by Elinor Glyn
CHAPTER XXVIII
Mordryn spent a most unrestful day; he found it very difficult to settleto anything. He felt it wiser whenever his thoughts turned to KatherineBush, immediately to picture Bindon's Green and the auctioneer fatherand butcher grandfather!--they acted as a kind of antidote to the verypowerful intoxicant which was flooding his veins.
And Katherine sat typing mechanically her morning's work, but some thirdsense beyond eye and hand was busy with agitating thoughts. No, shecould play no further game with the Duke, fate had beaten her. It wouldbe no acting. She knew that she was just a woman, after all, and he wasa man, and the Dukedom had gone into shadowland.
He possessed everything that Algy had lacked, there would be no blankhalf-hours when passion was lulled, with him. His perfectly cultivatedintellect could enchant her always. She adored his point of view, asunconsciously arrogant as Lady Garribardine's, and yet as free andexpanded. How she could soar with him to guide her! What happiness totake refuge from everything in his arms.
He did not seem old to her; indeed, except for his thick, iron-grey hairand the expression of having greatly suffered, which now and then showedin his proud eyes, there were no unlovely signs of age about him. Hecould still call forth for many years the passionate love of women. Andwhat was age? A ridiculous phantasy--the soul was the thing.
Katherine was beginning to believe that she herself had a soul, and thatOtto Weininger was altogether wrong about individuals, even if hisdeductions were correct concerning the majority of women.
* * * * *
Several guardsmen from Windsor came over to luncheon, which was socrowded that there was no necessity for Katherine to go down, and teacame before she again saw the Duke. He deliberately allowed himself tobe entrapped by one of the trio of Graces, and did not come near her;and when Katherine got into the drawing-room after dinner, he wasnowhere in sight. A Cabinet Minister, one of the few Her Ladyshipconsidered sufficiently worthy to be allowed to visit Blissington, hadarrived in the afternoon, and the Duke and the hostess, and another manand woman, made a group in the small, red drawing-room in earnestconverse; while most of the rest of the company danced in the hall. AndKatherine went among these, and presently she slipped up to her oldschoolroom.
His Grace was carrying out her request, it appeared, but therein shefound no joy.
And later, Mordryn drank his final hock and seltzer in his old friend'sboudoir, where they had a little talk together alone.
"It has been dear of you to stay so long, Mordryn," she told him."Especially as the diversions which I hoped I had provided for youturned out of no more use than a plague of gnats. I hope you have notbeen too bored?"
"I am never bored with you, dear friend."
"No, I know that; but in a big party, I cannot give you as much time asI should like. You will come again when we are quiet, though, just asyou always used to, and I will really find you a suitable bride."
The Duke was in a cynical mood, it seemed, for he treated this proposalnot at all in the light fashion he had done at the beginning of thevisit.
He replied gloomily that he had decided to select something steady andplain, if he must marry--he knew he could never care for a woman again,and a healthy, quiet, well-bred creature with tact, who would leave himalone, was all he asked. Life was a hideous disappointment and verydifficult to understand, and to try to do one's duty to one's state, andget through with it, was all that anyone could hope to accomplish.
But to this Her Ladyship said a vigorous, "Tut--tut! You speak like aboy crossed in love, Mordryn! If you were five-and-twenty, you could nothave a more delightful vista opening out in front of you, '_Si jeunessesavait. Si vieillesse pouvait_'--that was cried from a wise and enviousheart! Well, you both _know_ and _can_, so what more could a man ask offate! I have no patience with you! I don't want you now only to do yourduty, to fulfil the obligations of your station. You have always doneso. Your life has been one long carrying out of _noblesse oblige_. Iwant you to kick over the traces and be happy, Mordryn! Ridiculously,boyishly happy!--do you hear, conscientious martyr!"
Mordryn heard, but his smile was still bitter, as he answered:
"We are not so made, Seraphim, neither you nor I--we could not do as yousay, even when we were young, and tradition and obligation to our orderwill still dominate us to the end of time, dear friend."
Then he said good-night and good-bye--for he was leaving at cock-crowfor a place of his in the North.
When Lady Garribardine was alone, she did not look at all disturbed atthe passage of events, as she reviewed her Easter party. She smiledhappily, in fact, and decided that she would take her secretary toValfreyne for Whitsuntide, after all!
Man "proposed," but, she reflected sagely, God often "disposed" infavour of intelligent women!
* * * * *
In the following week, the establishment from Blissington moved up toBerkeley Square for the season, and Katherine's duties became heavyagain.
Her first meeting with Gerard Strobridge happened quite soon; he cameinto the secretary's room from the library after luncheon.
"Now tell me all about everything," he said. "I have gathered fromGwendoline that you came down every night and had your usual success atthe Easter party, and that Mordryn evidently liked you, for he told Gwenthat you were the most intelligent girl that he had ever met."
