by Echo Slater
Frowning at her enthusiasm, I point out, “We don’t know how to fight from those dumb classes.”
“You were in the wrong headspace that week, but I aced shit.”
I look at Raqui and shake my head. “She can’t fight.”
“I’m not saying I can take down a biker,” Hagan mutters, offended by my lack of trust in her ninja skills. “But your cousins are chicks, right?”
“Yes, but they’re trailer-park chicks. Can you handle having your hair yanked out or possibly gnawed on? Those bitches are biters.”
“No,” I say, reflexively reaching for my hair. “I couldn’t even fight the girl with bad extensions.”
Hagan nudges me aside and asks Raqui, “Can I palm-slam them or use kicking? The instructor said I had powerful thighs.”
“Yeah, after you kicked him when you weren’t supposed to,” I point out. “Then, he knocked you down.”
“That was a grown man picking on a child. Anyway, I’m in on this cousin-brawl stuff.”
When Raqui looks at me with her flustered gaze, I’m unable to embrace the killjoy role. “Though I didn’t do a great job, I did fight the lady with the bad extensions.”
“Yeah, we should bring drinks to throw,” Hagan says, bouncing with violent glee.
Raqui grins, seeming less stressed now. “It feels good to have chick allies. The Dicks always turn a simple slap fight into a full-fledged brawl.”
“It’s their balls,” Hagan says immediately. “There are chemicals inside that make them stupid and violent.”
Raqui looks at me for clarification. Shrugging, I admit, “I’m bad at science, but it could be true.”
“I sucked at school stuff. Let’s pretend Hagan’s right and move on.”
“You seem like a lovely person,” Hagan says, approving of how Raqui doesn’t push back against her fake bravado.
We walk toward the bounce house and decorated picnic tables. Dexy and Ginette stop supervising and focus on us. I’m too nervous about getting in a fistfight with trailer-park chicks to worry about the older women.
“They were saying Cross needs a haircut,” Dexy snitches.
Nearby, a blonde woman shrugs. “He does.”
“Kim,” Raqui says, “you’re jealous my boy can grow hair unlike your mutant fuck.”
On the other side of the picnic tables, four Wet Dicks glare at the partygoers. Grizz looks ready to throw down.
Kim snarls down at the smaller Raqui. “My baby is not a mutant.”
“He is pretty fugly,” Hagan says, looking relieved to have someone appreciate her bitchiness for once.
“Who the fuck are you?” Kim growls, focusing her hate on my bestie.
Hagan doesn’t back down. “I’m the friend Raqui hangs out with when she isn’t slumming it with you hairy warts.”
Snickering, I give her a high five for a slick burn.
As Van Halen begins playing, Kim steps closer and sneers full of bitches-gone-wild fury. “Are you two preggers? If not, I’m punching both of your ugly faces.”
“Right because that’s the reason you won’t hit Raqui,” I mutter, trying to sound tough. “You just know she’d lay you out, bitch.”
Hagan likes my comment and high-fives me.
When Kim reaches for my arm, I scream at the top of my lungs. Everyone goes still. Since Hagan knows my real scream isn’t so loud, she’s the only one who doesn’t look freaked out.
“You can’t fight with little kids around!” I yell at Kim, who stares at me as if I’m nuts. “Are you fucking animals? And what if you injure the birthday boy? I can’t imagine you’d enjoy how his daddy would handle such a horrifying turn of events.”
Kim glances over her shoulder at a seething Grizz. Her trashy friends and maybe relatives—I can’t tell who’s related—also glance at him before glaring at me.
“You need to be nicer or get the fuck off the Ranch!” Hagan hollers and wags her finger at Kim.
“You heard them,” Raqui says, grinning at how she has chick support.
“Fine, we’ll leave, then.”
“Don’t forget the mutant,” Hagan mutters and then grimaces at me as if feeling bad for making fun of a kid.
“Bitch,” Kim spits out and throws a punch.
“Get her!” I cry for no reason and lunge at Kim before she can hit Hagan.
Once I knock the ballsy blonde bitch to the ground, I realize I don’t know what to do next. Is hitting Kim going too far? Her hand slapping my face answers that question.
