My arms wrap around his neck, and I settle a leg on each side of his hips. Any other day, this would be something else, but right now, it’s comfort only. Jack clutches me to his chest as I tuck my face against his neck so we can just breathe each other in and cling to one another.
“I miss her,” I say.
“I know.”
“How do you miss someone you barely know?”
He kisses the side of my head. “You know her. We both do, and that’s why it hurts.”
I lean back, looking into those hazel eyes that hold so much love for me it’s crippling. “I struggle because this is the right thing. Samuel needs her far more than we do, and she needs him, but yet I need her. I want to laugh with her or smile at her facial expressions when she doesn’t like something. I want to watch her try to solve some math problem that is far over my head and then witness the joy when she figures it out. When she is sick, I want to be the one to make her better, and yet, I am all too aware that I gave away the right to want any of that when she was a baby.”
He lifts his hand, resting it on my cheek. “And Samuel didn’t slam the door in our faces about it. We have to hold out hope that he opens that door for us.”
A tear falls down my cheek. “I keep telling myself that. Now that she knows that we’re not horrible people and that we want her too, she will push for us.”
“She might.”
I release a shaky breath, and lay my head back down on his shoulder. “She might, but for now, I can’t think about it.”
Jack’s hand moves up and down my back, lulling me into a state of peace.
We stay like this for a long time, surrounded in the steam and warmth, bare to each other. We don’t try to fill the silence, choosing to just hold one another, kissing each other’s cheeks, necks, or noses when the moment presents itself.
Even in all the turmoil, I don’t drift too far because of him.
He tethers me, and I have never been more grateful for the love we share than I am now. Without Jack, I don’t know if I could survive this.
Chapter 40
Jack
Stella and I stay in the cabin, completely alone for two days. The people we love allow us the quiet time, and I’m grateful for it.
There is a level of grief we feel is too prodigious for anyone else to understand it.
On the third day, the peace we’ve started to settle into is disrupted.
By a very welcome person.
“Uncle Jack? Auntie Stella?” Amelia’s small voice causes us both to get up off the couch and head to the door.
But before we get there, her face is pressed to the window, her hands cupped around her face, as she peers in. “I see you!” she yells.
Stella’s smile is bright, and she lets out a soft laugh that almost sounds like a sob, but a happy one. “Melia,” Stella says as she opens the door before dropping down, pulling her into her arms. “Hi, my sweet little angel.”
“Are you sad? Daddy says you’re sad.”
She looks up at Grayson, who doesn’t try to look apologetic. “You are.”
Stella’s eyes turn back to Amelia. “I am, but I’m feeling much better now that you came to see me.”
Amelia’s hands frame Stella’s face. “Don’t be sad, Auntie. It’ll be okay because I love you.”
“I love you most.”
Gray steps forward, his hand clasps my shoulder. “You all right?”
“No, but I will be.”
He nods once. “I can’t imagine, and I won’t pretend to, but just know that you have a family who loves you and is always here to support you. You’re not alone, Jack. You don’t have to hide yourself away in this cabin. Your family is here to lean on.”
I’ve always considered myself part of the Parkerson crew in some way, but hearing him call me family, it’s a feeling I can’t describe. With Stella, I am found, as though the world finally makes sense, but when Grayson says I have a family, I have meaning. People who are here.
My father leaving after my mother’s death was hard. I struggled to understand what the hell I did wrong.
My father, the strong man who took care of everyone, was gone. He couldn’t function anymore. He drank and gambled. He left, giving up everything because it was easier than fighting for it.
I’ve been lost for a long time, wondering if I could have a family. I hadn’t realized that I always have.
“Come on,” Stella says, extending her hand to Amelia. “Let’s go see if we can find cookies or KitKats.”
Grayson groans. “KitKats for lunch? Come on, Stell.”
I laugh and watch them go off.
Stella spoils Amelia rotten, but their relationship is so much more than that. She’s been there for that little girl every step of the way, never letting her down and being someone she could rely on.
I stare at her, wondering what in the world I ever did to deserve her. How can I ever make things right for her? She should have everything, and I want to be the man who grants every wish she’s ever had.
“What’s that look?” Grayson asks.
“I love your sister.”
He snorts. “No shit.”
“I’m going to marry her.”
A plan starts to form, and I know exactly what I want to happen. It may take a little luck, but I’m going to make her hopes come true.
“Today?”
I shrug. “I might.”
Grayson laughs. “If I know my sister, she might just be crazy enough to do it.”
“She should have a wedding. The one she’s dreamed of.”
“Then I hope you’ve been very smart with your money, my friend. My sister plans parties like no other, and I would bet my ass that woman is going to want one hell of a party.”
“It would be worth it to see her smile. I guess this is me asking you for permission,” I say to him, the mood shifting to a more serious tone.
“Stella wouldn’t give a shit if you had permission, but I know it matters to you, and you have it.”
“Thanks, Gray.”
