by Rebel Hart
It felt nice to be able to gush about Hannah. I’d severely underestimated this one, obvious thing in common Tristan and I had.
“She’s probably locked so much about herself away, which is sad because she’s…” I could already feel my good mood leaving. “Well, she's pretty incredible.”
“She is,” Tristan agreed. “This whole thing between you guys sucks.” I looked over at him and he retreated. “Oh no, that came out wrong. I just meant because it feels like you guys are kind of crazy about each other. It sucks that there’s such a barrier. I mean…” He started to fumble for his words. “I mean if Hannah was more… Open to the idea, would you give her another chance, or is it just ruined now?”
“Can I tell you something I’ve never even told Aria?” I asked.
Tristan jumped up like I’d just offered him gold. “Yes! I won’t tell her, I swear.”
I laughed. “I am so terrified that I’m never gonna get over Hannah. I’ve always operated under this notion that no one is ever going to live up to her, and at this point I’m just on the hunt for a consolation prize. When I think about being with someone other than her, it breaks my heart. Ever since I had my interview for Y.I.I.P., I’ve been having this dream. It’s ten years later, and I’m coming back to visit Aria and my sisters. I bump into Hannah and all those feelings come rushing back. Sometimes it’s nightmarish—she’s married to some guy and has kids and is just living that way, less than happy, all because she was too afraid to be herself. That’s a long answer to your question, but if I thought Hannah wanted to actually be with me, like actually be with me and no one else and not be afraid of who knows, I’d be jumping with joy. But I know she doesn’t.”
The frown on Tristan’s face told me I was right. “She loves you. There’s no question about that, but everything else… Yeah. I don't know.”
Fortunately, before we could drift too far off down that depressing path, Aria showed up. She came bounding up with a stack of something postcard-sized in her hand, immediately pulling two off the top and handing them to Tristan and me.
“Hey guys!” She gave Tristan a peck on the lips and me one on the cheek. “Graduation invitations are here!”
Tristan gave me a goofy glance and then took one of his and handed it to Aria. “Here’s mine.”
She took it from him, twisting her face at first as she studied the letters and then her jaw dropped. “Honey! Are the letters made from things I’ve written you?”
He responded with a dorky smile. “Mayyyybe.”
“Aw!” she threw her arms around him in a huge hug. “That’s so sweet. I love it. Thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it. You know, graduation is a big deal to me, but you’re a bigger deal.”
I gagged. “That was too sweet, I am going to die.”
“Shut up,” Aria grumbled, then looked down at her own invitation in my hand. “You know… There’s still time to change these. We haven’t mailed them out yet since my party isn’t until a little later in the summer.”
“No,” I replied simply.
“Change them?” Tristan asked. “Why?”
“Aria and her mother are actual angels from heaven, and because my parents obviously aren’t throwing me a graduation party, they graciously offered to share Aria’s. I’ve told them already though, that it is very sweet and considerate, but I’m okay. It’s a big deal that Aria’s graduating and her friends and family want to celebrate her.” Aria opened her mouth to respond, but I cut her off. “And I know you wouldn’t mind, but I do. That’s a celebration of you.”
“You’ll come at least though, right?” Aria asked.
I playfully smacked her arm. “Are you kidding me? We’re gonna party it up! The last big hoorah before I leave for New York.”
Aria raised her eyebrows. “New York?”
“Yeah,” I said with a shrug.
She started to smile. “Is that optimism or a confirmation?”
I smiled to match hers. “I got the call this morning.”
She jumped up and let out a yelp. “Oh my god! Scholarship?”
I did an arrogant little dance. “Full ride for all four years.”
She tossed her arms around me. “Congratulations!”
“That’s awesome! Congrats!” Tristan said.
Aria pulled back, but kept her hands on my shoulder. “Okay, that we are celebrating! What are you doing after school today? Can you come over for dinner?”
I nodded. “I can do that.”
She looked at Tristan. “You’ll come too, right Tris?”
“Hell yeah! I’m there!” he said. “This is too big not to celebrate!”
School passed in the blink of an eye with the promise of a celebration on the horizon. We went directly to Aria’s after school, and I was surprised and delighted to see that Aria’s mom took the rest of the day off of work in order to decorate their backyard in celebration of me. When I walked in, she jumped up and fanned out a huge “Congrats” banner, an action only dwarfed by the sudden appearance of a man I didn’t recognize at all popping out with a bouquet of balloons.
“Hey! Congratulations, Arden!” he said.
“Th-thanks… sir?” I said.
“Taylor?” Tristan said. “What are you doing here?”
“Arden, this is Taylor, Tristan’s older brother. Taylor, this is my best friend Arden,” Aria introduced.
Taylor handed the balloons over to me with a smile, and it was then that I realized the striking resemblance he did bear to Tristan. “Thanks.”
“Mom, I think Arden would have been okay without strangers at dinner?” Aria said.
Aria’s mom giggled. “He’s not here for dinner. I’m loaning him some stuff for his presentation at work, then he saw the stuff I’m piling up for your graduation party and we lost track of time.”
