by K. C. Crowne
Another message from Jamie.
EMT’s arrived. They’re rushing her to the hospital now. I’ll stay here with Emma.
I had to get to the hospital. I was outside and ready to climb into my truck when I remembered I’d had almost three beers in about an hour, and while I’d probably be fine to drive, I didn’t want to risk it.
If something happened to me, those girls… Well, they’d be shattered.
There was only one person I could think of to call, and I knew who I needed at that moment.
I dialed it without a second thought.
“Alex, I’m sorry to bother you,” I said. “But I really need you right now.”
Alex came right over to the bar and picked me up. We drove mostly in silence once I explained everything I knew. I was too anxious to say much, I just needed to get to Abby. I hopped out of the car as soon as she stopped outside the emergency room doors.
“I’ll find parking and be right in,” she said.
“Thank you, Alex. You can go home if you’d prefer.”
“I’d rather be here,” she said softly.
And for that, I was grateful. I wanted her to be there too, because I wasn’t sure I could do this alone.
I rushed inside the double doors and over to the nurse’s counter.
“Abigail McDowell,” I said, feeling breathless. “She was brought in by ambulance.”
“Are you her father?” the nurse asked.
“Uhh no, her uncle and legal guardian,” I said.
The nurse asked to see some identification and asked a few questions, but then said, “I’ll take you right back.”
“How is she?” I asked as I walked with her.
“She’s stable, but I don’t know much more than that,” the nurse said. “You will have to ask the doctor or one of her nurses.”
I nodded and followed her as we turned a corner and into a small room.
Abby was in a hospital bed, and she appeared to be sleeping. Her body was lifeless, and she was connected to so many tubes. An IV was hooked into her arm and she had oxygen on her tiny little face.
My heart dropped into my stomach, and I nearly fell to my knees. Her little eyes opened when I walked over to her, and they grew oh so large.
“Uncle Liam,” she said, reaching her arms out for me, pulling on the IV.
“Oh sweetie, be careful,” I said. My cheeks were wet with tears at seeing her.
The nurse who had walked me to the back said, “This is Dr. Ford. He should be able to answer any questions you might have.”
“Thank you,” I said, not even looking at the doctor or the nurse. I kissed Abby’s forehead, relieved that she was alive and clearly able to breathe - even if her tiny voice sounded scratchy and strained.
And that’s when I noticed, she had been crying too.
She had likely been so scared, and I hadn’t been there with her. I had stupidly gone to the bar instead of staying home with her. And she had to go through this alone.
The doctor stepped up beside me.
“So what happened? Do we know?”
“It appears to have been an allergic reaction to something. We can run some tests to determine what she was exposed to, but that will take some time. Do you know if she had anything new prior to her episode?”
“I wasn’t home with her,” I said, feeling like an ass. Then I thought back to the messages from Jamie. “But the babysitter, she had brought over some of her own snacks. She brought over little packets of peanut butter and gave her some with a banana right before she told me Abby stopped breathing.”
“Had she been given peanut butter before?”
“Not that I know of,” I said. “I mean, I never gave her any because I can’t stand peanut butter, so it’s never even been in the house.”
“Well-- I can’t say for sure until we get the allergy panel done, but I’d say that’s very likely. Thankfully, her reaction was fairly mild, though it could get worse in time, so I’d encourage you to avoid any peanut products until we know for sure.”
“She’s going to be okay though?” I asked, taking Abby’s little hand in mine.
Dr. Ford smiled. “She’s going to be just fine. We were able to stop the reaction. It might make her a bit sleepy, and we will keep her overnight for observation, but your little girl is going to be just fine.”
“Thank you, Doc,” I said, and the tears started falling again. “That’s all that matters to me.”
Alex came rushing in the door, the nurse on her heels. “Miss, are you the mother or--”
“Liam! Abby!” Alex said, rushing to my side. I stood and wrapped my arms around her, and it felt so good to hug her right then. She squeezed me back tightly. “Is she going to be okay?”
“Yes, she is,” I said.
Alex relaxed into me. “Oh, thank God. I was so worried.”
“It’s okay, she can stay,” the doctor said to the nurse who was hovering in the doorway.
Alex let me go and went over to Abby’s side. The little girl smiled up at her.
“Hi sweetheart,” Alex said, and she was crying too. “How are you feeling?”
“Sweepy,” Abby said with a small hiccup.
Dr. Ford said, “I’m just glad you're here, she was crying and asking for her Uncle Liam the whole time she was here.”
My heart swelled, and I stared down at my adorable niece. She seemed at ease now, it was hard to imagine her crying and freaking out by looking at her. Her eyes were growing heavy, and I remembered what the doctor had said about the treatment making her sleepy. She seemed to fight that sleep though, like always, but this time, I suspected it had more to do with her scary experience than anything else.
“I’m here, babygirl,” I said, reassuring her as I took the seat closest to her. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ll leave the three of you alone for now,” he said.
