by M J Hardy
“You could be right.”
Thinking of my own situation, I know she is and Emma says softly, “Not you though, it’s obvious your husband idolises you; I’ve never seen a more attentive husband.”
“I suppose he is.”
My rings sparkle in the sunlight and Emma looks at them longingly. “You know, Evelyn, you give me hope in life.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you have obviously cracked the code and if I may say so, you appear to have it all. Maybe you can tell me where I’m going wrong.”
I’m spared from answering as the waiter does in fact materialise and hands me a brightly coloured cocktail.
“Madame, for you.” As my fingers close around the stem, I think on Emma’s words. Yes, I do have it all except for one important thing, happiness.
Chapter 10
Chloe
I am so angry with myself. I’ve burned in the sun, despite all my best efforts, and I sigh to myself. When will I ever learn?
“That looks painful, I thought you greased up.”
“I did. The sunscreen must have been out of date.”
“Does that really happen?” John laughs and I stare at my reflection moodily in the mirror.
“Apparently it does.”
“Never mind, it will fade by the morning and you can spend the day doing it all over again.”
John sighs with pleasure as he sinks back onto the comfy bed that is better than our one at home and looks around him with satisfaction.
“You know, Chloe, I can’t remember the last holiday we had where it was just the two of us.”
“Me neither.” I carry on applying the after sun and John says slightly irritably. “It’s always been the kids. You never put me first, it’s always them. Do you remember how many times I’ve begged you to come away with me, just the two of us, and you’ve always told me you couldn’t leave the girls.”
“What do you expect? I had them for a reason and they are best with us. Anyway, you should want to spend time with them too.”
“I do, it’s just that… oh, never mind.”
“Spit it out, John.” I feel stressed because of the state of my skin and the fact that John is always whinging about the girls seriously pisses me off.
“It’s just that you never have time for me anymore. It’s always the house, the girls, your job, the ironing, in fact everything except me.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Excuse me?” He looks so shocked I roll my eyes.
“It takes two to make a relationship work and all you do is go to work and expect everything done for you when you get home. It’s no wonder I’m exhausted half the time. Do you think I want to do those things? I would love some alone time, a moment to myself. Someone to cook and clean for me for a change. But if I don’t do it, no one else will.”
“I work!”
John shouts, making me jump, and I feel the fury burning me up inside. “And I don’t, I suppose.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“What about my work, John? How would you like to get up before everyone else, prepare their lunches and make sure they have everything they need before they leave for the day? Plan the tea and make sure the house is presentable before heading off to the supermarket to put in a shift before coming home and cleaning the house. How do you think I feel when everyone gets home and drops their bags on the floor, raids the fridge and moans about their day before disappearing off, shouting their orders at me and leaving me to pick up after them? What about then having to cook a dinner and have everyone complain that it’s not to their liking and criticise every minute that I have spent making it, before disappearing off, leaving me to once again clear up after them while they watch television and play on their iPads? How lovely to work and absolve yourself of all responsibility for just about everything else.”
I turn away so he can’t see the tears that are threatening to spill. Years of frustration simmering away, until one rogue comment elevates them to boiling point.
To my surprise, familiar strong arms wrap around me and pull me close and he whispers, “I’m sorry, Chloe.”
I sniff and bury my face in his chest and say with muffled speech, “Thank you.”
Pulling back, he looks at me with concern and wipes the tears from my eyes with his finger. “Maybe we need to set a few ground rules in place when we return.”
“Such as?”
“Pull our weight a bit more. Take some of the burden from your shoulders. I can see why you have no time for me, you’re too busy splitting yourself into pieces to cater for everyone. I’m guilty of that too. Maybe we should make time for each other, starting with this week. It’s long overdue, anyway.”
Leaning down, he kisses my lips and whispers, “Let’s make this week all about you, Chloe. Let’s discover each other again and where better than a tropical paradise. What do you say, babe, are you up for that?”
My smile is shaky, but my heart is full of love for this man. It always has been and I suppose we’ve let life get in the way of that, so I nod. “I’d like that.”
He kisses my lips softly and says, “Let’s head down to dinner and then turn in for the night. I don’t know about you, but that flight has drained me. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives and it’s all about us, Chloe and John, not mum and dad, husband or wife. It’s about us as individuals and it’s about time we began seeing each other that way.”
I nod and feel as if a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders that I wasn’t aware I was carrying. Maybe at the end of it we will have fallen in love again and finally set the date to make it official. I will certainly drop enough hints to make it happen, I just hope John listens to them.
We head down to dinner and once again I am reminded about how special this place is.
We are directed to the terrace and as I cling to John’s hand, I stare in amazement at the scene before me. Tables draped in crisp white tablecloths are set before the water’s edge. Fairy lights decorate the place and amazing lotus flowers bloom in crystal vases against a solitary candle. The air is full of anticipation and excitement as the other diners speak in hushed tones, as the waves lap against the shore and gentle music plays low enough to create atmosphere but not loud enough to intrude.
