by Sarah Piper
“Spooky’s right,” Asher said, squeezing my shoulder. Apparently, they were all there now. “No unnecessary risks, remember?”
I steamed for another minute, then finally relented.
“No unnecessary risks,” I said. They were right. There was no need for me to go to the realm tonight, no need to waste energy fighting an enemy hiding in the shadows. There would be plenty of time for that later.
Besides, I was a leader now, not some rogue witch playing dress-up with her powers and hiding out in the shadows of Blackmoon Bay. Those days were long gone. The witches were depending on me to see this through. And the guys had stood by me when I’d made the decision to become a vampire, despite their own personal feelings on the matter. I owed it to them to do this thing right. To learn my new strengths and weaknesses, figure out how they meshed with my old ones, and leverage all of that to become the most powerful vampire-witch I could.
“I’m good,” I said, finally shaking off the funk of all my failed attempts. A new burst of energy shot through my limbs—I was so ready to do this. “Let’s see how much mojo I can access without tapping into my realm.”
Still blindfolded, I waited a few minutes to give the guys time to scatter, then I stretched my arms wide, reaching for the energy around me, beneath me, inside me. It took a few minutes, but then I felt it again—the familiar tug, the warmth, the buzz of my magic as it connected with the earth and sky.
The sensations felt the same as they always had when I tapped into external magic, but tonight, with my vampire senses on high alert and my mind newly focused, everything was so much clearer.
I could sense the cold kiss of every snowflake alighting on my skin, feel the cool air whispering across the hairs on my neck, taste winter’s breath. If I concentrated hard enough, I could hear the snow falling, feel the earth shifting beneath it to accommodate its weight.
I am part of this. All of it.
Power surged inside. I felt amazing, like there was literally nothing I couldn’t do, no foe I couldn’t best, no battle I couldn’t survive.
“Come at me!” I shouted, a giggle bubbling up to the surface.
And come at me they did. Rather, come at me they tried.
For the next hour, they played the same game as before. But this time, no one even got close. I could feel the shift in the energy around me as they approached, sense the change in the air when they moved to grab me. I could scent each one of them, my mind seeing their moves a millisecond before they made them.
I danced and sidestepped every attempt easily, as smooth as water flowing over stones.
“You were right,” I said, when Darius finally called an end to the exercise. “The key was my magic. I felt like it unlocked something inside me—all that vamp potential. I feel incredible.”
I couldn’t help the smile that stretched across my face, but I could tell from the tight feeling inside that Darius wasn’t smiling back. I could sense him more clearly now, too—not just his presence, but his emotions. More than any of the other guys, I felt like I had a direct link to him now.
“What?” I asked him. “What’s wrong?”
“You definitely have an advantage over the rest of us mere single-entity beings,” Darius said. “Many advantages, actually. But you’re not wholly indestructible, Gray, and neither are any of us. We all have to fight hard, and we have to fight smart. You’ve still got a long way to go. I’m not ready to give you a medal just yet.”
“I think I’m doing pretty damn great for my first time out,” I said, a little defensively. Hadn’t I just proven that? Hadn’t I spent the last few hours proving that?
“For your first time out, absolutely,” he replied. “But that’s exactly what this is—your first time out. Liam’s right about statistical significance. We need more time to train, more time to know this isn’t just a fluke.”
“A fluke? Are you—”
“Sunrise isn’t for a few hours yet,” he said, leaving no room for argument. “I think we should run through that exercise one more time. After that, I’ve got some mental tests I’d like to…”
His words trailed off as I headed back the way we’d come, ditching my blindfold on the way.
“We’re not done yet!” he shouted, his voice echoing across the meadow. “You can’t possibly tell me you’re tired.”
I wasn’t tired—the opposite, actually. My body was buzzing with energy, glad for the exercise and the fun night out, despite the few hiccups and Darius’s apparent inability to dish out a compliment.
But I was also eager to get back to the lodge, to rest up before tomorrow night. I’d proven myself stable enough for public exposure—that much was certain. After a day’s rest, I’d finally be able to spend some time with my sisters.
I hadn’t even spoken to either of them since we’d gotten Adele out of that cell. The three of us had so much catching up to do.
“You guys can stay if you want,” I called over my shoulder, “but I’m ready for some hot chocolate and a nice roaring fire with—”
The howl of the wolf pierced my eardrums, and I spun around just in time to see Emilio charge at Liam, knocking him to the ground.
Liam struggled in vain to fight back.
And then Emilio, the man I loved, the one I trusted with my life and the lives of everyone I’d ever cared for, tore out Liam’s throat.
Nine
GRAY
“Liam!” I shot back across the meadow, launching myself at Emilio, desperate to put an end to the carnage…
I face-planted into the snow.
Emilio vanished. Liam vanished. The crimson pool of snow… All of it was gone.
What the fuck is going on?
I got to my knees, blinking away the lingering images, shocked as Liam came back into view.
He stood between Ash and Ronan, shivering in the cold but otherwise unharmed. All of them were watching me like I’d totally gone off the rails, which I basically had.
