I looked at the outside. It really was a brilliant design. Being built into a small hill meant the whole of the ice house was underground, where it would be coolest.
“Go on then,” Kitty said to me. “Open it.”
I rattled the iron door, then pulled it gently toward me. It opened easily.
We stood there for a moment, staring into the dark, gaping hole. I could hear a steady drip, drip, drip coming from inside, and there was a strong stench of damp. Kitty leaned in.
“Helllloooooooooo!!!!!” she called, and her voice echoed over and over, tumbling into the darkness. I swallowed as she stared at me, her eyes wide.
“It looks horrible. I can’t imagine James and Charlotte playing in there, can you?” I said. “Maybe I was wrong about the ice house? Maybe there’s another kind of frozen place. Somewhere in the kitchen in your house?”
Kitty scowled at me. “Of course it’s in here. What else could a frozen place be with the letters I and H? And remember, it probably looked better when they were little. They lit it up with lanterns and all that.”
As I looked into the darkness it made me think of Gary, and my heart began to race like it does after I’ve been playing soccer.
“I thought this might help,” I said, taking my blue flashlight out of my coat pocket. Kitty grinned as if I’d found the treasure already.
“You are a star! Why didn’t I think of bringing a flashlight? That is brilliant.”
I flicked the switch, then pressed my way through the flashing modes until I got to the steady ON setting.
“It’s not exactly the best flashlight in the world, is it?” she said as I shined the feeble light into the darkness.
“Sorry,” I said.
There was a reason the flashlight was so dim. Mum had bought it for me after Gary had smashed my light jar, and she said I could put it on when I was in bed if I got really scared. Because the bulb was blue, it didn’t shine brightly, so Gary wouldn’t spot it under the door. I felt another pang of needing my mum. Badly. I really didn’t want to be here, facing a hole of darkness. I was going to have to admit to Kitty that there was no way I was going to go in.
“Okay, who’s going first?” she said, kneeling beside the door.
“I—I … I’m not sure … that I can …” I said. The entrance was like a large, gaping mouth ready to swallow me up. It made me think of Gary. And of what he did … to our house. I began to shake, hoping that Kitty just thought it was from the cold.
“Fine. I’ll go,” said Kitty, letting out an almighty huff while simultaneously rolling her eyes. She ducked beneath the low doorway, and I heard her drop down into the chamber.
“Hold on—you haven’t got the flashlight!” I said, my voice echoing as I edged closer. I couldn’t believe she was so brave she’d just jump into the darkness like that. I waved the flashlight around the best I could.
“It’s horrible,” Kitty said, her voice really quiet. “I can’t see a thing, it’s so dark and slippery.” Her voice kept fading as she walked around. “It’s quite big, I think. I can’t see much at the moment. I’ve got to let my eyes adjust to the dark.”
The blue flashlight darted this way and that, but it wasn’t bright enough to light anything up.
I listened to her feet scuffing along the brick floor, and then it went quiet.
“Kitty? Are you okay?”
I leaned in a little bit, but I couldn’t see a thing.
“Kitty!”
“I’m fine! Point the flashlight over here! There’s another chamber toward the back. I’m going to see if there’s anything through there.”
There was a light blue glow where Kitty was standing, but the flashlight began to flicker. I slapped it against my palm.
“Come back now, Kitty! The batteries are dying!”
I heard some shuffling, and then it went quiet. Water dripped like the ticking of a clock as I listened to the silence.
“Kitty, are you okay?”
“Nate!”
She sounded so far away.
“Kitty? Where are you?”
I banged the flashlight again, and it spluttered into life, then quickly faded. I turned it off and on, but it was dead.
“Kitty, the flashlight isn’t working. You’ve got to try to find a way out!”
“Nate, help me!”
I ducked down, ready to drop through the gap and into the ice house, but then I stopped. It was so dark. So terrifyingly dark. I couldn’t do it.
