by S. J. Higbee
So when was that? Though, recalling my conversation with Paulder Commander, I suddenly reckoned I knew exactly when Vrox had chosen to hand over control of the Codings. When I was busy murdering Clete Gator. When the Codes all failed – was that you shifting control across to me?
Vrox huffs in approval. While there’s times when he has been harsh with his Queen, he is proud of her quickness of mind and how she conducts herself in battle. She has proven that she is now capable of protecting this precious part of Vrox’s burrow…
My head spun giddily as numbers, flaring with bioluminescence, swirled in a complicated dance through my brain.
And while he is, indeed, guilty of committing a terrible crime against her by MindLinking with her when she was but a mere cub, Vrox cannot find it in his core to feel true remorse. For she has become a Queen with power and control. Long may she rule over her Horde with wisdom and the necessary savagery to keep order.
Meanwhile, Vrox is no longer running alongside her, but leaving to make another Horde, for Queen needs to make her own mistakes without Vrox’s mantivore wisdom to constantly catch them.
I flung myself at him, seeking the softer belly scales, as I hugged him tightly like we used to. Before it became too messy between us and we stopped doing so. May you roam far, find what you’re seeking, and always battle with joy…
Felina cleared her throat. “Cos of what happened, Vrox can no longer MindLink with you anymore. He’s taken the Drool to break the connection, already. Just wanted you to know…”
I spun round. “How dare you? I am the Overlord. And I say that if we can MindLink, we will!”
Jessob stared at the ground, refusing to make eye contact.
Is that insubordination, or showing respect?
“I am desolated to so displease you, My Queen. But… this is not a human affair – this is mantivore business.”
“So is this your decision?”
Jessob’s shoulder’s slumped as he slowly shook his head.
“You’re hollering at the wrong person, Raindrop,” said Felina.
I glared at her. “Who do I have to yell at to get this lame-brained decision reversed?”
Both Jessob and Vrox flinched, while Felina sighed and shook her head. “You’ll just have to accept this one. You go on pushing, then Vrox is liable to be DeathHunted the moment we encounter any of the main hordes.”
So they mean it. I’ll no longer have Vrox with me. Or Felina… Reeling from too many losses, I husked, “Why go with them, though? I can see why these two packets of trouble need to go racketing around the sweaty, dangerous corners of the planet, but you could come back to Gloriosa with me. There’s so much to see…”
She slowly shook her head, a sad smile twitching at her lips, as Jessob said, “Again, I am truly sorry not to accede to My Queen’s wishes, but Vrox an’ me – we need her. No one can MindYell like she can. If anyone can find the hidden vores out in the secret places, it will be her. I promise to look after her an’ perhaps bring her back to you, should we succeed.”
Oh nooo. I took a shuddering breath, recollecting that both had been slowly suffocating with slo-mo sadness at having to live a life they hated. And that loving me hadn’t eased their misery.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
So in that moment, I grew up sufficiently to say, “Can I just ask that you don’t go around hurling your sandals at any wild vores you find? It’d be shady if any remaining population isn’t stunned stupid. And take your tab so we can chat.”
I was rewarded by her bellowing laugh that suddenly echoed through the brightening air as she looked like a boulder had just rolled off her shoulders. “Not sure what point there’ll be hefting around that piece of scrap, but if it makes you happy, then I’ll do it.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Codings, remember? Once I get the Noderies fixed in Acinos, we’ll be able to catch up over most of the planet.”
“Felina! I’d recognise that laugh anywhere. Care to explain why you’ve hauled me out of bed at this godless time and had me marched to this less than salubrious part of the Arids?” demanded a furious Seth, as he stormed into the clearing, flanked by Damita and Demri Peaceman.
“Issa s’prise, Priesty-boy,” said Demri, a wide grin on his face, though judging by Seth’s reaction, it wasn’t the first time he’d heard Demri say it. Demri’s fond of repeating phrases.
“Libby…” he said, not looking all that thrilled to see me.
“So this plan of yours to move out of Brarian Place, once you return to Gloriosa,” announced Felina. “Care to explain?”