“Cameo!” Hagan cries at the sight of me getting hit.
I catch sight of Raqui waddling over to a crying Cross. Kim ruined that little boy’s party. Fuck the rules or my lack of skills! I have fists! I’m using them and getting payback for the crying baby!
I do my windmill move but with fists instead of open palms. Kim tries to shove me off her, but I have powerful thighs from cheerleading. I tighten them around her hips and ride her like I’m a rodeo star.
Everything happens so quickly. Around us, chaos breaks out. A second woman tries to grab me. Hagan shoves her. They start fighting badly. Some guy throws drinks, nearly hitting Cross and Raqui.
Fed up, the rattled blonde cries, “Grizz!”
Well, that’s all he needs to take over!
Large men rush over. Though I see them coming, my focus remains on Kim under me. She’s clearly better at fighting and digs her nails into my bare arms.
With my punches proving useless, I lift up my ass before slamming back down and knocking the wind out of her. I’m just getting my groove when someone lifts me off Kim. I’m suddenly a damn rag doll getting placed elsewhere.
“Hey,” I grumble and find a smiling Bishop.
“Mad Dog won’t want you hurt,” he says and gives me a wink.
“He wouldn’t want you flirting with me, either,” I grumble, still mad over how I might have won that fight if given enough time to figure out how.
Hagan joins me after Cash carries her over his shoulder and plops her down.
“I was losing,” my bestie whispers in my ear. “The lady’s arms are twice the size of mine. Some of her mass might be muscle. No way was I winning. I just ducked a lot and tried not to cry.”
Proud she didn’t give in to her tears, I hug Hagan to me. I can’t have Phil and Arlene find us crying.
“She clawed you,” Hagan says, noticing my scratched-up arms.
“I might have rabies. Wait, is that just a bite thing?”
“Better get your shots anyway,” Hagan says, grinning before realizing Cross is still crying. “He’s just a little boy.”
I look at the child in Raqui’s arms and feel guilty for maybe making things worse. My temper rises, and I take a nearby cup of punch from a table and throw it at Kim.
“Bitch!” she screams and makes a move for me again.
Kim slams into Grizz’s unmovable body. With his back to me, I can’t see what his face is doing. Based on Kim’s terrified expression and the way she scrambles away, I’d guess he isn’t smiling.
“What the fuck?” Mad Dog yells as he runs over with my parents doing their suburbanite jog behind him.
Diving for his arms, I explain, “I tried to help Raqui, but I made it worse, maybe.”
“Not really,” Hagan says, patting my back. “You almost won your fight.”
Mad Dog glares at everyone, clearly unsure who to blame. I point out the troublemaker who grabs her kid and hurries away.
“I punched her in the nose,” I say, gripping his shirt and drawing his attention to me. “It might have even hurt her.”
Noticing I’m excited, Mad Dog smirks. Then, he hears Cross crying and sees my arms.
“I’m killing a bitch.”
“No murder,” Arlene mutters, frowning at him before checking my arms. “You can trash that lady’s car, maybe.”
“It’s not much of a car,” Phil says and looks at where Kim peels out of the parking lot. “Might not be worth the effort.”
“How ab
out arson?” Hagan asks, still pumped from her failed fight. “Can you set fire to her trailer while it’s empty?”
“No arson,” Arlene says, frowning again.
“What if the ugly kid’s toys get destroyed?” I ask my bestie. “He already has a crap mom, so why burn up his stuff, too?”
“Oh, yeah,” Hagan mumbles. “Huh, crime is complicated.”
Mad Dog wants so badly to roll his eyes at our conversation. He even glances over his shoulder at the other men as if to say we’re nuts. But then, he runs his fingers over my scratched arms and needs reassurance.
“I’m going to kiss you,” he warns, angry at his inability to punish anyone for my injury.
“Sure, have at it.”
We suck face to reassure us both of how I’m okay despite my second attempt at fighting. Around us, the chaos dies down. Raqui gets crap from her family and friends about how we’re all losers. Grizz makes growly comments about how they’re white trash. I think Stoney might call one of the women a methhead.
