He grabs my hips, moving me faster. “Fuck, Stella, I can’t hold back.”
“I’m close,” I tell him. Between the words and the sensations, I’m not going to be able to hold on either.
His thumb finds my clit, and we start to move faster together. The moment too great to look away, and I come. I cry his name, forcing my eyes to stay open, knowing he’ll catch me.
And then I realize I’ll catch him too.
He follows me over the cliff, and then we both hold each other as we fall to the ground.
“You know that sounded an awful lot like marriage vows,” Jack says as he plays with my hair.
We’re still in front of the fire, only now we have a blanket around us and I’m blissed out on his chest.
“Maybe I was practicing,” I muse.
“So, when I hear that again, should I act surprised?”
I lift my head, resting it on my hand. “If you ever actually propose and marry me, maybe you’d know.”
He rolls his eyes and chuckles. “You’re so cute when you’re a headcase.”
I sigh and go back to listening to the sounds of the fire crackle and his heartbeat. His fingers continue to glide through my hair, lulling me into a serene place.
My eyes close, and I start to drift until the sound of my phone pinging with a text has me wide awake and sitting up.
Jack does the same, moving to burrow through his clothing to find my phone. After what feels like forever, he pulls the phone out, handing it to me. When I see Kinsley’s name, I practically drop it because I’m moving too fast to swipe the screen, anxious to see what she said.
Kinsley: I miss you guys. I have a test to study for tonight, but maybe we can talk tomorrow?
Tears fill my eyes, making it hard to type out a response, but I will them back.
Me: We miss you, and absolutely. Call anytime.
I look up at Jack, a smile on my lips. “She wants us.”
“I knew she would.”
I breathe again, feeling a sense of happiness that is overwhelming. Jack pulls me back to his chest, and the tears that come this time are happy.
She wants us.
Chapter 44
Jack
“Thank you for meeting me and thanks for not telling anyone. I lied to Stella.”
“Lied?”
I nod. “She thinks I’m in the woods for work.”
Samuel smiles. “Instead of being in Georgia for some mystery conversation.”
“Exactly.”
Samuel is calmer than I expected.
We caught up on our pleasantries, ordered our food, and talked a little about Kinsley. She’s supposed to call Stella and me today, but I’m here and am hoping I might get to see her and set my plan in motion.
“On a normal day, I’d love to sit and have a meal with you, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know more about this proposal you said you were planning.”
“I am, in three days. I’d like for you and Kinsley to be there. I have it all planned and I really want the people who matter to Stella and I there. Her brothers, all of whom Kinsley has already met, will be there.”
Samuel nods. “I see.”
There’s more, and while I’d like to ease into this, I can see from his body language that this is actually worse than me just coming out with it.
“More than that, I’d like you to stay in Willow Creek Valley.”
His eyes widen and he sputters. “Wh-what? How? I’m not charity.”
“I don’t think you are,” I say quickly. “The truth is, I need your help. We are opening a resort. Stella and her brothers are building it on land they own. I’m moving my business into the Firefly Resort, but I need a foreman to oversee my part of the construction.”
Samuel leans back. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not. I already spoke with the contractor, stating that I wanted my own crew under their umbrella because I have people who I’d like working on this with me. You being one of them and then if it works out, she has other projects lined up.”
He opens his mouth to speak and then stops.
I decide to continue on. “I won’t lie and say that a part of the offer isn’t because I’d like to have Kinsley close to us. We love her, Samuel. The same way you do. I’m not her dad, I know that, but I am her father, and I’d like to be in her life. Stella is dying inside, and it’s killing me. The benefits, in my opinion, are worth it for both of us. You get an amazing job and a support system in Willow Creek Valley that you don’t have here while we get to have a very dysfunctional family dynamic.”
Samuel leans forward. “This is a lot to take in.”
“I know, and I’m not asking for a decision now. It’s just that, my father was an alcoholic, and after my mom passed away, he left. I think a big reason he did was because he felt alone.” I tell him, not to sway him, but to let him know that I understand. “You don’t have to be alone. You’ll have me, Stella, and her entire, invasive family no matter what you decide. They love Kinsley too, and believe me, they will be there, even when you wish they weren’t.”
He cracks a smile. “During my treatment, I kept wondering how I was going to do this once I got out. I would lay in bed, wondering if Kinsley would be better off without me.”
“She wouldn’t be.” There is not a doubt in my mind about that. “She needs you, and honestly, Samuel, we do too. You saved Stella and me at a time when we were drowning. You and Misty were a life raft, and I’m asking you to let us be the same for you. Come up this weekend, stay at my cabin. You and Kinsley will be comfortable there. Stella and I will stay at her place, and you can just . . . feel it out. But you have a job up there waiting if you want it.”
I’ve said all I can, offered a hand that I pray he’ll take. If he doesn’t, then it’s on him and I have to respect that. This option gives us all what we need—each other.
“How would it work?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“With Kinsley.”
