Love Me Still

by E. L. Todd

  “You don’t hate me at all.” He kept his voice low so no one would hear us. “Please have lunch with me.”

  “I’d rather die.”

  His eyes fell in sadness.

  “Cayson, get away from me. I mean it.”

  He released a deep sigh. “I swear on my family I didn’t do it.”

  “Well, you proved how little family means to you.” I wasn’t holding anything back at this point. This man broke my heart and shattered my world. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I’d fallen so deeply in love then became a fool.

  “Baby—”

  “Don’t call me that,” I hissed. “We’re done, Cayson. We were over the moment you stuck your dick where it didn’t belong. I sincerely hope she was worth it.”

  He didn’t react overtly, but his eyes lost their light. “I didn’t do it, Skye. Please believe me.”

  “You wasted years of my life that I’ll never get back.” I was too upset to filter my words. “Now every time I look at you I’ll feel like an idiot for letting you ruin me. Zack shot me in the shoulder and almost killed me, but you’ve hurt me far worse than he ever did.”

  Cayson flinched like I stabbed him, and he closed his eyes like he was in pain. “I didn’t do it.” His voice was barely audible. “I’m not lying. I’m being punished for a crime I didn’t commit. Please listen to me.”

  “You’re seriously going to keep this up?” I snapped. “Lying about it is even worse, Cayson.”

  “I’m not lying.” He opened his eyes and a new fire burned inside. “Skye, if I did it I would own up to it then apologize. But I didn’t do it. I never touched her or wanted her. The only sex I had on that trip was with my hand while thinking of you.”

  I wish he were telling the truth. “Cayson, I wish I could believe you. But I can’t. You didn’t say anything to me when you came home. You didn’t tell me that version of the story. It’s clear you weren’t going to say a word to me. You only made up this story because you got caught. Now get out of my office before I throw you out.”

  “Baby—”

  “Call me that again and I’ll throw this stapler at you.” I snatched it from my desk.

  He pressed his lips tightly together.

  “Now go.”

  He remained rooted to the spot.

  “Go.”

  “If I found the same letter and you told me you didn’t do it I would believe you.”

  “How convenient…”

  His eyes burned in pain again. “I’m serious. I would take your word over some lunatic any day.”

  “You made a fool out of me once. I won’t let you do it again.” I set the stapler down. “Now go before I call security.”

  Cayson didn’t move like he planned on saying something else. Then he bowed his head and walked out, appearing a foot shorter than normal.

  ***

  Trinity handed me a cup of decaffeinated tea. “You doing okay?”

  We were sitting on the yellow couch in her office. The place was beautifully decorated, and Trinity was the coolest boss ever. Every time someone walked into her office, she treated them with respect, the same way our dads treated their workers. She had the grace and authority of a queen.

  “I’ve been better…” I sipped the glass then set it aside. “There were no words to describe what I was feeling. “I’ve lost my best friend…” That was the best way to explain what was going on in my heart, and the words brought tears to my eyes.

  “I’m so sorry.” Her eyes squinted in sadness and she squeezed my shoulder. “It’s still a shock. I just can’t believe he did that to you. It’s so unlike him.”

  “I know…”

  “And the fact he keeps trying to lie his way out of it…is cowardly.”

  “It bothers me too. I wish he would just admit it so we could move on.”

  “Well, we have to move on anyway.”

  My hand rested on my small baby bump. The perfect family I had was gone. Now it was just my son and I. Having him there kept me together. I couldn’t fall apart when I would be a mother very soon. I had to be strong even when that seemed impossible. “I know.”

  Trinity grabbed my hand. “I’m here for you—always.”

  “I know, Trinity.”

  “You will get through this. I promise.”

  That was hard to believe.

  “Have you told anyone?”

  “No. I’m not going to.”

  “Ever?” she asked.

  “When people start to notice, I’ll just say Cayson and I are struggling.”

  “Why don’t you just tell everyone what a scumbag he is?” Trinity raised an eyebrow. “Because his perfect little reputation should be demolished.”

  “I don’t want my son to ever know.”

  Her eyes softened. “Oh…I see.”

  “And I don’t want everyone to hate him. Everyone would come after him with pitchforks and knives.”

  “And he deserves it,” Trinity said coldly.

  “Slade believes him…” I had a feeling Slade would always take Cayson’s side.

  “I know.” Trinity released an irritated sigh. “It irritates the hell out of me. His loyalty is misplaced. He can’t deny the truth right in front of his face. He chooses to stand by Cayson even though he’s as guilty as sin.”

  “Cayson came by the office at lunchtime.”

  “That guy has a lot of nerve.”

  “I sent him away. Thankfully, it worked.”

  “I’ve never wanted to kick someone in the balls so hard in my life.” The anger brewed deep in her eyes.

  “I appreciate your support. I wouldn’t know what to do without it. But…I don’t want this to hurt your relationship with Slade.”

  “Don’t worry about us,” Trinity said. “You’re the only thing that matters right now.”

