CHAPTER VI
THE SECRET OF BEAUTY
Mr. and Mrs. Wayland had become so attached to Madge that theywere the more ready to listen to her solicitation that they shouldaccompany her East and visit their old haunts. "Very likely I shallreturn with you," said the young girl, "and make Santa Barbara myhome."
This indeed was her plan should defeat await her. She had becomeattached to the seaside town, as we do to all places that witnessthe soul's deepest experiences and best achievements. She had learnedthere to hope for the highest of earth's gifts; she believed that shecould live there a serene, quiet, unselfish life, her secret stillunknown, should that be her fate.
The old German professor was almost heartbroken at her departure. "Itvas alvays so," he said; "ven mine heart vas settled on someding,den I lose it;" but she reassured him by saying that there was nocertainty that she would not return.
Mary Muir was so overwhelmed with astonishment that at first shescarcely returned Madge's warm embrace. She expected to find hersister much stronger and better; but this radiant, beautiful girl,half a head taller than herself--was she the shadowy creature whohad gone away with what seemed a forlorn hope? She held Madge off andlooked at her, she drew her to a mirror and looked at her again, thenexclaimed, "This is a miracle! Why did you not tell me?"
"I wished to surprise you. I did write that I was better."
"This is not better; it is best Oh, Madge, you have grown so prettyyou almost take away my breath--all travel-stained and weary, too,from your journey! What will not Henry say? I should scarcely haveknown you. Surely now you need not go back. You are the picture ofhealth."
"We shall see," said Madge, quietly. "It may be best if I find thatthe East does not agree with me." She was fully determined to keepopen her line of retreat.
Mr. Muir, in his quiet way, enjoyed the transformation as greatlyas did his wife. He had foreseen changes for the better, but had nothoped for anything like this, he declared.
"I just want to be near when Graydon first sees you!" exclaimedvoluble Mrs. Muir, at the dinner-table.
The remark was unexpected, and Madge, to her dismay, found the bloodrushing to her face. Quick as thought she put her handkerchief toher mouth, and sought to escape notice under the ruse of a briefstrangulation. "This is not going to answer at all," she thought. "Imust acquire a better self-control." She at once began talking aboutGraydon in the most simple and natural manner possible, asking manyquestions. Mrs. Muir's intuition and powers of observation were notvery great, and she was without the faintest suspicion of what waspassing in Madge's mind. Keen-eyed, reticent Mr. Muir was not sounheeding, however. When Graydon's name was mentioned he happened toglance up from the dinner which usually absorbed his attention. Indealing with men he had acquired the habit of keen observation. Duringa business transaction his impassive face and quiet eyes gave noevidence of his searching scrutiny. He not only heard and weighedthe words to which he listened, but ever sought to follow the mentalprocesses behind them; and often men had been perplexed by the factthat the banker had apparently arrived at conclusions opposite to thetenor of their statements. When, therefore, he saw the color flyinginto Madge's face at the unexpected utterance of his brother's name,his attention was arrested and an impression made to which his mindwould revert in the future. It might mean nothing; it might mean agreat deal. Business and home life were everything to Mr. Muir, andGraydon's admiration of Miss Wildmere did not promise well for either.
The power that Mr. Muir had acquired mainly by practice Madgepossessed by nature. As we have seen, she was quite free from thatmost unwomanly phase of stupidity which is often due to the heartrather than the head. Some women know what is told them if it is toldplainly; others look into the eyes of those around them and see whatis sought to be concealed. The selfish woman is self-blinded. Sheoften has great powers of discernment, but will not take the troubleto use them, unless prompted by her own interests. Selfishness is tooshort-sighted, however, to secure lasting benefits. Usually, nothing ismore fatal than the success of mere self-seeking. While Madge pressedunwaveringly toward the goal of her hopes, she did not do so inthoughtless or callous indifference toward those who had true claimsupon her. With her sister she soon saw that all was well--that shewas, as before, absorbed and content with the routine of her life. Shewas not so sure about her brother-in-law. During her absence linesof care had appeared in his face, and there was an abstracted andsometimes a troubled look in his eyes, as if he was pursued byquestions that were importunate and even threatening. The indicationsof perturbation were slight indeed, but from his nature they would beso in any case. Thus the young girl also received an impression whichawakened a faint solicitude. Mr. Muir, as her guardian and the managerof her property, had been a true friend and loyal to his trust. Sheentertained for him much respect and a strong, quiet affection. Hedid not dwell in her thoughts merely as one who was useful to her, butrather as one who had been true to her, and to whom she in her placeand way would be true and sympathetic were there occasion.
