by Mari Thorne
It wasn’t. If anything, it fueled my desire and the closer I got to Sean’s return, the more on-edge I became. What the fuck was wrong with me?
After what felt like an eternity, Sean was finally flying back home. I’d insisted on picking him up from the airport, waving hello to Blucifer on the way in, the creepy blue mustang's red eyes ever-judging. He stood in the arrivals lane as I pulled up and rolled down my window. "Did someone call for an Uber?"
"I've never been in an Uber this tall. Did the Jeep get bigger?"
"Maybe you just got shorter," I unlocked the doors and he tossed his bag in the back before climbing in.
"It's good to see you again," I grinned at him and he shivered and turned up the heater.
“It only took me three weeks to acclimate to the Texas heat,” he sighed, putting his hands up to the vents. I started driving home, wishing it was a further distance. “It's good to see you too, but damn it got cold. And that fucking horse creeps me out every time I see it.”
"It'll be colder when we're out in the deer stand," I said. "But I'll have a heater. We could always revisit cuddling for warmth."
I regretted it as soon as I said it. Sean flinched and I focused on the road. Apparently jokes were fine in text form, but when said aloud, they had more weight behind them.
"Sorry, I didn't mean—"
"I know, it's just a joke." I caught the bitter tone in his voice and it made my chest hurt.
“Look, I didn't get to say sorry. Not properly, for how I treated you. I could have sent it by text, but I wanted to say it in person. Last time, it didn't come out right. I wasn't being sensitive to your feelings. You know that shit is hard for me.”
Sean nodded, but kept his mouth shut. Good, I didn't want him to interrupt me.
I stared ahead, afraid to look him in the eyes, scared of what I might see. "I was an ass. There's a million things I could have said and instead, I said nothing. Nothing of importance, at least. Yeah, I freaked out, I admit it. I felt like I'd abused your trust and used you. And maybe you were okay with that, but I wasn't. I don't want to do that to you. You're more important to me than anyone I know."
He still said nothing, so I peeked over at him. His eyes were glistening. "Fuck, what did I do wrong this time?"
“Nothing,” he said, voice choked. He let out a loud sigh and said, “You're important to me too, Alan. I need you in my life. No matter what happens, no matter how hard either of us fucks up, please promise me you'll stay my friend.”
"You keep taking my lines," I laughed, but I held up a fist and he bumped it. "We're bros, nothing can keep us apart."
7
Sean
I never considered myself a hunter. Alan had gotten into it because of his dad and his brother. It was one of those traditional family bonding activities. I went along because I always did whatever Alan did. Any opportunity I had to join him in something we could do together, I was right there.
Sitting in a deer stand was boring. Alan's older brother, Andy, had inherited their hunting land from his dad and he maintained it and the small cabin on the property. They only had a handful of deer stands, so Alan and I always had to share. Not that I usually minded cramming myself into a small, enclosed space with the guy I had a boner for, but this year, things were already awkward.
First came the sleeping situation. I'd assumed we would get the cabin's bunk beds, as was tradition. But Andy's son, Hank, had been adamant about being big enough to sleep in the top bunk this year, so Andy took the bottom. Alan’s uncle Gary and cousin Lou got there before we did and claimed the other twin beds, leaving me and Alan to the queen bed in the master bedroom.
"It won't be a problem to share, right?" Andy had asked.
Alan and I both vehemently shook our heads. No, we assured him; it was fine. We were adults, we could do this. We could share a bed and a tiny deer stand and not let things get awkward. If we did, we’d have to admit there was something to be awkward about. We looked into each other's eyes and my face got a little hot. Damn it, for just one weekend could my libido behave? I would have to take three, "showers,” a day if it kept this up. I couldn't help it that Alan looked so sexy in camo, with that three-day scruff of a beard. Something about the way he held his rifle made me want to tear his clothes off and suck his cock right there.