I release a heavy sigh. “I really don’t know. My hope is that we—you, me, and Stella—could be there for her in whatever capacity works. You’re her dad, that’ll always be the case, but Stella and I could be there, too, as her friends. We love her, and getting time with her changed things. I don’t know how we could ever go back to pretending otherwise. It may not work or it might be the best thing in the world for us. I don’t know, but I have got a job, support, and friendship to offer you.”
Samuel’s eyes fill with tears, and he sniffs. “I don’t know what to say. I really don’t. I’ve been struggling a lot with what the hell I’m going to do. I can’t find a job, I want and need to stay sober, and I miss my wife. I don’t know how to raise a teenage girl.”
“Neither do I,” I say with a laugh. “But I know a woman who will move heaven and Earth to figure it out for us.”
He nods, takes a sip of his coffee, and then sighs. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask, well, and that you come this weekend.”
“That I can do.”
“Good.”
“Jack!” Kinsley runs toward me and then wraps her arms around me. “You’re here! Is Stella?”
I will never forget this moment, not even if my memory goes. Seeing my daughter run toward me with excitement, it is . . . well, it’s the best goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.
“No, kid, just me this time.”
“Is she okay?”
I nod. “She is, but I’m not sure I will be when she finds out I got to see you.”
“Why?”
“Because she misses you,” I say with a grin. I missed her too. I didn’t realize just how much until I caught sight of her. It’s been just over a week, and I swear it’s been years.
“I miss her too. Did you watch the end of the show?”
“No, we didn’t.”
She shakes her head. “It was stupid. And predictable. I guess math is supposed to be that though.”
The show
we started watching was a dating game based on math equations. Everything was done by answering a questionnaire and seeing your score to match you with whoever was the same as you. Kinsley and I had a lot of fun trying to decipher their scoring of algorithms and basic equations. Stella did not give a shit about the math but liked the show.
“Did you figure it out?”
She grins. “Maybe.”
“You’re going to leave me hanging?” I ask.
Kinsley shrugs. “The fun of it is the math. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you.”
Jesus, she sounds just like Stella.
“Whatever. I drove down to let you and your dad know that I’m going to propose to Stella in a few days. I know you have school tomorrow, but . . . I was hoping maybe you’d be willing to skip it and come back to Willow Creek Valley for it? You could keep her busy while I work on the other stuff?”
Kinsley’s entire face lights up with a smile so bright she could blind me. “Really?”
I nod, and Samuel grins. “I guess you want to go?” he asks.
“Yeah! If that’s okay, Dad? I would love to see her face. I’m sure she’s going to be so surprised.”
“Not entirely,” I tell her.
“What? Isn’t that the point?”
I huff. “Stella . . . well, that’s all I can say. Stella. She sort of knows already, and she’s being an incredible pain in my ass, er, butt.”
Kinsley shakes her head. “She loves you.”
“She does, and I’m incredibly happy for that. So, you’d like to come?”
“Can I?” she asks Samuel.
“We both are. We’ll head back with Jack in the morning and spend the weekend there.”
Thank God, this might actually work.
Chapter 45
Stella
“Coming!” I yell toward whoever is pounding insistently on the door. “Jesus, give a girl a minute to put some pants on!”
I hurry over, yanking it open to see Winnie there, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a cake in the other. “You could’ve skipped the pants.”
“Win,” I say almost as a breath.
“Can I come in?”
I pull the door open, wishing her hands were free so I could wrap her into a hug. She enters, setting the wine and cake down before throwing her arms around me and holding me tight. “Are you okay?”
I nod, forcing back the tears. “I’m okay.”
“What about good?”
“Not there yet.”
“You will be.”
I smile. “Yeah, thanks to people like you.”
Winnie looks around. “So, you’re moving in here?”
“No. No way. This is temporary. You know, until thinking about my place doesn’t hurt so much. Jack is in the woods now, so we’re going to talk about it when he gets back.”
I love Jack, and his place is great . . . for a single guy, but I miss my house. I love the fact that my microwave doesn’t make that grinding noise, and I miss central heat and air. It’s rustic, and I really don’t do rustic, even if it has a hot tub.
I’m more of a modern girl who likes to think she’s rustic.
“You could always come stay at my house.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, that would be super comfortable while you’re still banging that Easton guy.”
“I know you didn’t love him when you met him, but he’s good to me.”
“That’s good. And it’s not that I didn’t like him, I just hated the guy you were trying to set me up with.”
She laughs. “In my defense, I didn’t know you were completely in love with Jack.”
I sigh. “I’m sorry I never told you about any of it.”
Winnie shakes her head. “I’m not mad, Stell. I get why you didn’t tell me. I think I was more upset that you have gone through all this on your own for this long.”
“It wasn’t easy.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t. You and I have never kept secrets, and yet you had a kid with Jack.”
I wanted to tell her so many freaking times, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t just my secret to share.
“We made promises, Jack and I, when she was born. It was better to keep the circle as small as possible.”
