He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.
“I want you to focus on what you have to do, and I don’t want you on the road worrying about making sure to call me at the right time every day or whether or not I’m okay at home. I will be okay. I am okay.” I let go of his zipper and stood up straight.
“You’re okay?”
I forced a smile. “I am. I’m bringing in help at work. I have some other irons in the fire. I have your dog—”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh yeah, I stopped by your sister’s place and told her I’d take care of Joanne.”
“Annie.” His eyes watered.
“I’ll bring her on lots of walks and make sure she takes her medicine. When you’re on tour, I’ll send you pictures, and you’re welcome to visit her any time you—” A sob escaped my lips.
Dax pulled me into a hug and held me, stroking the back of my head.
After a few moments, I pulled away. I didn’t trust myself to hold on any longer. This was for Dax, yes, but it wasn’t only for Dax. I was doing this for me, too.
“Goodbye, Dax.” I ducked my eyes and headed out the exit.
Chapter Forty-Seven
A Test of Us for the Rest of Us
Yessi eyed me accusingly. “You didn’t practice.”
“Yes, I did.” I pressed down on what I now knew as “middle C.”
“How much?”
I drew in a deep breath. “Fifteen minutes a day?”
“Bullshit,” Yessi said, waving her hands in front of her. “But I’m not going to harp on you too much today; I know you’re sad.”
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“You told a guy you loved him last night, and it didn’t work out.”
“I told a guy I loved him and told him it couldn’t work out. There’s a difference.” Though try telling my heart that.
“Still.” She closed my beginner’s piano book. “Seriously, how are you doing?”
I patted her knee and stood from the bench. “I’m not exactly fine. But I think I will be.” I stretched.
Joanne, who had been sleeping in the other room, started barking.
“What is it? A squirrel?” It was usually a squirrel.
But no, this wasn’t her squirrel bark, and it wasn’t her STRANGER DANGER APPROACHING bark. It was more like her “I see one of my favorite people on the horizon” yelp.
“Um…Annie?” Yessi pointed to the bay window in the living room.
Dax was coming up the steps. My pulsed quickened.
“He’s probably coming to see Joanne.” I shrugged, brushing it off like it was nothing. “I told him that was fine.”
“Sure.” Yessi’s eyes narrowed.
I went to the door and opened it. Joanne immediately, as best she could, flung herself at Dax.
“Hey, girl.” His voice wobbled. He crouched down next to her and hugged her neck.
“I’ll…get out of your hair,” Yessi said. “Good to see you, Dax.”
He glanced up. “You, too, Yessi.”
When Yessi left, Dax stood, hands in pockets, and faced me.
“You came to see Joanne?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“Dax…” I tilted my head.
He looked right at me, jaw tight. “I decided I’m not okay.”
“You’re not.”
“No. You said you’re okay with the two of us not being together, but I’m not.”
A weight of longing settled in my chest, and I motioned for him to follow me into the living room. I wasn’t sure what this visit was about, but I feared it would only make his leaving harder on us. He took one end of the couch, and I made sure to take the other. I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions if we got too close.
“You think we’re going to end up resenting each other if I go on tour and you stay here, but I disagree.” His brow furrowed. “We both love each other.”
“That’s not enough.” My eyes stung.
“I think it is.”
I turned to face him, pulling my legs up under me on the couch. “We talked about this.”
“No, you talked about it,” he said. “You came to me last night making a bold statement about love and sacrifice, and now I’m doing the same to you. This is the grand gesture, right? Now we forgive, forget, and make up.”
I grinned at him. “That’s what happens in a rom-com, Dax. This is real life.”
He frowned. “I want it to be a rom-com.”
I reached for his hand, my chest tight. “Me too.”
“So we’re in agreement then.”
“But everything I said last night is still true. You weren’t wrong about me being unhappy. I need to be happy, and you need to be successful. And I’m not sure both can happen with us together.”
He scooted toward me. “So what if we just see what happens and go from there? What if we stop thinking and worrying and jump right to the ‘happily ever after?’ Like, what would happen if we were Jennifer Garner and Ryan Reynolds at the end of a movie?” His fingers grazed my cheek. “All the problems have been solved. Everything is wonderful. You’ve just admitted you love me. I love you…”
“I suppose we’d kiss,” I said, grinning despite my aching heart, “but there’d also be clapping, because we’d be, like, in a ballroom on the last day of a big corporate retreat.”
“Would you settle for the sounds of Joanne over in the corner cleaning herself?” he asked.
I laughed. “I guess that would do.”
He scooted even closer, cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me slowly and tenderly, trailing the end of the kiss over to my ear, and my heart went wild. “We’ve done the kiss. Then what?”
I pulled away slightly, looking him right in the eye. “You know, most rom-coms don’t usually show the next part. Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant kiss…but then what? I think we all know what happens.” I waggled my eyebrows. “Bow chicka wow wow.”
He laughed. “They never let us see what kind of sex those folks are having. Is it just regular vanilla, or are they throwing in all kinds of toppings?”
I nodded knowingly. “You can bet Sandra and Hugh are going for the full rocky road—nuts, marshmallows, chocolate with a cherry on top—sex.”