“Kitty? I can’t. I can’t come in. Just follow my voice, okay? Can you hear me? Kitty!”
“Nate! I’m in the other chamber, and I can’t find the door. You’ve got to help me!”
My heart was pounding. I was faced with a sheet of blackness, and I just couldn’t go in.
“Please, Nate, I can’t see a thing,” said Kitty. I could hear her desperately scrabbling around.
“I—I … I can’t,” I said quietly. I stood up, shivering in the freezing cold.
I ran back to the cottage, not stopping even when I skidded and stumbled to the ground. I couldn’t go in there. I just couldn’t. And if Kitty wanted to go poking around in some scary ice house, then that was her choice. Surely someone in her home would realize she was missing. Maybe I should go tell them? But I didn’t want to be seen. When I got to the cottage Sam was standing in the middle of the living room.
“You’re doing the best thing by staying here, you know, Nate,” he said. “All of this ‘knight in shining armor stuff’ just isn’t you. No, it’s far better to be here. In the warmth. In the light.”
I paced up and down beside him. “You’re right. She’s nothing to do with me. I’ve got my own problems!”
My head was fuzzy. I sat down on the sofa, and Sam sat down next to me. “Why don’t you get the fire going? I mean, it’s not like you’re going to go and help her.”
It didn’t feel nice when he said that.
“I mean, so what if she’s alone and trapped in the dark? What’s it to you?”
I froze for a moment. “But no one knows she’s there. I can’t go to the house. What if she can’t find her way out?”
Sam shrugged his shoulders. “Well, then you’re the only one who can help her, aren’t you?”
I looked at Sam and he winked. He’d been trying to get me to do something—and it had worked.
“Under the sink!” I shouted. “I bet there’re some batteries there. That’s where Mum used to keep them at home.”
I jumped up and Sam clapped his hands together. “That’s a brilliant idea!”
The cupboard under the sink stank of moldy, damp rags. There was a plastic tub full of old scrub brushes and a bag of clothespins and that was it.
“Okay, so that’s no good. Now what?” said Sam. He was bouncing around the kitchen like a boxer warming up in the ring. “Come on! You can do this!” He threw a few punches at a shadow on the wall.
“Can you just keep still? I’m trying to think.”
I tried to remember if I’d come across anything when I was looking around the cottage for clues to the treasure hunt.
“The alarm clock!” I shouted.
I sprinted upstairs and into my mum’s room and grabbed the small white alarm clock on her bedside cabinet. I flicked the back open, and two batteries fell out onto the bed. I quickly unscrewed the bottom of the flashlight and tipped the batteries into my hand, but they were smaller. The ones in Mum’s alarm clock were too big to fit. I sat there for a moment, thinking. And then I ran back downstairs.
“Sam, you’ve got to help me! Do you have any ideas?”
“You’re asking me a question?” he said.
I stared at him. “What? Yes. Yes, I’m asking you a question. Can you help me? Please.”
“Well, I can’t believe you’re asking me a question,” he said, emphasizing the words. He was behaving really oddly, and then I realized he was giving me a clue.
I turned away and spotted the Ask Me a Question magic ball on the table.
“Try them the other way around,” said Sam, appearing beside me. I did what he said, quickly screwing the end back on, and then pressed the rubber button. The flashlight gave off a blue glow, and this time it was a little brighter. I was ready.
I ran to the kitchen door and stopped. Sam’s yellow color brought warmth to my face.
“You can do this, you know,” he said. I smiled at him, then stepped out into the freezing air.
My feet were so cold and wet I couldn’t feel them at all by the time I got back to the ice house. I wondered if I was in danger of getting frostbite; maybe I’d end up losing a toe or two. But if I was this cold, how did Kitty feel?
The entrance gate was still open, and there was no sign of Kitty.
“Kitty? Kitty, I’m back, are you all right?” I said, and I waved the dim flashlight into the darkness. I could hear some sniffling noises and some shuffling.