Grayson shakes his head with a grin. “I should’ve pushed you to her a long time ago.”
I look to him, confusion building. “What?”
“You guys are right together, and I think I’ve known that for a while. I . . . I don’t know, man. She’s my sister, you know? I didn’t want to lose either of you, so it was better to ignore every weird look the two of you shared.”
“So you did know?”
“I had a hunch. Especially when you practically became a monk.”
“I love her.” There really is no other explanation. To be with another woman felt stupid and wrong. I didn’t want to find a replacement version of Stella, not when the real thing was right there.
He watches his sister and daughter, who are curled up on the couch together, eating KitKats that Stella had delivered yesterday with a bunch of other groceries. They are busy giggling about whatever they’re discussing.
“A stupid man—his name is Jack, in case you’re wondering—told me once about moments. How life was all about moments. Well, Jack, the same one I just mentioned, live in the damn moment. If you love her, marry her before she realizes you are, in fact, stupid.”
I let out a silent laugh. “You should be a life coach.”
“I thought about it.”
“Failed the class?”
“Apparently, you’re supposed to be optimistic and encouraging, not a sarcastic ogre.”
I nod. “Seems we’re both out.”
“At least we’re failing together.” Grayson nudges my arm.
“As it should be.”
“Have you heard from Kinsley?” he asks softly.
That light feeling I had starts to drift away.
“No.”
“I’m sorry, Jack. For more than just that. I wish I had been the friend you needed during it all. If you had told me, I would’ve been there.”
“You would’ve been livid,” I correct.
“Maybe at fi
rst because I’m an asshole, but then I would’ve come around. Still, you shouldn’t have had to suffer alone.”
“She is who suffered alone.”
Stella didn’t have anyone other than her grandmother, and she passed away about a year after Kinsley was born. We both suffered in silence because of the threats from her parents.
“Doesn’t make it right for either of you.”
I let out a long sigh, which causes Stella to turn to me. Her eyes ask a million questions, but I wink, letting her know I’m fine. Her eyes narrow on Grayson, who raises his hands in surrender.
“Hey, I didn’t do anything. He breathed.”
“You made him breathe with anger.”
Grayson rolls his eyes and starts to walk away. “God help Jack for putting up with you.”
“I heard that.”
He turns back to her. “I’m glad. That man is going to be nominated for sainthood.” She sticks her tongue out at him, and everyone laughs. “Mature, as always, Meatball.”
“Whatever.”
When we step into the living room, Amelia leaps off Stella’s lap and runs to me. “Do you have any surprises for me?” she asks with her long lashes moving up and down. She’s perfected this innocent and sweet look.
While Stella feeds Amelia KitKats, I usually give her mints. She’s not picky about what contraband she gets so long as she gets it. “I might.”
Grayson groans. “No more sugar.”
“But, Gray, the best part is getting her all hopped up on it and then making her go home.” Stella grins, her hands tucked under her chin.
“I’ll be sure to have Jessica call you at her bedtime then.”
“Go ahead, I know how to silence a call.” Stella arches one brow.
He ignores her, focusing his attention back to me. I’m mostly grateful he missed where I gave Amelia a mint and stuck two in her pocket while he was sparring with his sister.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Gray asks.
“I will be,” Stella assures him.
We meet with two builders tomorrow, and hopefully, one will have the design and vision for what we’re looking for. I can’t imagine how the hell anyone will be able to pull it off because, when the six of us sat down, it was like a meeting of the minds.
Alexander is adamant we have something for teens because we all remember what it was like to vacation at places with nothing to do.
Stella is dead set on a spa that will appeal to women and those needing corporate retreats.
Josh and Oliver agree that there needs to be a lot of emphasis on wedding options, and Grayson just cares about the food.
And the budget we all anticipated will no doubt be much higher. It always is.
“We’re really counting on your instincts, Stell. It’ll make all the difference having you to help us see a better vision.”
“I know. You fools would have it as a frat house.”
Gray shrugs. “Probably, which is yet another reason we’re very glad that you’re our sister.”
“I’m glad too. Even if I would like to beat you with your own arms half the time.”
“It’s part of our charm.”
We spend the next hour talking while Amelia manages to get another candy bar and half a bag of mints out of us.
It’s the first time I can breathe, and I have hope that we’ll be okay after a little more time and with a little luck, next weekend will go my way.
Chapter 41
Stella
There should be a mediator required for every meeting my brothers are at because today has been nothing short of a damn shitshow.
“You all need a timeout,” I say as we enter Gray’s house.
Jessica looks just as angry as I am. No one would let the presenters speak before tossing in their two cents. It was chaos from the very beginning.
“The girl was inept.” Alexander gives us a scowl as he sits.
“No, she was the only one with a great vision!” I throw my hands up.
“I preferred her design, but Alex wouldn’t stop berating her,” Oliver says, agreeing with me.