“What?” I said, feeling as if I’d been punched in the gut. Why is he leaving? What have I done so wrong that everyone I love is abandoning me?
“It’s not fair on her.” His normally melodious voice was flat and harsh. “Never was. I bounced her into taking me along with her when she had to flee Cnicus, then got myself beaten up. She needed to pretend we were married to get help for me and she’s been tangled up with me ever since.”
Vrox snarled, thoroughly exasperated, though I couldn’t hear what he was thinking.
Evidently Jessob did, though. My dark-adapted eyes could see his face flush as he stammered, “Vrox says… you’re a feeble, string-muscled specimen and he’s no idea why, but My Queen has been yearning to mate with you since she was old enough to be interested in such things. There’s never been anyone else. An’ he’s outright bored with seeing images of your naked body scroll through her head whenever she’s—”
“Enough!” I said, MindYelling in an agony of embarrassment, while Felina cursed and Jessob turned the colour of porridge.
Demri broke the sudden silence by nudging Seth with a guffaw. “See? She likes your naked body, Priesty-boy. Reckon if you leave her, you’re a proper crip-wit.”
“Crip-wit just about sums it up!” I snapped, far too close to tears. I’m losing them all. I can just about cope without Vrox and Felina. But Seth… What will I do without him? Jumping up, I swung away from him – swung away from them all – and shouldered my way through the reeds, heading for the larger specimens where I could disappear. For Felina and Vrox weren’t the only ones who knew their way around this area. Another lifetime ago, this had been the one place I’d gone to watch the river, sometimes for a gossip with Onice, but often enough on my own. However, though I was quickly able to leave them behind, it was much harder to move far enough away from the sound of their voices.
“Libby! Come back. Where’s she gone?” Seth sounded panicked.
“Now look what you’ve done, you crip-wit!” bawled Felina. “We’ve lost her in the middle of the reedbed. Jer know how dangerous this place is before daybreak? Kyrillia! Sodding suns, where the roaching hells are you?”
I swore under my breath, suddenly furious. It was bad enough when Ellern Healer Prime was treating me like spun glass, but when folks I’d grown up alongside suddenly started along the same crooked furrow, I reckon it was past time to shake free of their dust.
I’m better off without them – all of them! But though I continued pushing through the reeds, I could still clearly hear the conversation continuing in the clearing. Given it was Felina doing the conversing, I’d probably be halfway to Gloriosa before I’d be out of earshot.
“I know you had an upbringing I wouldn’t wish on a nemmet, but if you don’t pull your head out’ve your arse, you’re going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you.” She finally stopped shouting, as she lowered her voice, forcing me to stand still so I could hear her ask, “Why can’t you get it through that thick skull of yours that she really loves you? Don’t you love her, too?”
“Of course! Always have. But… why would she? She could have anyone.”
“She doesn’t want anyone. She wants you. Always has. But I’m coming around to the notion that it’s a bad idea, given you don’t love her back enough.” Felina sounded sad.
“I do!”
Jessob made a rude noise. “Not like she loves you. When she thought tha
t human nemmet had killed you – her rage burst his brain.”
Demri sniggered. “An’ she likes you in the rudey-nudey.”
“It’s been terrifying,” Seth said, so quietly that I can to strain to hear him. “Trying to cut deals to ensure we survive. They tried to poison me twice. I didn’t tell her about the second time. She just knows I was ill.”
What? That was poison?
“Of course, I hadn’t realised her roaching healer was also messing with her head, but I was so sure she would turn around and tell me that she didn’t want me anymore. She was behaving so oddly. But I had to keep going. Cos no matter what happened to me, I had to keep her safe.”
“So what are you saying? That now you’ve finally succeeded, you’re gonna cut and run, leaving her to face those roaching Uppies alone?” demanded Felina.
“No! I got so used to being told that sooner or later she’d give me the flickoff, I started to pull away. So it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
“And did I once – even at my weirdest – ever tell you that I didn’t care? Ever say that I didn’t need you?” I yelled into the night, too angry to keep quiet.
