by Ehud Diskin
“Forget it, Max,” I assured him. “You gave me a job. And when I really needed it, you were there to help me. That’s all that matters.”
Max blushed and cleared his throat several times. “Well then, I’m going to the restaurant. See you later.”
I fell asleep with Shoshana’s hand caressing mine and slept for most of the day. The pain in my leg woke me twice, and Nelka gave me painkillers. Sometime that night, the pain subsided, and my fever dropped to normal.
Shoshana and Alec came to visit after their shift at the restaurant. I asked Shoshana to tell Avrum and Hannah that I was out of the city, focused on finding my aunt and uncle, and for Alec to tell Yousef the same thing.
I woke the next morning feeling much better, and for the first time since being shot, I devoured the breakfast Nelka made for me—an omelet, a salad, and a glass of hot chocolate.
When Max came into the room, I asked if he could bring me his copy of The House of the Wolfings. Max owned a first edition, printed in London in 1889. It was a mixture of prose and poetry, and I struggled to understand many of the words.
The book was interesting, telling the story of an extended family, a tribe of sorts, known as the House of the Wolfings. They lived in harmony with nature in a clearing in a forest enveloped by mist. They were idealists who wished to live in peace but knew how to defend themselves and fiercely guarded their independence. The book was steeped in mystery and myths about gods and magic.
When I got to the part that told of an attack by the Roman legions, I understood why Zvi had suggested I read the book. The Romans, just like the Nazis, were evil, imperialistic aggressors. They had no qualms about “burning old men and women and children in their dwellings,” as one of the warriors from the House of the Wolfings said. I also saw a certain similarity between the Romans and the British imperialists, who may not have been burning people in their homes but who were, like the Romans, seeking to rule over other nations and willing to kill those who opposed them.
I decided to join the Wolves. I was excited at the thought of meeting with Zvi again and couldn’t wait to start working with him. The risks that were sure to be a part of such an association faded when I realized how much we could accomplish together.
When I’d first arrived in Israel, I had truly been a lone wolf. My family had been murdered, my beloved Leah had been killed, and aside from Nelka, I didn’t have a single friend in the country. Things were very different now. I had Shoshana. Alec was here. I had friends who were like family to me. And I had just joined a wolf pack that was fighting to create a national home for the Jewish people in their ancient homeland.
Zvi reminded me of Zusha, who had taken me under his wing after my escape from the ghetto. And as I thought of Zusha, I remembered the promise we had made to one another in that forest in Belarus years ago—that if one of us was killed and the other survived, the survivor would find the other’s family members and tell them about our resistance efforts.
Zusha had told me he had a son, Izak, whose whereabouts were unknown. It occurred to me now that I had failed to uphold my promise. I swore to myself that as soon as I recovered, I would look for Izak. If he was still alive, I wouldn’t rest until I told him of his father’s heroism fighting the Nazis.
18
“ONLY DEATH WILL DISCHARGE US FROM OUR RANKS”
(FROM “UNKNOWN SOLDIERS,” A POEM BY AVRAHAM STERN, 1932)
Six days after my injury, I felt hardly any discomfort in my leg when I was lying down, but I still couldn’t walk around Max’s apartment for very long before the injured muscles in my thigh started to seize up. Nevertheless, I tried to walk as much as possible and got back in bed only when I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. Dr. Kaminitz checked on me every other day and said the wound was healing well.
Shoshana visited me every day and kept me company for hours. She told me Avrum had come to the restaurant looking for me, and she’d satisfied him with the story that I was looking for my aunt and uncle. Avrum had told her the CID was in an uproar in the wake of the assassination—they had no leads, he’d said, but suspected that Jeffries and his men had been killed by the same people who had strangled Sergeant Perry. The British believed there might have been a traitor in Jeffries’s division, and they were considering dismantling it and reassigning everyone to other departments.
