He remembered his father’s words about Lucy wanting something different from what she’d had with Zeke. Was he too much like Zeke? Did she only have sex with him because he reminded her of Zeke? His old friend, a memory, and a reminder of what she’d lost.
Reid glanced toward the back door. He should just go now and not come back. He shook his head in disgust. He’d already promised the Z-man he’d come back tomorrow to build a snowman with him. His fist hit the steering wheel. Dumbass! You just couldn’t keep your hands off her, could you?
He pulled his glove-covered hands down his face. Just go!
He put the truck in gear and glanced toward the door again. Lucy stood there in the open doorway staring at him and he had the feeling she knew he was thinking of running. He put the truck back in Park, opened the door, and climbed out. He walked up the steps and stopped at the top. She stepped forward, her arms wrapped protectively around her because of the cold, he assumed—he hoped.
“You were going to leave, weren’t you?”
“Yes. Things shouldn’t have happened like that...it wasn’t...I feel so guilty about this, Lucy.” He jerked back when she punched him in the chest.
“Don’t. I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel like it shouldn’t have happened. Zeke has been gone for a long time now. We’re two consenting adults, Reid. It’s not like we’re cheating on him.”
“It feels like it to me,” Reid mumbled.
“Fine then, just go, Reid. I don’t need this. I don’t need you to make me feel like a quick lay on a cold day. I told you I haven’t been with anyone since Zeke. It’s not like I’m sleeping with any man who comes along. I-I’ve always been attracted to you and—” Her words stopped on a squeal when he grabbed her arms and pulled her against him.
“Say that again,” he demanded, his ears needing to hear her say it again to believe it.
“What? That I’ve always been attracted to you?” He nodded. “It’s the truth. I have been since the first time I met you. I always wondered what would’ve happened if I’d met you first.”
“Damn it, Lucy. I...”
“You sure say that a lot, Reid.” Lucy scowled at him.
“Mama?”
Lucy pulled away from him turning to the open doorway behind her. “I’m here, baby. I’ll be right there.” She turned to Reid again, wrapping her arms around herself. “It might be better if you leave as soon as your truck is warmed up. I don’t want to have to explain too much to Zeke. If you don’t want to come back anymore then we’ll make up an excuse as to why you won’t be back tomorrow.” She turned on her heel and entered the kitchen, closing the door.
Reid swore under his breath. She was angry. Could he screw this up any worse? He returned to his truck feeling like a rotten heel.
Chapter Five
THE NEXT DAY, REID was sure he must be out of his mind as he drove to the Rolling A. It was still snowing and getting deeper by the minute but he’d promised Zeke yesterday he’d be there, if he could drive. When Zeke had said he knew he could, there was no way Reid wouldn’t get there. Besides, he needed to see Lucy. He only hoped she wasn’t still mad at him. Shit!
He drove up the driveway and pulled the truck to a stop by the back porch. The snow was now coming down harder now. Wonderful! He shut the engine off and sat there staring at the door. He had just about convinced himself to leave when the back door opened, and he saw Lucy and Zeke standing in the doorway, watching him. Taking a deep breath, he threw the cab door open and climbed out. He walked up the steps, knocked the snow off his boots, and entered the kitchen behind them. He spun around to face Lucy who was leaning up against the counter when she chuckled. He raised his eyebrow at her. She shrugged her shoulders.
“You were out there fighting with yourself, weren’t you Reid,” she asked letting her gaze fall to the floor instead of holding his.
“How would you even know that?”
She shrugged again. “I saw you pull up and by the way you were wrapping your hands around the steering wheel, I knew you were in a battle with yourself.”
“Yeah, well, I’m here now.” He looked to Zeke and put on a false smile. “Are you ready to build a snowman, Z-man?”
“Yep,” Zeke yelled, hopping up and down on one foot.
Reid chuckled. “Get your coat, hat, and mittens, and let’s do this.”
“Hurry up, Zeke. It’s getting bad out and Reid will need to leave soon.”
When Zeke ran off, Reid turned to her. “I just got here, Lucy. Are you trying to get rid of me already?”