“Libby? Oh, thank Heaven above you’re safe! Please come back—”
“Answer my question!” I bawled. “Did I ever tell you that I didn’t want you?”
“Raindrop, we’re a tad close to the river for you to be yelling so loudly,” said Felina.
There was sudden stunned silence.
“Don’t know what you’re all staring at me like that for!” snapped Felina. “It’s a fair point.”
“Indeed it is,” muttered Damita.
“No, you never said you didn’t need or want me,” Seth answered, sounding oddly closer.
“I’ve got the Codings now. So I’m stuck with the roaching job. I walk away and hundreds, maybe thousands die. Until I train up a whole bunch of folks who can step in and take over – and that’ll likely take years…” My voice cracked at the prospect. I cleared my throat. “Vrox is going with Jessob and Felina to track down more mantivores.”
“What? Surely, they’re all coming back with us. I thought you’d have…” Seth broke off as with a sudden rattling of reeds, he was next me.
“And even if they did decide to come with us – are you really saying that having them in Gloriosa would mean there’d be no room for us. For you and me?” I tried not to breathe in the musky smell of him, which always had me wanting to reach out and touch him. Because Felina was right. If Seth couldn’t get over his sense of inadequacy, then no matter how much I loved him, we were doomed. Especially once we were back in Gloriosa, where there’d be far too many smooth-tongued skelpers all too eager to lever away at his lack of confidence.
“I’m not saying that,” he murmured, his beautiful voice husky. “My earnest repentances. You were so profoundly unhappy that I’d convinced myself that you would only thrive with someone else. I was pulling away to give you space.”
I took in a breath, trying to think clearly when all I wanted to do was hold him. “Right. Let’s make a pact. Anytime either one of us feels unhappy with the other one, we’re straightline about it. Deal?”
“Deal,” he murmured, before reaching for me and tilting my face up towards his. And he kissed me. A kiss full of love, tenderness and passion. A kiss that made my senses spin…
“Will you marry me?” he finally asked after we’d come up for air.
“Thought you’d never roaching ask,” I muttered, pulling him towards me for another kiss. “Yep.”
He pulled away, sighing. “Reckon we need to cool down somewhat…”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. Can’t be inappropriate together, can we?”
Seth grinned, a proper smile that lit up his eyes, holding out his hand. I held on, comforted by the callused ridges from years of heavy labour as he eeled through the reeds, bringing us back to the group, who were still arguing as to whether they should interrupt us, now the sun was about to rise.
“Thought I’d give it a mench – as a Peaceman, I’m authorised to marry folks,” drawled Damita, hauling out a very battered parch from her tunic pocket. “And I brung along the words in case you two’d like to get married. Now, I know you gotta go through all that Gloriosan lace-lined flummery. But this way, you get to have a few folks alongside who care more than a pool of spittle for the pair of you.”
I stared at her, wide-eyed.
“What jer think?” asked Seth, holding my hand tightly.
“Yes, oh yes!” I breathed, not quite believing the one thing that I’d dreamt of and yearned for since forever was suddenly happening right this moment.
Damita suddenly acquired a sonorous note in her voice as she chanted the familiar words and paused for our responses, as we promised to care for each other and cleave only to each other in sickness and in health. Our small congregation also pledged their part in witnessing our solemn promises to one another. And as we turned to face each other, Seth plucked one of the dried grass stems and deftly braided it into a small ring, before slipping it onto my finger.
I grinned up at him, suddenly looking forward to the future with excitement, where before it had all been gritted dread. “We can do this, can’t we?” I whispered to him. “Sweep back into Gloriosa, sort out those Bridgedeckers and make this planet a good place to live. For those in Acinos, as well as those in Gloriosa. And the mantivores.”
“Oh yes. We’ll sort it, Libby, my love. Even those roaching mantivores.” Seth’s grin lit up his face, while Vrox bugled his approval at our wedding, albeit somewhat grudgingly – just as the edge of the sun sliced through the pearly pre-dawn light, drenching us all in the copper-pink wash of a new day.