“Avrum also said there is a personal matter that he wants to discuss with you as soon as possible,” Shoshana added. I felt a bit alarmed at this news and hoped the “personal matter” didn’t have anything to do with Hannah and me.
Max had placed a radio in my room, and I spent most of my time listening to the news and other programs, often impatiently turning the dial from one station to the next. I was restless and ready to move on to helping the Wolves. He also brought me a copy of the Yedioth Ahronoth evening newspaper every day, and since I had so much time on my hands, I’d read it from cover to cover. I learned a lot about what was happening in the Jewish community and its relationship with the British, which had deteriorated markedly in the wake of the King David Hotel bombing.
A month had passed since Black Sabbath—or Operation Broadside, as the British called it—when the British had launched a second operation, code-named Operation Shark, which had been carried out mostly by red beret soldiers from the Sixth Airborne Division. They had imposed a general curfew on Tel Aviv, conducted widespread searches, and arrested 730 underground activists and Jewish community leaders, including Yitzhak Shamir, one of the three leaders of the Lehi. I also learned that the relationships between the Haganah, Irgun, and Lehi had fallen apart after the attack on the King David Hotel.
Coincidentally, Operation Shark had taken place on July 29, the same day I had assassinated Jeffries. We were lucky Shark had been in Tel Aviv and not Jerusalem, else our plans would have been jeopardized or even prevented entirely.
The lack of unity among the Jewish community was a source of much frustration to me, and I discussed the matter with Max when he came in to check on me. I lay resting in my borrowed bed as he paced back and forth, talking.
“It’s even worse than you hear on the radio or read in the paper,” Max said, clearly upset. “Ben-Gurion has declared that the British government and its policies are the enemy but not the British soldiers, policemen, or government officials. Even worse, the Jewish Agency has decided that the struggle against the British could threaten the establishment of a Jewish national home.” He twisted his hands together.
“As far as Ben-Gurion and the Haganah are concerned, the prime objective is the establishment of a Jewish state and a strong defensive military force that will be able to stand up to the Arabs. So now the Haganah focuses only on bringing in immigrants and increasing settlements. Ben-Gurion and his followers don’t understand that if the British remain in control here, we will never be able to establish a Jewish national home.”
“I see the logic in establishing a strong defense force, bringing in immigrants, and settling the land,” I said. “But the British are doing everything in their power to stop it. I heard on the radio that the British navy intercepted several immigrant ships off the coast and deported the Jews on board to Cyprus.” I frowned and swung my feet to the floor, feeling suddenly restless. “I’ve had enough of lying around doing nothing. These people have suffered enough, and we need to help them. Let’s have Zvi come over to discuss what we can do next.”
Zvi stopped by the next day.
“Max told me that you’re recovering,” Zvi said. “I’m glad to hear it.” The three of us were sitting in the living room of Max’s apartment. “He also said you’re looking for ways to fight the British and help Jews get into Israel. Let’s see what we can do.”
“Zvi,” Max interjected, “before we talk about David, I would like to bring up another issue. A short time after David was wounded, Shoshana approached me and said she’d like to be involved in future underground operations. She also insisted David has risked his life enough, and we should give him a break f
or a while. I told her I hoped David would have no objection and that I’d discuss it with you, Zvi.”
Zvi looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. “I have no objection to her being involved in future operations, and I hope that you, David, don’t have any objection either. In any case, Shoshana needs to go through intensive training first.” I didn’t feel comfortable talking with them about Shoshana, but I decided to be open about my thoughts. “Honestly, I don’t want Shoshana risking her life. She needs to stay behind the scenes.”
Zvi gazed at me, arms folded over his chest. “We have many women fighters, David. You know this.”
“Yes. It isn’t because she’s a woman.”
“It’s because she’s your woman.” Zvi smiled.
I refused to make this about me. The fact was that she could get killed.
“Look, if it’s a matter of needing more people to work the operations, put me in. I’d rather take the risk myself than have Shoshana risk her life.”
“But that’s not what she wants.”