He took my hand. “Do you want to show me what that looks like?”
“Yes,” I said, leaning toward him, “but no. Because this isn’t a rom-com, and you’re leaving—”
“Tomorrow.”
That knocked the wind out of me. I knew he was leaving soon, but I hadn’t considered the timeline. Not that I assumed we’d still be competing together, but he was leaving before the end of the trivia tournament. Tomorrow he’d be gone and Dorothy would be without her Tin Man. “Leaving tomorrow for a big, long tour.”
He scooted closer and kissed my neck. I melted into him. “Okay, so I’m leaving on tour. And you’re focusing on you. So just say you’ll come visit me,” he said. “We’ll start there, and no promises other than that. You can send me pics of Joanne, and I’ll update you on the tour. Once in a while. No timelines. No other expectations. Just you coming to one stop on the tour.”
“I don’t know, Dax.” I closed my eyes as waves of pleasure pulsed through me. “What if I show up and you regret ever inviting me?”
“I won’t.” He nibbled my earlobe. “But okay, let’s say something happens and I’m busy or things don’t go as swimmingly between us as we’d like. You’d still get a few days away in an exciting city like Minsk.”
I chuckled. “Mmm…hot.”
“Or…maybe not Minsk.” His lips made their way down my collarbone. “I think we’ll be in Prague at Christmas.”
“Maybe.” He worked his way back up to my ear, and I moaned. “I’m bringing in a partner to the practice—”
He held me at arm’s length. “What? Really?”
“Really.” I widened my eyes to show him just how serious I was about this. “I’m relaxing my responsibilities at work so I can focus on other things—like taking care of Joanne and learning the piano.”
His hand cupped my cheek.
“And I’m sure Yessi and Polly would watch Joanne, so maybe I really could take a trip.” A trip was what Gayle would do. It’d be something to look forward to, and, like Dax said, it could mean nothing more than the two of us being in the same place at the same time for a few days. No pressure.
I shifted our positions so I now straddled him on the couch. My mind whirled with a million thoughts of what could go wrong—everything from the plane crashing to him meeting someone new in the meantime and me showing up in Prague to find him engaged to his pregnant fiancée. I pushed all of that out of my head and said, “Okay, Prague. Let’s do it. I will plan on being there for Christmas.”
He pulled me in close, and I leaned down so he could whisper in my ear. “We’ll always have Prague.” He paused. “Now, rocky road sex? Once? For old time’s sake?”
I stood, offering him my hand. He took it, and I pulled him off the couch.
“I prefer cookies and cream,” I told him as I led him toward the stairs.
“I have no idea where this metaphor’s going,” he said, “but I love it, and I can’t wait to find out more.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Oops…I Quizzed It Again
One year later…
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the final round of the Second Annual Windy City Trivia Championship tournament!” Ronald held the microphone out toward the crowd, catching the roar of excitement and blasting it through the speakers. “This year, we have four great teams competing for the grand prize, but first let me introduce our illustrious guest emcee—Darius Carver, former Man on Main Street and current evening news anchor!”
Yes, Mr. Man on Main Street got Gayle Gale’s old job. Though he still had dreams of being the entertainment guru of Chicago, for the moment, he liked the stability and predictability of being an anchor.
Darius, waving like a monarch and flashing his megawatt grin, stepped onto the stage. I couldn’t help smiling. He was in his element. “Good evening!” Darius said. “For the past year or so, I’ve been confined to the newsroom, but it’s delightful to be back on the street again with all you wonderful people.” He cupped a hand around his ear. “Now, do you want to meet the teams?”
The crowd erupted in applause. Yessi, at my table, stomped her feet on the floor and whistled with her fingers.
Kelly clamped a hand over her ear. “Yessi. That’s enough.”
Mark wrapped a protective arm around his wife’s shoulders.
Yessi rolled her eyes at Polly, who laughed.
I leaned back in my seat, happy and content and ready to kick some trivia butt.
“We have…” Darius read a name off a cue card. “Last year’s second-place team, the Very Stable Geniuses!”
Brad and his buddies paraded around their table, clutching their hands above their heads in premature victory.
“Boo!” I shouted, playfully flashing a thumbs-down signal. My teammates joined me.
Darius shot me a grin, and I waved. “And, of course, we have last year’s reigning champions, the first winners of the Windy City Trivia Championship, previously known as Dorothy and the Tin Man, but you know them better this year as Marky Mark and the Trivia Bunch!”
My teammates and I shot up and raised our hands in victory, imitating Brad and the Very Stable Geniuses. I offered my palm for high fives from Rob and Lily, which they returned. With a potential romance no longer on the table, Rob and I really did become good friends after the whole engagement fiasco. He even got me to start watching the Cubs…sometimes. Lily and I bonded initially over Joanne but soon discovered we had a lot in common, like love of TV and movies and, well, her brother.
Once, not long after Dax left on tour, Lily mentioned she and Travis had a leaky pipe in their bathroom, and I put her in touch with Rob. Now the two of them were engaged to be married. I was more than willing to take full credit for that romance.