We'd gotten there in time for the evening hunt and immediately donned our camo jackets and boots, our rifles already sighted in, tags and licenses in our pockets. Alan drove the side-by-side along the bumpy path out to the deer stand, a sturdy wooden box on stilts that rested against a tall oak. Alan's dad and brother had chosen this spot for the stand years back because the deer liked to graze in a nearby field. Alan was always after that monster buck, whereas I just wanted another season's worth of meat to stock my freezer. If we could manage that with one kill, even better.
Alan set a propane heater on the floor of the deer stand and fired it up. It kept us warm for a while, but once the sun began to set, the icy wind blew through the deer stand’s windows and cut through my layers of clothing. I shivered, and we both scooted closer to the heater, bumping knees when we did so. I pulled back at the same time as him and we gave each other worried looks.
"I won’t bite," I shook my head and kept my voice low, putting my hands out to warm them in front of the heater.
"I know that," he grumbled, hands shoved in his pockets.
"Then why is it more awkward than a middle school dance in here?"
He chuckled, then stared out the deer stand's window, eyes scanning for game. Not much longer until it would be too dark to see anything. “I guess I just don't know how to act around you now that I know you're…”
"Gay?" I supplied.
"No, not that. I'm fine with you being gay. I thought that was it too, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it didn't bother me. You're still you, and I know that. Being gay changes nothing, because you've always been gay."
I stared at him while he continued to scan the field and trees, eyes alert, hands on his rifle. I hadn't expected him to say anything like that. Hell, it had taken me years to realize that about myself. He was being so understanding, way more than I'd given him credit for. Every time he’d texted me over the past three weeks, I’d been dreading a text telling me not to come hunting, that he didn’t want to me my friend anymore. It hadn’t come, but my anxieties and fears were still there. Hearing this made me realize just how unfounded they’d been.
"What?" he asked, satisfied that nothing was wandering around out there. He gave me a sheepish smile. "Did I say something wrong?"
I shook my head, “No, opposite of that. So finish your sentence. Why don’t you know how to act around me?”
He looked down at his feet, “What I was going to say is I don’t know how to act around you now that I know you’re like—into me.”
I laughed, “You’re used to women being into you all the time. You’ve even had a few crazy stalkers in the past, remember? Why does it matter if I’m into you too? I thought you liked the attention.”
The intense look in those blue eyes of his pinned me to my chair. What was that? My heart raced as he asked his next question. “Are you mad at me for what I did when we were camping?”
“What? The sex or when you told me the sex was a mistake.” I sneered at this last bit, the conversation starting to put me on edge.
He winced, "Both, I guess?"
I shook my head. Time for total honesty. “Alan, the sex was amazing. Better than anything I could have hoped for. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever get to do something like that with you.” I hesitated before continuing, “I know it wasn’t the same for you, feelings-wise, but it's not like you forced yourself on me. I knew what I was getting into. It may have been a mistake for you, but I happily welcomed it. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, though.”
"It was good for you?" He pulled his hands out of his pockets and held them over the heater next to mine.
“Fuck ye
s, you idiot,” I breathed, remembering to keep my voice to a whisper. We didn’t want to scare off any of the deer. “I’ve spent my whole life in the closet, so even though I knew I was gay, I’ve never done much. But it was better than any sex I've had with a woman, and way better than fucking myself with a dildo. It felt right to me.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it, like he wanted to ask something but changed his mind. I pushed his hands out of the way and turned the heater so it was only pointing at me, "No heat until you tell me what's on your mind."
“I—damn it—I was thinking about what kind of dildo you might like,” he mumbled.
I grinned. So, I was giving him dirty thoughts. Time to push a little more. I nodded my chin at his crotch, "Well, I've told you how much I like you, and how far back it goes. We'e seen each other naked enough for me to pick out a dildo roughly the same size as your dick."
“Oh?” He laughed, then flushed a deep red, looking away but still responding. “I guess I should have expected that answer.” He hesitated again, and I waved my hand, urging him to go on. “Okay fine, you’ve got me curious. How do I compare to your Alan-dick dildo?”