Katherine half smiled, a little sadly.
"Yes, he may have thought so, but eventually the secretary swallowed upthe guest. I do not know if he will ever speak to me again."
"He felt as badly as that, did he! Poor Mordryn! No doubt you tormentedhim; but Mordryn is no weak creature like me. If he feels very muchabout you, he will either defy convention, or break away from alltemptation"--then his voice changed, and he asked a little anxiously:
"Katherine, do you begin to care for him?"
"Yes."
"How much?"
"I do not know--I could care a great deal--he pleases me in every way--Ilove his looks and his mind--and he--he makes me feel something which Ihave never felt before--is it the capability for devotion?--I do notknow."
For the first time in their acquaintance, Mr. Strobridge saw herundecided, gentle, a little helpless even--it touched him deeply. Heloved her so very dearly. He would rather see her happy if he could aidher to become so. He came over to her and leaned upon the table.
"Dearest girl--everything is a sickening jumble in this world, it seems.I have a kind of premonition, though, that you will emerge triumphant,however it goes; but after to-day, Katherine, I shall not see you untillate in the autumn. I am going away--to Russia this time--and I am goingto try once more not to care."
So even her one friend would be far from her. Well, she must not loseher nerve. She gave him her blessing for his journey, and they saidgood-bye. And the days went on apace.
Matilda was engaged to be married to Charlie Prodgers, and was full ofimportance and glee, and had drifted further and further away from hersister ever since the engagement was announced. Some instinctivefeminine jealousy made her feel that she would prefer Katherine to be asfar as possible from her fiance.
"After all, Kitten," she said, when they met in the park to discuss thenews, "you aren't one of us and we aren't one of you. I shall be movingup now into Mabel's set, and there is no use in hiding it, Mabel don'tseem to dote on you."
"Yes, I feel that," agreed Katherine, meekly lowering her eyes, so thather sister might not see their twinkle. "I expect we shall not meetoften in the future, Tild."
"Well, of course, Kitten, I'd always be very pleased to have tea withyou up here now and then," and Matilda gave an uncomfortable laugh; "butit is always best to avoid awkwardness, isn't it, dearie, and you areonly a paid servant, aren't you--living in--not like you were at Liv andDev's, out on your own, and everyone starts better in considering herhusband's position, don't they--and Charlie is manager in his departmentnow, and very particular as to who I kn
ow."
"You are perfectly right, Tild," Katherine's voice was ominously soft,"and so is Charlie. You go ahead, and very soon you will have got aboveMabel, and, of course, I would not be a drag on you for the world. Ithink, after to-day, we will just write to one another now and then, andyou must not bother to come up to see me. We do not think alike on anypoint--but I shall always remember how good you were to me when I was atiresome little girl."
"Oh, Kitten!" and Matilda felt almost tearful; for apart from her fearof reawakening her fiance's interest in her sister, she still had asecret affection for her.
"Yes, you were very good to me, then, Tild, but now we have come to afinal parting of the ways, and we are all satisfied--I shall fulfil myideas, and you will fulfil yours."
And afterwards, when she walked back to Berkeley Square, she pondereddeeply. There was no such thing as family affection really in theabstract--it only held when the individuals were in sympathy and had acommunity of interests. They--her family--were as glad at the thoughtthat they had risen above her, and need not communicate in the future,as she was that she would not have to bring her mind down to their pointof view. Matilda was the last link--and Matilda had shown thatshe desired also to break away. Katherine felt that but for LadyGarribardine's real affection for her, she was virtually alone in theworld.
If only there were no backward thoughts in her mind, she would havelooked upon her fair future as a certainty; sooner or later, with thevisit to Valfreyne in front of her, and the frequent occasions uponwhich she must see the Duke at her mistress' house, she knew she couldcontinue to attract him if she so desired, and make him love her with agreat love. There was that subtle, indescribable sympathy of ideasbetween them. And as Algy had called forth physical passion, and Gerardthe awakening of the spirit, this man seemed to arouse the essence ofall three things, the body, the spirit and the soul.
But there lay this ugly shadow between them, and she began to realisethe meaning of the old saw from Horace, "Black care sits behind thehorseman," and she had not yet made up her mind to dislodge him and defyfate.
The three days in Paris began to haunt her until she severely tookherself to task, and analysed everything. She must not look back uponthem in that fashion. She must remember them gratefully, she toldherself, since they had opened her eyes for the first time in a way thatnothing else could have done, and she indeed felt that it was verydoubtful if she could ever have obtained Lady Garribardine's situation,and so her education from Gerard Strobridge, without the experience thatthat episode in her life had given her to start upon.
