by M J Hardy
Kim squeezes my hand and sighs. “It can’t be worse than what just happened? It’s weird how something so terrible can happen in a place that is so stunning it takes my breath away. It doesn’t seem right somehow. It’s the ugly side of beauty, much like my husband’s behaviour, really. He may be beautiful on the outside but is ugly inside. It appears that looks count for nothing in the long term because who would want to be with a man like that?”
We are in no hurry to return to a place where our problems are waiting to determine what happens next. Instead, we sit staring out to sea as if all the answers lie there. A strange feeling of calm settles over me as I sit beside a woman who is far richer than me where it counts. Kim, unlike her husband, is beautiful inside and out and I know she will be just fine – me, I’m not so sure.
Chapter 41
Emma
What is happening? The place is in chaos, and I don’t know where to look first. The men are all fighting and weirdly the staff are just watching as if they’ve paid for a ticket. I can see Chloe shaking and instinctively rush over and take her arm, “Come on, babe, let’s get out of here.”
To my surprise, she doesn’t argue despite the fact her partner is knocking pieces out of Jack. Not that I blame him after what I just saw, and I can’t quite believe it happened at all.
We head out to the quiet reception and to my surprise Ben follows us.
“Chloe.” His voice is deep and apologetic and she stills beside me.
“Chloe, please, let me explain.”
I look between them in confusion as Chloe starts to sob, angrily brushing the tears away as Ben says softly, “Come, I’ll explain everything.”
“Maybe it’s best if I come too.”
I stare at Ben pointedly and he nods and we follow him to a room behind the reception desk. As soon as the door closes, it silences the noise coming from the bar. A welcome calm descends on the place and we just wait for Ben to speak.
He sits opposite Chloe and I take a seat to the side and he says softly, “I’m so sorry, Chloe, that must have come as quite a shock.”
“Just a bit.” Chloe looks so shaken I wonder if I should get her a cup of tea, or a brandy, but I don’t want to leave her. She looks so devastated and Ben sighs heavily. “I changed my mind a thousand times about bringing you here, revealing your attacker’s identity and putting you through yet more pain when the last thing you probably want is to remember.”
Chloe nods, “Then why do it and how did you even know where I was?”
Ben shakes his head and I’m surprised to see a little of his cool manner desert him.
“Maybe I should start at the beginning. It may answer a few of your questions.”
He looks up and as our eyes meet, he says with a smile. “Let me order some drinks to settle our nerves and then I’ll begin.”
He lifts the receiver and speaks firmly into it, ordering three brandies with coffees.
Then he looks at Chloe and I see him battling with something and I think I hold my breath as I wait for yet another secret to come out.
“You heard me talk of my childhood. It wasn’t the easiest of beginnings but all that changed when I was adopted. I finally had the parents I always longed for and quite frankly, they saved me. But those early years linger in your memory like unhealed wounds. I suppose I was always an outsider, always on the edge of the group, never included in things and always chosen last. I came to expect it. Nothing ever changed, even when my clothes were smarter, newer and my hair washed and styled. I was always the misfit and bullies like to prey on people like me to make themselves look good.”
He looks up and as our eyes meet, I feel a prickling sensation deep inside. Something’s wrong about this, I’m not sure why, but there’s a sense of something coming that I’m not going to like.
“Jack bullied me for my entire school life. He beat me, taunted me, and ridiculed me. Always set me up for a fall and he was the monster under my bed and my hatred of him was the skeleton in my closet. I suppose as time went by the wound deepened and began to fester. It turned out I was good at something though; I had a knack for facts and figures that only grew the more interested I became. Despite my start and Jack’s best efforts, I did well at school and when I left, I vowed to make him pay one day because men like that should never get away with ruining another person’s life.”
We are interrupted by a brief knock at the door and a waitress heads inside carrying a tray which she sets down on the desk.
Ben smiles his thanks and waits for her to leave before offering us both a mug of coffee, before taking one himself.
He carries on. “To be honest, I forgot about him while I attended college. During that time, I worked two jobs and invested the money in stocks and shares. I was good - more than good, and my money doubled, then trebled and hasn’t stopped since. The night I saw Jack in the alley, everything came rushing back. The hurt, the pain, the hatred and the desire for revenge. Perhaps that was what brought me back to find you, knowing the sort of child he was and the man he obviously became.”
Chloe sobs. “Why didn’t you report him? I was made out to be at fault. They blamed me at first until they found the drug in my system.”
“Oh my god, Chloe, no, that’s terrible.”
Reaching out, I stroke her back and try to offer the only comfort I can and she shrugs. “It was a long time ago; it took a while, but I moved on. Like Ben said though, it left its scars, and it was only when we came here and I had a disturbing altercation with your father, that I finally told John everything.”
“My father.” Ben looks shocked and Chloe sighs. “In town, he gave me his room key and told me to use it. He said it was obvious I was lusting after him, well obviously that was a lie and a figment of his imagination but I’m glad he’s gone. I’m sorry for you, Ben. That was devastating to watch.”