“That's like asking if the book or the movie is better. The original is always better.”
We both chuckled at that and went back to watching and waiting. The sun was almost fully below horizon, the pinks and oranges of sunset turning to blue and purple. Dusk was our last chance to shoot something, before it got too dark for us to see the deer moving around.
"Well, there's always tomorrow," I put my gun down once it was too dark to see. "Ready to go back?"
Alan shook his head, surprising me. That look was back in his eyes, dark and hungry, but there was only one thing to devour in this spot, and it was me.
“So not going back, where does that leave us? We can't stay in this deer stand all night, we'll freeze to death. That little heater barely staves off the hypothermia. And it will run out of propane soon.” I stepped toward the ladder but Alan grabbed my wrist, a surprised look on his face as he stared at his hand. He pulled me back toward him and the heater. I stumbled awkwardly and half-fell onto his lap. “What—” He put his mouth on mine, tender at first, then forceful, needy, as he ground his erection into my leg and I let out a brief moan. I let him take the lead, and he pushed his tongue into my mouth, hands holding onto me like he thought I might run. I relaxed into the kiss, my own hard length pressing into his stomach.
We broke apart, gasping for air. I looked into his eyes and all I saw was lust. He kissed his way down my jaw, then to my neck. "I'm not sure what I'm doing," he breathed before he gave the tender skin a hard suck.
My voice shook when I responded, mostly from disbelief. “You're trying to give me hickeys, so it seems we've graduated from middle school to high school.” It didn't matter what he was trying to do, it was working based on how much my cock ached for him. I wanted him to mark me all over, claim me as his own, make people wonder what had happened to me. Fuck, I never thought I was into being marked and possessed by someone, but with Alan I wanted it. I wanted him to want me so much that he couldn’t help himself.
"You're trying to sass me," he chuckled into my neck, then licked the shell of my ear. I moaned and arched into him. That spot was so sensitive, especially with the hesitant way he licked, like he wasn't sure what he wanted to do yet, or he wasn't sure what I liked.
“Are you still cold?” he asked. My ass was facing the heater, so it wasn't bad, and I pressed my front up against his chest, so that wasn't so bad either. I shook my head, and he grinned. “See? I told you I knew how to keep you warm.”
“You sure do.” I said as he shifted, pressing his dick against mine, our camo pants straining against our dual-arousal. “I don't think I can take it if you freak out on me again.”
“I didn't mean to do that, it was stupid of me. I was so worried I would lose your friendship, worried I’d fucked up beyond repair, taken advantage of you, betrayed your trust.”
I put my arms around his neck and rubbed my dick against his through the fabric. He let out a little whimper. “We're best friends, you can't get rid of me that easily.” I grinned, kissing him again. Last time, he'd tasted like marshmallows. This time, he tasted like beef jerky and the bag of Funyuns we'd shared on the way here. I inhaled his scent, woodsmoke and pine. I could keep kissing him forever if it were possible.
"What do we do about this?" he asked, looking down at the tents we'd pitched in our pants.
"Only one thing we can do," I reached down and tugged down my pants to show him I’d gone commando underneath. When Alan realized that, he sucked in a breath, staring at my dick, flushed and dripping with precome.
“Every time I see it, things get more real.”
“Oh, it’s definitely real, and it’s getting lonely. I wish it had a friend to join in.” I gave him a lopsided smile and he undid his pants and slid them down, tugging off his underwear in the same motion. Our dicks stared at each other like they were our lances and we were about to joust.
I scooted closer, and when my dick brushed his, I almost came right there, with the intensity of his silky, hard length touching mine.
"What do we do now?" he asked, staring down at our dicks.
"You're the one running this show, what did you have in mind?"
He let loose a slightly hysterical laugh, "You think I have a plan? I'm not even sure what I'm doing here."
"Are you okay with letting me take over, then?"