“Nate! You came back!”
I thought she was going to be really angry with me for running off, but she just sounded relieved. I pointed the flashlight in the direction of her voice.
“Just look to where the flashlight is shining and head toward it, okay? Can you see it?”
I moved the light slowly to the left and right, and I heard her moving around in the darkness.
“I can’t … I can’t … I’m so cold …”
I waved the flashlight again.
“Listen to me, Kitty. You’ve got to just follow the flashlight. Okay? Can you see it?”
I listened but all I could hear was Kitty quietly crying. My heart was racing. I was going to have to go in.
I took a deep breath, as if I were about to go underwater, ducked down, and scrambled into the ice house and into the blackness. I stood still for a moment, trying not to panic. It was so dark. The blue flashlight barely helped at all. It felt like my face was being covered by a suffocating blanket. I took a few breaths and waited for my eyes to adjust, but not a lot happened. Some water dripped off the ceiling and landed on my cheek, and I jumped.
“Okay, I’m in … I’m in the ice house, Kitty, but you’ve got to h-help … You’ve got to talk so that I can find you …” I knew my voice was shaking, but I wanted her to think I was brave.
“I’m here, Nate. I’m here. Just find me, please find me,” she said. Her voice was coming from the left, but she sounded distant.
I swallowed. I kept thinking about my mum. And Gary. And the darkness.
“K-Keep talking to me, Kitty, and when you see my flashlight give me a nice big cheer, okay? Keep talking. Tell me something … Tell me something about when you were younger …”
I trod as carefully as I could, pointing the flashlight down now and then to check my footing.
“I—I remember … There was a big dollhouse in the house … A big one … You c-could … You could take the roof off and the front …”
I began to walk toward her voice. “That’s it. Tell me about the dollhouse. Did you play with it a lot?”
Her voice was helping me keep calm, and I concentrated on what she was saying as I edged deeper into the darkness.
“No. It was Charlotte’s dollhouse. She used to play with it. It was her favorite thing. She used to lay in bed at night … and stare at the house and imagine she was really tiny, and … she could go around all of the rooms …”
Her voice was shaking.
“That’s great. Keep talking, Kitty. Did your dad tell you that? About Charlotte and her dollhouse?”
I felt my way along a wet, slimy wall. “Oh! I see you! I’m here, Nate! On your left!”
The cold wall came to an end. It was an opening into another room. I pointed the flashlight in the direction of her voice, but I still couldn’t see her.
“Okay, can you walk toward the flashlight? Can you edge your way out?”
“I think so … I’ll go slowly.”
I heard her feet shuffling along the floor.
There was a clatter as her foot kicked something, and I heard her stop and scrape the floor with her foot. The flashlight began to flicker.
“Kitty, I don’t want to panic you, but you’ve got to hurry up. We need to get out of here. NOW!”
“Hold on, I’ve found something. I think it’s the next clue.”
I couldn’t believe she was still thinking about that at a time like this. “Are you serious?! Come on! If you don’t come now, I’m getting out of here right this second!” My voice echoed around the room.
“I’m coming! Don’t leave me.”
Her pale face suddenly appeared in the beam from my flashlight and I gasped. She smiled. She looked so pleased to see me.
“Thank you! Thank you, Nate.”
“Come on. Let’s get out of here,” I said, and as I turned, the flashlight died.
Someone was screaming. At first I thought it was Kitty, but it didn’t sound quite like her.
“Stop it. It’s fine, I can see the doorway!”
The screaming carried on. I put my hands over my ears to block it out.
“Calm down! We’re nearly there now. That’s enough! I said ENOUGH!”
The screaming stopped and was replaced with shuddering sobs.
“The door is just over there, we can make it. Okay? Let’s just go slowly and steadily.”
I saw a dim semicircle of light in the distance that grew brighter and brighter as I headed toward it. Before I knew it, I was scrambling through the hole and squinting in the daylight. Kitty stood in front of me.
