CHAPTER XIII
LOVE WILL FIND A WAY
We crossed to the window together, and stood looking through it uponthe snow clad streets of the city. The storm of the preceding day andnight had entirely cleared away, leaving only the inevitable traces ofits violence.
As we stood there, Zara pulled the lace curtains between us and thewindow, so that we were screened from view, while we were enabled,ourselves, to see with perfect distinctness, up and down thethoroughfare against which her home was fronted.
It might have been a Sunday morning, so peaceful and quiet was thescene, and so purely white was everything, in its covering of snow,while the crisp atmosphere of that cold but brilliant Winter day,sparkled and glinted in the sunshine as if thousands of microscopicdiamonds were glistening there.
A solitary policeman passed into our view and out of it again, a_britzska_ rushed past an adjacent corner with the horse at gallopingspeed; a child played with its father for a moment, within our rangeof vision, and then disappeared; a fur clad pedestrian ran up the stepsof a nearby residence, and passed inside of it; all these trivialincidents of observation, came and went, while we stood there, leavingbehind them no impression save one of peace, quiet and security. Yetthey impressed themselves upon my memory indelibly, and I can seebefore me even now, the vision of that afternoon in St. Petersburg,with the clinging right hand of my beloved one resting upon myshoulder, with my left arm about her warm and pulsing body, with love,in all its transcendent qualities, dominating all things real andunreal, and filling my heart, and soul, and my intelligence, with aperfection of blissful content which words cannot describe, and whichmay never be understood save by him who has experienced it.
What terror had Zara seen through that window, that had startled herso, just before we discovered and confessed our mutual love? Whateverit may have been, no evidence of it remained, to suggest disquiet in myown present sense of security. There was nothing there to menace me,and even though Zara's brother Ivan, and others of his kind, fanaticsall, in their nihilistic tendencies, wild beasts in their blood lusts,fiends in their methods, as they were--whatever they might threaten,seemed small indeed to me, in that moment of ecstasy. For it was amoment of ecstasy; the word "moment" being measured by the rule ofspace, limitless and unconfined.
Zara did not know who and what I was, save only that I was a man, andher lover. Beyond that, her imagination had not travelled, and herdesires had not sought.
She did not understand that I was at the head of a great fraternity,organized and established by myself, and that I had under my control,if not obedient to my direct command, several hundred individualswithin the limit of that city, who would serve me instantly, and whowould fight to the death for me if there were need.
It was to be regretted that I had gone to the home of the Princess Zarato keep my appointment that day, with so little thought of the dangersI might have to encounter before I should leave it again. It would havebeen so easy to arrange for adequate protection, and to have had atthat very moment, when I was gazing through the lace curtained window,assistance ready at hand in the shape of men prepared to answer to anysignal I might have agreed upon. A word dropped to O'Malley at hiscafe, a sign made to big Tom Coyle, a note in cipher to Canfield, anindication to anyone of my trusted lieutenants, would have placed aboutme at that very moment, an environment of protection adequate to copewith any difficulty that might arise.
But I had not foreseen the present circumstance sufficiently to beprepared for it in that manner.
Zara and I were practically alone in that great house, save for theservants it contained; and they were not to be counted upon in anycase, no matter what form individual effort against us might take.
I was conscious, too, while we stood there so silently together, of thenew responsibility I had taken upon myself during the love scene thathad just passed; and I was suddenly aware of the danger whichthreatened my beloved, through me.
I did not realize it until that instant. I had thought, selfishlyenough, only of what she had said about my own peril. I had rememberedonly that I was the object of a planned assassination, because some onewhom I had not discovered at the time, had overheard the interview inthe garden to which I had been a witness the preceding night, and hadalso listened to the one that followed it, between Zara and me.
The thrill of alarm that convulsed me, when the full realization ofthis aspect of the affair came home to me, was startling andparalyzing. Whatever the friends of nihilism might do to me now, wouldhave its crushing effect upon her, also. Nothing could touch me, thatwould not injure her. We had become one, indeed, in the sense of beingso absorbed in each other, so blended in soul and in thought, thatwhatever affected one, must act with redoubled power upon the other.
Judged from the standpoint of the nihilists themselves, there was nodoubt that they were logical enough in their determination to kill_me_. From their view of the case, I was merely a spy, or at leasta prospective one, who had overheard a confidence delivered by thePrincess Zara de Echeveria, which placed her so absolutely in my powerthat I held her life, as the saying goes, in the hollow of my hand; andthey could not know, would never guess, that now we had learned to loveeach other, and that she was dearer and sweeter to me than all else inthe world.
They would regard me--they must now regard me, as being like other menof their knowledge, who would see in Zara only a beautiful andattractive woman, young and gorgeous, who was suddenly fallen into mypower, almost as absolutely as if she were made my slave. What personalsacrifices could I not demand of her, if I were indeed like those othermen I have mentioned? What indignities could I not visit upon her,claiming my right to do so as the possessor of her secret, andthreatening, not alone her own undoing, but the death of her cause, ifshe should dare to deny me?
Somewhere out there in the snow, Zara's brother Ivan was waiting andwatching, and although I did not now feel that his affection for herincluded many of the self sacrificing qualities that a brother shouldhave for a sister, he was nevertheless her blood kin, and without doubthe had loaded his pistol with a bullet for the man whom he believedwould have it in his power to crush that beautiful sister to the earth,even to the point of literal seduction. For judged from the nihilists'standpoint again, they understood Zara to be one who would not hesitateat any sacrifice, in defense of the cause she served.
"It does not look as if danger, and even death, lurked somewhere yonderin the bright sunshine, Dubravnik," she said to me in a low tone, afterwe had stood for a long time in utter silence, together.
