by Seth Eden
Zen narrowed his gaze and shook his head. He knew those aliens couldn’t be trusted as far as he could throw them, and that was pretty far. A ruthless, proud race who knew nothing but violence and paying homage to the dragon shifters just to keep their trade routes. Or whatever it was the previous king promised them.
“And how did the king deal with them?”
“He didn’t, Dominic did. He ended whatever contract they had between them, told them to never come back.” Samantha could still remember the look on Torfan’s face when he was forced back up the gangplank to his ship to leave. The smug grin he’d usually worn had vanished.
“Ah. I see.” Zen’s gaze shifted towards the city. Ethan likely wouldn’t have taken too kindly to that contract ending. That meant that he no longer had the wolf-aliens in the palm of his hand to manipulate. He’d chosen them for a reason, based on their ruthlessness and cunning skills on the battlefield. The fact that Ethan had recommended them in the first place gave Zen an idea as to where he might be.
Samantha recalled what she remembered about Earth, it’s long history and what point her people were at before everyone was killed. She kept herself distant from the details, separating herself so that she wouldn’t have to remember much of her old life. How she and Jen and the others had scrambled from building to building, trying to escape the wolf-aliens as much as they could until they were ultimately caught. The trip on the ship, and how “well” Torfan and his crew had treated them.
“And that’s when we arrived here. In this strange-ass place with nothing left to call our own.”
“I know what that’s like,” he muttered under his breath.
“No,” she quickly felt her anger stoked by the red hot poker of his words. How could he sound so blase about this? Their situations weren’t the same at all.
“No, you don’t know what that’s like. There’s no way you can compare the two. You weren’t taken from your home and expected to live by someone else’s rules.”
Zen’s nostrils flared and as he exhaled, Samantha swore she saw a deep hot glow emanating from his nostrils.
“I was ousted from my home, forced to live here in exile and blamed for the death of my wife. My children. Do you know what it’s like to watch a holo-display of your wife being thrown into a star while you’re locked in prison? To see my children’s, Ethan’s nieces and nephews’, heads being severed from their bodies? And I had to be thankful to him for not ending my life as well? So you’re right, I don’t know what it’s like because your pain is nothing in comparison to mine.” He dragged his claws against the ground, leaving deep trenches in the dirt. His scales itched with anticipation, desperate to get out of her before he allowed his anger to get the better of him.
“Ethan turned me into a widower. A childless father. Tell me, did you have any children back on Earth, Sam?”
Samantha’s face felt hot as she was confronted with his words. How could he even compare the two? He was still on his own planet, not scooped up and carried to a new world, only be dumped into the hands of those who were only interested in perpetuating their own species. His entire planet hadn’t been destroyed, his people left for dead, extinct as a matter of fact, just because a few astronauts had killed a few wolf-alien children. He still had his senses about him. He knew where he stood, while she was forced to conform to their way of life and expectations, to be turned into something she ultimately was not because they decided that that was best for her.
“No... no, I had no children. But I did have to watch people die around me, people I cared about. Hundreds and thousands of people die. The city I lived in was reduced to a crater...” Her voice trailed off. The thought of innocents being killed needlessly drew Samantha back to Earth. She shut her eyes and she could see the devastation around her again, smell the smoke and cement dust that filled the air. Screams... so many screams. There were bodies everywhere. And blood. So much blood... She wanted to run, needed to run before they showed up again. The children... how many could she get to safety...
“Hey.” Zen had noticed her go rigid in the middle of his story. Eyes closed, she seemed to be in her own trance, swaying slightly on her perched seat. At first, he thought she was trying to stave away the lingering touches of nausea but the longer she sat there, the stronger the scent of her stress grew. This had nothing to do with feeling sick. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it... nor was it any of his business.
She had to run. Her legs tensed up and her heart rate spiked. The danger was real and if she didn’t move, it was going to get her. They were going to get her and throw her into that tiny cell. They were going to make her suffer for the actions of a small few.
“Hey!”
That “other place” fell out from beneath her so quickly, it left her dizzy when she opened her eyes once more, like going over the crest of the highest peak on a rollercoaster. She bottomed out and felt everything squash back together as her surroundings melted back into view. She wasn’t on Earth anymore, she had to remind herself. She thought that place would have been far behind her, that she would never have to think about it ever again.
The sight of the large brown dragon didn’t help either. The sight of him brought on a whole new panic that sent her backpedaling towards the hideaway. He was here to burn her to ashes, wasn’t he? Where was Jen when she needed her? Where was anyone?
Being at the grave. Wendy. She’d been there to give her flowers, and then the scarred man came... Such a beautiful day had been transformed into such a disaster...
“All because of you!” She pointed a finger at him as uncontrollable tears ran down her face. Her chest felt ready to burst and her legs were jelly beneath her. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get enough air, and she felt like she was going to throw up all over again.
Zen watched in wonderment and concern as Sam tried to “escape.” Her eyes were wide and he could smell the stress pouring off of her. If he didn’t know better, he would say she was having a panic attack, though he didn’t know why it was happening or what had triggered it.
