by Elle Casey
"But how is he doing that? Like you said, he's just a changeling." I turned on the water and ran my fingers under it, letting the Water element soothe my frayed nerves.
"Exactly. And you know what happens to changelings when they go in and out of the Gray too much, right?"
"They get a taint on their souls." I remembered very clearly how sick Tony got. He’d needed double succubus sexy love to get healed. It was what had started his relationship with Felicia. It had also started a lot of arguments between her and her twin sister Theresa, but apparently they'd made up enough to work together with Brad. It probably had something to do with those muscles of his. They could be pretty convincing.
"Exactly. A taint that doesn't want to go away." Tim narrowed his eyes at me. "I can see the hamster running on that exercise wheel that powers your brain…and he looks like he's getting tired. Try to keep up, though, because there's more to this story."
"Shut up." I turned the water off and went back to looking at my reflection in the mirror. Nothing had improved on that score; I still looked way too old for my age. "I don't have a hamster powering my brain. I have a supercomputer in there, and it's running at full capacity." I figured maybe if I said it, it would be true. In actuality, it felt like I was two steps away from falling flat on my face with fatigue.
"Yeah. Okay. Anywho…as you saw outside your bedroom door, those succubi twins have been working overtime to keep Brad going."
I snorted. I couldn't help myself; Tim said it like they were all hating life when what they were actually doing was getting it on like Donkey Kong. It was a Barbie on Ken free-for-all. "I'm sure he's been tortured by the entire process. All that twin succubi love giving him nightmares? Please. I doubt it."
"You think you're joking, but you're not. I mean, not that I've been a beneficiary of the twins' healing powers before, but I've seen the end result, and let me tell you, it's not for the faint of heart."
That sobered me up a little. "So, is he okay or not?"
"I think he's going to be okay. He's really tough. And, boy, is he determined. I don't think I've ever met somebody who wanted to be fae more than he does."
"Not even Scrum?"
"Yeah, okay, it might be a tie between those two. But Scrum's been fae for a while now, so he's kinda cool about it. This guy Brad, man…Jared should take him on recruitment runs. Your guy's ready to run for the fae glee club president."
"Do we have a glee club?"
"Hush, child. You know what I meant."
A memory of Brad telling me about his sad life flashed into my head. "That's cool. That's really cool. I'm happy for him."
"Be happy for yourself. If anybody can save Tony, it's Brad."
I swallowed with difficulty, the reality of the situation crashing back into my present. "What do you mean?"
Tim was pacing again. "Okay, so you know that Tony was injured in the Overworld, right?"
"I did see him at the wrong end of a sword a couple times, but then everything went blank and I lost track of everything."
"Yeah, right. Join the club. Anyway, when everything went down, he was pretty much half dead, which meant he ended up in the Gray along with Spike, who was also…eh…not doing so well in the health department."
CHAPTER FIVE
CHILLS TOOK OVER my body. I gripped the sink again to keep from falling. "What does that mean?"
"It means they're neither here nor there. They're not alive and they're not dead. And we think, in theory, that we can bring them back to the Here and Now without breaking any rules, because they didn't actually die. We just haven't quite figured out how to do it. We were able to bring Scrum and Becky back no problem, but both Spike and Tony have proven more difficult."
"Why?"
"Again, we're not sure, but we think it could either be the severity of their injuries or maybe even their personalities."
"Personalities? As in, they're stubborn?" This gave me hope. I was sure I could talk them out of whatever their stupid man-heads were thinking, if given the chance.
"Could be that, or it could be that there are issues with their races that make them more apt to stay in a place like the Gray. I mean, we're talking about an incubus who likes to suck the energy out of fae and people—and there's a lot of weird energy hanging around in the Gray for sure—and a wrathe; Tony was born to walk around in the Gray, and the longer someone does that, the more likely they are to get stuck in there."
"Okay, so, basically, what you're telling me is that my best friend and the love of my life are stuck in the Gray void where I can neither help them nor find them."