“Gray?” Liam’s brow furrowed as he knelt before me, reaching up to touch my face with a gloved hand. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t…” I closed my eyes, then opened them, certain I was losing my mind.
“You’re trembling,” he said.
“But… You’re alive!” I blurted out, hauling him against my chest in a crushing hug. Seconds later, Emilio bounded toward me, still in his wolf form, and pressed his nose against my thigh.
There was no blood. No vicious snarl. Only my beautiful, gentle wolf. I reached out and stroked behind his ear.
I’d imagined the whole thing.
“I heard Emilio howling,” I said, trying to piece it together. “Then I saw him… He attacked Liam. He… he killed him.”
Liam pulled out of my embrace and narrowed his eyes at me. “Gray, are you feeling alright?” Then, to Darius, “Perhaps we should get her home. The drop in external temperature seems to be adversely affecting her, or maybe the stress of all the activity after her lengthy bedrest.”
Darius shook his head. “I can assure you, Liam. Neither of those things is affecting her.”
“Then what the fuck was that?” I demanded, my limbs still vibrating, my heart heavy. Even with Liam in my arms, the grip of loss and grief had yet to fully retreat. “I saw him lying in a pool of his own blood.”
“That,” Darius said, hauling me to my feet, “was a lesson in the power of influence.”
“That… That was you?” I glared at him, my mouth dropping open. He’d actually made me hallucinate—made me believe—that one of the men I loved had just brutally murdered another.
How could he have been so cruel?
“I’m sorry for springing that on you,” Darius said, softer now. He took my face into his hands, swiping my tears with his thumbs. “It was the only way to make you truly see.”
“See what?” I asked. “You made me think Emilio… That he…. I watched him tear out Liam’s throat!”
“Dude, seriously?” Asher turned a fiery gaze on Darius. “T
hat’s a little fucked up, even for you.”
“What you call ‘a little fucked up’, hellspawn, I call making a very important point.” Turning his attention back to me, Darius said, “It was the first thing that came to mind—something I knew would blind you to all personal risk and send you charging in without a second thought. And you took the bait without question. You bolted straight for them, didn’t you?”
“I thought he was dead, asshole!” I shoved him in the chest, expecting to meet a solid wall of muscle, but sending him sprawling on his ass instead.
Right. Vampire strength.
The realization offered little consolation.
Darius got to his feet and brushed the snow off his backside, unfazed.
“You are physically stronger now, Gray,” he said. “Your speed and agility are almost limitless, your raw power like nothing I’ve ever encountered in a newborn, and your instincts—once you learned to start trusting them—are spot on. Your magic enhances all of those qualities, and we’ve only just begun to tap into that potential.”
“So what’s the problem?” I snapped, turning away from him. I wanted to keep my eyes on Liam and Emilio, to make sure they were still here. Really here.
“Despite all of that,” Darius continued, “you’re still not immune to the powers of a sadistic vampire bent on getting inside your head. If we run into rogues in the Bay—which we almost certainly will—they’re going to exploit you the first chance they get.”
“Then you’re basically saying we don’t stand a chance,” I said. “If anyone can make me hallucinate images like that, I’m toast.” I bent down and put my hands on my knees, still trying to catch my—well, breath wasn’t the right word anymore. More like my equilibrium.
That little mind trip had left me absolutely reeling.
“They can try to make you,” he said. “But they won’t succeed. Not if you learn to shield your mind.”
“That takes a lot of concentration, Darius. Not to mention energy. Not the most reliable tactic in a full-on combat situation, when I might have five other assailants coming at me, not to mention trying to keep track of the witches and you guys and everything else going on.”
“For a witch, yes, it would be a lot of energy,” he said. “But for a fellow vampire? It’s just a matter of learning the right technique. Then it becomes second nature.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “That simple, huh?”
“I never said anything about simple, love. Just possible.” He folded his arms across his chest and glared at me, driving home the point. “You’re the one ready to call it a night, so sure you’ve learned all you can. Perhaps next time you won’t be so hasty to dismiss the idea of additional training time.”
I stepped into his space, glaring at him right back. “Perhaps next time, bloodsucker, you won’t break into my head with a vision guaranteed to scar me for the rest of my damn life.”
Darius exploded, fisting the front of my jacket and hauling me close, nose to nose. Through gritted teeth, he said, “And how long do you expect that life to last if you refuse to learn even the most rudimentary—”
“Darius.” Ronan stepped in, a firm grip around Darius’s arm. “Can I have a word, please?”
His eyes had gone completely black.
Darius finally released me, and I turned my back on him, grateful as Ronan practically dragged him to the other side of the meadow. When I turned back to look at them, I saw Darius standing firm, arms crossed over his chest while Ronan paced in front of him, arms gesturing wildly.
Good. I hope he’s tearing you a new one.
“You okay?” Asher asked, offering a warm smile. It felt like the first I’d seen in a year, and when he opened his arms for a hug, I gladly accepted the offer, waving for Liam to join in.
A few minutes later, Ronan and Darius returned, Ronan sparing me a sympathetic glance before marching ahead, back toward the woods.
His eyes had returned to normal.