Damita was right. We did have a grand Gloriosan wedding later in the year, a stiffly orchestrated affair full of droning ceremony and ridiculously uncomfortable costumes. But while the journos fluffled on about it being the wedding of the decade, I’ve always regarded my real wedding day as that sunrise pledge amongst the reeds.
We walked hand in hand along River Road and for a few blissful minutes I couldn’t stop smiling, until we came to a fork in the road and I felt the sudden wash of sadness from the old mantivore.
“You can’t just leave now!” I blurted. “What about supplies? Food? Fresh clothes?”
“We are amply provisioned, my Queen.” Jessob’s bow was the epitome of grace as Leggsie loped along the path towards us, now accompanied by three hover carriers piled with neatly packed bundles. “I bid you farewell, My Queen an’ hope in the coming seasons to be able to fulfil our quest.”
“As I do,” I said, wondering – not for the first time – if Jessob’s parents were long-lost royalty, like all those fairy tales Osmar found for me to read when I was little. For he certainly held himself like a young prince, despite the layer of dried mud coating his skin.
Felina was hugging Damita, who held her fiercely, as if she never wanted to let her go. “What’ll Cnicus do without you?” she asked, her voice muffled.
Felina sniffed hard. “The village isn’t hanging on by its toenails from one harvest to the next, like it used to. And I wouldn’t want it so brokeback poor again, you understand. But they don’t need my skills now. All those tourists…” Felina rolled her eyes. “Can you really see me honey-talking the roaching nuisances the way Ajene wants me to?”
Damita stepped back, caught between a sob and a gust of laughter, shaking her head.
And it was my turn for farewell hugs. “Have lots of wonderful adventures,” I whispered in her ear. “And tell me about them, when you can.”
She squeezed the breath from my lungs. “You too, Raindrop. It’s what you were born for – adventures. I know you think you’d be happy running the village Node, but I’m here to tell you there’d come a time when you’d have dreaded every sunrise as each day crawled by full of suffocatingly vital yet minor chores, just the same as the previous one.”
She’s right. I’d get to hate it. That realisation finally snuffed out the anger ign
ited by the way we’d been snatched from our emerging lives in Pistacia. Though returning to the village had made me realise that I’d never truly belonged or been accepted in Cnicus.
I turned to Vrox. Who’d been alongside me the longest. Whose presence made the drudgery bearable, took the sting out of all the unkindnesses heaped upon me, whose strength kept me alive and well when I might have died from neglect.
I stroked his belly scales, still misshapen from years of imprisonment and ill usage. Thank you for all of it. I wouldn’t have survived without your mantivore strength. I swallowed back my grief. Range free my brave lord. Meanwhile we’ll work to protect you…
Vrox squatted down, churring softly – the way he used to when I was little and upset. He stroked Comfortdrool across my forehead, as he Sent me a vision. One I recognised from the time when I first freed him from his terrible prison…
The Node nexus stretches across the whole of Arcadia, the interconnecting lines draped over the planet like a huge spider web. It is beautiful; dew-jewelled and glittering. Someone is swishing across the silver-beaded, vari-coloured strands wearing the grandiose robes of the Overlord. It is me. I raise my hand. Another figure strides onto the glistening strands – one who wasn’t in the original vision. Seth joins me and together, we walk across the web, making it vibrate and bounce, so that we struggle to keep our balance, though we manage not to fall.
Fat globes of moisture drop from the shivering strands onto the parched red soil of Acinos lying under the nexus. They land with thudding puffs of dust, which then dampen and sprout plant tendrils. Soon Acinos is transformed into green fertility. The stick-thin people become plump and smiling. There are mantivores cavorting in the jungle-lined lakes and sunbathing on exposed ledges of mountainsides. They shimmer like the nexus strands…
I surfaced, slumped against Seth, to see the three of them already a distance away, striding out together, while Seth’s frowning anxiety lifted.
“Roaching vore stupefied you so he didn’t have to say goodbye,” he grumbled.
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t like that. He said it, but in his own way.”