"No, not exactly. Brad can bring you in there to see them. You can't stay in for long, and you may not like what you see when you get in there, but you can go in."
I turned on the water again and waited for it to get as cold as possible before splashing it liberally onto my face. "I'm not sure I want to know what you meant by that last part." I turned my head to look at him, causing water to drip everywhere.
"Well, I'm going to give you the details anyway, sister, because you asked for the truth and I'm here to deliver it. You know people who hang out in the Gray start to get lost, right? They slowly forget where they're supposed to be and where they wanted to be in the first place. They lose track of all the important things in life. And then they tend to just wander around without purpose. Without memories. Without…anything." His voice dropped to a haunting whisper. "Like zombies."
I ignored the zombie part of his story because I was quite sure it had been included for dramatic flair only. "Tony told me about that. He said spirits or souls or whatever that didn't know how to move on could get stuck in there forever. He used to guide them on to the Otherworlds."
"Exactly. And Spike and Tony are definitely at the point now where they don't want to move on anywhere. I personally think it's because they know they don't belong in there and they also know they don't belong being dead, so they're clinging to the idea of being in limbo as a best-case-scenario kind of thing." His sigh echoed the frustration that was building up inside of me. "We were thinking also that they might be hanging on for you. And if that's the case, maybe you could go in there and talk some sense into those zombies. But it's up to you whether you want to do that or not. No pressure or anything. I mean, it could have nothing at all to do with you. They could be hanging on for a nice turkey sandwich. Who knows what it'll take to break them out of the trances they seem to be in? But so far, everything we've tried has failed. And for the record, I did suggest that Brad be given a nice turkey sandwich to bring in to them, but my idea was shot down." He shook his head in disappointment. "I'll tell you what… the Council has a lot to learn about respecting pixie intuition. They discount me every time…"
I started stripping off my clothing, interrupting what was sure to be a litany of complaints against the Council and its ignorance of all things pixie. "Tell me what the Council has done so far."
"Okay, let's see…" He started ticking one finger at a time. "First, we tried the obvious: succubus love. That was a big strikeout."
"That's the first thing I would've tried too. Why did they strike out?"
"Because, apparently, when you're hanging out in the Gray as a wrathe or an incubus, you really don't give a hoot about hooters, if you know what I mean. But a live succubus who doesn't belong in there tends to draw in other spirits who feed off their life energy, so…"
"Okay, so we're talking limp dickage in the Gray. Gotcha."
"Exactly. Then we tried sending Brad in. And you gotta give the guy credit, because he sure did give it the old college try, but we almost lost him too, so we had to pull him out."
"And this is why the two succubus Barbie dolls now look like two strung-out homeless girls?" What I saw earlier was becoming clearer.
"Exactly. See? I knew you'd get it eventually. You're not nearly as slow as some people think you are." He continued without missing a beat. "And then the last option we were thinking of trying was a spell. Red was all se
t to go too, but then Scrum got an itchy feeling telling him that you were close by, so we put that one on hold."
I paused in the process of throwing my underwear into the corner. "First, can we just clarify that itchy feeling? Where exactly does Scrum get itchy when I show up?" Please don't say it's on his ass.
Tim grimaced. "I did not ask and I do not want to know." He shuddered. "Silly gnome head that he is…it could be anywhere."
"Okay, fine." I threw my underwear across the bathroom where it hit the wall and fell to the floor. I planned to ask Netter, my brownie, to burn my entire outfit. "Moving on to the second issue… You went to Red asking for a spell? Are you friggin kidding me? After everything he's already done, you actually considered allowing his shit magic near my best friend and the love of my life?"
Tim threw his hands up. "We were desperate! But if you have better ideas, I know the Council is waiting to hear them."
I shrugged as I reached into the shower to turn on the hot water. "Yeah, I have an idea. And as soon as I'm out of here, I'm going to go execute it."
"That's what I'm talking about. Let's hear it. What's the plan?"
