by K. C. Crowne
Still, I wasn’t about to roll over that easily.
“Why are you here so early?” I asked, raising a brow.
Tessa answered again. “We wanted to stop by before you went to work and offer to take the boys for the day.”
“I’m off today, and Charlie doesn’t currently have the right to take the boys anywhere without me, so no, I’m afraid that won’t work for me.”
“Alex,” Charlie said, turning his grey eyes up to meet mine for the first time. “Even if we can’t take the boys for the day, could we at least see them, please?” He sounded sincere.
I stepped back, surprised because I never thought Charlie would ever show an interest in getting to know the boys. I thought I would be a single mom forever and had adjusted to the idea. The idea of forcing children on a man who didn’t want them didn’t sit right with me, but he was asking to see them. Again, I was reminded of my lawyer’s words.
Remain civil. Work with him. He technically still has rights.
I took a deep breath and said, “Well, they’re still asleep at the moment, but if you give me a few moments to get them ready and prepare their breakfast, then sure, you can see them.”
It was very hard to open my door to them. Charlie left and hadn’t been back in a year, and the last time I saw Tessa was before I knew she was sleeping with my husband - and before the boys were even born. She’d stayed with us the last few months of the pregnancy, and she and Charlie were fooling around under this very roof the entire time.
Part of me had hoped I would never see either of them again. But I was inviting them into my home like old times.
They stepped into the foyer, and I motioned for them to sit down. The kitchen was right off the living area, so they could see and hear me as I made some oatmeal for the boys. It was easier to prepare it before waking them up, since two kids hungry at once was often a handful in and of itself.
“So, what brings you back to Utah?” I asked dryly, trying to make nice but also wanting to know the reason for their trip. What were their motives? “Last I heard, you were in Chicago.”
“We still live there,” Tessa said, her voice relaxed like nothing had changed between us. I wasn’t sure how she could sit in my home so comfortably considering everything that had happened between us. “I just came back for my dad’s birthday.”
“Oh, okay. I thought you were estranged from them?” In better times, I might have asked about her parents. They were kind people.
“Well…I was, but my dad asked me to come back. He’s got cancer, and we don’t know how much time he has left.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Mr. Jenkins, Tessa’s father, had worked at the pharmacy in town until recently. I’d assumed he had retired. He always seemed nice, though. I often felt awkward going into the store since Tessa never told her parents she was pregnant – she’d hidden the entire pregnancy from her parents and put the boys up for adoption without them knowing, which was the main reason she’d stayed with us. So every time Mr. Jenkins complimented my sons’ adorable smiles, it made me feel bad. He had no idea he was looking at his grandchildren.
But that wasn’t my choice to make - it was Tessa’s. She told us her parents would have guilted her into keeping them, and she didn’t want that.
I finished preparing the oatmeal and walked down the hall to the nursery. Jacob was already awake, playing in his crib. He smiled at me when I came into the room, and my heart ached at that beautiful face. He might be too young to really say it or understand it, but I could tell he loved me every time he looked at me, and I had never loved anyone more than I loved my boys.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” I said softly, picking him up from the crib.
Lucas wiped at his eyes and stared at us sleepily from his crib. His brother was the early riser, while he liked to sleep in a bit longer. He yawned and it was the cutest thing. Everything about them was the cutest thing. Everything they did, every facial expression, every sound they made… filled me with a joy I had never experienced before I became a mother.
“I’ll be right back, love bug,” I said.
I changed Jacob’s diaper and carried him out but stopped as I reached the living area. I held my little boy in my arms and looked into his bright blue eyes. He looked a lot like Tessa and nothing at all like me. I had darker features, and he was blonde with blue eyes.
I will always be their mom, I reminded myself. She couldn’t take that away from me. Even if she is in their life, I am their mom. Period.
I stepped into the area, and Tessa stood up and rushed over. “Is that Lucas?”
“Jacob, actually,” I said.
“Oh sweet Jakie,” she cooed, reaching for him.
“It’s Jacob,” I repeated. I didn’t hand him over. “I need to feed them.”
“Oh,” she said. “Can I help?”
I looked past her at Charlie, who was on the couch playing on his phone. Technically, this was Charlie’s visitation - not Tessa’s - but he didn’t seem the least bit interested. It rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn’t want to cause a fight.
“Let me just put him in his chair and grab Lucas.”
“You know, I always loved the name Luca,” she commented.
“His name is Lucas,” I corrected her.
“Close enough.”
I clenched my jaw tightly, reminding myself again that I was their mom. She would likely get tired of the boys before long. As she had said herself, she was much too selfish to be a mother. But let her play her little game, and we’d see what happened the minute things got tough.
I walked into the kitchen and secured Jacob in the highchair.
“Can you keep an eye on him while I grab Lucas?”
“Sure,” Tessa said, taking the chair closest to Jacob - my chair, the one I sat in to feed the boys. I clenched my jaw again and went to get Lucas, who was now fussing in the other room. He didn’t like staying in his crib long after waking up. Unlike his brother, he couldn’t self-soothe or entertain himself as easily.
“Shh, I’m here baby boy,” I said softly, scooping my son up into my arms.
