III
"Oh, mother," said Mabel, kneeling by the bed; "cannot you understandwhat has happened?"
She had tried desperately to tell the old lady of the extraordinarychange that had taken place in the world--and without success. It seemedto her that some great issue depended on it; that it would be piteous ifthe old woman went out into the dark unconscious of what had come. Itwas as if a Christian knelt by the death-bed of a Jew on the firstEaster Monday. But the old lady lay in her bed, terrified but obdurate.
"Mother," said the girl, "let me tell you again. Do you not understandthat all which Jesus Christ promised has come true, though in anotherway? The reign of God has really begun; but we know now who God is. Yousaid just now you wanted the Forgiveness of Sins; well, you have that;we all have it, because there is no such thing as sin. There is onlyCrime. And then Communion. You used to believe that that made you apartaker of God; well, we are all partakers of God, because we are humanbeings. Don't you see that Christianity is only one way of saying allthat? I dare say it was the only way, for a time; but that is all overnow. Oh! and how much better this is! It is true--true. You can see itto be true!"
She paused a moment, forcing herself to look at that piteous old face,the flushed wrinkled cheeks, the writhing knotted hands on the coverlet.
"Look how Christianity has failed--how it has divided people; think ofall the cruelties--the Inquisition, the Religious Wars; the separationsbetween husband and wife and parents and children--the disobedience tothe State, the treasons. Oh! you cannot believe that these were right.What kind of a God would that be! And then Hell; how could you ever havebelieved in that?... Oh! mother, don't believe anything so frightful....Don't you understand that that God has gone--that He never existed atall--that it was all a hideous nightmare; and that now we all know atlast what the truth is.... Mother! think of what happened lastnight--how He came--the Man of whom you were so frightened. I told youwhat He was like--so quiet and strong--how every one was silent--ofthe--the extraordinary atmosphere, and how six millions of people sawHim. And think what He has done--how He has healed all the oldwounds--how the whole world is at peace at last--and of what is going tohappen. Oh! mother, give up those horrible old lies; give them up; bebrave."
"The priest, the priest!" moaned the old woman at last.
"Oh! no, no, no--not the priest; he can do nothing. He knows it's alllies, too!"
"The priest! the priest!" moaned the other again. "He can tell you; heknows the answer."
Her face was convulsed with effort, and her old fingers fumbled andtwisted with the rosary. Mabel grew suddenly frightened, and stood up.
"Oh! mother!" She stooped and kissed her. "There! I won't say any morenow. But just think about it quietly. Don't be in the least afraid; itis all perfectly right."
She stood a moment, still looking compassionately down; torn by sympathyand desire. No! it was no use now; she must wait till the next day.
"I'll look in again presently," she said, "when you have had dinner.Mother! don't look like that! Kiss me!"
It was astonishing, she told herself that evening, how any one could beso blind. And what a confession of weakness, too, to call only for thepriest! It was ludicrous, absurd! She herself was filled with anextraordinary peace. Even death itself seemed now no longer terrible,for was not death swallowed up in victory? She contrasted the selfishindividualism of the Christian, who sobbed and shrank from death, or, atthe best, thought of it only as the gate to his own eternal life, withthe free altruism of the New Believer who asked no more than that Manshould live and grow, that the Spirit of the World should triumph andreveal Himself, while he, the unit, was content to sink back into thatreservoir of energy from which he drew his life. At this moment shewould have suffered anything, faced death cheerfully--she contemplatedeven the old woman upstairs with pity--for was it not piteous that deathshould not bring her to herself and reality?
She was in a quiet whirl of intoxication; it was as if the heavy veil ofsense had rolled back at last and shown a sweet, eternal landscapebehind--a shadowless land of peace where the lion lay down with thelamb, and the leopard with the kid. There should be war no more: thatbloody spectre was dead, and with him the brood of evil that lived inhis shadow--superstition, conflict, terror, and unreality. The idolswere smashed, and rats had run out; Jehovah was fallen; the wild-eyeddreamer of Galilee was in his grave; the reign of priests was ended. Andin their place stood a strange, quiet figure of indomitable power andunruffled tenderness.... He whom she had seen--the Son of Man, theSaviour of the world, as she had called Him just now--He who bore thesetitles was no longer a monstrous figure, half God and half man, claimingboth natures and possessing neither; one who was tempted withouttemptation, and who conquered without merit, as his followers said. Herewas one instead whom she could follow, a god indeed and a man as well--agod because human, and a man because so divine.
She said no more that night. She looked into the bedroom for a fewminutes, and saw the old woman asleep. Her old hand lay out on thecoverlet, and still between the fingers was twisted the silly string ofbeads. Mabel went softly across in the shaded light, and tried to detachit; but the wrinkled fingers writhed and closed, and a murmur came fromthe half-open lips. Ah! how piteous it was, thought the girl, howhopeless that a soul should flow out into such darkness, unwilling tomake the supreme, generous surrender, and lay down its life because lifeitself demanded it!
Then she went to her own room.
* * * * *
The clocks were chiming three, and the grey dawn lay on the walls, whenshe awoke to find by her bed the woman who had sat with the old lady.
"Come at once, madam; Mrs. Brand is dying."
Lord of the World Page 18