... she’d been talking about Earth. She’d done that earlier when she was talking about its history but this... this was unique to her. His question about children had triggered something within her, set something off that had dropped her into a dark well of memories she would have preferred not seeing ever again.
“Sam... Sam, you have to listen to me. You’re breathing too fast and if you don’t stop, you’re going to pass out. I need to listen to my voice and take deeper breaths. At this rate, your heart is going to explode.”
“Get out of my head!” She dropped to her knees and pressed her head to them, curling up into a ball so tight, even Zen was sure he wouldn’t be able to move her. Her stress levels were through the roof at this point, and he knew that if he didn’t stop her here and now, she was going to make herself worse again.
He snorted before making the slow transition back into his human form. He had no idea if she was going to respond to him like this either, but it was worth a try and he looked less intimidating.
“Hey... Sam...” He knelt next to her, his hand hovering over her shoulder. He wasn’t sure if touching her would send her spiraling again or serve as a source of comfort.
She didn’t respond to his voice. She was locked away in her own little world, trying to get away from all the things that were trying to hurt her.
Everything around her began to shift and change in ripples, faces coming into view and ducking out again. She felt tingling in her fingers and toes, as if someone was jabbing needles into the skin. Within, she started to grow cold and she felt her body shivering out of control. She wanted it all to stop, to regain control of herself, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t reconnect her mind back to her body.
Seeing that none of this was helping, Zen gave up on trying to reach her. What he needed to do was be there for her when she did so that she wouldn’t crash again. Today was turning out not to be a great day for her health.
&
nbsp; He sat beside her and hugged a knee to his chest, watching and waiting for this attack of hers to subside. Instead, he decided to talk about himself and his life.
“I still remember the first time I saw Senna. It was... winter, I think. Or at least what comes across as winter here. This planet doesn’t really have seasons, you know. ... anyway, it was a little chilly and I remember I was supposed to be meeting my brother and father somewhere important, the meeting hall I think, and I’d forgotten my cloak. So I was running back to get it when I bumped into this girl, no older than me. Beautiful hair... and her eyes... you could feel them looking right through you with just one stare. Like you were insignificant in her presence. Meeting her gaze as she walked past made my heart stop and I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing at the time.”
He recalled the smile on her face too and the small chuckle she’d hid behind a hand as she’d continued behind her parents. Her long flowing red hair had been done in elaborate braids that ran down her back, a perfect compliment to the dark green dress and shawl she had on. Even now, he could feel his cheeks warm on remembering that moment.
“We’d meet each other again and again at different places, always by chance, of course, until it started to not feel that way. That was when I gave in and introduced myself. Or, at least, that’s what my brother told me I should do. He’d noticed me gawking at her and shoved me forward. I was so embarrassed, I could barely get a word out. She was the one who grabbed my hand first and gave me her name. Senna. Some simple, yet so elegant.”
The longer he spoke, the more Samantha felt herself being pulled out of her trance. His voice gave her mind the roots to follow and find the center she needed to return to this reality. Slowly, the tingling stopped and the block of coldness within her melted under a glowing heat that prickled sweat at the back of her neck. Looking around her, she couldn’t remember how she’d got here or why she was even on the ground. She also couldn’t remember where she was or who was at her side. The imagery of her mind and where she found herself melted together as if she was looking at two different places at the same time.
She blinked for a few minutes to clear her head until the fog slowly lifted.
“Wh... what...? Zen...?”
He breathed a sigh of relief and placed his hands on her shoulders.
“You... kind of spaced out there.” He tried to play it off as if it was nothing, like she hadn’t just given him the biggest scare of his life in centuries. Drawing attention to whatever she’d just experienced would probably only make her clam up more. It seemed like a better idea to lead her away from those memories by talking about something else.
“I... yeah, sorry. I’m...” She pressed a hand to her head; she was having difficulties remembering exactly what had just transpired and that was scaring her a little.
“What... what were we talking about again?”
“...my wife. You’d asked about my wife. And my kids. What kind of people they were like.” It was better to play it off that she’d brought up the topic than having to explain she’d just had a panic attack. “I was telling you how I met her.”
“Mmm. Can... can we talk about this inside? I feel, uh, a little weird.” The chill returned and she rubbed furiously at her arms to keep it away. She was covered in goose pimples as she tried to stand and found her legs weak beneath her.
“Yeah. Sure. Do you want... tea or something?” Not that he had any. He never touched the stuff.
“Tea would be nice, thank you.” She leaned on his arm as they made their way back inside, not wanting to fall over again.
Zen helped her back to the couch and propped a pillow up behind her back. She’d just gotten over her stomach problem, only to suffer a bout of something else entirely. He hoped he wasn’t going to have to take care of her the entire time she was here.
“How are you feeling? Breathing okay?” he called from the kitchen as he filled a pot with water. He exhaled a stream of fire underneath it, hot and savage until it began to bubble over. He rifled through his cupboards until he came upon a small glass bottle containing some dried leaves. He gave it a quick sniff and plopped two of them into the water, swirling it around until it grew a dark brown. The smell that wafted from it was strong and bitter; if that smell didn’t keep her conscious, then nothing would.