“Nate. What’s going on? Are you okay? Why were you screaming like that? You frightened me.”
I stared back at her, blinking. It had been me? I had been the one screaming?
“I—I … I’m okay. I’ve got to go. I’ve got to go back now.”
She looked at me with her head to one side. “You didn’t sound okay.”
Kitty was holding something in her hand. It was a gray tin. She held it up and smiled.
“I’ve found it, Nate. I kicked it with my foot. The next riddle is going to be in here, I just know it.”
She began to open the tin, but I didn’t care any more. I just needed to get to the cottage. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”
I turned away and I ran. I ran to the cottage, and I didn’t look back.
I put my wet sneakers beside the roaring fire and sat watching the flames as I hugged my knees. Sam was sitting on the sofa but hadn’t said anything. Every now and then he looked at me as if he were waiting for me to start. Waiting for me to say something. He folded his arms.
“So, are you going to tell me then? Why you’re so afraid of the dark?” he said.
I breathed slowly onto my knees but didn’t say anything.
His face had scrunched into a scowl. “Okay, you don’t want to talk. I get it. But what I want to know is how could your mum just let him come into her house and boss her around like that? What was wrong with her?”
“I know … I know how it sounds. It sounds like Mum let him walk all over her, but it wasn’t like that at all. Gary controlled things without you even realizing he was doing it. I never once heard him shout. He never tried to hurt us or anything. It was as if it was all going on like a rage in his head. Sometimes … Sometimes you could see it behind his eyes.”
The room was silent apart from the crackling of the fire. “And the dark?”
I sighed. “Like I said, Gary was clever. We didn’t really notice what he was doing to start with.”
Sam leaned forward and rested his chin on his hand as he listened. And then I told him. I told him why I was so terrified of the dark.
“We were all sitting at the dinner table one evening when the light bulb above us went pop. Mum put her knife and fork down to go and get
a new one from under the sink, but Gary put his hand on her arm.
“‘Leave it, Fiona,’ he said. ‘I’ll do it after dinner.’
“I leaned back on my chair to look out the window. It was getting dark, but the hallway light was on and we could still see what we were eating. Gary chatted about a computer problem he was trying to sort out at work, and then Mum tried to join in and told him about our old laptop that had stopped working because it had a disease. I didn’t know why she said it; it was the stupidest thing she’d ever said.
“‘Virus, Mum. It’s called a virus,’ I said, hoping that Gary would stop laughing in that strange way of his.
“‘You’re such a silly-billy, aren’t you, Fiona? That’s what I love about you,’ he said, as he patted her arm.
“Gary didn’t replace the bulb after dinner, so Mum changed it herself after he’d gone to bed. The next morning when I came down for breakfast, Mum and Gary were in the kitchen talking.
“‘But I don’t understand it,’ she said, ‘I changed the bulb last night. Has it definitely blown again? We’ve never had any problems with that light before.’
“I hovered in the kitchen while Mum searched under the sink for another bulb.
“‘Don’t touch it now, Fiona. It might not be safe. I’ll take a look at the fitting later and see why it keeps going.’
“Mum picked up her cell phone and began to text someone. ‘I’ll see if Laura’s husband can pop over and take a look. He’s an electrician. He won’t mind.’
“Gary walked up to her and calmly took her cell phone out of her hand and slid it into his back pocket.
“‘There’s no need for that. We don’t need this Laura’s husband bothering us, do we? You’ve got me here now.’
“He kissed Mum’s forehead and tapped me on the head as he went into the living room.
“As far as I know, that was the last time she saw her cell phone. She told me she’d accidentally dropped it and was going to get another, but she never seemed to get around to it. I suspect he never gave it back to her. We didn’t have a light in the dining room for a few weeks, and then he said the living room bulb had gone.”
My throat caught.
The Light Jar Page 10