Shaking his head, Ben shrugs. “I was looking forward to it, it’s why I couldn’t wait any longer to bring this all out in the open. Why should I continue to pay for scum like that to enjoy my hospitality? He had seen enough, and I had my sweet revenge.”
Once again, he looks at me and something in his eyes stirs a memory deep inside. I can’t quite place it though, and I can tell he knows because he turns back to Chloe.
“Facebook was all I needed to keep track of him. I hate to admit, but I’m pretty techy and soon found a way to duplicate accounts and be included on friend’s lists. I always intended to make him pay for what he did to you, but at the time I couldn’t get involved. I mean, who would believe it wasn’t me who drugged and well…”
I look at him sharply because maybe that’s exactly what happened, and he’s framing Jack. However, deep in my heart I know that’s not the case. Ben is a good man; I just know he is because the compassion in his eyes just can’t be fabricated.
“I checked and there was no CCTV in the alley. No evidence to link Jack with you, and so I bided my time. I found out your name; it wasn’t difficult, just a word in the right ear, and then I added you on Facebook. I watched you over the years, the pictures of your friends, family, how you progressed and was just glad you seemed happy and had moved on with your life.”
“But I still don’t understand why you brought me here to face something so horrific with no warning.”
“Because I know only too well what trauma does to a person. It’s probably affected your life, shaped you and made you fear the very thing that brought you down. Nobody ever recovers from those jagged memories that cut you when you least expect it. I’m guessing you know that already, so I brought you here for closure. To cleanse the past and start afresh. I suppose I wanted to apologise, to help you in any way I can, maybe I felt guilty for not stepping up when I had the chance, back you up and tell your side of the story. The trouble is, I was still a kid myself who had a bad record with standing up to bullies, and Jack Parker was a huge black cloud from my past that affected me in my present.”
I see a steely gleam in his eye as he says firmly, �
��Not now though, the cards have shuffled and now I’m in a position to right those wrongs and help put something right that should never have taken this long.”
Suddenly, the door flies open and I stare in shock as John bursts in looking frantic and as soon as he sees Chloe, he races across and pulls her into his arms, stroking her hair and kissing her over and over again. He looks awful, as if he fought a war, with his knuckles torn and bleeding and dark angry bruises on his arms and neck that look painful.
He pulls back and my breath hitches when I see the love shining from Chloe’s eyes as she whispers, “It’s over, John.”
He runs his thumb across her cheeks, wiping her tears away, and nods. “Yes, no more secrets.”
Ben sits back and watches the scene, and I see a thousand emotions pass across his face.
Chloe looks at him and smiles. “Thank you. I’m still not sure if I should be thanking you, but I know you brought us here with all the best intentions. What happens now?”
He smiles. “You carry on enjoying your holiday at my expense and I get rid of the unwelcome visitors. Any time you need to talk, I am here for you and I hope, like me, you can take closure from this and go on and live your best life without the past clouding your sky.”
John looks confused and Chloe smiles. “I think I can.”
She looks over at me and says gratefully, “Thanks, Emma, you’ve got a good one there. I’d hold on to him if I were you.”
I watch as John takes her hand and leads her gently away and as the door slams, it’s as if it dislodges the memory from its hiding place in my mind and a cold feeling creeps over me as I turn and face the man I remember from my past.
Now I know who he is.
Chapter 42
Kim
Evelyn and I finally make it back to the resort, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. We wait for the lift and I look at her with concern.
“Will you be ok?”
“I expect so, will you?”
“I know so.”
I smile and she looks so apologetic I shake my head. “What happened with Jack was something you couldn’t control. It’s obvious he’s a master manipulator, and I should know that more than anyone.”
She says sadly, “I don’t know how you can forgive me.”
“We’re all victims, Evelyn, but not anymore. Never again, promise me that at least.”
“I will.” She still looks troubled, and I know something is preying on her mind as I see the fresh tears build.
“What is it?”
“I just don’t understand. You see, Jack arranged to meet at the gym that night for exactly what happened. The whole time we were, um, together, I never saw his face. It was so dark and he stayed behind me for most of it. I thought it was him, why wouldn’t it be, but the next day he told me he loved you and didn’t want anything to happen between us? I was angry because it already had, and when I told him as much, he looked confused and told me we had only kissed in the lift. He made out it was someone else and ever since I have been imagining all sorts. I thought I’d been attacked, and it’s been a hard thing to deal with.”
“But it was him all the time.” I finish her sentence and feel even more disgusted with my husband than I was before. “Typical Jack, really. He says one thing and does another. I think he has a split personality. He’s been like that for most of our married life. He does things he regrets and then pretends they never happened and always tries to shift the blame to make himself look good. It took me a while to realise that and this is a classic example of it.”
“Why is he so cruel?”
“You saw him, you heard what Ben said; he’s damaged, and probably needs a good counsellor to sort his head out. Well, that’s his problem because I’m done with him. Forever.”