Madge was wearied indeed by her long journey, but not exhausted. Insensations so different from those which had followed her journey tothe West she recognized her immeasurable gain. Then she had enteredMrs. Wayland's cottage helpless, hopeless, a fugitive from her ownweakness. By wise endeavor she had transformed that very weakness intoher strength, and had returned to the scenes from which she had fledearnest and resolute--one who had made her choice for life and wouldabide by it. Womanly to her very finger-tips, she was acting with theaggressive decision of a man. Sensitive and timid beyond most women,she would not lose her happiness when it might be won in paths notonly hedged about by all the proprieties of her lot, but also by areserve and pride with which her own fine nature was pre-eminentlyendowed. That she loved Graydon Muir was a truth for life. If he couldlearn to love her from what she had sought to be, from what she simplywas, he should have the chance. Her own deep experience had taught hermuch and given her the clew to many things. She had studied life, notonly in books, but in its actual manifestations. Mrs. Wayland was asocial mine in herself, and could recall from the past, volumes ofdispassionate gossip, free from malice. In two years Madge had learnedto know the world better than many who are in contact with it for longperiods, but who see all through the distorted medium of their ownprejudices or exceptional experiences. Although she was no longerunsophisticated she was neither cynical nor optimistic. Before herhope could be fulfilled she knew she must enter society, and shestudied it thoughtfully--its whims and meannesses as well as its lawsand refinements. If she ever reached Graydon's side she meant to standthere with a knowledge and confidence as assured as his own. She soonlearned that it is common enough for women to seek to win men by everyalluring and coquettish device. She would employ no devices whatever.She would merely reappear above his horizon among other luminaries,and shine with her own pure, unborrowed light. Then it must dependupon himself whether she ever became his own "bright particular star."
So much she felt she had a right to do, and no conventional hesitationas to her course stood in her way. Her love had become the governingimpulse of her life, and its dictates were imperative until theytrenched upon her sensitive, womanly pride. Then they were met as therock meets the tide. She did not care what the world might think: itshould never have occasion to think at all. Her secret was betweenherself and God. Graydon himself should never know it unless his namebecame hers.
How vividly her old haunts recalled him! There was the lounge on whichhe used to toss the "little wraith" after having carried her aroundin the semblance of a waltz. The sofa on which had taken place theirstrange parting still stood as of old in her room. There her headhad sunk in unconsciousness upon his breast, the result of her vain,feeble struggle to escape from caresses so natural to him, but nolonger to be received by her.
What way-marks in life mute, commonplace things become in the lightof memory! To her vivid fancy Graydon was again present in all thepositions now made memorable by deep affectio
n. The past unrolleditself again as it had so often done before. She saw the pallid,frightened child that scarcely dared to look deprecatingly at thehandsome young collegian. She saw again the kind yet mirthful eyesthat beamed encouragingly upon her. She remembered that in theunworthy past they had ever looked upon her with a large, gentle,affectionate tolerance, and she now took chiefly upon herself theblame for those years of weakness. Her present radiant health andbeauty proved how unnecessary they had been, and her heart sometimessunk at the thought of what they might cost her.
Mary had accompanied her to her room, and was asked, in a carelesstone, what had become of Miss Wildmere.
"I was told incidentally the other day that she was as great a belleas ever. I had hoped that she would be out of Graydon's way beforethis time. I have heard, however, that great belles are often slowerin marrying than the homeliest girls. If all is true that is said,this Miss Wildmere has made mischief enough; but I am not anxious thatour Graydon should cut short her career--that is, if marriage wouldcut it short. I imagine she will always be a gay society woman. Well,Madge, I suppose you must make up your mind to be a belle yourself.Why don't you cut out this 'speculator,' as my husband calls her? IfGraydon had my eyes it wouldn't be a difficult task."