I changed his diaper and patted Lucas on the back as I carried him out of the room, eager to get back to his brother. I couldn’t hear what she said, but Tessa was speaking. Followed by a cry from Jacob. I quickened my pace and found Tessa with a bowl of oatmeal in front of her and a spoon to my son’s mouth.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“He doesn’t want to eat.” She sighed and rolled her eyes.
“It’s probably still too hot for him,” I said, placing Lucas in his highchair. “Also, he doesn’t know you, Tessa… He’s not always comfortable with strangers.”
“He doesn’t know me?” she scoffed. “I’m his—”
“Don’t you dare,” I interrupted her. “Don’t you dare say it. He doesn’t remember being born.” I spoke through clenched teeth, reaching for the spoon. She didn’t want to give it up, but I grumbled, “Let me see if it’s too hot still.”
She handed it over and I lifted the spoon to my lips; steam was still coming off the oatmeal. I frowned and looked at her.
“You could have burnt him.” My voice was not kind.
“It doesn’t seem that hot.” Tessa stuck her finger into the bowl of oatmeal and made a wincing sound. “Okay, maybe it is.”
I grabbed the bowl with a sigh and dumped it in the trash can. Call me overprotective, but I hadn’t seen her wash her hands and the fact that she stuck her fingers in my son’s food disgusted me.
“Why did you throw it away?” Tessa asked.
I refused to answer. I just popped a new one in the microwave while checking on the other bowl of food to see if it had cooled down enough for them to share in the meantime.
“You’re ignoring me,” Tessa said.
I dropped the spoon I was holding onto the counter with a loud clanging, and I turned around to face her. “I tossed it because I don’t know where your hands have been. I make s
ure to wash my hands thoroughly before handling their food. It’s nothing personal, even if I had done it, I would have still tossed it.”
Tessa stared at me, her eyes narrowed like she didn’t believe me. “You just think you’re better than me. Why don’t you just say it?”
I rolled my eyes. “Tessa—”
“You think because you raised them, you’re better than me,” she accused. “That they won’t even know me, even though they were in my body for almost nine months and I birthed them.”
“I don’t think I’m better than you,” I refuted. “Just stating a fact that they don’t know you. Because you gave them to me.”
She stood up, her hands on her hips. “They do know me. I’ve done a lot of reading on blogs and everything, and they say children have an inherent bond with their birth mother.”
I scoffed.
“You don’t believe me?” Tessa raised her voice.
“I don’t think there’s any scientific proof that says babies inherently feel anything from their birth mother, especially if they haven’t seen her in eighteen months. It doesn’t make me better than you, but it does make me their mother.”
I moved aside and put some of the oatmeal on the boy’s trays. They grabbed it with their little hands.
Tessa sat back down between the boys, turning her attention toward Lucas.
“Look at you, Luca, you have your momma’s nose.” She reached out and bopped Lucas on the nose, which caused him to pull back. She did it again and he let out a little whine of annoyance.
“Please don’t do that. Let him eat his breakfast,” I said.
And she bopped him on the nose again. Lucas let out a cry of annoyance and started fighting to get out of the seat, and I couldn’t say I blamed him. If someone kept tapping me on the face when I was eating, I’d want to leave too. Tessa was giggling as she irritated him, but when he started crying, she looked at me with large, innocent eyes.
I picked Lucas up out of the highchair to comfort him and to get him away from the person annoying him. So much for a peaceful breakfast. Jacob, upon seeing Lucas out of the chair, started fussing to get out too.
“Here, let me help you,” Tessa said, reaching for Jacob and picking him up.
That only made him cry even more and try to fight to get free. I walked over and tried to grab him too, though balancing both boys was hard.
“I’ve got him,” she said.
“No, you really don’t. You’re going to drop him.”
“What’s going on?” Charlie’s voice cut through the crying.
“Here, take him, please,” Tessa said, annoyance clear in her voice. “His crying is giving me a headache.”
Charlie had no choice but to take Jacob since he was practically thrust into his arms. He held Jacob out from his body and stared at the crying child like he was totally lost and had no idea what he was doing. Tessa promptly left the room, and I could see her on the couch rubbing her temples.
“Can you please calm them down? I thought you were their mother,” she snarked.
I nearly lost it. She was lucky the boys were already upset, because it meant I had to keep my cool, but if she thought she could come in here and disrupt their lives like this only to criticize my parenting from the safety of the couch, she had another think coming.
“Hey, is everything okay in here—” Rachel’s voice cut off as she stepped into the kitchen. She stared at Charlie in shock, then turned to see Tessa in the living room, and then turned back to me with a WTF expression on her face.
“Charlie and Tessa stopped by,” I said, stating the obvious. “They wanted to see the boys.”
“I see.” Rachel’s lips were so flat I thought she’d pop a vessel. Without prompting from me or Charlie, she reached for Jacob and took him into her arms. As soon as he was in familiar arms, his crying became a whimpering as he stared at Charlie with terrified eyes.
Lucas was beginning to calm in my arms too, so I placed him back in the highchair, hoping maybe he’d eat.
“You know, Charlie,” Rachel said, her voice sharp as a tack, “I think you should leave.”