He looked into my eyes, the lack of light making the normally intense blue seem grey. "Yeah, okay, sure. You know what you're doing, right?"
I nodded. We didn't need much, though. He had to be as close as I was. I reached between us, grabbing both of our dicks together in my fist. He moaned and I bit my lip. I couldn't come yet, I had to wait. He needed to come first this time, or we could come together. "Next time we hang out, I'm bringing lube," I muttered. I spat into my other hand and switched, using my saliva as lubricant to jerk us off together, our dicks pressed up against each other.
"Sounds good," he choked out before letting loose another moan that filled my body with pleasure.
I let off a little, letting both of us catch our breath. "If it becomes too much for you, tell me to stop, okay?" I didn't want to push him back into his self-doubt. I wanted him to know we were both here because we wanted to, because we were into this.
"Yeah," he panted, "You too."
I kissed him. It was a needy thing, and I wasn't proud of the way I moaned into his mouth when he took over our dual masturbatory experience. "Fuck," I breathed into his ear, taking my turn to lick his ear and suck on his earlobe. The way he twitched and squirmed only fueled me on. I kissed down to his jaw, nuzzling that glorious stubble before I found his neck, kissing and nipping, my teeth sinking into his flesh. He shouted and squirmed against me, squeezing and pumping our dicks in tandem, and I couldn't hold it any longer. I came with a grunt and dug my hands into his camo jacket, fisting the green fabric and rutting into his hand. He was fucking his fist and rubbing against my dick, my come giving additional lubricant. He closed his eyes and said my name, breathy with lust, and I wondered what he was imagining with those eyes closed and our dicks in his fist.
He came all over my shirt, white against green, collapsing back in his chair and gasping. I wiped at the come with my thumb and looked him in the eyes when I stuck it in my mouth, tasting it.
"Fuck, Sean, why is that so hot?" He laughed a little hysterically when he looked at his hand, sticky with spit and come.
"You don't have to if you're not ready," I said, and he wiped it on his pants. "Next time, I want to suck your cock, if you'd be okay with that."
I watched his dick bob at the thought. "Seriously?"
I licked my lips, "I like the taste of your come. I want more of it."
He stared at me, then looked down, his flagging erection catching a second wind. "Jeez three weeks ago, I never thought I'd get hard thinking of your mouth on my dick." H
e put his hand on my cheek and ran his thumb along my lips, his voice growing husky. "But damn, seeing you all debauched like this, all I want to do is punish your mouth with my cock."
I shivered, and it had nothing to do with how cold the deer stand had gotten during our little escapade. "I can take anything you're willing to give me," I kissed him again, rough, not like I'd kiss a girl, this was hard enough to bruise, forceful and dominating. He growled, and I bit his bottom lip, making him gasp. "You’ll find out soon enough that being with a man is different. You don't have to go easy on me."
The heat in his eyes said it all. I was in for it now. I'd invited an entirely different side of Alan into our friendship, and I couldn't wait to find out what that meant for us.
8
Alan
Andy cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at me. Sean had bitten the crap out of me in the deer stand, and a bruise was already starting to purple on my neck. Sean wasn't much better off. I'd left two large hickeys on his neck, which were developing nicely. We’d also gotten back much later than everyone else, and when we’d arrived dinner was already on the table. Sean had to duck into the room to change shirts before we could sit down with the group.
"Did anyone see anything?" I asked casually, helping myself to a serving of mashed potatoes.
"No, a few doe but nothing worth shooting." Andy took a steak off the platter and started cutting it into smaller pieces for Hank.
"We saw a fox!" Hank said in-between mouthfuls of potatoes. "Daddy wanted to shoot it but it ran away too fast."
"Why would you want to shoot a fox?" Sean asked.
"They're pests," Andy shrugged, scraping the plate of cut-up meat onto Hank's plate. He grabbed another steak for himself.
"What happened to your neck?" Hank asked me. Sean choked on his baked beans and cousin Lou started laughing. "What's funny?"