CHAPTER XXII
DISHEARTENING CONFIDENCES
Under a renewed impulse of loyalty Graydon intercepted Miss Wildmereas she was going to her room, and said: "The clouds in the west areall breaking away--they ever do, you know, if one has patience. We canstill have our drive and enjoy it all the more from hope deferred."
"I'm so sorry," she began, in some embarrassment. "Of course Icouldn't know last night that it would rain in the morning, and sopromised Mr. Arnault this afternoon."
"It seems as if it would ever be hope deferred to me, Miss Wildmere,"he said, gravely.
"But, Graydon, you must see how it is--"
"No, I don't see, but I yield, as usual."
"I promise you Sunday afternoon or the first clear day," sheexclaimed, eagerly.
"Very well," he replied, brightening. "Remember I shall be a Shylockwith this bond." But he was irritated, nevertheless, and went out onthe piazza to try the soothing influence of a cigar.
The skies cleared rapidly. So did his brow; and before long hemuttered: "I'll console myself by another gallop with Madge. Theregoes my inamorata, smiling upon another fellow. How long is this goingto last? Not all summer, by Jupiter! Her father must not insist on herplaying that game too long, even though she does play it so well."
Madge was sitting in her room in dreary apathy and spiritless reactionfrom the strain of the morning, when she was aroused by a knock on herdoor. "Madge," called a voice that sent the blood to her face, "whatsay you to another ride? I know the roads are muddy, but--"
"But I'll go with you," she cried. "Why use adversatives in the samebreath with 'ride'? The mud's nothing. What won't rub off can stay on.How soon shall I be ready?"
"That's a good live girl. In half an hour."
When they were a mile or two away Madge asked, as if with suddencompunction, "Graydon, are you sure you were disengaged?"
He laughed outright. "That question comes much too late," he said.
She braced herself as if to receive a deadly blow, and was pale andrigid with the effort as she asked, with an air of curiosity merely,"Are you truly engaged to Miss Wildmere, Graydon?"
"In one sense I am, Madge," he replied, gravely. "I have given her myloyalty, and, to a certain extent, my word; but I have not bound her.Since you have proved so true and generous a friend to me I do nothesitate to let you know the truth. I am sorry you do not like heraltogether, and that you have some cause for your feeling; but you areboth right at heart. She spoke most enthusiastically of your rescueof the child. You ladies amuse me with your emphasis of little piques;but when it comes to anything large or fine you do justice to oneanother. Henry had no right to say what he did at dinner, for Stellaapplauded you as you had her; but Henry's prejudices are inveterate.Why should I not be loyal to her, Madge? I believe she remained freefor my sake during the years of my absence."
"I think your feelings are very natural. They are what I should expectof you. You have always seemed to me the soul of honor when once youobtain your bearings," she added, with a wan smile.
"How pale you are, Madge!" he said, anxiously.
"I am not feeling very well to-day, and then I am suffering from thereaction of this morning. I never can get over my old timidity anddislike to do anything in public. I can do what I will, but itoften costs me dear. I was led on unexpectedly this morning. I onlyanticipated singing a ditty for the children when I first went to thepiano at their request."
"I saw that, Madge. Any other woman with your power of song would havemade it known long before this."
"And, believe me, Graydon, I did not want to sing in rivalry with MissWildmere. I'm sorry I did."
"I saw that too," he replied, laughing. "Stella drew that littleexperience down upon herself."
"I'm sorry now that I sang," she said, in a low tone. "I didn't wantto do anything to hurt the feelings of so good a friend as you are."
"You didn't hurt my feelings in the least. Just the contrary. Yougave much pleasure, and made me all the more proud of you. It will doStella no harm to have her self-complacency jostled a little. Slightwonder that her head is somewhat giddy from the immense amount ofattention she has received. I'm not perfect, Madge; why should Idemand perfection? It's delightful to be talking in this way--likeold times. I used to talk to you about Stella years ago. If I have thesubstance I can forego the shadow, and I do feel that I can say to youall that I could to a sensible and loving sister. Believe me, Madge,I can never get over my old feeling for you, and I'm just as proudof you as if your name was Madge Muir. I think your brave effort andachievement at Santa Barbara simply magnificent. You have long hadthe affection that I would give to a sister, and now that I understandyou, I feel for you all the respect that I could give to any woman."
"Those are kind, generous words, Graydon. I knew that youmisunderstood me, and I was only provoked at you, not angry."
"You had good reason to be provoked and much more. If you and Stellaunderstood each other in the same way, and--well--if she were onlyout of that atmosphere in which she has been brought up, I could asknothing more."