Raqui looks sad while Cross watches the other kids leave.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “We messed up.”
“No, they sucked. The other kids weren’t really playing with Cross anyway,” she says, rubbing his head as he hides his face in the crook of her neck.
Grizz exhales hard and frowns at his club brothers as if they’re to blame. I don’t understand at first but then realize he wants them to add kids to the Ranch for Cross. I grin at how cute the big scary man can be over his kid.
Dexy appears next to me with peroxide and cotton balls. “Kim’s probably not a clean woman, and those scratches could get infected.”
My parents reintroduce themselves to Dexy, who makes small talk while cleaning my arms. I hold Mad Dog’s gaze and reassure him I’m fine. I mostly feel bad for Cross and Raqui.
Maybe feeling left out of the drama, Ginette goes past eyeballing an unaware Hagan and pokes her.
“You’re the troublemaker.”
“I’m not anything,” Hagan mutters after realizing everyone’s looking at her. “What are you on, lady? Drugs are bad, ‘kay?”
“Listen here, little missy.”
“I’m not little,” Hagan interrupts. “I’m taller than you, lady.”
“Stop calling me lady.”
“I don’t remember your fucking name.”
“Hagan,” Arlene says, stepping between them. “This is, um—”
I helpfully remind them with, “Stoney’s mom, Ginette.”
Hagan frowns at the biker as if he needs to put his mom on a leash. He glares back at her, not budging from his spot next to Cash.
“Whatever,” Hagan says, now frowning at Ginette. “I’m just here to support my good friends, Cameo and Raqui.”
The blonde stops pouting over her ruined party and grins at Hagan. Then, her gaze finds Grizz, who nods. Aw, they approve of Hagan!
Ginette isn’t impressed by all the shared happy smiles. Back in Hagan’s face, she ignores Arlene and frowns at the teenager who’s pissed her off.
“You better not start trouble around here.”
“Ginette,” Mad Dog warns.
“No, we have a good life out here. Now, I have no issues with that one,” she says, gesturing toward me. “She’s been right as rain since we met. But this one is a troublemaker.”
“I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet, lady,” Hagan hisses, looking past Arlene to glare at Ginette. “I’m a fucking angel.”
I leave Mad Dog and hug Hagan. “She knows Stoney thinks you’re hot,” I whisper in my bestie’s ear. “And you’re seventeen, which is against the rules.”
“I’m innocent of all accusations,” Hagan murmurs in my ear. “You know I’m never guilty.”
“You’re a good egg,” I say, mimicking what her grandfather always called her.
Hagan is clearly rattled after the fight and now having everyone’s attention on her. She wants to hide in Mad Dog’s house, but I insist we hang out with Raqui.
“She wants us here,” I say, and Hagan glances at the woman not much older than us.
“I’m a nice person who cares about others,” Hagan says in a small voice.
“You’re the best. You protected me.”
“And you jumped on that bitch when she tried to hit me.”
“Besties watch out for each other,” I say as we share a smile.
Hagan settles down while Arlene gets into an argument with Ginette over how her daughters are not, in fact, poison pills sent to destroy the garden.
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” my mom mutters and looks to Mad Dog for help. “Is she not well?”
“Oh, now, I’m crazy!” Ginette cries and throws her arms in the air.
I notice several Dicks shrug as if maybe, yeah, she is slightly nuts. Hmm, her behavior does make more sense when insanity is factored into the equation. But then again, I’m terrible at math.
While Bishop and Stoney deal with Ginette, Hagan and I join Raqui.
“Cross wants to jump in the bounce house,” she says, sad again. “I can’t climb in and out without, well, issues.”
I look at her baby bump and then at the boy. Hagan already knows where my brain is headed.
“Let’s do this thing,” my bestie says, rocking on her heels.
Cross isn’t so sure about two strange girls joining him in the bounce house. He wants to play with kids his age, but they left. He also knows the bounce house will go soon.
I take one of his little hands, and Hagan takes the other. We start gently bouncing. His dark eyes light up as we get a nice rhythm going. Raqui stands at the doorway, smiling at her baby’s happy face.