Doctor Ford left and closed the door behind him. Alex sat down and scooted her chair closer to Abby and me.
“She loves you so much,” Alex said quietly.
“Yeah, I know. And I love her too. More than I ever knew was possible.”
Alex placed a hand on my leg, rubbing my thigh gently. “Maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but I can’t help myself. I’m going to say it anyway.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Well-- You keep looking for signs that you should give them up, but I think you’ve been ignoring all the signs that you’re supposed to keep them.”
“Alex, I--”
“No, Liam. Please, just listen to me,” she said. “Look at her. She was so scared until you got here. Who did she ask for when things got scary? You. Because to her, you’re the person who makes her feel safe. You’ve been in her life, what, a month? And you’re the person she trusts the most in this world. That says a lot, Liam. It really does.”
My eyes stung, and dammit, I did not want to cry.
But at that moment, I knew what she was saying was true.
I knew there was no way I could let those girls go now, no matter how great the Banks’ might be.
I nodded my head because words escaped me in that moment.
“And, if I might add,” Alex said, speaking slowly. Her hand moved from my thigh to find my spare hand, slipping hers over top mine, “You might not realize it, but this little girl is proof that you’re capable of being an amazing dad.”
I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it.
She was right.
I knew in my heart she was right.
But there was more to it than that.
Because the person I trusted most, who made me feel safest, was her.
And I knew exactly what that meant for me.
Chapter 26
Alex
Liam had stayed with Abby, while I went and picked up Emma and brought her home to stay at my place. Having a baby that young again was something else, but it was just a reminder of what was to come. I’d have to get used to three little ones, car
ing for them on my own. I had Rachel now, but that wouldn’t be an option when my baby was born.
I was going to have my hands full, but it would be worth it.
You don’t have to be totally alone.
I had debated about calling Tessa’s mother ever since the day in the library. So the next morning, when all the babies were still asleep, I sat down and dialed her number.
“Yes?” her voice came from the other end of the line.
“Pam?” I said, remembering she had asked me to call her by her first name. “It’s Alex -- err, I mean, Alexandra. I wanted to talk to you regarding the boys.”
There was a short silence followed by, “I’m listening.”
I took a deep breath. “I’ve talked to my lawyer, as I’m sure you’ve talked to yours, and you technically have no rights to the boys. Charlie has relinquished his rights as a father, and I’m their sole parent now.”
“Alexandra, please--”
“Let me finish,” I said softly. “Even though you have no legal rights to the boys, I would like to propose a compromise. Not because I’m legally obligated to do so, but because it feels like the right thing to do for both you and Lucas and Jacob. I think it would be nice if they had their grandparents in their life.”
I heard a sound like a quick sucking in of air, almost like she was surprised.
“Pam?” I asked.
“Yes, yes, I’m here. I just-- I never thought you would agree to something like that.”
“We’d have to talk about the logistics and set healthy boundaries, but I am open to the conversation,” I said. “My parents are gone, and I’m the only family the boys have beside my best friend. I just think it would be good for them to have a relationship with you and your husband. You seem like nice people who care very much for your daughter and the boys as well.”
“Oh yes, I’ve always wanted grandbabies. So has my husband. Since I couldn’t have any more children myself, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” It sounded like she was crying, and so was I. I had tears in my eyes hearing her talk about her struggle. As a woman who thought she would never be able to have kids, who always wanted a family, I understood her pain all too well.
I knew that desire.
I wanted to believe that she and her husband would be a good influence on the boys, and that it would also bring the grandparents some joy as well. It felt like a win-win to me. I wouldn’t be opposed to future weekends away with grandma if all went well either.
“Would you like to come over this morning and meet the boys?” I asked.
“Would you be okay with that?” Again, she sounded surprised that I had even offered. She already knew there was no chance of her getting legal custody. Maybe she didn’t even want total custody, she just wanted to know her grandbabies. And I couldn’t fault her for that at all.
“Yes, as long as you know I’m currently watching a little girl for a--” I almost said friend, but Liam felt like way more than a friend. But what else could I call him? “For someone I know. I will also have to take care of a few things this afternoon, so we’d have to keep this visit short, but if it goes well, there will be more.”
“Thank you, Alexandra.”
“Please, call me Alex,” I said. “And you’re welcome. I’ll see you soon.”
I gave her my address and we got off the phone, and I went to check on the boys. Rachel had her door opened when I walked by, and I told her what was going on.
She looked at me, a strange look on her face. “Wow, that’s unexpected.”
“Do you think it’s a bad idea?” I asked.
“Not at all. In fact -- I’ve known Tessa and her family for almost as long as I’ve been alive, and I think this is a perfect idea. They really are good people.”
“Thanks, Rachel. I think it’ll be good for everyone.”
“I agree,” I said.
“And what are your plans with loverboy?” she asked with a smirk.
I shook my head. “I don’t know where things are going with him yet, but at the very least, I think we’re going to be friends. Which is good. I would love for my child to grow up knowing his or her father.”