“Nope.” She moved closer to him and stood on her toes to put her lips close to his. “I’m actually hoping you’ll get stranded here, and have to spend the night.”
Reid groaned, and started to put his hands on her waist when Zeke suddenly ran back into the kitchen. He skidded to a halt with eyes wide in his cherub face.
“Mama? Were you kissing Reid?”
“Shit,” Reid muttered.
Lucy laughed. “Don’t I kiss you to warm you up? Reid was cold.”
“I’m sure as hell not anymore,” Reid whispered.
“Yep. Did you get warm, Reid?”
“Hot is more like it, Z-man. Your mom is good at that.” Lucy punched his arm, making him laugh.
“Come here, baby, and I’ll help you get ready.”
Reid leaned close to her ear. “You can whisper that in my ear anytime. Were you serious about what you said yesterday?”
Lucy glanced up from where she was helping Zeke zip up his jacket. “You got it, cowboy.”
Reid wasn’t sure how he was feeling about things now. He nearly groaned at the thought of her warming him up but liked that she wasn’t angry with him about leaving yesterday, and that she admitted being attracted to him all these years. He needed to talk to her—alone. Of course, that was easier said than done with Zeke around. “You’re more evil than I’d ever realized.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder and stared up at him. “You have no idea.” She handed Zeke a carrot. “Here, Zeke...for the snowman’s nose.”
“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go,” Zeke said and ran for the door.
“Good luck keeping up with him,” Lucy said with a sly grin.
“You’re not coming out with us?”
“No way. This was your idea. I’ll watch from the window in the living room.”
Reid nodded. “Yep. Evil.” He kissed her quickly. “You and me, we need to talk.”
Then he headed out the door after Zeke.
LUCY SMILED AS SHE walked to the living room with her cup of coffee and sat in the rocking chair next to the window. She watched as Zeke ran around in the snow and she saw Reid shaking his head in what had to be wonder, as he watched him. He stooped down, picked up some snow, made a ball, and tossed it at Zeke hitting him in the chest. Zeke stopped and stared at him then picked up some snow and ran full-speed at Reid hitting him in the legs with it. She could hear Zeke’s laughter through the window. He squealed when Reid caught him and tossed him into the air. She shook her head. It didn’t look as if they were as interested in building a snowman as they were in having a snowball fight. Boys...and it didn’t matter their age.
Finally, they started working on a snowman and had one put together in no time. She watched as Reid dug through the snow in the driveway. He found gravel for the eyes and mouth. He was good with Zeke and that had her worried. She didn’t want her son becoming too attached to a man who already had a life somewhere else. She couldn’t even be sure that Reid didn’t have someone else waiting at home for him. He hadn’t said he hadn’t had sex recently, only that he always used a condom. He hadn’t responded when she told him she had always been attracted to him. Was she just a holiday fling? Another trophy for Reid to win that Zeke had once won.
She stood and walked to her bedroom returning with a scarf. She opened the front door and stepped onto the porch.
“Zeke, come get this scarf for your snowman’s neck,” she called to him.
&nb
sp; “Okay, Mama.” He ran toward the steps and fell face first into the snow. Lucy started to run down the steps.
“I got him,” Reid told her as he strode to Zeke. He picked him up and laughed at Zeke’s snow-covered face. Lucy burst out laughing when Zeke pushed a handful of snow in Reid’s face. Reid looked up at her and his eyes narrowed. “I’d go back inside if I were you,” he said in a menacing voice.
She widened her eyes as she observed him pick up snow and form a ball. She ran for the door and slammed it behind her just as she heard the snowball hit the door. She leaned back against the door to catch her breath. And he calls her evil!
She laughed as she returned to the living room to watch from the window. She jumped back when a snowball hit the window. That man was in so much trouble. Grinning, Lucy returned to the rocking chair where she watched her son and the man, who was wiggling his way into her heart and her son’s life, play in the snow.
