He shook his head. "No, I'm just joking with her."
"You know, sometimes joking about things like that can be misconstrued as sexual harassment. If you really care about this, you shouldn't be joking with her about it.”
"The fact that you’re arguing with me about this makes me think you do want to hit on her.” His eyes narrowed as they studied me, and I hoped he couldn’t see my past with Jess in my expression. “You and Hunter are cut from the same cloth in that you don't want to be involved with anyone. You don't want to get married or have kids, except he went around like a hound dog with no strings attached affairs, and you've been the opposite, living like a fucking monk.”
There was some truth to that, in that Hunter had been man-whore while I had been much more discriminating in my affairs. But I didn't mean I hadn’t been with any women in the last four years. It just meant that they were far and few between, and were with women I was sure there wouldn’t be any emotional entanglements with. In fact, that was how things had started with Jess, until my heart decided otherwise.
"I didn't realize that you were the keeper of the sex lives of the family,” I said to him. I liked the horror in Noah’s expression to my comment.
"I'm not the keeper —"
"Here’s something you can put in your notebook or whatever you use to keep track of these things; I have no intention of marrying and having kids with Jess." The words felt disingenuous to me. Not because I wanted to marry her and have kids, but I did want to get to know her again. I did want to see where things might go.
"Just keep your mitts off her until dad is recovered." Noah walked out of the kitchen. I shook my head wondering what the hell had gotten into him. I followed him out to see where Jess was.
She emerged from the hallway, pointing back towards dad's room and letting Noah know where dad was. Then she went to the front closet, taking out a large bag, and headed to the front door.
She was leaving.
I rushed over to her opening the door to let her out, and I walked with her to her car.
"Everything alright with you and your brother?" she asked, her voice sounding a little tight.
"I think so. Although Noah doesn't seem to be Noah. Have you noticed the change in him?" I asked as we reached her old car.
"No, he seems the same to me. He kinda reminds me of a puppy dog."
I let out a loud laugh. Partly because it's an accurate description of them, and partly because no woman who was attracted to a man would call him a puppy dog. That meant I didn’t need to worry about her and Noah.
"I guess he's just worried about dad. We all are. I'm glad he's in such capable hands."
I wasn't thinking when I reached out and took her hand, holding her palm in mine. It was too late to pretend that I hadn't made that move, so I simply balanced her hand in mine without gripping it.
I was pleased that she didn’t pull her hand away. A hint of blush came to her face, but her expression was also sad, and I wished I knew why. Just as before, I felt a profound desire to protect her, even though she'd always struck me as a woman who would balk at that idea.
"Your father has a strong will and a lot of support, so there's no doubt he will do what he has to do to get well. I'm just here to guide that long,” she said, looking at her hand resting on mine like she wasn’t sure why she was allowing it.
"You're being modest." I used my thumb to gently caress the back of her hand, watching her intently to see if she'd pull away. Her breath hitched slightly, and it made me want to believe that the magic we had that one week in Mexico, might still be here.
Because I was a man of adventure, and willing to take calculated risks, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. I didn't want to push my luck by devouring her, so I slid my lips over hers, lightly, gently, just long enough to know that she tasted the same, and that her taste lit me up.
I pulled back liking the slightly stunned look in her eyes. I helped her get in the car, shutting the door for her, and hoping that the old jalopy was road safe. I watched her drive away, noting her glance in her rearview mirror to which I waved and smiled, already planning the next time I would see her.
4
Jess
As soon as I was out of sight from Alex's house, and it was safe, I pulled over onto the side of the road. With my hands gripping the steering wheel, I worked to settle my nerves. What the heck just happened?
My emotions were a tangle of nerves. Had Carter just kissed me? Yes, he must have, because I could still feel the tingle on my lips, the taste of him lingered. The moment his mouth was against mine, all the memories and emotions and sensations from our cruise to Mexico, came flooding back. I wanted to melt into him, and fulfill the promise that his lips were making.
But now, with some distance, I could see it’s just a memory. The reality of our situation now was vastly different. It wasn't just that four years had gone by, or even that we had a child that he didn't know about. Overhearing Carter talk to Noah, about his intentions of never having family, had turned me cold inside.
I had wanted to be someone special to him on that cruise, but as it turned out, I’d just been another woman he encountered on one of his adventures. He was known for traveling a lot, and I figured there were countless women like me that had been swept up by the magic of him.
So, if he wasn’t a man to settle down, why did he kiss me? The only thing that made sense was that like the cruise, my time in his life would be temporary, and he figured he could sweep me off my feet for a few weeks, just like he had four years ago.
I still felt the need to tell him about Tanner, and at the same time, based on what he told Noah, I wondered if maybe it wouldn't be better to not say anything. My conscience told me that it was wrong not to let him know. He had rights and responsibilities. It was that last thought that made me shake my head, because I could just see him accusing me of using Tanner to get money. But even if he didn't, based on his comments to Noah, I felt confident that Carter would do the right thing, and provide support for me and Tanner, but the fact that he wouldn't want to be part of a family, he would do so reluctantly. It seemed like that was the answer, although in my gut it still felt wrong.