“Before we get started…” Darius’s eyes twinkled. “I have a little surprise for the founding member of Marky Mark and the Trivia Bunch, Dr. Annie Kyle.” He leaned in closer to the mic. “What you may not realize is, it’s Annie’s birthday today.”
“How old is she?” Brad shouted teasingly.
I flipped him the bird. “I’m forty-one!” I fist-bumped Yessi and Kelly.
Darius waited for the crowd to die down a little. “For Annie’s birthday surprise, we have a special person here to serenade her—”
My heart skipped a beat. “What the hell?”
“Fresh off the plane from a grueling tour around the world—”
My palms started sweating. I locked eyes with Kelly, who had gritted her teeth in excitement.
“I’d like to present to you…” Darius held out an arm toward the front door of O’Leary’s Barn. “My personal favorite musician, my wife and the mother of my future child, Ms. Monica Feathers.”
The door pushed open, and in swanned Monica Feathers, a basketball-shaped lump under a tight pink dress. On five-inch heels, she hobbled up onstage, grabbed the mic, and performed a rendition of “Happy Birthday” that would’ve made Marilyn Monroe blush.
“Oh my god!” As she left the stage, I widened my eyes at my friends, trying to tamp down any lingering disappointment. “Monica Feathers just sang to me.”
“She did!” Kelly squeezed my hand, and the underlying sympathy did not go unnoticed.
“If Monica’s back,” Yessi said, looking pointedly at Lily. “Does that mean…?”
“Oh!” Lily looked surprised for a moment, then glanced over at me. “Are you wondering about Dax?”
I shrugged, shaking my head and taking a peek at the inactive front door to the bar. “No,” I said. “The last time we talked, it sounded like he wasn’t sure where he would end up after the tour. I wasn’t expecting him.”
True to our word, Dax and I hadn’t put any pressure on the other person to stay in touch. There were no set conversations and no expectations. He seemed to be doing great on the road, and I was enjoying my new, less pressurized life with my friends, my mom, and Joanne. Dax and I would text once in a while when something funny occurred to us, and we’d share pictures—him of life on the road, and me of Joanne, a short video of my terrible piano playing, or shots of my new, not-quite-dead-yet houseplants.
I had lived up to my promise to meet him in Prague at Christmas, which was wonderful. Dax and I hadn’t missed a beat. Even his bandmates, whom I worried would see me as old and out of touch, were lovely to me. When I got back from the trip, I basically spent the next week and a half in bed crying and listening to sad love songs on repeat.
The trip had solidified it for me: I wanted to be with Dax; yet, here we were.
I knew the score, and I was fine with it. I had a very full life now and wasn’t sitting home thinking about him—much. I even tried dating other people, and I suspected he did, too, though I didn’t ask. For my part, I never met anyone who warranted even a second date.
Though we were careful not to get too serious and emotional in our texts, I could tell Dax felt the same way. After our meetup in Europe, his messages came in faster and more regularly. He’d keep me posted on the little things that happened almost every day, and I’d do the same.
But we never discussed the future, and I held no expectations that he’d be coming home to me anytime soon. I was sad, but I would deal with it. Annie 2.0 was alone, and she was doing great.
I’d come to realize that I couldn’t formally tether someone to me with a marriage contract, and even if I could, it wouldn’t give me the sense of peace, joy, and satisfaction that came f
rom spending time—however much we could scrape together—with the people who truly mattered to me.
Lily said, “I think my mom talked to Dax last week, and he told her he’d gotten an offer to collaborate with”—she clamped her mouth shut—“I shouldn’t say.”
“Who?” Polly leaned forward.
Lily shook her head furiously and sought Rob’s eyes for help.
“We’re not allowed to talk about it yet.” Rob patted his fiancée’s hand. “But you’ll know soon enough.”
“I’ll give you a clue.” Lily’s eyes darted from side to side. “Cardigan.” She clamped her mouth shut.
Holy frick. I had full faith that Dax would succeed, but working with Taylor Swift would be beyond my—and probably his—wildest dreams. As much as part of me had been holding out hope all this time that maybe, just maybe, after a year of recording and touring, he’d be up for taking at least an extended break back home in Chicago with me, I could not deny that this was a huge, amazing, life-changing development for him.
Not that I wasn’t bummed. Of course it’d be nice to have him around, but only if his career allowed.
I reached for my phone, not to check for work messages (Kim was on call Tuesday nights for trivia purposes) but to look in on the security cameras I’d placed inside the house. Joanne was lying peacefully on her dog bed in the family room. I’d put up baby gates to block off the stairs and had closed all the doors to the rest of the house. She was still hanging in there, but steps had gotten tough for her. I had to help her up and down whenever she needed to go outside. She was a trouper, though, and always a sweetheart.
I’d also started taking in foster dogs, which was something Polly had suggested. She was impressed by how diligent I was about caring for Joanne and asked if I’d be willing to look after some needier rescues who came through her office. Right now, I was fostering Boo, who we were nursing back to health after being found abandoned and severely underweight. She and Joanne got along like gangbusters.
In fact, if we ended up winning tonight, the team agreed to give the money to Polly’s favorite local canine rescue foundation.
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