We are shown to a table overlooking the ocean, and the waiter says politely, “May I offer you a drink from the bar.”
John catches my eye and smiles. “A bottle of champagne would be good, we are celebrating.”
I look at him in surprise and the waiter smiles. “Of course. May I ask what you are celebrating?”
“Starting over.”
John lifts my hand to his lips and I feel a shiver inside.
As the waiter nods and leaves, I hiss, “What are you playing at, what if the champagne is extra?”
“It wouldn’t matter.” John kisses my hand and smiles. “I’m going to treat you like my queen this week and hope that you will fall in love with me all over again.”
“I never stopped.” For a second we stare into each other’s eyes and share a smile. Who knew that all it would take was an outburst in a tropical paradise to make John sit up and take note? Maybe we should have done this years ago.
Chapter 11
Kim
The couple opposite have brought a smile to my face and Jack says with interest, “You’re smiling.”
Leaning in, I whisper, “The couple that just walked in are so in love, it’s beautiful to see.”
“Who?”
Jack turns and takes a look and shakes his head. “Oh well, it takes all sorts, I suppose.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they’re hardly in the first flush of youth, maybe this is their first holiday together and perhaps they have run away and left their husband and wife at home.”
“For goodness’ sake, Jack, why are you so cynical?”
He shrugs. “Years of people watching, probably.”
He looks past me and whispers, �
�There’s a couple who have it all worked out.”
I follow his eye and see the glamorous couple from the plane and stare with envy at the woman’s chiffon dress and silver hooped earrings. She looks immaculate and I note the perfectly manicured nails shining as she grips the stem of her wineglass. I feel quite scruffy in comparison and don’t like the way Jack’s gaze lingers on her just a fraction longer than necessary, although I’m having a hard time dragging my gaze from her husband, who is staring at her with adoration.
“They certainly look happy.”
Jack nods. “I saw her earlier, it looked as if she came out of the spa. Maybe we should check it out, have a couple’s massage or something, I think it’s all included.”
“Maybe.” I see the cogs turning as Jack looks at the couple and I feel uneasy. I hate it when he gets that look, like he’s planning something, and I wonder if he’s going to sign me up for something I wouldn’t enjoy. It wouldn’t be the first time after all, and I’m still trying to rid myself of the nightmare when he arranged scuba diving lessons, and I almost drowned. Then there was the white water rafting we foolishly went on and when our canoe capsized, I thought my time was up. Praying to God there are no dangerous activities at this hotel, I try to distract his attention.
“I’m looking forward to a relaxing day by the pool tomorrow.”
“Yes, you could use a tan, you look so pale.”
“And you don’t, I suppose.”
I feel annoyed, and he shrugs, “That couple have tans and I’m guessing they have more than one holiday a year. I would like that for us, once a year just isn’t enough.”
“We don’t have the money; things are hard enough without splashing out on holidays every few months.”
He looks annoyed. “Maybe if you got a better job we wouldn’t have to, honestly, Kim, it’s not as if you’re incapable and working as a hairdresser for a woman who pockets all the profits is quite sad when you think about it.”
Sometimes I really loathe my husband and this is one of those times and I snap, “Well, what do you suggest I do?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Set up your own company, have a bit more ambition, take charge of your life instead of sitting back and expecting me to do it for you.”
“Jack!”
My voice is tight and furious. “You know why I work for Betty. I want to start a family and if I have my own business, I wouldn’t have the security being employed gives me.”
Jack actually rolls his eyes. “That again. Honestly, Kim, haven’t you given up on that pipe dream yet? It’s obvious we can’t have them, so get over it.”
He takes a sip of his beer and looks annoyed, and I don’t miss the way his eyes are drawn to the table behind me.
Luckily, our food arrives, distracting us from a full blown domestic, and I try to enjoy the fresh lobster salad with minted new potatoes. Jack appears to be brooding about something, and a feeling of unease settles inside me that just won’t go away. What’s happening to us? This marriage is dissolving like an aspirin in water, and I don’t know what to do about it.
After dinner, we head to the beach for a stroll and rather than holding my hand, Jack stares out to sea and I can tell something’s on his mind.
“Talk to me, Jack.”
“You wouldn’t like what I have to say.”
The fear starts to grow as I say tightly, “Tell me anyway.”
Stopping, he sighs and turns to face me and I hate the pity in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Kim, but I’ve been thinking for some time that maybe we need to call this a day.”
I just stare at him in shock because where the hell has this come from?
He sighs and stares out at the black sea with a brooding look. “I’ve been unhappy for a while now; this just isn’t working for me anymore.”
“Since when, you were more than happy earlier, if I remember rightly.”