She gives me a soft smile. “Still, it was a lot for you to handle on your own.”
“Yeah, but . . . I survived.” I decide to switch topics because the longer we go down this road, the more likely it will be that she’ll ask about Kinsley, and I really want to stop hurting for a bit and enjoy my best friend. “Tell me more about Easton . . .”
She launches into a discussion, telling me about how great he is and the dates they’ve gone on. I’ve never seen her so animated and happy before. It’s sweet, and there’s no one in the world who deserves this more than she does. “I don’t know, I can’t explain it,” she says all dreamy-like. “I think about him all the time. He makes me smile, and he’s just a great guy.”
“Why didn’t you bring him to Amelia’s party?” I ask.
“And have him meet my sister and Gray for the first time with your entire family? No thanks.”
I laugh, understanding all too well.
“He hasn’t met Gray and Jess yet?”
“No, I’m avoiding that until I decide we might get married, and even then, I may keep him away from Gray.”
Grayson is very protective of anyone he thinks he should be. Winnie never fell into that category until he married her sister. Now she’s enjoying all the “benefits” that come along with it.
“He gets better,” I lie.
“Yeah, I don’t believe you.” We sit on the couch, and Winnie’s hand rests on my arm. “I would’ve come by sooner, but I figured you might need time.”
“I did. Your texts were appreciated, though, and I know you would’ve come if I asked.”
“In a second. How is Jack doing?” Her voice takes a weird tone as she draws the question out slowly.
“He’s better than I am—or, at least, he’s better at pretending he is. I always thought of myself as strong, and then this happened, and I don’t know who I am.”
I’ve grappled with this so much. I don’t cry. At least not like this. I may get upset, shed a few tears, and then move on. Having panic attacks? Not me. It was just too much. Like the weight of the world landed on me, and I couldn’t get out from under it. I knew what the outcome would be from the minute we agreed to help Samuel, but leaving her again, it tore my heart from my chest.
It’s been over a week since I’ve talked to her, and I am struggling with that too.
“You’re the same, Stell. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, and I won’t pretend that I can, but you’re allowed to feel and cry and be angry. It was a horrible situation that you and Jack knew wouldn’t be easy. But you are a far better human than I ever could be.”
I give her a look that says I don’t believe that. “You’d do the same.”
“No, I don’t know that I would.”
I exhale and look out the window at the horizon. “You would. There’s nothing a mother won’t do for her kid, even if it means staying away.”
“I’m sorry.”
I give her a half-hearted smile. “Don’t. She’s a great kid, and I’m proud that I brought her into this world, even if I don’t get to walk beside her.”
“That’s beautiful, Stell. And you never know when she may want that door opened.”
I think of her text and the call that never came. “I know.” I grip Winnie’s hand and smile. “Cake?”
She nods. “And wine.”
We get up and grab plates, forks, and then she’s scouring for something. “Does he have a wine opener?”
I think I saw one. “Maybe?” We both open drawers, rummaging around. Jack has zero order to this place. Nothing goes where it should, and I find myself starting to rearrange his drawers while I’m looking for the wine opener. “Why the hell is there a deck of cards in with the silverware?”
She laughs. “No idea, but
you can’t live like this.”
“No, I definitely can’t,” I agree and bite my lip. “It would be a really nice thing to make his house a little more organized, right?”
“Most definitely. It’s like your love language.”
“What? Being invasive and rearranging his home?”
“I think of this more as an act of service. You know, you’re donating your expertise on how to live like an adult to your overgrown man-child of a boyfriend.”
“He’s been doing just fine without me.”
She looks around. “Has he?”
I laugh. “Well, he’s been surviving.”
“And now you’re here to set him free!”
“Thank God for that,” I say with a smile and empty another drawer.
“Oh, move this over there. That way the plates, cups, and silverware make a triangle.”
I nod. “Good idea.”
“He’s going to kill you, you know this?”
I shrug. “It’s worth it.”
We pour wine, laugh, and talk of nothing but nonsense. The music is blaring in the background while we sing along to the music legend, DMX, and for a few hours, Winnie lets me just feel normal again.
I’m lying on the couch after a long day of hanging out with Winnie, cleaning, and making Jack’s place look pretty fantastic if I say so myself. Winnie and I ate the entire cake, and I—and I do mean me—polished off two bottles of wine. She had one glass, I had the rest of the bottle she brought plus one of the bottles I found in Jack’s cupboard. He never drinks wine, so it could even be from the previous owners, but it was still good, so I don’t care.
My head is swimming, and it feels fucking glorious. I like this floaty-no-pain-and-everything-is-fine place. It’s nice here.
The fire is going because the weather is starting to cool after the sun goes down and I need more warmth. Jack’s cabin is only heated by this glorious fireplace, so I keep the blaze going.
My phone is somewhere. Winnie took it away from me around the fourth glass of wine because I kept checking it.
Could Have Been Us Page 27