by M J Hardy
I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time, and even my daily call home did little to dampen my spirits.
However, my mood changes quickly when I see the man from the town heading towards us. My heart rate increases as we pass and I grip John’s hand tightly as he nods and says a polite, “Hi.”
The man stops and my heart sinks as he says loudly, “Hey, how are you enjoying your stay?”
John replies because I can’t even look at him. “It’s good thanks, are you?”
“Yeah, it’s one amazing place, although I thought there’d be more people, it’s a little like a ghost town with just a few of us rattling around.”
John nods “Nice though. Did you win the holiday, like most of us?”
“Yeah, it surprised me, in a good way though.”
I feel his eyes roaming up and down my body and I shiver a little as John says, “I never saw you on the boat, didn’t you fancy it?”
“Not really, boats aren’t my thing.”
“It was good, just a few of us and a crate of beers and nothing to do but relax. It’s not something I do every day, so I was keen to try it.”
“Sounds good. No, I was content just hanging around the resort.”
Once again, I shiver inside as I hold John’s hand tightly because there’s something about this man that causes my nerves to stand to attention. The fact John is being so friendly has me screaming inside because if he knew what that man said to me, he would probably be punching him right now. It’s why I never said anything in the first place because John has a temper I try my hardest to keep under control. He scares me when he loses it, and I do everything in my power to keep it hidden.
I tune out of their conversation as I think of the last time John lost it. It was stupid really, an argument with a man over a parking space. Road rage of the worst kind and we were just lucky there was nobody around to witness the fact that John punched the guy to the ground. It was an overreaction of the worst kind because the guy had only stolen his parking space and I watched in horror as John stormed out of the car and approached the man as he locked up. They argued and the next thing I knew, John slammed him against his car and punched him in the stomach. The man fell to the ground and John kicked him hard. I remember screaming at him and he just wandered back to the car and got in as if nothing had happened, telling me to stop moaning, before driving away.
I have never forgotten that incident, and for a while it made me doubt my decision to be with him at all. But I was pregnant and madly in love, but I have never forgotten how volatile he can be.
If John knew what this man had said to me, I’m in no doubt he would be tasting sand right now and John would probably be arrested. So, I keep it to myself, like I do most things and just tune out of their conversation.
Luckily, it doesn’t last long and as we walk away, John says in a low voice, “There’s something weird about that man.”
“I agree.”
He shakes his head. “Who comes to a place like this on their own? He didn’t even come on the boat, surely he was meant to as part of the deal.”
“Maybe he doesn’t see it like that.”
“Well, if you ask me, he should be told. It’s the least we can do, test out everything for them when they’ve gone to a lot of trouble to make this a good experience and they deserve our cooperation.”
“I agree.”
He squeezes my hand. “So, how was your morning, you seem quite chilled for the first time in ages?”
“It was amazing, the other women were nice, and it was good to relax and forget about the stress of life being a mother throws at you.”
“You shouldn’t let them get to you.”
“How can I not? I worry about them, it’s a cruel world out there and they’re living in one I don’t really understand. They could be exposed to all sorts of dangers that we don’t even know about. You hear about it all the time; the cyber world is a dark place and I wouldn’t know how to even access it.”
“They’re fine, honestly, Chlo, you really should relax, they’re more switched on than you think.”
“Are they, I’m not so sure?”
“Well, you’re not doing them any favours pandering to them and you should just chill a little and let them make their own mistakes, it’s the only way they’ll learn.”
“You’re wrong about that, John.”
I hold my breath as he laughs, “I doubt it.”
“You are, you see, even the most careful person can be a target and have no control of it all.”
“What are you talking about, it doesn’t make sense, what do you know, anyway?”
“John, I…”
The words catch in my throat as my past invades my present, battling to be heard.
“Chloe, what’s wrong?”
Maybe it’s the concern in his voice, or the fact he seems so chilled, I say with a sob, “There’s something I should tell you; it may make you understand why I’m so protective.”
He grips my hand tighter and says evenly, “I’m listening.”
“Can we sit down?” He nods, looking concerned, and pulling me down to the sand, on the edge of the ocean, he wraps his arm around my shoulders.
I stare out to sea and say with a slight hesitation, “It happened when I was eighteen. I went on a night out with my friends to a club in town, you know, the usual thing back then. Well, to cut a long story short, my drink was spiked without me even realising it.”
John tenses up beside me and I say quickly, “I felt as if I was going to be sick and went to the toilets but I never made it. I was dragged outside and…”
I break off as out of nowhere, the tears fall and I put my head in my hands and cry as if my heart just broke. John places his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close and his next words shock me more than anything, “I know.”
“You know.” I turn and stare at him in confusion and he says sadly, “It’s ok, Chloe, you don’t have to tell me because I already know what happened?”
“But how? I never told you.”