“But you want more than that, don’t you?”
“I do,” I said biting my lip. “But I can’t get my hopes up. Originally, yes, I had wanted to stay away from relationships, for the boy’s sake, but being pregnant with his child… well that changes a lot of things for me. Can’t say if it does for him or not, we didn’t really talk about it last night. He had enough on his mind with Abby.”
“But you’re going to be picking them both up later, right?”
“I am,” I said. “But again, he’s got enough going on. I think he’s going to keep the girls, which is-- well, a lot for someone like him. Adding a third child into the mix, I can imagine it’s overwhelming to think about, so I’m not counting on a relationship right now.”
My heart dropped, but I knew I had to keep my expectations in check.
“I think you’re underestimating him,” Rachel said with a cheeky grin.
Before I could answer, one of the boys let out a pissed off cry.
“That’s my cue,” I said with a laugh.
“I’ll go check on Emma,” Rachel said.
We certainly had our hands full, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
“Thank you for the ride,” Liam said as we pulled up to his house.
“You know I’m always here for you,” I said with a smile, checking the rear-view mirror. Abby was playing with her little mouse, the one she had left at my house. I had remembered to bring it with me this time. “I’m just glad she’s okay.”
“Me too,” Liam said.
I put the car into park but didn’t shut off the engine at first.
“Do you mind coming inside? I think we should talk,” he said.
My palms were sweaty on the steering wheel. I had been worried about seeing Liam again, now that things were calmer. It meant he might want to talk about the baby and the future, and what it meant for us, and that scared me.
“Sure, I’ve got time,” I said, turning the key in the ignition. I slipped off the seat belt, and he grabbed Abby from the backseat. I grabbed Emma and we headed toward the front door.
The visit with Tessa’s mom had gone well earlier that morning. She was so good with the boys, and we both cried as we talked about what it meant to her. I told her I understood her struggles, and I had let it slip I was pregnant - something deemed no less than a miracle. She was happy for me and said that she would be more than happy to be grandma to that little one too, which only made me cry harder.
I didn’t realize how badly I had wanted a family for my kids until that moment, and how much it meant to me. We agreed to setting up more playdates, in which her husband would also be able to come and visit too. Things were going good there.
Now if only things between Liam and I could go as well.
I followed Liam into his house, and he placed Abby down on the couch. I put Emma down on the floor beside her sister, and Abby scooted down to the floor to join her a second later.
“She seems to be feeling okay,” I said.
“Yeah, this time it was mild, but I will go through and remove every trace of peanut in this house just to make sure it never happens again.”
He walked over to me and took my hand in his, taking me by surprise.
“Listen, Alex, I have to admit - I am in way over my head right now.”
“I know, Liam. And I understand if you need your space.”
“I wasn’t asking for space, Alex. I realized something last night. When you were talking about how Abby felt safe with me, that I was the person she trusted more than anyone. I realized that you’re that person to me. You’re the first person I’ve met that I trust completely, and I feel like when you’re around nothing can go wrong.”
My heart jumped into my throat.
“Liam, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anythin
g. I know you’re worried about getting in too deep, that you’re worried about being hurt again. So we can take things as slowly as you want. I just needed to tell you how I feel, and that I’m here for you and our child. I know it’s going to be hard - but I’ve never been known to run from things just because they were hard. I'm not going to run away now, or ever.”
Tears fell down my cheeks, and I tried to wipe them away, but I wasn't fast enough.
Liam continued. “So, if you’d like to try dating and see where this goes, I’m open to that. I would have said something sooner, but there was this bet. I mean, it’s stupid--”
“A bet?” I asked.
“Yeah, my friends and I-- one of them was going to give us a car for staying single the longest and I was the likely winner since I had no desire to settle down. That was before I met you obviously. Because I’ve come to realize that there’s more to life than chasing the next rush of adrenaline or drinking until you’re stupid. I feel safe with you, Alex. I’ve never felt that way with anyone before. I’d be an idiot to pass that up for a silly car.”
I realized I wasn’t the only one crying. Liam’s eyes were wet with unshed tears, and he didn’t even try to hide it. He took both my hands in his now and pulled me closer.
I had no words. No one had ever laid their heart open like that for me. Not even Charlie. He never cried in front of me, never allowed me to see his vulnerable side.
“I know it’s not going to be easy,” Liam continued. “I know I have a lot of growing to do, and that relationships - and parenting - take a lot of work, but I think we can do this. If we communicate and work together, I feel like we could do anything.”
A lump formed in my throat, but finally, I found the words I wanted to say.
“I agree.”
“You agree?” he said, sounding surprised.
“Yes, I do. I want this, Liam. I want you and me, and our horde of kids,” I said with a laugh. “I want it like I’ve never wanted anything in my life, and I think you’re right. We can do this.”
Liam lifted my chin up and kissed me. His mouth opened for me, and I fell into his amazing arms.