  “I mean it, Trinity. Don’t pick sides and annihilate each other.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not going to change my mind. And I know he won’t either. It’s just how it is.”

  “I don’t want you to feel the way I do…”

  She brushed it off. “Slade would never cheat on me. He knows I’d break all his fingers so he wouldn’t be able to play guitar anymore.”

  It was the first time I actually chuckled. “That’s pretty brutal.”

  “Hey, I wouldn’t cut off his dick so I’m a good person.”

  “I guess.”

  “You should cut off Cayson’s.”

  I should have thrown dishes at him and slapped him across the face but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “He’s not worth my time.”

  Chapter Four

  Trinity

  Slade and I didn’t speak for nearly a week. When he came home, he ate dinner then played his guitar. He completely tuned me out and didn’t even look at me. Every night, he slept on the couch then left early the following morning.

  I was so pissed off that I didn’t care.

  If he wanted to stand by that piece of shit, fine by me. But my loyalty was to my best friend and cousin, Skye. She was going through a much more difficult time than Cayson, and Slade should be supporting her, not that loser.

  I was sitting at the dining table working on a new design when Slade walked through the door. He didn’t look at me as he emptied his pockets then headed into the bathroom to shower.

  I knew this was the worst fight we ever had but neither one of us were willing to make the compromise. We were both too devoted to our best friends for that.

  We were still trying to get pregnant, as far as I knew. But we hadn’t tried in a week. I was starting to ovulate so now we needed to get busy. Since we were both so angry I wasn’t sure if that was a possibility.

  Slade came out of the bathroom with slightly damp hair then found something in the fridge to eat. Like I didn’t exist, he ignored me. He sat on the couch and watched the game while he drank his beer.

  I kept working.

  At the end of the night, Slade grabbed his pillow and blanket and made h
imself comfortable on the couch. He only wore his boxers because he was always too hot to wear clothes to bed.

  How was I going to do this?

  I headed into the bedroom and fished out some lingerie I got from my bridal shower then put it on. It was skanky and slutty, just the way Slade liked. It was black, and contrasted against my skin in a nice way.

  I sauntered into the living room then slowly approached the couch.

  Slade opened his eyes and looked at me. His eyes roamed over my body but the usual desire wasn’t there. “Not in the mood.”

  “I can get you in the mood,” I said in a sexy voice. My hand moved down his bare chest toward his groin.

  “I don’t think you can.” He pushed my hand away. “Now go to sleep.”

  I put my hands on my hips and felt the anger build. “In case you forgot, we’re trying to make a baby and I’m ovulating right now.”

  He released a frustrated sigh. “So what? There’s always next month.”

  “I don’t want to wait a month.”

  “Well, I don’t want to make love to you when I’m pissed off at you.”

  “Who said anything about making love? You’re going to fuck me and that’s the end of the story.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  I stomped my foot in protest.

  “Are you going to nag at me all night unless I do this?”

  “Yep.”

  He growled before he sat up. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bedroom. He yanked his boxers off with indifference than threw me on the bed. He pulled my thong off then moved on top of me. His dick was hard but the usual look of affection in his eyes was gone. He didn’t kiss me like he usually did. That was fine with me because I didn’t want to kiss him anyway.

  He spread my legs then thrust himself inside me with one fluid motion. He tensed the second he entered me, like he forgot just how good I felt. An inaudible moaned escaped deep from his throat then he started to move inside me.

  I gripped his shoulders and rocked into him from below. It was the least passionate sex we ever had. We were both just trying to get the deed done. We didn’t make eye contact. We hardly looked at each other.

  Then he tensed and released inside me, moving as far in as possible. He gave me his seed until there was nothing left. Then he abruptly pulled out of me and got dressed before he walked out. He shut the door behind him then returned to the couch like nothing just happened.

  Chapter Five

  Arsen

  The moment I entered the house, I headed straight to the bathroom in my room to shower. I didn’t say hello to my two girls. The last thing I wanted was for them to see the pissed off look on my face. All I’d been lately is pissed off.

  I stood under the water for a long time and thought about my conversation with Levi. He wanted a relationship with me, but there was no way in hell I was giving it to him. I just wanted both of them to go away. My life had been nearly perfect before they walked in and demolished it all over again.

  I remained under the running water for a long time, trying to let go of the anger thudding in my veins. My fingers became pruned because I stayed in there for so long. I probably missed dinner but I didn’t care.

  I finally turned off the water when I calmed down slightly and dried off. The bathroom had a girly scent to it, and towels with vibrant colors were everywhere. Silke gave this house a special touch. It was exactly what Abby needed—a mother.

  I brushed my teeth and shaved before I walked into the bedroom with a towel around my waist. Silke sat at the foot of the bed, her legs crossed and an unreadable expression on her face.

  Silke wasn’t stupid. She knew something was wrong. But she didn’t ask me anything. She just gave me that look I was used to.

  I sat beside her then rested my arms on my thighs. My hair was slightly damp and I didn’t bother styling it.