I stared at the ground, trying to find the right words. Finally, I nodded. “You’re right. And she’s a free and independent woman. I know I don’t have the right to tell her what she can or can’t do. But please—let me talk to her first. I have to make sure she understands what she’s getting herself into.”
“All right,” Zvi said. “Talk to her. And speaking of operations, I think it would be a good idea for you to start helping bring refugees to Israel. Are you ready for it?”
“Of course,” I said.
“The Irgun and Lehi have a number of offensive operations against the British planned,” Zvi said, “but when it comes to immigration, we aren’t doing well at all. The British navy is intercepting almost every refugee ship that approaches Israel lately. The best solution we’ve found is to smuggle Jews in through Lebanon. The Haganah has brought in several groups this way in the past, but they’ve stopped those efforts, and I don’t know why. In any event, we’ve looked into it, and it does seem feasible. We’d have to get the people to the Lebanese border, help them to cross it, and then transport them to a Jewish settlement in the Galilee. Your thoughts, David?”
“I’ll be happy to play a part in an operation like that,” I said.
“You won’t simply play a part,” Zvi said. “You’re going to lead it. Of course, it will be a complex operation requiring meticulous planning and preparation. Shimon was born in Rosh Pina, not far from the Lebanese border, and he knows the area like you apparently know the Scriptures. I’ve instructed him to help you. Max will let me know when you are fully recovered, which should be soon, by the looks of it, and then we’ll get to work.” He started to stand up, but I motioned for him to remain where he was.
“Wait, please. There’s a personal matter that troubles me a great deal,” I said. “Jeffries, damn his soul, tried to force me to cooperate by threatening to deport Shoshana. I know that his division has been shut down, but I’d feel a lot more comfortable if you could use your connections in the Jewish Agency to secure an official permit for her.”
“I can’t promise anything, but I assure you that I’ll do my best,” Zvi said. He shook my hand and left the room with Max, who saw him to the door.
“You’re welcome to stay here with us for as long as you like,” Max said as he came back into the room, “although I’m sure you’d like to return to your apartment. But with Shoshana at work until late, we thought perhaps it would be better for you to stay a while longer. Nelka is here all the time and can continue to take care of you. When you do go home, don’t rush into this operation. The doctor said you’ll need to rest for another couple of weeks at least.”
“You’re right,” I said, touched by his concern. “I’d like to say that I’m back in shape, but that wouldn’t be true.”
“Shoshana told me that your landlords asked about you. When you get home, I suggest you tell them you learned your aunt and uncle are definitely in the country but that you didn’t find them yet and will keep looking. That should help explain your absence when you’re busy with the operation in the north.”
FIVE DAYS LATER, MAX DROVE me back to my apartment. I invited him in, but he politely declined. “I think you need some time alone with Shoshana,” he said with a wink.
A vase with red roses stood on the table by the front door, along with a note that read: My beloved hero has returned. Shoshana was waiting for me by the bed, dressed in nothing but a satin robe that hung half open. She hugged me and pulled me into bed. My leg still hurt, but I soon forgot the pain.
Max had given Shoshana the day off, and we spent all morning and afternoon in bed before I fell asleep. When I woke up, dinner was ready. Shoshana opened a bottle of wine, and we sat down at the table and raised our glasses in a toast to life, which seemed more wonderful than ever in that moment.
After we finished our drinks, we shared a few kisses before Shoshana began serving our plates from the steaming bowls of food on the table.
“I spoke to Max about helping with the underground in a more important capacity,” she began. “He said he would discuss it with Zvi.”
“Every role in the underground is important,” I muttered around the food in my mouth. She gave me a pointed look.
“You don’t want me to fight, do you?”
“It isn’t that I don’t want you to be part of it,” I said, staring down at my plate.
“Then what is it?”
I lifted my gaze to hers, my voice calm. “I don’t want you to die.”
She reached across the table to take my hand. “Oh, David,” she whispered, “I don’t want to die either.”