"Graydon hasn't your eyes or mine either," was the brusque reply. "Ipropose to use my own. They may see some one that I have never met.One thing at least is certain--I don't intend to cut out Miss Wildmereor any one else. The man who wins me will have to do the seeking mostemphatically; and I warn you beforehand, sister mine, that you mustnever let the idea of matchmaking enter your head. Since I have beenaway I have developed more will of my own than muscle. There is nonecessity for me ever to marry, and if I do it will be because I wishto, not because any one else wants me to. Nothing would set meagainst a man more certainly than to see that he had allies who weremanoeuvring in his behalf;" and she concluded with a kiss that robbedher words of a point too sharp, perhaps, for her sister's feelings.She knew Mrs. Muir's peculiarities well enough, however, to believethat such words were needed, and she had intended to speak them insome form at the earliest opportunity. Therefore she was glad that shecould utter the warning so early and naturally in their new relations.Nor was it uncalled for, since the thought of bringing Madge andGraydon together had already entered Mrs. Muir's mind. A scheme ofthis character would grow in fascination every hour. Poor Madge waswell aware that, with the best intentions, no one could more certainlyblast her hopes than her sister, whose efforts would be unaccompaniedby the nicest tact. Moreover, any such attempts might involve thedisclosure of her secret.
"Well, you have changed in every respect," said Mary, looking at herwonderingly.
"For the better, I hope. My feeling in this respect, however, seemsto me perfectly natural. I don't see how a self-respecting girl couldendure anything except a straightforward, downright suit, with plentyof time to make up her own mind. I can do without the man who does notthink me worthy of this, and could probably do without him any way.Because a man wants to marry a girl is only one reason for assent, andthere may be a dozen reasons to the contrary."
"Why, Madge, how you talk! When you left us it seemed as if any onemight pick you up and marry you and you would not have spirit enoughto say yes or no. Have you had to refuse any one at Santa Barbara?Perhaps you didn't refuse. You have told me so little of what wasgoing on!"
"That isn't fair to me, Mary. I explained to you that I wished togive you a pleasant surprise. To plan a pleasure for you wasnot unsisterly, was it? I haven't Miss Wildmere's ambition formiscellaneous conquests. Why should I write about men for whom I carednothing and toward whom my manner should have made my spoken negativeunnecessary?"
"Other girls would. Well, it seems that their suit was downrightenough to satisfy you. Good gracious! How many were there?"
Madge laughed, yawned, and her sister saw that her dark eyes were fullof the languor of sleep, which added to their beauty.
"Oh, not many," she drawled. "I'll gossip about them some time whennot so tired. I'll indicate them by numerals. Why should I babbletheir names in connection with what they called so sacred? I wonderhow many like sacred affairs had occurred before. If I tell you thestory of the wooing of Number One, Two, Three, and so on, that willanswer just as well, won't it?"
"No, indeed. I wish to know their names, family connection, andwhether they were well off or not."
Madge again laughed, and began to disrobe, in order to indicate thattheir confidence must at least be adjourned for the present. Hersister came and felt her perfect arms and rounded, gleaming shoulders."Why, Madge," she exclaimed, "your flesh is as white and smoothas ivory, and almost as firm to the touch! It's a wonderfultransformation. I can scarcely believe, much less understand it. Youhave grown so beautiful that you almost turn even my head."
"There is nothing so wonderful about it, Mary. Almost any girl may winhealth, and therefore more or less beauty, if she has the sense andwill to make the effort. You know what I was when I left home. Isuggested doctors' bills more than anything else, and it was chieflymy fault;" and she sighed deeply. "When I went to work in a rationalway to get strong, I succeeded. I believe this would be true with thegreat majority. Good-night, dear. When I am rested I'm going tohelp you in many ways, in return for all you did for that lazy,lackadaisical, limp little nonentity that you used to dose and coddlewhen you should have given her a good shaking."
"It's all a miracle," said Mrs. Muir to her husband, at the conclusionof lengthy remarks about Madge.
"As much a miracle as my fortune," was the quiet reply. "Madge has hadsense enough to know what she wanted and how to get it."
A Young Girl's Wooing Page 6