Charlie didn’t seem to protest much, but Tessa was back on her feet, trying to push past Rachel. “I want to spend time with my sons.”
“Hon, they aren’t your sons,” Rachel replied, so much sass in her voice she sounded like she might kill someone. “You signed over your rights to use that word. Now let me show you to the door.”
“I have—I mean, Charlie has rights to see his sons.”
“Sure, and he can go through his lawyer, and I bet Alex and he can work something out. But until then, I’m telling you to leave because you are upsetting Alex’s children.”
Rachel put Jacob in the highchair before ushering Charlie and Tessa toward the front door. I was never as grateful for her as I was in that moment. I stayed in the kitchen, feeding the boys their oatmeal in peace.
The door opened and shut, more loudly than probably was necessary, and then Rachel popped back into the kitchen with a dramatic sigh. She fell into one of the other free chairs and rolled her eyes.
“Wow, the nerve…I give you major kudos for not losing your temper.”
“It was hard, but I had to remember the boys.”
“Because you’re a good mom,” Rachel said, taking one of the bowls of oatmeal and feeding Jacob without me asking for the help.
The tears were welling in my eyes. Now that they were gone, I could feel emotions again, and the impact of what had happened came down on me hard. I wiped away the tears, but not before Rachel saw them.
“Hey now, don’t let them get to you. They’re ass— I mean, buttholes. They’re buttholes.”
“I know, it’s just, Tessa seemed so serious about being in their lives, and she kept saying she was their birth mother and that they would always have a special bond.”
“From the little time I saw her with them, I didn’t see any such thing. The boys looked at her in fear, if anything, and she seemed annoyed by them.”
“Yeah, she disappeared into the other room as soon as they started crying.”
“See? I told you, the minute she sees what being a mom is like, she won’t be interested. I bet this little experiment proved that to her. And did you see the way Charlie looked at Jacob? It was clear that man doesn’t have a fatherly bone in his body.”
“I know, which is why this entire thing is weird. Tessa never had any desire to be a mom, and Charlie claims he never wanted to be a dad. So why are they doing this?”
“I wish I knew, sweetie,” Rachel said softly, using a paper towel to wipe the corner of Jacob’s mouth. “I wish I knew.”
Chapter 17
Liam
I walked into the restaurant and scanned the periphery. A hostess walked over to me and asked, “May I help you, sir?”
“Yes, I’m meeting someone here. A woman. Evelyn Palmer. Do you know if she’s arrived yet?”
“She has. Would you like me to take you to her table?” the perky young woman asked.
My heart raced as I checked my messages.
Declan, where are you?
I wasn’t sure if I should wait at the door, but then I’d keep our date waiting and that didn’t seem like a good idea either.
“Uhh, sure. I mean, yes, please.”
The woman led me through the restaurant. White linen tablecloths. Candlelight. Flowers on every table. I felt out of my element, especially considering I was wearing a suit I hadn’t worn in… God, I couldn’t remember the last time I wore a suit and jacket, but this wasn’t like my usual haunts. This place had a dress code.
Evelyn had picked the restaurant, which was outside of Liberty in Sunville. It was hard to convince Declan to make the trek, but I finally convinced him that this client would be great for the company. Little did he know the real reason we were there, and I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he realized I’d tracked down his long-lost love.
“Right over here,” the hostess said, mot
ioning toward a booth in the corner.
I blinked a few times, just to be sure my eyes were working. A woman sat at the table with three cocktail glasses empty in front of her. Her hair was bleached blonde and covering most of her face, but I couldn’t imagine Evie having bleached blonde hair… of course, high school was a long time ago.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Mmmhmm,” the hostess said. “I sat her myself. She said she was expecting company. Hope you enjoy your dinner.”
She walked away, leaving me standing there wondering if I’d made a huge mistake. But I didn’t really look like I did in high school either, so who was I to judge?
I walked over to the table and asked, “Evie? Evie Palmer?”
The woman pushed aside her dyed locks and stared up at me, and the face looking back at me looked more like that of a fifty-year-old than a woman in her mid-thirties. I was afraid my reaction showed on my face, and I felt like a total ass.
Some women didn’t age as gracefully as others. Declan wasn’t the shallow type anyway.
“Yes,” she said, her voice lower than I imagined, sounding like someone who smoked three packs a day. “Oh Liam, it’s great to see you again.”
She stood up and hugged me, smelling of stale cigarettes and alcohol. She wobbled as she returned to her seat, the cocktails clearly affecting her. She waved her hand and pointed at the glasses, and a server nodded at her, scowling.
“Uhh wow, you look…different,” I said as I took a seat across from her.
“Do I? It feels like high school was only a couple years ago,” she said. “You look the exact same, Liam.”
“Uhh thanks.”
I wasn’t sure it was a compliment or not. If anything, I was surprised she remembered me - we hadn’t been very close. We hadn’t even known Declan and Evie were dating until they had gone their separate ways. He’d kept it a secret from everyone.
“So, how have you been? I saw on your Facebook that you own your own business?”
A waiter brought over her drink and asked us if we’d like to order. I was about to say we were still waiting on someone, but Evie cut me off.