We saw three very different designs and bids. All of them were unique, but there was really only one option that I felt was right. With a few tweaks, it will be perfect. Of course, it’s the one my brother couldn’t seem to control himself during.
I turn to him. “Seriously, what was the issue?”
“She didn’t listen.”
I blink a few times, wondering what planet he was on. “You’re serious?”
“Yes.”
“You think she didn’t listen to . . . who?”
Alex crosses his arms over his chest. “Me.”
“Oh, and I guess you’re just the be-all and end-all? She built you that stupid arcade. In fact, she was the only one!”
“It was half-assed!”
“You’re half-assed!” I yell.
“You really think kids are going to want to walk a mile into the fucking woods to play games?”
Again, I’m pretty sure my brother is having some sort of crisis we don’t know about. “Yes, Alex, I do. What kid wants to hang out with their friends in the same area as their parents? None that I can think of. If anything, Odette found a place that would appeal to teens and make you happy.”
He laughs once. “I’m not happy. And who the hell names their kid Odette?”
Grayson shakes his head this time. “We’re going with her.”
Josh nods. “Hers was, by far, the best pitch, and you know it.”
“I wasn’t happy with some of the wedding venue things, but they can be worked out. Her design definitely fit more of what we all talked about,” Oliver says.
Alexander, who I used to like a lot, groans and walks into the other room. I’ve never seen him act like this. He is beyond reason, and I’m starting to wonder if there’s something other than the resort design that is bothering him about Odette.
Jack finally clears his throat, bringing the attention to him. “Do I get a vote?”
Crap. I speak immediately. “Of course. Of course you do.”
“I like her. She has some great ideas, and she was the only designer who already had a crew ready to go. Also, she’s the only one who didn’t want to clear out way more land than was needed, which preserves the woods.”
“A necessity for your job,” Josh tacks on.
“Exactly,” Jack agrees.
Grayson glares at Alex before speaking. “I think we’re all, well, other than Alex, in agreement that this is the best option.”
I move beside Jack, taking his hand in mine. “It’s more than a best option for me,” I say. “Odette had the vision of what we wanted. Yes, there are some small things, but it’s nothing that will add to our budget.”
Alex returns, running his hand over his face. “I vote no. I think we need more designs.”
Joshua raises his finger at me when I open my mouth to argue. Then he speaks. “What aren’t you telling us?”
“I’ve told you everything.”
“Bullshit,” Josh counters.
A few seconds pass before Alex relents. “I know her.”
“I knew it!” I yell and then duck behind Jack, feeling Alex’s glare.
“Yeah, whatever. We hooked up a few years ago. She was in Savannah, and I didn’t expect her here.”
“Do you love her?” I ask, earning a scathing look from Josh.
To which I smile back like the annoying little sister I will always be.
“No.”
“Since you hooked up, has she tried to ruin you?”
Alex huffs. “No.”
“Did she steal money?”
“No.”
“Give you an STD?”
He flips me off.
I raise my hands and drop them. “Then you want to punish her and her company because she realized you’re not a catch and broke it off before you did?”
Josh steps in when Alex’s glare becomes murderous, and Jack suddenly feels much bigger in
front of me.
Oh, I like this caveman feel to my man. That’s right, Jack, fight him.
Grayson clears his throat. “Okay, is there any valid reason you can’t work with her?”
Alex shakes his head. “No, and you’re all right. She has the best design, and I think she’ll do a good job.”
And it’s settled. We’ll go with Odette’s design and her team.
My first thought is how I wish I could tell Kinsley but can’t. I can’t tell her or call her because we haven’t heard from Samuel yet.
Jack leans down and kisses me softly before I rest my head on his chest, hating that what should be a happy moment feels bleak.
We head to my place first to pick up more clothes and items I want. When we get to the door, I pause.
I don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to see the room she was in. I don’t want to look at the kitchen where flour, batter, and eggs were thrown around. My safe space doesn’t feel so safe anymore.
It’s lonely because she’s gone.
I think I could’ve handled this better if I didn’t think that I’d still get to at least talk to her after we left. It’s been four days without a word.
Samuel assured us that he was completely fine with us having a relationship with Kinsley. So, the lack of communication must be from her. She doesn’t want us, and that’s a far harder blow than I was prepared for.
“Ready?” Jack asks.
“Yeah, I’m being stupid.”
“You’re not. I’m remembering it all too.”
I look up to find his hazel eyes watching me. “It’ll get better.” I’m not sure if I’m asking him or reminding myself.
“It will. You know, at some point, you’re going to have to decide whether we’re going to live at my cabin or back here.”
My lips turn into a grin. “So, we’re officially living together?”
“I moved into your place for a month, and now we’re staying at mine. I don’t know what you call it, baby, but I’d say we took that step.”
“I guess we’re not really a normal couple anyway.”
Jack laughs. “You mean it’s not normal to love someone for fifteen years, finally get together at her brother’s wedding, and then move in a few months later?”
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