I looked over my shoulder and caught Tim rubbing his hands together like an evil villain. He definitely looked like he was ready to get into some trouble. I tested the water with my fingertips. I wanted it to be just slightly less than scaldingly hot so I could melt all the grime off me. "I didn't say you're going with me." I checked to see how my roommate was handling the news as I stepped into the stream of hot water.
He put his hands on his hips. "Excuse me, but I think you've forgotten who you're talking to."
"I don't think so. You're Tim the pixie, right?" Double-oh Dumbass. Hee hee. The water felt so good, I wanted to dissolve into it. And as soon as I had that thought, I could feel my body fading. I immediately got rid of the vision and forced myself to stay present. Apparently, it was super easy for me to fall into my elements now. Was it because I'd so recently been hanging out in the white void or because I was supposedly wielding all four elements and this somehow made me more susceptible? I had no idea. Did this mean I was going to have to walk on eggshells all the time to make sure I didn't disappear? That was going to be damn inconvenient, if that was the case. I wasn't exactly the walking-on-eggshells type. And Ben had only one life to give to save me and he'd already spent that currency. I felt sad for the loss of our wind and fire elemental all over again and wondered if I was ever going to run out of tears. They seemed to keep coming without any sign of stopping.
Tim was fit to be tied. "Oh, but I do think you have forgotten who you're talking to. So let me remind you: I am your roommate. And not only that, I'm also your second-best friend, your adoptive father, your adopted brother from another mother, your adopted cousin, and your adopted pixieman. Need I go on?"
I sighed. "Yes, it's true; you are all those things. But I don't remember you being my boss."
"I'm better than a boss. I'm a non-romantical soulmate."
I closed my eyes as the hot water poured over me. It masked the tears running down my face. Tim was probably the most amazing soul I would ever know in my entire life. He was fearless. He was ridiculous. He was only three centimeters high, but he was larger than any life I'd ever known. If there was anybody who could be by my side when I did what had to be done, I wanted it to be him. I just didn't know if I could allow him to risk that. Because he seriously mattered, and not just to me.
"Are you listening to me?" he asked. "I feel like I'm being bubble shunned. You'd better not be bubble shunning me."
"I'm listening. I'm just trying to decide what to do."
"There's no need to decide anything. Whatever you do, I'm doing it with you. Decision made. Game over. Cha-ching, tah-dah, and zip diddie doo dah. I call shotgun, tag you're it, last lick, and no take-backs. Done deal. Over and out. Boom, I win. I'm going and you can't stop me."
I looked at his ridiculous self through the opening in my shower curtain. "What about your family?"
"My family knows where I stand on this. And they fully support not only yours truly, but our Mother, not to mention our continued existence on this planet. Like I've told you many times, Abby doesn't want a wimp for a husband, and my son certainly can't have one as a role model. My boy can't be proud of a pixie dad who sits on the sidelines while everybody else does the right thing. No, sir. That's shameful behavior, and I won't have it. But don't you worry; we've handled it. We have a plan. Abby and Willy are not going to be sitting on the sidelines anymore. We had a family meeting, and they've decided that they're in this with me. And Willy has been training while you've been gone. He's ready to take his rightful place at my side. They're both ready. We're all ready. We serve the Mother and ain't nobody gonna stop us." He started busting a move that involved finger snapping and hip thrusting along with a severe overbite and a lame attempt at pop 'n' lockin'.
I had to laugh. "You're kidding me, right? You trained your baby to be a fighter?"
"No, not to be a fighter, don't be ridiculous. I do have some parenting skills. Well, Abby does, anyway. He's no fighter, but he's really good at hiding and avoiding trouble now. If there's ever a fight nearby, he'll disappear, and no one will ever find him until he wants to be found."
I snorted, accidentally sucking water up into my sinus passages. I couldn't talk until I cleared it out first. When I could finally breathe again and the burning in my nose stopped, I fixed Tim with one of my give-me-a-serious-break stares. "There is no way you got that tiny, little, trouble-making, drunk-ass-flying bumblebee to do what you're claiming he can do. You and I both know very well at the first sign of danger, he will put himself right in the middle of it."