“Tristan, look at this,” Taylor said. He grabbed his brother’s arm and dragged him into the living room. Aria, her mother and I followed them into the living room as Taylor showed Tristan the display board Aria’s mom was working on. “Look at little baby Aria!”
Tristan nodded with a smile “I know. Isn’t it disgustingly cute?”
“I wanna do one like this for yours!” Taylor said.
Tristan shook his head violently. “No. I already made Dad and Andrea promise no baby pictures.”
“But you were such a cuuuute baby,” Taylor whined. “Come on! Just one!”
“No!” Tristan said.
Taylor grabbed Aria’s arm. “Come on, Aria. He does everything you tell him to. Help me out.”
The conversation quickly developed into a full discussion about graduation party stuff, and I started to feel out of place. As quietly as I could I slipped outside into the backyard and took a seat at the table that Aria’s mom had decorated with a checkered tablecloth and flowers. I had a few missed texts from Suli, so I decided to take the opportunity to text her back.
* * *
Yes, I’m still on hiatus, but
man, it’s killing me right now.
Uh oh. Is little miss perfect
not giving you the exciting
life she promised?
Be nice. She’s trying but
with all the graduation stuff
right now, I’m just feeling
a little left out.
Well sure. Not being able to
have all that stuff has got to
be frustrating.
Hey! You know what?
We’re your family!
We’ll throw you a party!
Really?
Yeah! No booze or drugs.
Nothing you’re abstaining
from, but we’ll have dinner.
I’ll even convince Codie to
calm tf down.
That actually sounds
really awesome. Just us?
Just us.
* * *
“Hey.” I looked up from my phone and Aria was walking over. She had a wince on her face and sank down i
nto a chair next to me. “I’m sorry. We got all carried away in grad party stuff. That was totally insensitive.”
“No it wasn’t. You’re allowed to discuss your graduation parties,” I said.
She nodded at my phone. “Who ya chatting with?”
“Suli,” I admitted.
Aria looked visibly uncomfortable, but forced her way through it. “Ah… Anything I should be concerned about?”
“No, nothing. She was just talking about throwing me a graduation dinner. Just us and our little group of friends. No liquor or drugs or anything, just dinner.”
“Oh,” Aria said. “That sounds nice.” It sounded like she meant it.
“Really?”
“Yeah. If there’s nothing problematic or anything like that, just dinner. I think that’d be okay. It wouldn’t be at The Undersound, right?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No. I assume maybe her apartment or something.”
“Would that make you feel a little better about all of this?” Aria asked.
“Yeah, it really would. You know, I love you guys so much and I can’t wait to celebrate with you, but they’re like a little group of people that are just mine, ya know? I really feel like they’re my family. It’ll be nice to have a thing with just them.”
Understanding registered warmly across Aria’s face. “Then I think you should do it. It’ll be nice.”
I hugged my arms around her. “I love you so much.”
Aria returned the hug. “I love you too, just behave yourself okay?”
“I will. I promise.”
16
Arden
Sifting my way through the sea of blue gowns and hats, I kept a lookout for Aria or Tristan. Families were already collapsing on their graduates, flashing pictures, handing over flowers, and squeezing in hugs. I didn’t even bother looking for my family because I knew they wouldn’t be there. My sisters had told me that they’d make some attempt to come, but given that neither of them were old enough to drive yet, and my parents staunchly supervised anything they did when they left the house, I wasn’t holding my breath.
I was just about to pick a spot on the wall and stand off to the side when someone grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the crowd. I let out a little yelp and turned to see Aria’s mom hanging onto me. She had a huge smile on her face as she shoved a bouquet of yellow roses into my arms.
“Hi honey!” she sang, dragging me into a hug. “Congratulations! I am so proud of you.”
“Thank you!” I said, returning the hug.
She pulled back and rubbed her hands along the side of my face sweetly. “You worked so hard this year and overcame so much.” Tears started to fill her eyes. “I’m so happy you came into our lives. I always wanted another daughter, and now I have one.”
My heart swelled up with happiness at the statement. “Aw, mama!” I squeezed her tightly. “You’ve made me feel so special and loved these past eight months. Thank you so much!”
She leaned back, but kissed my cheek. “I will never understand how someone couldn’t love every part of you. You are truly wonderful.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“There’s Aria!” Aria’s grandmother on her father’s side had a hand in the air and was waving Aria down. “Baby! Over here!”
Aria slipped through the crowd, and she of course had Tristan attached to her. “Hi!”
There were hugs all around as Aria and Tristan greeted her family members and in a matter of minutes, Tristan’s family had found their way over as well. They swirled up into a torrent, taking pictures, exchanging hugs and congratulations, and discussing dinner plans for the evening. Aria and Tristan’s families decided to celebrate together making a reservation at an Italian restaurant not far from school, but I bowed out. There was only so much watching other families celebrate and be happy that I could take for one day.
“You’re sure you’ll be okay?” Aria asked as we were all walking into the parking lot after the graduation festivities had officially died down.
“I promise. I’m gonna go catch up with my sisters and then Suli’s dinner thing that she planned is this evening. It’s supposed to be a surprise, so she’s gonna pick me up.”
