilt was there, but so was the exhaustion, and thankfully, sleep won out.
I finished setting up the chairs in a circle, facing me. I had the book ready to go - a cute story from a local author about a tiny little mouse living in Utah. Rachel and my boys were there early, sitting where they usually sat. I waved at them as I approached, so grateful that my sweet boys could see me at work almost every single day. Parents were starting to arrive with their little ones as well, but we had a few minutes before the reading would start.
From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a redheaded man. I turned quickly, my jaw dropping as the man from the bar walked into the room. His eyes landed on me, only a few feet away, and he froze. I froze too.
In his arms was a baby of less than a year wearing a pink and white outfit. At his side, a toddler in pink overalls stared up at me with large eyes and bright red hair just like her father. Her hair was short with her curls frizzy around her head and uneven, indicating someone got a little creative with the scissors when Daddy wasn’t looking.
Daddy? The guy from the bar was a father? Not just a father, but a dad to little girls?
And then I thought about my fantasy last night.
Oh God. I thought I’d never see the man again since I didn’t frequent the bars. That was the only reason it felt okay to masturbate thinking about him. My cheeks flushed red at the memory, and I wanted to run and hide.
“I’m sorry,” the man said, approaching me.
“Excuse me?” My voice didn’t sound like my own.
“For the other night. At the bar,” he said.
And I’d been hoping he didn’t recognize me. Could I cover my face? Would that look weird? I decided it would.
“Oh y
es, that. I forgot all about that,” I said, lying through my teeth, but not sure what else to say. My eyes landed on the girl next to him again. I had a hard time speaking to adults sometimes, but kids? I seemed to naturally speak their language. They were less scary. I knelt down to be at eye level with the little girl and smiled. “Hello there. And who are you?”
“Her name is Abigail,” the man said.
“I like your haircut, Abigail. Did you do that yourself?”
She looked up at her dad.
He looked down at the floor. “So, umm, yeah, I saw a flyer about some reading classes, and I thought it would be good to get the wee lasses outta the house for a bit. But I think it might be best to go after how I treated you the other night.”
“No, please, feel free to stay,” I said, though I had to look away from his beautiful blue eyes. Dammit. Why did he have to be so attractive?
“Are you sure?”
“Of course,” I said with a smile. “We’re just getting started, so take a seat.” I stood up, but my legs felt like jelly. I turned my attention to Abigail. “Do you like stories, Abigail?”
The girl nodded her head.
I picked up the book I was planning to read. “I think you’re really going to like this one today. It’s about a mouse that lives right here, not too far from us.”
Her eyes widened even more. “Mouse?”
“Mmhmm.” I showed her the cover and she reached for it. I handed her the book, and she stared at the cover for a long time, her blue eyes as vivid as her father’s.
“You have beautiful girls,” I said to him, not looking at him.
“Oh they’re—”
Before he could finish, however, Jacob let out a scream from the corner. I knew my son’s cries from anywhere, so I flipped around and walked toward Rachel.
“What is it?”
“Oh, he wanted to tear the pages out of this book and I wouldn’t let him,” Rachel laughed. She smiled at me. “Who’s the hot guy?”
My cheeks flushed. “No one,” I said. “Just another parent coming to class.”
“Uh huh, because I see the way he’s looking at you, and the way your cheeks turned bright pink when he walked in. Don’t seem like strangers to me.”
Out with it, Alex. Might as well tell her the truth. “He’s the guy who hit on me at the bar.”
Rachel peered around me as if to get a better look at him. “Dang, girl, and you turned him down?”
“You know why,” I muttered. I checked the time. “Oh look, I need to get started, we can talk about this later.”
I had no intention of talking about this later. Or ever, for that matter. I hurried back to Abigail and asked for the book back, exchanging it for a little mouse plushie instead.
She handed it to me with a sweet smile, hugging the mouse to her chest.
The entire time, I didn’t dare look at her father.
Chapter 5
Liam
I didn’t even know her name, but I was mesmerized by her. Unlike at the bar, she wore glasses today, and her long, brown hair was pulled into a high bun with tendrils falling around her beautiful face. Her big, brown eyes were so full of life, and she was clearly so much fun being around these kids. She was so good with them, a natural, and I envied that about her.
To think, the night at the bar was only a few days earlier, but suddenly I was noticing more than just how beautiful her ass looked in that tight little dress. Today she was in a pair of what most people would call “Mom” jeans and a cardigan. I almost didn’t recognize her, to be honest, but now that I was watching her read from the book, I felt stupid for thinking of her as only a beautiful woman who would be fun to hook up with.
No, if I were to do anything with this woman, it would be more than just sex. I found myself actually thinking about asking her out.