“It was your mum. When we got together, she pulled me aside one day. I think you were working, and I dropped around on the off chance. We had quite the conversation, and she said if I was serious about you, I needed to know.”
“She never said – you never said – why?”
“Because she asked me not to say anything. She told me how traumatic it had been and that you couldn’t talk about it. She wanted me to know, so I could deal with any problems as they arose and understand if you found certain situations difficult to deal with.”
“She really told you, I don’t understand.”
He smiles sadly. “You’re a lot like your mum, Chloe. You take everyone’s problems and make them yours. I see it with the girls. You will do anything for them and fight their corner when they are in the wrong. I understand your need to protect them and just thinking of them experiencing what you went through, makes my blood run cold.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”
“Why didn’t you tell me yourself? Because it was easier not to. To keep something hidden that brought you pain; to forget it ever happened and not let it affect our lives. It needed to come from you, Chloe, because it’s your past to deal with.”
He smiles so sweetly it brings tears to my eyes as he says softly, “We all have things in our past we would rather forget. You know, I may have my own fair share of them.” He laughs and I nod through my tears, “I can think of a few.”
He rubs my shoulder and drops a light kiss on my lips. “I suppose, we have been guilty of bottling things up and not trusting each other with our emotions. I can never begin to imagine how you felt after what happened to you, it’s the worst kind of crime and something I will never understand. I want to be a man you can trust with your darkest thoughts, the man who will take your problems and make them go away. I want to be strong for you, Chloe, and not make you feel as if you have to hide things from me but I struggle with the words sometimes a
nd know I have my own demons to control. I want to be that person, Chlo, but you need to let me.”
I feel a little ashamed that I never trusted him with this before, when all along he knew every sordid detail. Then there’s my mum, telling him something that was my secret to reveal. Would I do the same to one of my daughters, interfere in a relationship that could have backfired and made him walk away? As I think about mum, my heart breaks because now I’m a mother myself, I know how painful that must have been for her. I shut her out and retreated into my shell and became emotionless and cold. She was so worried about me and I pushed her away. I feel ashamed of how I treated the one person who always had my best interests at heart, and as John’s arms wrap around me and pull me close, I break down in his arms.
Suddenly, it’s as if the cloud has lifted and the sun has broken through because he has stepped up and become the man I always wanted and I’m only just realising that he has been all the time.
Chapter 35
Emma
The reflection staring back at me is full of determination and I almost don’t recognise myself as I stare at a woman who has only one thing on her mind. Ben.
Speaking with the girls has given me a sense of purpose. I need to make this work; to make Ben fall in love with me because I want what they have, but I want more. Ben can give that to me and the fact he’s so easy on the eye makes him even more desirable. So tonight’s the night. I will make Ben fall so hard he won’t recover, and I picture the desire in his eyes when he sees the sexy lingerie caressing my body and smooth down the tight black dress that I purposefully chose for this evening. Tossing back my freshly washed hair, I blink at my reflection through the fake eyelashes I’m wearing that make my eyes look sexy and sultry and as I look around the room, I pray I don’t end up back here alone tonight.
The knock at the door makes my heart quicken and taking a deep breath, I open it and see him waiting, looking so desirable I feel the lust tearing through me. He is so sexy, so cool and dangerous for my heart because he looks good enough to eat.
He stares at me with dark intention and I smile. “Hi.”
Holding out his hand, he smiles. “You look beautiful, Emma.”
His eyes travel the length of my body with an appreciation that makes me happy inside, and as my fingers close around his, I take a step towards my future.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a restaurant on the top of the hill I like to go to, it’s a little off the beaten track but popular with the locals.”
“It sounds nice.”
He leads me through the reception and waves to the receptionist who looks at me with envy and I feel quite smug as I smile in her direction.
We make our way outside and he flicks the key fob and bright headlights beckon us over to a smart red sports car that looks like something James Bond would drive and as he holds open the passenger door and I slide onto the cool leather seats; I feel as if I’ve come home. This all feels like destiny to me, and I’m excited for the future.
Ben jumps in beside me and we are soon tearing through the streets and I look around with interest at a place that appears worlds away from England. The heat, the lack of buildings and wide-open spaces, seem a million miles away from the towns I usually explore.
“What made you choose to build your hotel here?” I start my campaign by showing an interest in his business and he says brightly, “It came on the market and I booked the first flight available to check it out. I’ve always wanted to build a luxury resort, and this was as good a place as any. It screams paradise, and the land was cheap. The airport is close by but not close enough to destroy the peace and it’s easy to get here.”
“Do you have any other hotels?”
I am keen to know more about this man and he shakes his head. “No, I invest in companies, tech ones mainly, but I wanted to build something substantial for once, to have something tangible to show for my money, instead of just an entry on my asset spreadsheet.”