“You’re so strong.” Evelyn looks wistful and I shake my head. “Not really, just at the end of the line. Anyway, will you be ok?”
The lift stops at her floor and she smiles with a bravery I doubt she feels inside. “I’ll be fine, Charles won’t say anything, not when everyone saw what happened. He wouldn’t dare. He hates drawing attention to himself in a bad way because he’s all about appearances and wants to be admired, not detested.”
I step out and smile reassuringly. “You know where I am, good luck, Evelyn.”
“You too, Kim.”
As the doors close, I walk slowly along the hallway, suddenly scared of what I may find. The man on that screen, the man Ben described, is a monster.
I married a monster.
Picturing the husband I loved so much I forgave him anything, makes my heart weep. What happened to him, has he always been so damaged? Thinking back on Ben’s childhood, I know my answer. Things will never be right with him; he needs professional help, but I no longer care enough to stick around to make sure he gets it.
My heart thumps as I reach our room, and I tentatively open the door and step inside. The room is in semi-darkness, lit only by the moon, and I see a shadowy figure sitting in the chair in front of the window, with his head in his hands.
“Jack.” My voice is soft, testing his mood, and he raises his eyes to mine and sounds so broken as he whispers, “I’m sorry, Kim.”
“I know.”
I expected that, it’s nothing new because he always is – sorry that is. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard those words over the years and I know that’s all they are – words.
“Do you need a doctor?” My voice is hard and practical, and he winces a little as he touches his fingers to his face. “Probably, but I’ll live.”
Stepping a little closer, I see the results of a severe beating. Even in the darkness I can make out the damage inflicted on his once perfect face and he winces as he holds his body telling me he is in a lot of pain.
“We should clean you up.”
“It’s fine, just surface damage, I’ll be ok.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, of course. Despite was you saw, I never attacked Evelyn. It was a moment of madness after our encounter in the lift earlier. She made it obvious she was up for it, and I thought she liked the excitement. Did she look as if she objected – no? If I’m guilty of anything, it’s screwing around behind your back, which hurts me the most.”
“Why? You don’t really care what I think because if you did, you wouldn’t have kept on doing it all these years. You see, Jack, Evelyn isn’t the first and won’t be the last and if you think that’s where our problem lies then I’m worried for your sanity.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“Chloe.”
“That wasn’t me. You only have a fucked-up version from a man who hates me. He’s deluded and making something up that never happened – with me.”
“I believe him.”
Jack’s eyes flash as he snarls, “Above me, you’d believe a man you don’t even know above your own husband. Who’s fucked-up now?”
“If it wasn’t you, which I doubt, it doesn’t matter anyway. Like the man said, Karma’s a bitch, and you just got everything you deserved. Why should I care when my own husband lied to me?”
“About what? I’ve told you what happened with Evelyn, it’s the truth.”
“I’m not talking about Evelyn!” I start to yell because this man infuriates me so much. Even now he is trying damage limitation and it’s frustrating the hell out of me.
“This is about us, Jack, it’s about the fact you lied to me about the most important thing – children.”
“What are you talking about, I never lied to you, I never promised you children? For god’s sake, Kim, you’re seriously raising this issue again. I told you I can’t have them, get over it.”
I don’t know how I keep my voice calm as I say firmly, “There’s a difference between not being able to have them and choosing not to have them. Maybe the fact you’ve had an operation to take away that chance has something to do with it.”
“What are you talking about?”
&n
bsp; “Your vasectomy, you idiot, the very operation that takes away a man’s ability to have children, at least yours wasn’t as traumatic an experience as John’s was. Lucky you.”
The bitterness sits between us like an impenetrable wall because I am so done with this man. Whatever he says next won’t change a thing because I won’t believe a word of it.
He shakes his head and says gruffly, “So, once again you believe a stranger over your own husband. Way to go Kim, ten out of ten for loyalty. Now which one of us is fucked-up?”
“What does it matter anyway, Jack. I think we both know this marriage is over, and tonight was just the match that lit the fuse. If I’m honest, it’s been over for some time, so maybe it’s a good thing we never had children because I’m not sure I would want them to have a father like you, anyway.”
“So, that’s it, you’re ending our marriage because I won’t give you children, so much for love, it turns out you’re not worth much yourself.”
“Think what you like, I no longer care. You know, Jack, we could have had it all. Even if tonight never happened, it was inevitable. We aren’t meant to be together, and that’s been obvious for some time. Maybe this has done us a favour and we can move on and be happier. I know I will be because for all the happiness you gave me, it was buried under the pain, humiliation and psychological trauma you heaped on top of it. Anyway, I’ve said what I came here to say, I’ll let you sort your shit out on your own and see if they’ve got another room. I’ll collect my stuff in the morning.”
“You’re leaving me – now?”
Jack sounds incredulous, which doesn’t surprise me. I almost know what he’s going to say next and if he’s anything it’s predictable as his mood switches. “Please don’t leave me, Kim, I love you, we can work this out. I need you.”
“I can’t deal with this tonight, Jack, we’ll talk in the morning.”