Were the girls already impacting me? Was I thinking more like a dad and less like a bachelor? Because I no longer had that desire - or the ability - to run out and find a woman at the bar to bring home. At least not for a while. But I could invite the librarian over for dinner and some wine, and for the first time in my life, that actually sounded… nice?
Get a grip, Liam, my inner devil spoke up. You know you’re not cut out for the quiet life, and it’s clear this mousy librarian won’t want to live the kind of life you do. Wild nights drinking at the bar? Skydiving? Mountain climbing? Please, she was clearly the type of woman who wanted a family and all that entailed.
Emma fussed in my arms, and I sat her on the floor after seeing other babies her age doing the same. She continued to fuss, clearly bored with story time. Abigail was intrigued with the story, her blue eyes wide as she took in every word the librarian read. I didn’t want to make her leave if she was enjoying it.
Without skipping a beat, the librarian handed me another mouse toy, similar to the one Abigail was playing with and matching the mouse in the book. She turned the page and kept on reading as if she’d had to do this countless times before.
I had to admit, I was jealous of her natural parenting ability.
I handed the toy to Emma, who gripped it in her hands before pounding it against the floor, gleefully laughing. A smile pulled at the librarian's face as she glanced at Emma, but she continued reading the story.
Dammit, that smile… it did something to me that I was ashamed to admit.
I thought about how nice it would be to kiss those soft, sweet lips of hers.
I looked away from her, focusing on the kids instead. Emma was happier now that she had something to focus on. Abigail was listening to the story. I just have to get through one book, and we can leave, I told myself. One children’s book. How long would it take?
“And the little field mouse who was once so eager for adventure found his home. With his mom, his dad, and his little brother too. Right where he belonged.”
She closed the book, and that was my cue. I picked Emma up, trying to rip the little toy mouse from her hands. She let out a scream as I went to hand it back to the librarian.
“Oh no, the kids can keep those. They were donated by the author,” she said.
It was a good thing since Abigail held onto her mouse for dear life, smothering it into her chest, and Emma was reaching for the one in my hand. I gave the mouse back to Emma, who promptly put the toy into her mouth as if to claim it officially now.
“Thanks so much,” I said, not wanting to seem unappreciative. “The story time was great. We’ll have to come back again.”
That was a lie. Yes, it was great, but I knew I couldn’t sit there and watch her read to those kids again. It brought out too many uncomfortable feelings for me - like actually wanting to ask her out on a date when I knew we would never, ever be good together.
The woman deserved a whole lot better than what I was capable of giving her.
I walked out of the room and out of the library with Abigail at my side.
“Did you have fun?”
Abigail nodded, a smile on her face.
“Good,” I said. “And you got a cute little toy out of it, too.”
She looked at her mouse with so much happiness in her eyes. She deserved something nice after the shit she’d been through the last few days.
I buckled the girls into their seats, hoping I did everything right. Just to be sure, I pulled up the directions on Google. While I was double checking that I had buckled them in securely, a message popped up from Clark.
Declan isn’t gonna last long. He’s checking out the waitress as we speak, and she’s giving him the look. I guarantee he’ll get her number before we leave the restaurant.
The car. I had forgotten about the car through all of this. I was on the verge of asking the librarian out for a real date, and I had forgotten about the bet.
I wasn’t even sure how that was possible, but I was grateful for the reminder. No, not only would the librarian and I not make a good pair, but I’d miss out on my dream car while I was at it and never live it down with the guys.
/> No way could I be the first to strike out. Declan had to be the first. Then Ezra. Then Clark. And I would be with my true soul mate - Cammy the Camaro.
Things were just too fucking crazy right now, and my focus had to be on the girls and the car. Nothing else.
After finishing with the car seats, I got in the truck and started the engine. I loved my truck. I’d worked hard to buy this beauty only a few years before, and I loved everything about it. But that Camaro was my true one and only.
I pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward home. It was time to feed the munchkins and get them ready for a nap.
I hoped it went easier than day one. I yawned, tired from being woken up at three in the morning by a hungry baby and then again at six by a hungry toddler. I couldn’t wait to take Alex’s advice and sleep when they slept.
“Come on, sweetheart,” I said, trying to urge Abigail to stop running around the living room. “I promise. Now that we cut your hair, it won’t hurt to brush it anymore.”
Emma was in the background, screaming her little lungs out. Her diaper was fresh, and she’d just had her bottle, so hunger wasn’t the issue. I assumed it was being strapped into the bouncy chair - she really didn’t like being confined at all.
My head was pounding from the screams, but I needed to make sure Abigail’s hair didn’t get knotted up again.
I stood in the middle of the room, a brush in hand as a toddler ran circles around me, screaming every time I got near her, adding to the noise in the room, and I had to wonder - how did I get there? Me? A man who had never in a million years wanted kids.
“Please, lass,” I murmured softly, pleading with the little girl as she stopped behind the couch, intending to hide from me.