She was already half in love with him now and it would be so easy to fall the rest of the way. But what did she really know about him? He said he was retired from the rodeo, but he was still young enough to return to the circuit if the urge grabbed him. He said he wouldn’t, but could she believe that? The thought of him losing his life, the way Zeke had, was something she couldn’t grasp. Of course, that was the least of her worries since when the holidays were over, he would leave and there was no guarantee he would ever return.
She was in so much trouble here. She knew she couldn’t love another bull rider, but then he might actually be done with that world. What about the life he has now? Would that keep him away just as easily as the rodeo circuit? It might not be as dangerous but it wouldn’t include her.
Damn you, Zeke for leaving me! If he were still here, she wouldn’t be having these thoughts about Reid. She’d done just fine without seeing him for three years. Of course, in the beginning, she’d had her anger to aid her. The infatuation had disappeared but now he was here, back in her life and she had no idea if that was a good thing or bad.
Her heart nearly stopped when she heard Zeke scream. She looked out the window but he wasn’t hurt, he was only having fun. Reid was chasing him. Zeke’s little legs trudged through the deepening snow while Reid acted as if he couldn’t catch him. Anytime he got close, Zeke would scream. She could see from here how red his cheeks and nose were getting. She grinned happily when Reid caught him, and tossed him over his shoulder. Tears formed in her eyes and she glanced upwards as if to heaven.
“Are you watching, Zeke? Your son is having a ball with your best friend. Somehow, I think you’d approve.” She looked back outside and saw them heading toward the back of the house.
Lucy heard the back door open and so headed out to the kitchen. She stopped in her tracks when she looked at the two males standing in her kitchen, covered in snow. She raised an eyebrow at Reid.
“I guess we should go out on the porch and knock this snow off us, Z-man. Mom is giving us the evil eye,” Reid said with a smirk.
Zeke put his hands over his mouth and giggled. “Mama, are you giving us the...” He glanced up at Reid. “What was it?”
Reid grinned down at him. “The evil eye.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Are you, Mama?”
“I am. Out!” She pointed to the porch.
Reid and Zeke laughed but wandered back out to the porch. Lucy stood in the doorway and watched them. She laughed when Reid brushed the snow off Zeke while he spun around, giggling. When Reid stomped his boots to knock the excess snow off, Zeke copied him marching in place doing little actually to rid his boots of snow. Reid knocked the snow from his hat and coat and Zeke watched him, clapping his mittens together when Reid smacked his gloved hands against each other. Together, they reentered the kitchen. Reid pulled out a chair and sat down to remove his boots. Meanwhile, she busied herself relieving Zeke of his wet coat, hat, and mittens before sitting him in a chair to remove his boots.
“I’m surprised to see you in any boots other than your cowboy boots,” she said glancing over at Reid.
“I had a feeling I was going to be in the snow quite a while,” he said as he unlaced his hiker boots.
“Smart move. Zeke, do you want hot chocolate? Reid? Coffee?”
“Coffee sounds good,” Reid told her.
“I want coffee like Reid,” Zeke said, now running around the kitchen table.
Lucy looked at Reid. He stopped unlacing his boots and stared at Zeke then looked at Lucy.
“I’ll have hot chocolate.”
Lucy smiled. “Sounds good. You two go warm up by the fire and I’ll bring it in.”
“Let’s go, Z-man. We’re being banished from the kitchen.”
“What’s banished mean,” Zeke asked him as they left the kitchen.
Lucy took a deep breath and went about making each of them a cup of hot chocolate. She glanced out the window located above the sink and smiled when she saw the snow coming down more heavily. She wanted Reid to spend the night and she was going to do her best to talk him into it.
REID ADDED LOGS TO the fire and moved them around with the poker. He glanced over his shoulder to see Zeke bouncing up and down on the couch. He grinned and shook his head. His dad had been right. Zeke was a tornado, just as his father had been. The smile left his face when he thought of Zeke. His friend was missing the most amazing experience ever, even better than riding the meanest bull. He knew he would’ve loved his son so much, just as Reid was beginning to love him. The idea of this little boy having never known his father tore at his heartstrings. Just like his mama did. Lucy was the woman he wanted in his life. She was the reason he’d never settled down. No other woman ever compared to her. None ever would.