Tim stopped his dancing shenanigans and folded his arms across his chest. "You think so, huh? Well, you can just wait and see. My son came swimming out of a seriously badass gene pool, Miss Blackthorn. He's not somebody you want to trifle with or underestimate." He arched his right eyebrow halfway up his forehead in challenge.
"Well, I know he's seriously badass with jamming pollyballs into nostrils, but I don't know about the rest of it." Even though I didn't have any hair left, I still shampooed my scalp, hoping I could stave off any potential dandruff issues. I scrubbed the skin of my arms, torso, and legs until it was red and started to hurt. I still wasn't convinced I had all the stink off me, though. When I was finally to the point of giving up, I sat down on the floor of the shower, resting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. I heard Tim's voice very close by and turned my head to find him standing at the edge of the shower, ducking droplets of water.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice much calmer. "Seriously. I know you've been through a lot, and we're about to ask a lot more of you. If you're not up to it, you need to say so. Nobody would think anything bad if you needed a timeout."
"I don't need a timeout. I just need to know one thing, Tim. And you're the only one right now who can give me the answer to my question. Am I still pregnant?" I wasn't sure what answer I wanted him to give me. Yes, starting a family at my age and during this point of upheaval in my life was irresponsible and stupid; even I knew that. But I loved Spike and he loved me, and we had created a life out of that love. Nothing bad could come of that, I was convinced. The idea of being a mother—like a real live mother who disciplines and reads bedtime stories, not a fae Mother—made me want to run for the hills. But it also filled me with a strange sense of purpose. I would have to be my very best self when I was a mom. It would mean a lot of changes and hard decisions I normally didn't indulge in when it was only me I had to take care of.
He looked up at the shower nozzle. "If you shut that thing off, I'll come in there and let you know."
I reached up to twist the nozzle fully around so it would turn off, going back to sitting in my wet chamber after the water slowed to a steady drip. It felt like a butterfly landed on my shoulder shortly thereafter, but then it started tromping around and I knew it was no butterfly; it was Doctor Tim, ob-gyn.
"Huh. Interesting. Not exactly what I expected. Hmmm…verrrry iiiiinteresting."
I lifted my head from my hands and turned it as far sideways as I could. He was so close he was blurry. "You are seriously pressing all the wrong buttons right now, you know that, right?"
"Dr. Tim has come to his medical conclusions. Are you sure you want to hear them?" He lifted off my shoulder, floating at eye-level just outside the shower area.
"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." I was battling to keep my eyelids open. I was so tired I could have fallen asleep right there in the shower at that point.
"Okay…do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
"There's bad news?"
"Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. It could be good news and more good news. Personally, I'm not sure I'd go there, but hey, maybe you're just one of those people who sees the glass as half full."
"You have five seconds. Five, four,…"
"Why are you rushing me? You know these things are better when they're built up."
"Maybe they are sometimes, yes, but not today. I am dead on my feet even after this shower, and I still have a ton of stuff to do."
He pointed up at the shower controls. "If I were you, I'd turn that nozzle fully to the left. Time for a cold shower. Make it super brisk. This is going to need your full attention."
He flew away and stood on the edge of the bathroom sink as I got to my feet and put my hand on the nozzle. "Why?"
His smile was crooked. "Because, yes, you are still pregnant. Only now I just realized something else."
"What?"
"You're pregnant times two. There are two little Jaynes in there. You're pregnant with twins."
I turned the nozzle fully to the left and screamed when the cold water blasted me right in the face.
CHAPTER SIX
SO MUCH FOR having an audience with the people I really wanted to talk to. Instead of hanging out with my friends and getting the low-down on what had happened to them while I was lost in the past and then trapped in the white void, I was sitting with the entire Council in Ben's old living room. No one had forced me to do it, but Tim's shocking news had made me realize that there was no time to waste. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed the collective wisdom of the gray elves and the Council members to help me formulate a plan. My reunion with my friends would just have to wait a little while longer.