"What atmosphere?"
"Wall Street atmosphere transferred to the domestic and social circle.You have too much delicacy, Madge, to refer to what I know puzzlesyou, and I admit that I do not fully understand it all, though Iknow Stella's motive clearly enough. Her motive is worthy of allcommendation, but not her method. She is not so much to blame for thisas her father, and perhaps her mother, who appears a weak, spiritlesswoman, a faint echo of her husband. It is here that the infernal WallStreet atmosphere comes in that she has breathed all her life. Does itnot puzzle you, in view of my relations to her, that she should be outdriving with Arnault?"
"Yes, Graydon, it does."
"Well, Arnault is a money-lender, and I am satisfied that in some wayhe has her father in his power. Many of these brokers are like cats.They will hold on to anything by one nail, and the first thing youknow they are on their feet again all right. As soon as Wildmere makesa lucky strike in the stock-market he will extricate himself and hisdaughter at the same time. Of course these things are not formulatedin words, in a cold-blooded way, I suppose. Arnault has long been asuitor that would take no rebuff. I am satisfied that she hasrefused him more than once, but he simply persists, and gives herto understand that he will take his chances. This was the state ofaffairs when I came home, and she, no doubt, feels that if she cansave her father, and keep a home for her mother and the little one,she ought to retain her hold on Arnault. After all, it is not so bad.Many women marry for money outright, and all poor Stella proposes isto be complaisant toward a man who would not continue his businesssupport to one whose daughter had just refused him."
Madge was silent.
"You wouldn't do such a thing, I suppose."
"I couldn't, Graydon," she said, simply. "If I should ever love a manI think I could suffer a great deal for his sake, but there are somethings I couldn't do."
"I thought you would feel so."
"Why don't you help her father out?" Madge faltered.
"I don't think I have sufficient means. I have never been over-thriftyin saving, and have not laid by many thousands. I have merely agood salary and very good prospects. You can't imagine how slow andconservative Henry is. In business matters he treats me just as ifI were a stranger, and I must prove myself worthy of trust at everypoint, and by long apprenticeship, before he will give me a voice inaffairs. He says coming forward too fast is the ruination of youngmen in our day. Nothing would tempt him to have dealings with Mr.Wildmere, and I couldn't damage myself more than by any transactionson my own account. But even if I were rich I wouldn't interfere. Idon't like her father any better than Henry does, and if I began inthis way it would make a bad precedent. What's more, I won't introducemoney influences into an affair of this kind. If it comes to thepoint, Stella must decide for me, ignoring all other considerations.If she does, I won't permit her family to suffer, but I propose toknow that she chooses me absolutely in spite of eve
rything. I am alsoresolved that she shall be separated from her family as far as isright, for there is a tone about them that I don't like."
"I thank you for your confidence, Graydon," said Madge, quietly. "Youare acting just as I should suppose you would. No one in the worldwishes you happiness more earnestly than I do. Come, let us take thislevel place like the wind."
She was unusually gay during the remainder of their ride, but seemedbent almost on running her horse to death. "To-morrow is Sunday," sheexplained, "and I must crowd two rides into one."
"Wouldn't you ride to-morrow?"
"No; I have some old-fashioned notions about Sunday. You have beenabroad too long, perhaps, to appreciate them."
"I appreciate fidelity to conscience, Madge."
They had their supper together again as on the evening before, butMadge was carelessly languid and fitful in her mirthful sallies, andcomplained of over-fatigue. "I won't come down again to-night," shesaid to Graydon as they passed out of the supper-room. "Good-night."
"Good-night, Madge," he replied, taking her hand in both his own."I understand you now, and know that you have gone beyond even yoursuperb strength to-day. Sleep the sleep of the justest and truestlittle woman that ever breathed. I can't tell you how much you haveadded to my happiness during the past two days."
"He understands me!" she muttered, as she closed the door of her room."I am almost tempted to doubt whether a merciful God understands me.Why was this immeasurable love put into my heart to be so cruellythwarted? Why must he go blindly on to so cruel a fate? Of courseshe'll renounce everything for him. Whatever else she may be, she isnot an idiot."
Henry Muir's quiet eyes had observed Madge closely, and from a littledistance he had seen the parting between her and his brother. Thenhe saw Graydon seek Miss Wildmere and resume a manner which he hadlearned to detest, and the self-contained man went out upon thegrounds, and said, through clinched teeth: "To think that there shouldhave been such a fool bearing the name of Muir! He's been gushing toMadge about that speculator, and we shall yet have to take her as wewould an infection."
A Young Girl's Wooing Page 22