In the end, as I started the car to head home, I decided I had time. Perhaps my running into Carter was a one-time thing. Maybe adventure would call to him or the business would require him to travel again.
It took me nearly forty-five minutes to get from Alex's magnificent home on the ocean, to my tiny little bungalow, but that was about the time I needed to get my nerves in order again.
When I walked into the door, I heard a squeal of excitement, followed by running footsteps and my sweet boy emerged into the living room launching himself into my arms.
"Mommy you’re home."
I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face against his sweet neck savoring this gift Carter had given me.
"Did you have fun today with Reggie?" I asked him, as I carried him to the kitchen where I could hear Reggie cooking.
Meeting Regina, who insisted on being called Reggie, had been a godsend. I had taken it as a sign that moving to San Diego was the right thing to do. Reggie worked at home running her own freelance business, but had been struggling to pay her mortgage and needed a little extra income. We worked out a situation in which I was able to rent two rooms which helped her cover her mortgage, as well as paying her to watch Tanner when I had to be out visiting with clients, that gave her some extra money.
Because the company I worked for, allowed me to do much of my paperwork from home, the time away wasn't as much as if I worked a traditional forty-hour a week job, which then made sure that Regina had enough time to work on her freelance business.
"You have to come see what I made mommy," Tanner said, his little hands pressing on my cheeks and turning my head, so I had no choice but to give him my full attention.
"I will baby. Just let me check in with Reggie for a second." I put him down and he grabbed my hand jumping up and down,
yanking my arm while he urged me to go with him.
"How was he today?" I asked her as she scooped up the carrots she chopped and put them in the salad bowl.
"Busy as ever," she said with a laugh as she looked down at Tanner getting more and more impatient. "You should probably go see what he built today."
"Yes mommy, come see."
"I'll be right back to help finish with dinner," I said as I let Tanner lead me towards his room.
"By the time you're done with the tour, it will all be on the table," Reggie called after me.
Tanner pulled me to his room, but it was impossible to go inside as there were building blocks and stuffed animals all over the place. "What is this?"
"It's my zoo, mommy. See here is where the monkeys are," he said pointing to his stuffed monkey surrounded by little plastic brick walls. "And over are the bears," he said as he carefully moved over his buildings to show me where his stuffed bear was sitting.
"This is wonderful Tanner."
He stood in the middle of his creation clasping his hands together and looking at me with a joyous grin on his face. It was another thing that made me think of Carter. The way he could smile and have it look so full of bliss and mischievous at the same time.
"Dinner," Reggie called from the hall.
Tanner and I returned to the kitchen and sat at a little dining table.
"It's quite some zoo he built, isn’t it?" Reggie asked as she handed me the platter with baked chicken and roasted potatoes.
"It's something else,” I said putting a drumstick and a couple potatoes on Tanner's plate, along with some lettuce and carrot from the salad.
"Can I leave my zoo up so I can play with it again tomorrow?" Tanner asked. The general rule had been that we picked up his toys every night so he could start fresh in the morning. But I could see that the zoo had probably taken up most of the day, and while I liked to be neat and clean, especially since technically we were living in Reggie's house, I also wanted to encourage his creativity and imagination.
"Okay, this time you can leave it up.”
"Yay!" Tanner's hands shot up in victory.
I really enjoyed the situation that Tanner and I were in with Reggie, but I also knew that sometimes it was a challenge for her. I was sure when she put the ad online for a roommate, she'd been hoping for a single full-time worker and not a single mom with a child who needed childcare. And in fact, if I went ahead and told Carter about Tanner, and assuming he believed me, we could probably get our own little place so Reggie could have more time, quiet, and space.
"Thank you again so much Reggie for all you do for us. I really do appreciate it."
"It's nothing, girl, you know that. Besides, it gives me great practice for when I have my own little babies, doesn't it, Tanner?"
Tanner looked up at her and grinned. "Yep."
"Speaking of having a family, I have a guy friend who I'd really like to introduce you to," Reggie said.
I was shaking my head before she even finished. "I'm not interested."
"It's been what, four years? You can't still be in the I'm-not-ready-to-date phase."
"Sure I can.” I argued as I poked through my salad in an attempt to not look her in the eyes. The reality was that the reason I hadn't dated was because of Carter. I hadn't realized it until now, but the idea of dating someone else just didn't feel right. Maybe if I allowed myself to go out to meet someone, that would change. Maybe the reason that Carter lingered in my heart, was that I hadn't dated anyone else. At first it was because I was pregnant, and a new mom. Then it was because I was working so hard to move Tanner and I to the West Coast.
"I'm done. Can I go play in my zoo?" Tanner asked. I looked down at his plate. There was still some meat on the bone, but all his potatoes were gone, and he ate one piece of lettuce and his carrots. I figured that was enough for now. I wiped his face and helped him down from the chair and he zoomed down the hall to his room.