“You obviously have a talent for business if you can afford to do things like this.”
“I do.”
He switches the conversation and says evenly, “Tell me about your business, what are your plans?”
“I’m not sure?” I shrug. “It’s not really paying the bills, and so I was thinking of a change of direction. Maybe look for a job somewhere – I don’t suppose you have any going?”
I giggle and he nods. “Probably, I could put you in touch with the HR department, see if there’s something suitable.”
“Oh, thanks.” To be honest, the last thing I want to do is become one of his employees, I have a much better idea in mind and as we pull up outside a small restaurant, I say flirtatiously, “You certainly know how to make a girl’s head spin.”
The fairy lights twinkle over the front of the building and flaming torches guard the entrance, casting a romantic glow across the deserted hilltop.
He turns and his eyes sparkle in the darkness as he says slightly huskily, “There’s a reason I want to make your head spin, Emma.”
“Is there?” I lick my lips and lean a little closer and inhale the musky scent of a desirable man. “Well, for your information, you have succeeded.”
He leans closer and our lips touch briefly as he whispers, “I wonder if you know just how much I want this. You - this situation, for you to fall deeply in love with me.”
My breath hitches as I fall deep and hard, and as his lips crush against mine, I dance a victory parade in my head. He wants the same - he wants me.
Ben kisses like he means business and I’m loving every minute of this. The sense of new beginnings, of starting something that will end so well for me and the culmination of a plan that will deliver me what I want. He makes my head spin with it all; his good looks, his devastating wealth, and his enigmatic personality. He is everything I wanted in life and searched so hard to find and as he pulls me closer, I demonstrate just how much I want him – to share his life and never leave.
Reluctantly, he pulls back and sighs. “Come, we should eat something.”
Food is actually the furthest thing from my mind as we head inside the dimly lit restaurant that looks out across the darkened hillside.
We are shown to an intimate table overlooking the view, and as the sun sets in the sky, it casts a magical glow over the evening.
The waiter arrives and serves us a bottle of champagne that is chilling in a bucket beside the table, and I raise my eyes. “You’ve planned this already.”
He nods and smiles wickedly. “I have it all worked out.”
He raises his glass to mine and as they touch, he whispers, “To realising your dream.”
“I’ll second that.”
As we clink glasses and I take a sip of the cool liquid that slides down my throat, I feel as if I have arrived. Finally, everything is working out for me. It no longer matters that the business is failing because I am winning at life right now, and as I throw Ben a sexy look, I can just imagine the pleasure that is heading my way this evening.
Chapter 36
Evelyn
Charles was gone so long I thought I’d have to call out a search party, although I was relieved to have some time alone to deal with the shock.
It wasn’t Jack.
I still can’t wrap my head around that. I was so certain. It was what I wanted, of course it was, but if I’d have known it was someone else, it would have been a very different story.
I almost think I’m going to have to dine alone, but Charles returns when I’m applying the finishing touches to my make-up.
He seems angry and looks worried, and I immediately know something is very wrong.
“Is everything ok, Charles?”
He groans and sits on the chair with his head in his hands. “Not really.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Not with you, anyway.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” My heart is beating wildly inside me as he stares int
o space. “I need to see Ben, it’s urgent.”
“Is that where you’ve been?”
“For god’s sake, Evelyn, I’m trying to think. Stop asking me stupid questions and try to pretend you even care.”
He stands and heads for the shower. “I’m getting changed, we should eat and attend that stupid champagne reception. Apparently, Ben will be there, something about launching the resort officially. I’ll grab a moment with him then.”
He slams the door behind him and I try to shrug it off because it wouldn’t be the first time Charles has let business affect him. When it’s all good, he walks around with a smug smile on his face. He’s always been pompous, and I hate it when he’s obviously gloating about something. It usually involves an expensive present for me, presented in full view of a packed restaurant, demonstrating to the masses how lucky I am to have landed a catch like him. Then I’m usually subjected to a night of his attention that usually ends with him falling asleep, leaving me feeling used as always.
Increasingly, I am coming to the conclusion that I am just another possession to him. Not worthy of deep conversation and just an object, styled to perfection to complement his lifestyle.
I was never that woman. I always wanted a career; to make my mark and yet I fell in love with the first man who showed me some attention and when Charles wants something, he pulls out all the stops to get it.
We head downstairs for dinner and notice the other couples are already here. I can’t even look at Jack as we stop by their table and Charles makes brief polite conversation. I can tell he’s uptight, I’ve lived with him long enough to recognise the signs and so I say little and just concentrate on eating my food and drinking way more than I should.
Luckily Charles is preoccupied, which gives me time to think about my situation. As I eat, I look around at the tables and wonder about the people who sit there. Chloe and her partner are probably the happiest ones here. He is laughing at something she says and occasionally reaches out and grasps her hand tightly.