He stared into the fire, wondering where this was going. He was only here through New Year’s Day. He had a farm to run and he had to get back to it. He watched the flames roll over the wood but didn’t really see it.
So why are you thinking of not going home right away?
“I’m not,” he muttered.
“Not what?” Lucy said from behind him.
Reid spun around feeling as if she’d caught him doing something wrong. “Nothing...just thinking out loud, I guess.”
He took a cup of hot chocolate from the tray she held out to him. He watched her set it on the coffee table, and handed Zeke his cup.
“Be careful, it’s still hot,” she warned Zeke.
“Okay, Mama. I’ll blow on it.” He grinned up at her, and then looked over to Reid. “You better blow on it, Reid. Mama makes it hot.”
“Mama sure does,” Reid said as he shifted his eyes toward her. He smiled when she blushed.
“Stop,” she said.
Reid chuckled. He took a sip of his too hot cocoa, and watched Lucy fuss over Zeke and his cup. He liked watching her be a mother.
As the day wore on, they relaxed in the living room watching Christmas movies until Zeke started to drift off. Lucy stood and picked him up.
“Let’s get you to bed, Z-man.” She glanced at Reid. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here.”
She stared at him for a few seconds then nodded, and walked off with Zeke. Reid stared at the fire. He’d come to a decision. He seriously needed to stop coming here. This, whatever this was, couldn’t go anywhere and he was just falling more in love with both of them. He sighed. He should have just stayed away, never accepted the invitation to dinner, and sure as hell never should have kissed her. If he hadn’t kissed her, they wouldn’t have ended up in bed together.
He ran his hand over his whiskered jaw and swore under his breath. This was wrong on so many levels. Yes, he felt guilty, but also scared that he was just a Zeke substitute. Now he wondered how he was he going to leave them behind after having experienced two of the best days of his life with them. Christmas was in two days, and he had family obligations but all he wanted to do was be with Lucy and Zeke. He’d love to see the look on Zeke’s face Christmas morning when he saw the pony Santa was bringing him. Reid
smiled with sadness thinking how it wasn’t his moment to enjoy. He turned when he heard Lucy behind him.
“Are you all right?” she asked him.
“Yeah, I was just thinking about how excited Zeke’s going to be when he sees his pony Christmas morning.”
“Can you come over Christmas day?”
“I wish I could, but I have to be at my parents’ for the day.”
“What about later?”
“I suppose I could.”
Lucy spun away from him. “Don’t do me any favors, Reid Callahan.”
Reid grasped her elbow and turned her to face him. “Hey, I’d love to be here, but don’t you have family obligations too?”
“I’ll be going to my parents’ for breakfast and my in-laws’ in the afternoon, but we’ll be here alone after that.”
“All right then, I’ll come over, but I want to get Zeke something. What can I get him?”
“You don’t have to do that...”
“I know that, Lucy. I want to.”
She smiled up at him and his heart seemed to stop. “He said he wants a coat like the one you wear.”
“My sheepskin? What size?”
“Reid, they’re too expensive.”
“What size?” He stared her down. He wasn’t going to be dissuaded.
Giving in, Lucy told him where to get the coat and what size then she walked to him and put her arms around his neck, stood on her toes and kissed him.
“How about a nap, cowboy?” she whispered against his lips.
“Sure. Later, first...did you really mean what you said about having always been attracted to me?” he asked her, not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.
“Yes, I really meant it. I loved Zeke, I won’t deny that, but had you come into my life first...well, things might have gone a different way.” She smiled up at him and suddenly, he didn’t feel so guilty. He kissed her, picked her up, and carried her to the bedroom. He pushed the door shut behind him and walked to the bed. Her fingers in his hair were driving him insane. He placed his knee on the bed and lowered her to the center. He pulled his T-shirt off and lay down beside her. Her fingernails skimmed down his chest to his stomach.
A Cowboy for Christmas Page 6