"When was the last time you felt the kind of excitement that boy feels every day when he runs off to play?" Reggie asked.
"I know exactly when," I said more to myself, but then realized I actually said it out loud.
“When?” Reggie asks.
I hedged slightly, not wanting to tell her that I'd run into Carter earlier today. At the same time, I’d already told her a little bit about Tanner's father. At the time, I hadn’t known that my Carter from the magical cruise was Carter Strong so I felt safe that she didn’t either. "It was that week on the cruise in Mexico."
Reggie smiled at me, waggling her brows. "I would do anything to have a knight in shining armor on a cruise ship to Mexico. It's just a shame that you didn't know enough about him to let him know about that sweetie pie in the other room."
Up until a couple hours ago, that was true but now I did know. I considered talking to Reggie about this new situation, but then I was sure she would encourage me to do the right thing, because, of course, telling Carter about Tanner was the right thing.
But I couldn't get past Carter's comments about not ever wanting a family, and I didn't want Tanner to have a father who was indifferent to him. So, for now I was just going to keep quiet and hope for a good time to tell Carter about Tanner… Assuming a good time ever came up.
5
Carter
The taste of Jess lingered on my lips as I laid in bed unable to sleep. Now I knew that she looked the same and tasted the same, even if she didn't exactly act the same as she had four years ago. I couldn't decide if she changed, or if she was just uncomfortable because she worked for my father that made her seem a little skittish around me. Four years ago, she'd been open to me and to the adventure we had that week.
Like I’d done so many times before, I closed my eyes and conjured up that week that I'd had with her. It was like a movie I could play through my head anytime that I wanted to remember what it felt like to be completely free, and enjoying it with an equally adventurous woman.
I started from the beginning on the first day of the trip making my way out to the pool. I was twenty-two years old, single, and rich. Perhaps it was arrogant of me, but I also knew I was fit and good looking, and would likely have my choice of women on the ship, single or otherwise. I remembered not feeling disappointed as I looked out along the sea of skimpy bathing suits on voluptuous female bodies spread all around the pool. They all held an appeal, but only one had made my eyes skid to a halt and take in the full length of her body. Thick auburn hair perfect for running my fingers through. Delicious curves, and hips that were built for sex. She was toned and athletic looking, which suggested to me that she would have stamina and flexibility.
With my eyes squarely on her, I'd made my way over and luckily there had been a lounge next to hers. Physical attraction had been the immediate lure, but once we started to talk, I discovered a woman who was eager for adventure. She smiled and spoke freely; unlike many women I'd met who often use guile or would simply say what they thought I wanted to hear.
I tried to play it cool that night, as I maneuvered myself to accidentally run into her at dinner. I was pretty sure I was obvious when she finally showed up for breakfast the next day and I zeroed in on her. Luckily, she seemed as into me as I was to her, and we'd agreed to spend the week together exploring all the stops the cruise made in Mexico, as well as everything the ship had to offer during the journey.
The only part that had been difficult was the deal we made to keep our real lives out of this week. We were just Jess and Carter. There were no last names, no past history, and of course because of that there was nothing I could use to hunt her down after the cruise was over. We were the metaphorical two ships passing in the night, and while we'd enjoyed the days together and a few moments of kissing and groping, I hadn't pushed to spend the night with her because I was concerned that that it might overstep the boundaries we had set. But by the last night, I knew there was no way that I could leave her without one night touching her.
I'd worked to draw out the last
night as long as I could. We lingered over dinner and even danced, but then I invited her to my cabin. Of course, my wish was to get her in bed, but I lured her there by telling her about the private balcony where we could enjoy our last evening together alone. I watched her on the balcony as I poured us champagne. She seemed both wistful and melancholy, making me wonder if she was feeling the heaviness of our impending separation like I was.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked as I joined her.
She took the flute of golden bubbly from me. "I'm thinking about how when I wake up the day after tomorrow, in my own bed, I’ll wonder if all this was a dream."
She did feel the same. "Me too." I lifted my glass and clicked it against hers. "To fantastic dreams."
We sipped and then I looked out over the water, my hand sliding low along her back. Longing filled my chest, when she leaned her head against my shoulder.
"I know we have an agreement to keep our emotional distance, but it doesn't feel right to me, to end this cruise without touching you," I said.
She turned and looped her free hand around my neck. "On that point, Carter, we are in complete agreement."
I smiled happy and horny at the same time. I took her glass and set it down with mine on the small table on the balcony. I pulled her to me, my hands sliding down, each one grabbing her ass. "I've been wanting to get you out of your shorts, or your bikini, or your dress practically since the moment I saw you,” I said.
She pressed her hips forward grinding against me, and my dick was at full tilt. "I've been dying to get you naked too."
"This is going to be fun,” I said, scooping her up into my arms and carrying her into my cabin.
I set her down, and undid the zipper of her dress before her feet hit the ground. Like a desperate man, I tugged the straps of her dress down, so fucking pleased to find her braless.
Wrong to Love You: Strong Brothers Book 3 Page 3