“That was just sex, Kim, you know I’m always up for that, but outside of it, well, there’s not a lot there if I’m honest.”
His words strike a painful blow and I hate myself for allowing the tears to fall and turn away, not sure what to say without coming across as desperate.
He sighs heavily and says softly, “Listen, it’s been a long day and I’m not thinking straight. Maybe we need a few hours apart, to think on this. We’ve got a week to work it out and if at the end of it I still feel the same, we will start the ball rolling when we return. It’s up to you, babe, make a few life decisions and see if we can work out a way forward.”
He nods to the resort. “If you don’t mind, I’d like some time on my own, I’ll see you back at the room.”
He doesn’t even look at me and just starts walking away down the beach, and I stare after him in shock. He was so cruel, so emotionless. He destroyed my world in a few sentences and made out that he needed time to think.
I am fast discovering the world is a lonely place when you feel as if you’re the only one in it. I may be in paradise, but my soul is in hell because I have never felt pain like this. Jack wants a divorce, it’s obvious. He never actually said as much, but it was there in the fine print. I have exactly one week to turn this marriage around if I want to keep him. The trouble is, right at this moment in time, I’m not sure if I do.
Chapter 12
Evelyn
I have been on edge all evening and it’s all down to the lustful looks the man at the next table is directing my way. Charles is oblivious and just eats and drinks as if it’s his last meal. The conversation is stilted because I don’t have any. There is so much I want to say but know he won’t appreciate hearing it.
I play with my lobster salad and resort to a few larger gulps of wine as he drones on about Mr Wheeler and how important Charles is to his business. He almost believes he owns this place as he looks around with pride and points out various things that I couldn’t give a damn about.
After a while, I seize my chance when he takes a big mouthful of food and say in a whisper, “I want to have a job, Charles. I’m bored.”
He almost spits out his food and stares at me through troubled eyes, and I carry on quickly before he can say no.
“I’ve been thinking about it for some time. I’m really interested in re-training and would love to study massage. I could work for the local spa and build up to opening my own business. It would be amazing and I would be contributing to our pot and get so much out of it. You’re busy all day and I’d still be there in the evenings but to be honest, Charles, I’ve been thinking of this for some time and know it’s the right thing to do.”
He just stares at me with a horrified expression and I see the storm building in his eyes.
Regardless, I carry on laying it all out on the table. “I know you’ll think I’ve gone mad, but I really need to do this. I’ve done my research and there’s a course I’ve put my name down for. It’s five days a week and would be for three months. After that I would take a position in the spa as a sort of apprentice.”
“No.”
He wipes the corner of his mouth with his napkin and folds it carefully, placing it neatly to the side of his plate. Then he lifts his eyes to mine and fixes me with a stern look.
“You will not be enrolling in a course and you will not work. Your job is as my wife and I expect you to fulfil your vows.”
“But…” I feel the anger brewing as he leans forward and hisses. “No wife of mine is going to work, and especially not by touching another person’s body. You will put all foolish notions out of your head immediately and be grateful you have the life I work hard to provide for you. Now, if you want something to do to occupy your time, I have a little project I was keeping as a surprise.”
“What project?”
Like a switch, his mood shifts and he smiles smugly. “I have instructed an architect to design us a house. You can oversee the interior, which will put your talents to good use.”
“A house, where?”
I stare at him in shock and he
looks pleased with himself. “I have been thinking of relocating for some time now and have decided we are to move out of London to the Cotswolds. Many people are doing that and we will have an amazing life there.”
“The Cotswolds, since when?”
“Since I decided that was the best place for us. Now, darling, isn’t that way more exciting that rubbing people’s sweaty bodies for a living? Maybe I will even consider children. We discussed that once, do you remember?”
“And you said there was no room for children in our lives.”
I stare at him in disbelief as he shrugs. “That was then, this is now.”
“But I’m too old for children.”
“Hardly, darling, thirty-five is a good age for children. Maybe we should start practising on this holiday.”
If ever I felt trapped, it’s now. As I stare at Charles in shock I see a manipulating control freak who has got worse over the years, not better. It’s as if I have no say in the matter at all, and he just decides our lives with no consideration for what I want. I feel so angry I could murder him with my cutlery and happily go to prison for life because I’m there already – with him.
He looks at his watch and shakes his head.
“I need to return to the room; I have those papers to go through.”
He stands, but I remain seated and he raises his eyes. “Well,”
“You go, I’m good thanks.”
He looks surprised. “I can’t leave you here.”
“It’s fine, I promised Emma I’d keep her company while you worked. She’s on her own and I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Emma?”
Charles looks confused. “The girl I sat with by the pool. She’s really nice.”
“Where is she?”
Luckily, I spy Emma sitting at a table for one trying to look inconspicuous and I wave in her direction.
“There, see.”