Hagan and I might not be tough chicks with solid fighting skills, but we manage to find our groove here on the Ranch. With the troublemakers gone and Ginette subdued with a joint, I hope Cross and Raqui can enjoy the rest of the party.
MAD DOG — YOU OUGHTA KNOW
My rage over a rancid bitch hurting Cameo fades once I see my woman bouncing with Hagan and Cross. If it were me in there, I’d be faking shit for the kid. But Cameo is clearly having fun. She makes the best out of situations, and I don’t doubt she’ll be happy here on the Ranch.
Grizz pats me hard on the back and mutters, “You did good with that one.”
“Yeah, I got real lucky. Even her parents are righteous.”
Grizz glances back at where Phil and Arlene talk about gardening with Dexy. Inside the bounce house, Cross squeals with excitement.
“That sound is music, man,” Grizz tells me in a soft voice I never believed he was capable of until he met Raqui. “That right there might be in your future.”
“No doubt, but mine will be little when Cross is big.”
“Yeah, too late for my boy to have a Ranch pal,” he says, unable to hide his disappointment. “But the new one might be closer to your kid in age. Besides, Raqui wants at least one more if this new baby is a boy.”
“When are we finding out what your baby’s packing?” I ask, despite knowing Raqui’s secret plan.
“She said the surprise will happen after we play paintball.”
With Cross, Raqui learned his sex ahead of time. For the new baby, she decided to be surprised. Dexy is the only one who knows.
While I get geared up for paintball, Cameo and Hagan chase Cross around the yard. He finally gets so riled up he runs to Raqui for safety. This leads to a lot of laughter. Even Arlene seems to be having a ball.
Stoney, though, shoves me aside when walking toward the house where Grizz waits for us.
I glance at Bishop, who catches on to my plan. We grab Stoney from behind and pin him to the side of the Hanger. In the distance, Phil notices our behavior and gives me a disapproving look. Yeah, Papa Sutton isn’t a fan of the Wet Dicks’ form of intervention.
“Spill the reason you’re acting like a crybaby bitch,” I demand while Stoney remains stuck to the wall.
“I can’t stand your ugly face, man.”
“I’m in no hurry to get anywhere,” Bishop says, and I believe my carefree friend could keep Stoney pinned for hours. “You feel free to work through your shit. When you’re ready to talk, we’ll be here to listen.”
Stoney rolls his eyes and pushes off the wall. He’s a crafty fuck, but our body weight traps him.
“Eat shit, boys,” he growls, struggling to break free. “Grizz is waiting.”
“Then, you best use your big-boy words and explain the bug up your ass,” I tell Stoney. He instantly tries to grab my balls and force me to back off. “Those belong to Cameo, so hands off, perv.”
“Cameo,” he whines, mocking me. “That’s all you’ve talked about for weeks.”
“I found the woman I’ll spend the rest of my life loving, motherfucker. What else would I be talking about?”
“Our club, our hogs, the Ranch, anything besides her.”
“Why?”
Refusing to bend, Stoney clams up and glares at me.
Bishop offers a half-smile and chuckles. “Is the reason for all this fussing a tall, dark-eyed brunette with a big mouth?”
Stoney’s blue eyes harden. “She’s seventeen.”
“I know that,” I reply.
“Yeah, and I did, too, after I asked those dweebs you hit up for info about Cameo.”
“How did you even know about them?” I ask while keeping him from breaking free.
“Cash told me. Even pointed out the shitheads when they were at The Cherry.”
Bishop and I glance at Cash nearby. “And you didn’t think to mention anything to me?”
“No, not really,” he says, smirking. “I’m too busy to keep track of your love life, guys.”
Sighing, I frown at Stoney. “When did this happen?”
“After the townie party.”
“Why didn’t you ask me?”
“I’m sick of your voice.”
“Low blow,” I say, shaking my head. “You’re mean.”
Stoney finally stops struggling and rests his head against the wall. “Why the fuck is she seventeen?”
“Because God hates you,” I say rather than explain how birthdays work.
“Seems that way. Meanwhile, you have everything handed to you.”
“Fuck that. I had shitty parents. At least, you have a sweet mom.”