  Silke leaned toward me and sprinkled kisses on my shoulder. Her lips slowly moved to my ear where she kissed the shell. Then she massaged my back with one hand, relaxing me in a way only she could.

  Her lips moved along my jaw and she kissed me slowly. Once my mouth was hers, she gave me her tongue and danced it around mine. She was an amazing kisser, and she always got me fired up when I didn’t think it was possible. Then she broke the kiss, that same look in her eyes.

  I stood in the shower for an hour but didn’t get a control over my emotions. But when I kissed her, it seemed to bring me back to earth. The red haze over my eyes disappeared and I could see clearly again. “I met my mother’s other son today.”

  She didn’t react like she already knew that. “What was he like?”

  “Fine.” He was a decent guy. He was nothing like my mother.

  “And how did you meet him?”

  “He came to the shop.”

  “And did your mother?”

  “No. It was just him.”

  She hooked her arm through mine.

  “He wants a relationship with me. I told him it wasn’t going to happen.”

  “Why not?”

  “Just because we share the same misfortune doesn’t mean we need a relationship.” I knew I was being cold but I didn’t care. I made my own family and I didn’t need anything more than that.

  “Well, he must care about you if he tried to talk to you.”

  I shrugged. “He seems like a nice guy.”

  “Then why not give it a try?”

  “Why force something that wasn’t there to begin with?” I asked coldly. “He was fine without me and I was fine without him. Let’s just move on.”

  “Arsen, you’ve always wanted a family. Maybe now is your chance.”

  “You’re my family,” I whispered. “Ryan is my family.”

  “I know we are,” she said gently. “But you have a brother that wants to know you. He’s not guilty of anything. I understand why you want nothing to do with your mother. But your brother didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I know…”

  “Maybe you should give him a chance.”

  “I had lunch with him. Isn’t that plenty?”

  “Just think it over for a few weeks,” she said. “Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

  I turned to her and saw the pretty eyes I’d stared at countless times. “All my life, I’d been let down. Friends turned their backs on me when I needed them most. Family members abandoned me by the side of the road. I’d never been able to trust anyone because they all pull the same shit. You’re the first person that changed that perspective. And when I was welcomed into your family, I visited a whole new realm. You don’t understand how unnatural your family is. You don’t understand how lucky you are…”

  “Actually, I do.”

  “I just don’t want to go back to that. I have something so amazing. Why do I have to keep being dragged down?”

  “If you spend time with him that doesn’t mean you need to trust him. Keep your guard up and your chin tucked.”

  I gripped my skull in frustration. “But what if I don’t want to.”

  Silke ran her fingers through my hair. “My father took a chance on you when he didn’t know the outcome. He poured his own money into you as an investment. And when you faltered, he never gave up. He understands that people are innately evil but that doesn’t stop him from giving people a chance. Give Levi a chance.”

  “You really think I should?” I asked quietly.

  “Yes. You could be missing out on the greatest relationship you’ve ever known.”

  “Or I might get hurt again.”

  She kissed the corner of my mouth. “That’s the chance we always take.”

  Chapter Six

  Conrad

  I was sitting in a meeting when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I discreetly checked it, making sure it wasn’t anything important. It was a text message from Lexie.

  Miss you. Enclosed was a picture of her chest in a push-up bra. She was pursing her lips to the camera like she was about
to blow me a kiss. The background was the window to her office.

  I quickly shoved my phone back into my pocket and tried not to get hard. Listening in on a meeting for different prototypes wasn’t smart if my mind was on something else. I knew that heathen did it on purpose. She knew about this meeting today.

  I wanted to spank her.

  When the meeting was over, I shook hands and said meaningless words on my way out. Skye hadn’t sat in on the meeting because she was taking care of another client over the phone.

  When I was back in my office, I pulled out my phone. That. Was. Mean.

  Don’t act like you didn’t like it.

  That’s the problem, sweetheart. I did like it.

  Maybe you shouldn’t tell me when you have meetings.

  Lesson learned. I rested my fingertips on my lips as I stared at the screen of my phone. My entire life was lived for this one girl. She was always on my mind, and when she wasn’t the reprieve didn’t last long. She stayed with me for an entire week and I somehow missed her when she was gone. I noticed I was acting more like Cayson, my thoughts only focused on one woman with nice tits. I never went out anymore, unless she was by my side. I started looking up real estate outside the city because I realized I wanted to settle down somewhere quiet and away from the grime of the city.

  Lexie made me into a whole new man.

  I had the ring sitting in a box in my nightstand. Sometimes I stared at it and wondered why I bought it to begin with. Sometimes I imagined her wearing it and listening to people call her Mrs. Preston. I knew she couldn’t have kids but that didn’t mean there weren’t medical procedures we could do to make it happen. And I wasn’t against adoption. I’d do anything to keep this woman in my life.

  That’s how far I’d fallen.

  She fixed my heart after Beatrice shattered it. Somehow, she made me believe in love again when she didn’t believe it herself. We were good together because we fixed one another. Even through our darkest hours, we persevered because of each other.

  She was the one.