"No," I replied.
"It is a peaceful scene," she went on in a dreamy sort of manner,staring into the street, and with a half smile upon her lips. "It looksas if we might put on our furs and wraps, and go abroad together,without the least thought of danger, does it not?"
"Yes, Zara."
"And yet----" she raised one hand and pointed--"probably just aroundthat corner, yonder, or behind one of the others, there are waitingmen, who are intent upon your destruction, no matter what theconsequences to themselves may be. It is awful to contemplate." Sheshuddered. "I cannot bring myself to believe that it is really true;and yet I know it to be so."
She turned to me with a swift gesture, and continued.
"Oh, Dubravnik, what shall we do? What shall be done to escape thedeath that threatens you and me? Tell me! Tell me what can be done? Thecondition is not the same, now, as it was. Everything is differentsince you kissed me. This world in which we live, is a new world, butwe must nevertheless face the conditions of that old one we havedeserted. What shall we do? What shall be done?"
I was silent, not because I hesitated to answer her, not because Ireally at that moment had no answer to give her, but because I was,myself, intently thinking upon the very problem she had suggested.
"What shall be done?"
Presently, with a slow and methodical motion, she withdrew from meagain, and returned to the divan, which had been the scene of ourawakening love, calling upon m
e to follow her as she went; and I stoodbefore her, looking down into her eyes up-turned to mine, waiting forher to speak. I knew that she had hit upon some solution of thedifficulty, and was about to present it to me. I don't think that itoccurred to me to consider seriously whatever she might suggest, eventhen, for I had not for a moment lost confidence in my entire abilityto free both of us from the dangerous environment; but I delighted tohear the sound of her voice. I loved to drink in her words, as sheuttered them. I was enthralled in watching the play of expression uponher features while she talked; if she had rendered me a dissertationupon any theme which absorbed her, my interest would have been thesame; I was overwhelmed in love.
"There is only one way; only one," she said, unconsciously repeatingwords she had used once before.
"Yes?" I replied, mindful only of the fact that she had spoken;unmindful of the import of what she said.
"Only one way," Zara repeated. "You must join the nihilists. You musttake the oath."
I shook my head with emphasis, brought back suddenly to the intent ofher words.
"It is impossible, Zara," I said.
"You must do it, Dubravnik."
"No."
"I say that you must do it. You must take the oath. You must become anihilist. It is the only way. I will send a servant from the house,with a message which will bring two or three of the leaders here, andyou shall take the oath."
She started to her feet again, reaching toward the bellcord, and I hadto spring after her, and seize her arm, in order to restrain the actshe was about to commit.
"No, Zara," I said, and forced her gently back to the couch, compellingher to be seated, and this time dropping down beside her, and puttingmy arm around her. "No, Zara, not that. I cannot take the oath. It isutterly impossible. It is much more impossible now, than it wasbefore."
"Why?" she asked, in surprise.
"Because I love you, dear."
"Ah," she said smiling, "as if that were not a greater reason for yourtaking it, instead of denying it."
"No, Zara," I said again. "I cannot take the oath of nihilism. I havealready taken an oath which thoroughly obviates such a possibility."
"Another oath, Dubravnik?"
"Yes."
"To whom?"
"To the czar."
"Oh," she exclaimed, and she shuddered. "I had forgotten that you werein the service of his majesty." I thought that she drew away from me atthat, but the motion was so slight as to be almost imperceptible. "Ihad forgotten all that about you, Dubravnik." Again there was ashudder, now more visible than before. "You are under oath to the czar;to the man, who, because he permits so many wrongs to happen I havelearned to hate." She straightened her body. "And Dubravnik I can hatequite as forcibly as I can love."
"I do not doubt it," I said.
"You must take the oath. You must take it. You shall repudiate thatother one to the czar."
"It cannot be, Zara."
"It must be! It shall be!"
"No," I said; and there was such calm finality, such forcible emphasisin the monosyllable I used, that she drew still farther away from me,shuddering again as she did so, and I saw her face grow colder in itsexpression, although I did not believe that it was caused by any changein her attitude toward me.
"Can nothing move you, Dubravnik? Can nothing change you from thispurpose of yours? Must you, because you have given your word to atyrant, remain loyal to him? Must you, in spite of the great love youhave for me, remain true to him who is my enemy?"
"I must; for your sake as well as for mine."
"For my sake!" she laughed, and it was not a pleasant laugh to hear,especially at that moment, and following as it did upon all thetenderness that had passed between us. "For my sake! Why Dubravnik, itis for my sake that I ask you to take the oath."
"Zara," I said, choosing my words deliberately, "last night in theglass covered garden, where the colored lights were glowing, I heardyou utter words which I can never forget, and which I have thought uponmany times since I heard them. You repudiated, with all the intensityof your soul, the methods which these nihilists employ to attain theirends. You called them murderers, assassins, scoundrels, cutthroats,defamers of character, and many other things which I need not name.What you did not accuse them of, in words, you charged them with, byimplication; and now you ask me to become one with them; and not onlythat, to deny my manhood and my honor by repudiating my oath toanother."
"I asked you to protect yourself and me," she said, simply, but with acoldness and a suggestion of hardness in her tone, that had beenentirely absent from it until that instant.
"I will do that, Zara. I will save you, and I will save myself. I willsave you from yourself. There will be a way. I have not yet determinedupon what it will be, but I will find a means."
Suddenly she slipped to the floor, upon her knees before me, and withclasped hands upraised, in an attitude of supplication, she cried aloudin a very agony of intensity.
"Oh, my love, do as I ask you to do. Take the oath of nihilism."
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