“I’m... my chest still feels... weird.” Like she’d run a mile without even trying. Her legs felt the same way too, all achy and tingly and tired.
“Do you want to talk about it? What you... what just happened?” He pressed the mug of tea into her hands, which she was grateful for. The heat of it grounded her and gave her something to focus on so that she wouldn’t lose herself again.
“I… thought I was back on Earth. Watching everything fall down around me. There was… uh, a lot of blood everywhere. Dead bodies. I saw people’s heads being bitten off… their organs getting ripped out… It left me feeling hollow… what you said didn’t help…” She took a quick gulp of the tea and grimaced. It was strong and made her tongue go instantly numb.
“Well… we shouldn’t have been comparing traumas, I guess. It wasn’t fair for either of us to bring it up.” Zen ran a hand through his hair.
“You started it,” she mumbled behind another swallow of tea.
“You know damn well it was-...” He shook his head. He didn’t want to get into it again. “What else?”
“I fell… only it didn’t feel like I was falling, like I was watching it happen to someone else. And then I heard you talking about someone being beautiful.”
“Senna. Would you like me to talk more about her?” Once he was sure she was settled on the couch, he crossed the room to press at a small panel hidden in the wall. There, he extracted a small handheld device that he placed on the couch between them once he retook his seat. He trailed his fingers over the surface of it and a small hologram display hovered a few inches above their heads. In blue light, there was the smiling face of a woman, frozen in time.
“Is that her?”
“Yes. The things she could do... She could command armies with just her mind. Bend nature to her will. Fly faster than anyone else ever had before. On her own wings, she could travel to the next system and back within two weeks. That power... It was like nothing anyone had ever seen before.”
His tone took a turn for the serious; Samantha watched him turn away, watched his jaw clenching and unclenching.
“For them to kill her over something so stupid… She was going to be...” His voice broke then. He wanted to spare his pride and retreat into the kitchen, to hide his display of any emotion. He was sure she didn’t care anyway nor would venting make him feel any better. He’d started his story, however, and he was intent on finishing it.
“These were our children…” Another wiggle of his fingers over the device and the image changed to display five young faces, two boys and three girls of various ages.
Samantha stared at them for a long time as the faces rotated in place. She could see the obvious resemblance between Zen and his children: they had the same nose and similar foreheads. They definitely had their mother’s cheekbones and something of her chin, making them very striking children.
She didn’t dare to look at Zen’s face, knowing the emotions she would likely see embedded in his eyes. She didn’t want to see that kind of pain, for she didn’t have the right words to say or the correct gestures to make that would make any of it okay.
“He… Ethan had them hunted down, one by one. His own nieces and nephews. He made me watch as they severed their heads from their bodies and burned their remains in a well. I never even got the chance to say goodbye to any of them.”
Before she could reply to any of it, the happy faces winked out of view. Zen’s hand was gripped around the device, clenching it tightly. Then his arm reared back, ready to smash the damn thing against the wall.
Samantha interjected herself and grabbed a hold of his arm.
“You don’t want to do that. You’ll only re
gret it later.”
Zen was taken aback by her sudden gesture, surprised that she would even care enough to stop him.
“You’re right. I’m not a parent so I wouldn’t understand what you went through… But the loss of any child, or an innocent life, hurts everyone. It’s never fair and… I’m sorry.”
She didn’t know why she was trying so hard to be understanding. It had really only been a day since this entire disaster began, and yet it had been a day of powerful emotions she just couldn’t ignore. He had helped her too when he’d had no obligation to, brought her back to her senses instead of allowing her to drown and even gotten her some awful tea in the process.
But was his kindness really worth paying back? He was the one who’d dragged her out here and he had lied about knowing where Ethan was. He’d belittled her and embarrassed her and continued to strut around his own house naked without any concern for her sensibilities like he wanted her to see.
This was his place, she reminded herself. She was only a guest here, living under his rules.
There was still something there, she would admit. A spark that spoke of a mutual need to be heard and understood, for their wrongs to be righted in some way. Hers never could, she knew; there was no going back and reviving those people several months dead. There was no bringing Wendy back or undoing the new life Jen had found for herself.
And with Zen, there was no bringing back his dead family either. Nothing could undo the suffering he’d witnessed and endured. It had stuck with him this long that it was nigh impossible that anything would be able to take that kind of pain away. It seemed their needs for vengeance would never be fulfilled, leaving them both floating in an empty space with no true goals in sight.
“So… if you need me here to help you find Ethan, then maybe that’s for the best. For both of us. You get what you want and maybe I can get some answers out of him before… well, whatever you decide to do with him.” It wasn’t an outcome she wanted to consider, not if there was still the chance that Ethan had a good explanation for all of this. At this point, after hearing everything and seeing Zen’s reactions to seeing his loved ones, she wasn’t holding out for much hope.