“Being a fighter—an actual fighter in the underground—is extremely dangerous,” I told her. “It takes special training, but more than that, it takes a special mindset. There is no room for hesitation or weakness.”
“I know.” She waited.
I sighed. “What you do now, behind the scenes, is just as vital in its own way. Couldn’t you continue as you’ve been doing?”
“I could,” she said, “but you see, my dear love, you’ve ruined me for such things.”
I jerked my head up. “Me? I haven’t done anything.”
“But you have,” she went on, her eyes shining, filled with an earnestness I’d never seen before. “You’ve risked your life for our people, both in the war with the Nazis and now in Jerusalem.” She squeezed my hand tightly. “You let me go when I needed to find myself again, and you took me back when I was ready. You’ve shown me how to be brave, and you’ve shown me compassion. With you, David, I’ve grown stronger, and I want to keep growing. More than anything, I want to fight at your side against the enemy.” She hesitated. “Unless you don’t think I can.”
“It isn’t that,” I said. “You’re a strong, capable woman, and you amaze me more and more every day. I just simply and honestly fear that if you join the physical fight against the British, I’ll lose you. And if that happens …” I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can go on.” I looked down at our hands intertwined, remembering Leah.
“And yet, dear David,” she said softly, leaning forward, “we have both gone on in spite of all we have lost, haven’t we?”
Her words jarred me, and I glanced back up at her. “Yes,” I admitted, “we have.”
Shoshana lifted my hand and kissed my rough, bruised knuckles. Then she spread my palm against hers and met my gaze. “You have taught me what it is to be brave, to sacrifice, and yes, to be brutal—but also to be merciful. And together or alone, we will continue to go on, no matter what may come. No matter if one of us dies. Because the future of our people, and our country, is bigger than us.” Her lips trembled slightly. “It has to be.”
I took a deep breath and released it, then brought her hand to my face and held it there for a moment. “You are a very wise woman,” I said. “Very well, but you must promise me one thing.”
“Anything,” she said.
I gave her a wicked smile. “I
get to train you.”
She returned my grin. “I can’t wait,” she said, obviously delighted. She began cutting the meat on her plate and then stopped. “Oh! I forgot—Avrum came looking for you again. He wanted to meet with you the moment you returned. Unfortunately for him, I wanted to meet with you the moment you returned also.”
“Lucky me,” I said with a wink.
“I told him I thought you’d be back today. He said if you did come back, we should stop by for breakfast tomorrow morning. Do you feel like going to see them?”
“Sure,” I said, now curious. Why did Avrum want to see me so urgently?
“All right. After we’re done eating, I’ll walk over and tell them we’ll have breakfast with them tomorrow. You stay here and get some rest.”
When she left later to deliver the message, I tried to imagine what Avrum wanted. All of my ideas left me feeling edgy and uneasy.
The moment we walked through their door the next morning, Hannah threw her arms around me and gave me a more-than-just-friendly hug. “We’re so glad to see the two of you!” she cried, clinging to me far longer than necessary for a greeting. “It’s been too long!”
I pulled away from her and put my arm around Shoshana. From the look on my girlfriend’s face, it was safe to say she wasn’t thrilled about the other woman’s enthusiastic welcome.
Avrum apparently wasn’t paying attention to his wife’s behavior or simply didn’t care. Without a word, he gripped my shoulder and led me to his study.
“They fired me,” he said at last, clearly agitated as he shut the door behind us. “I expected it. They’re all anti-Semites there, except for my boss. I got into a confrontation with one of the other officers a month ago. He said something about arresting all the dirty Jews, and I said he was the dirty one. If my boss hadn’t intervened, we would have come to blows!” He began to pace around the room. “And last week, during a briefing about an investigation into a major robbery at a jewelry store on Jaffa Street, I pointed out we had intelligence reports indicating that British soldiers had committed the crime. The senior commander just snorted and told me to focus on the Jews. Thieves and money-grabbers, he called us!”