“And no—”
“Drinking or drugs,” I cut her off. “Nothing illegal, I promise.”
“Okay.” She pet the side of my face, reminding me of her mom. “I love you so much. Call me when you get home tonight, okay? I don’t care how late it is.”
“I can do this.” It was me who initiated that hug, dragging her in and squeezing her tightly. “Aria, thank you so much for everything. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished this year and I feel so lucky I get to call you my friend.”
As Aria pulled back, she wiped some tears from her eyes. “Come on, you’re gonna make my makeup run.” She smiled at me. “I love you so much, and I’m so happy that I found you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” I gave her one more squeeze before letting her go back to her family and waving them all off as they drove away, then I climbed into my car and called Suli. “Hello?”
“Hey graduate!” she said. “I am soooo sorry we couldn’t be there for your actual graduation. That sucks that you weren’t able to get tickets.”
“Yeah. They were all gone by the time you brought it up. It’s okay though. Aria’s family was wonderful to me, and now I get to come and see you guys,” I said. “When are you picking me up?”
“When can I?” Suli asked. “I’ll come as soon as you’re ready.”
“I”m gonna go home and change and check in with my sisters. Shouldn’t take longer than an hour?” I said.
“I will be there in an hour and a half then. Text me when you’re ready, just in case. If you need more time with your sisters, just let me know. We’ve got all night.”
“Sounds good. Thank you, Suli.”
I could hear her smiling on the other side of the phone. “No problem. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
“Bye.”
As expected, my parents didn’t even acknowledge me when I walked into the house. They were sitting in the living room and didn’t look up as I passed by. It was fine with me though, because if they were committed to ignoring me, then it would make it easier to come and go. I walked up the stairs and opened the door to my room and stopped short.
The entire room was decorated with balloons, a congrats grad banner, and a cake. My sisters were standing in the center of the room, both dressed really formally and each had gift bags in their hands. “Congratulations!” they screamed.
“Wow!” I smiled so large that my cheeks hurt. “This is amazing!”
“Arden, we’re so sorry we couldn’t make it to your graduation,” Willow said. “We tried, honest.”
“I know, it’s okay.” I opened my arms and they both walked into my embrace.
“Pictures!” Whitney said.
They doted over me as if they actually had been at the graduation. Taking pictures and hugging me, giving me their gifts, and telling me how proud they were of me. It actually made me feel like I hadn’t missed out on much. It wasn’t long before my mom came up to break up the festivities, using the excuse that we were being too loud. Willow tried to argue, but I stopped her, not wanting her to catch any heat on my account. I had to get to my dinner with Suli and my other friends anyway, so it was okay.
I sent my mom off before hugging my sisters and then sending Suli a text to confirm that I was ready to leave. My sisters left my room and I changed into something better to wear to dinner. I gave the most effort I’d put into my appearance in a while and then made my way back downstairs to wait outside for Suli to come. It was only about fifteen minutes before she was pulling up outside and I squawked out laughter at the sight of her car.
It was decorated with all sorts of car paint and a message on the back windshield that said, “CLASS OF 2021.”
Suli hopped out of the driver’s seat and ran over to me before popping a mini-confetti can
non and sending a rain of colorful pieces down over me. “Congratulations!”
“Thank you!” I said.
She leaned in and whispered, “I’d kiss you, but I’m sure your parents are watching and I don’t wanna freak them out.”
I looked over my shoulder, imagining my parents peeping out the window, and turned around and flung my arm around Suli’s waist and pulled her in. She didn’t fight me when I pressed my lips against hers, hoping that my parents were seeing the gay and wondering if it was contagious.
“Ooh,” Suli said. “Okay.”
“Let’s go. They’re Christian, but that doesn’t mean they won’t shoot us.”
She laughed. “Okay, let’s go.”
We loaded into her car and drove off, and when I looked over I could have sworn I saw someone peeking through the window on the door. When I blinked they were gone.
“I hope you haven’t been too bummed today,” Suli said as she pulled off.
I shook my head, remembering all of the ways I’d been pampered that day. “No, actually, it’s been really good. Aria’s mom brought me flowers and told me she feels like I’m the second daughter she always wanted. Aria and Tristan of course fawned over me all morning while we were getting ready to walk. My sisters threw me a little mini party in my room with a cake, balloons and presents. It was so cute. They insisted upon taking pictures in my gown, doing the whole thing. I loved it. Plus, there’s you and the dinner you guys have planned. I mean, honestly, I feel like the most important girl in the world.”
“Good,” Suli said. “You are the most important girl in the world, so I’m glad everyone is making you feel that way.”
She reached over and took my hand and I kissed the back of it. Suli was great. She wasn’t the healthiest relationship for me by any means, but it was a nice way to pass the time until New York, and to keep my mind off of Hannah.
We rode in silence after that point, at least until I noticed Suli take the highway going in the opposite direction from her house and towards downtown. I thought maybe she was just avoiding traffic or something, but long after the last opportunity to redirect and get to where she lived, she continued into downtown until it was clear that was her destination.