The others headed for the path, too, and I turned to follow them. But a soft touch on my shoulder stopped me in my tracks.
“I don’t want to talk right now, D,” I said.
“Then just listen. Please, Gray.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I nodded and turned around.
“I’m so, so sorry for putting you through that,” Darius said, his eyes glazing with unexpected emotion. “I wouldn’t have gone to such extremes if I thought I could make the point any other way.”
“So you’re sorry, but you’re standing by it?”
“I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying to protect you.”
“Darius. You have to know that if any one of you went down like that, not even a freight train could stop me from getting to you.”
“I understand. Which is why I needed you to see just how easy it would be to get inside your mind. If that happens when we’re fighting in the Bay, even for an instant, there’s nothing you’ll be able to do to regain the upper hand. You may not even realize you’ve lost it.”
“So we just have to make sure that doesn’t happen,” I said. He’d been right about that part, anyway. I still had a lot more to learn, and not a lot of time to learn it. “I get it, Darius. You made your point. Mission accomplished.”
“Hey.” Darius hooked a finger beneath my chin and tilted my face up, but I refused to meet his gaze. “Look at me, love. Please.”
I finally gave in.
“I meant what I said,” he continued. “I’m deeply sorry. I never meant to hurt you, only to shock you. Understand, Gray… I’m your sire. Yes, becoming a vampire was your decision, but ultimately, you would not have undergone the transformation if I hadn’t agreed, regardless of the state of my memories at the time.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I made you. It’s my responsibility to guide you through this. To ensure, to the absolute best of my ability, that you can come into this new power fully, to explore every facet of it, to know your strengths as well as your weaknesses. If I overlooked something, and you got hurt as a result, or worse…” His voice broke on the word, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head. “It was a bad call on my part. I should’ve found another way.”
“I… I accept your apology.” I wrapped my hands around his wrists, and he opened his eyes, his hands still cupping my face. His gaze softened as he looked at me, sweeping down to linger on my lips.
I swallowed, my mouth already watering for the taste of his kiss, sweet and tender and full of the love I knew he felt for me, sealing the momentary gap that’d come between us.
But I couldn’t kiss him. Not right now.
Offering a small but brief smile, I pulled out of his touch. “I said I accept your apology, and I do. And I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to learn the shielding techniques, and any additional training you want to put me through. But I just…” I closed my eyes, the image of Liam’s bleeding corpse still flashing through my mind. “I need a little space, okay?”
When I opened my eyes again, Darius was still standing before me, his lips pressed together, his face tight with guilt. With pain.
He hadn’t moved, hadn’t granted me the space I’d requested.
But I didn’t need to wait for it anymore. I was faster than him now, and without another thought, I blurred out of sight. The guys were still clomping through the snow along the trail, the hounds keeping guard at the rear, and I sped past the whole lot of them, not stopping until I reached the car.
By the time they all got back, I was already tucked safely into the back seat, wrapped up in a blanket, pretending to be fast asleep. Only Liam dared to sit near me. Dared to take my hand.
I squeezed it tight, holding it close for the drive home, taking comfort in the warm and solid reality of it.
The weight of Darius’s guilt felt like another person in the front seat. I didn’t want him to feel that way, but I couldn’t find the words to make it better for him just then. He didn’t understand—I wasn’t e
ven particularly angry with him anymore. Yes, his choice of imagery had been shocking and cruel, but I understood why he’d taken such an extreme measure.
It wasn’t that I’d needed space from him, or from what he’d done.
It was that I’d watched Liam’s blood soak into the snow until he had none left to lose.
In that brief moment, it had been real to me.
And for the first time since the Lord of Shadows visited my bedroom with talk of necromancy and the rare powers of the Shadowborn witch, for the first time since our journey through the Shadowrealm and hell, since he’d kissed me, since he’d confessed his betrayals, since he’d given me a rock carved with his signature raven feather, since he’d helped me bring Emilio back from the dead, since he’d sacrificed his eternal soul for us, since I’d fallen in love with him… For the first time in our long and winding relationship, I finally and truly understood that Liam—the Great Transformation, Older than the Seas, formerly known as Death Himself—could die.
Ten
GRAY
I spent the early morning sleeping in my own bed, blissfully alone and free from the restraints, blinds drawn tight against the daylight, door locked and guarded by both hounds to keep any would-be visitors away.
By the time I woke up, the sun had just set, and the lodge was buzzing with activity. I crept downstairs on quiet feet, hoping to catch my sisters alone. I found them in the kitchen; Verona had them working hard, pulverizing dried herbs and portioning them into glass jars while several other witches fluttered around them, collecting and labeling the full jars, looking over ingredient lists, taking stock of the herbs in the pantry.
They didn’t notice me at first, and I lingered in the doorway, taking a moment to soak it all in.
Haley was practically buzzing, talking a mile-a-minute, her smile bright and warm. If she was still dwelling on the blood oath she’d sworn in the crypt, she didn’t show it one bit. Her curves were coming back, as was her hair—the fuzz I’d gotten used to was now a cute pixie cut that made her green eyes pop.