It was contrary to all her principles to allow any past action toinfluence with its shadow present events. She would banish thewhole subject from her mind, and leave the future in the hand ofdestiny--neither assisting fate by personal initiative, nor resistingits march by deliberate renunciation.
But she seemed very quiet, Her Ladyship thought, and wondered to herselfat the cause. The Duke was in the North paying other visits for someweeks, and when he did come to Berkeley Square in between times he didnot see Katherine.
So April passed and May came, and with it the prospect of Whitsuntide,early that year. Whitsunday fell upon the eleventh of May.
"You must have some decent clothes," Lady Garribardine had said, a weekor two beforehand, "another evening dress and an afternoon frock. Ithink I should like the first to be white and the other black, and inyour own excellent taste. You will dine down every night as a guest, andwe shall stay from Saturday until Tuesday."
"It is extremely exciting for me," Katherine admitted. "I wonder so muchwhat the house will be like."
"It is a huge Palladian Monument, very splendid and ducal, everything ison an immense scale, and the Duke keeps it up with great state. It ismore like some royal residence than a house, but there are some cosyrooms to be found in odd corners. It will interest and educate you,child. You had better read up all about it in one of the old volumes of_Country Life_--some three years ago, I think, it was described."
Katherine lost no time in doing this, and read of its building in 1680,and of its wonderful gardens "in the French style"--and of its superbcollections of pictures and art treasures, and of its avenues and lakeand waterways and fountains. Yes, it must be a very noble place.
They were to arrive early in time for luncheon, since Her Ladyship wasto act hostess to the party who would come in the afternoon. And whenthey approached the gates, Katherine felt that one of the suprememoments in her life had come.
The park was vast, larger even than Blissington, and with more openspaces, and the house could be viewed from a distance--a symmetrical,magnificent pile. And it seemed that they walked through an endlesssuccession of halls and great salons, until they were ushered into theDuke's presence in his own particular panelled room.
It was very lofty and partly filled with bookcases arranged in rather anunusual way, sunk into the wall itself, with very beautiful decorationsby Grinling Gibbons surrounding them and also the intervening panelswherein fine pictures hung. The curtains and chair coverings were of themost superb old blue silk, faded now to a wonderful greenish tone, andharmonizing with the beautiful Savonnerie carpet with its soft tints ofcitron and puce and green.
Katherine was frankly awed. Blissington was a very fine gentleman'shouse--but this was a palace. And suddenly, the Duke seemed a millionmiles away from her, and she wondered how she had ever dared to befamiliar with him, and rebuke him for coming to her schoolroom to talk!
She was meek as a mouse, and never opened her lips after the first wordsof greeting.
The host had come forward with cordial graciousness and bidden themwelcome, and he had looked a very magnificent person somehow in hismorning country riding clothes. And all the glamour of high rank andpower and fastidiousness enhanced his natural charms, so that Katherinefelt a little cold and sick with the emotion which she was experiencing.He was courtly and aloof in his manner with all his kindness, and in amoment or two he accompanied them along to the Venetian suite himself.
"I must come, dear friend," he had said to Lady Garribardine, "to besure that you have everything you can possibly want."
The Venetian suite was on a par in splendour with the rest of the house.It was on the same floor as His Grace's own sitting-room which they hadleft, and it was reached by a passage place which led to the sameterrace, which the windows looked upon; this was marble paved, with asplendid balustrade. The ante-chamber had been arranged with a writingtable near the great window, and every convenience for Miss Bush to doany writing her mistress might require. For the rest, the Venetiansuite was always reserved for the most honoured guest. Here were asitting-room, a great bedroom and dressing-room for Her Ladyship--allwith the same lofty ceilings and fine windows as the room they had left,and behind it came that charming green damask-hung chamber designed forMiss Bush.
"Here in this apartment you will find yourselves completely quiet andshut off from the world," the Duke said. "Once you have passed the greatdoor, as you know, Seraphim, your suite makes the end of this wing, andonly I can approach you from my sitting-room!"
Lady Garribardine, who knew every nook in the house, smiled as sheexpressed herself as content, and he left them alone.
Katherine examined her room; it would have struck her as very large ifit had been in any other house. It looked on to an inner courtyard witha fountain playing, and statuary and hundred-year-old lilac bushes inhuge tubs. The room was hung with pale green silk, and had beautifulpainted Italian, eighteenth century furniture, and on the dressing-tablewere bowls of lilies of the valley.
She thrilled a little; was this accidental or deliberate?
She was very well acquainted with the workings of a great house, and theduties of the housekeeper and groom of the chambers. She saw from atechnical point of view that these retainers of Valfreyne must be of avery high order of merit because of the result of their work; but eventheir intelligence could hardly have selected the volumes of herfavourite authors, which she had discussed wit
h the Duke, and which wereplaced in bookstands, with the "Letters of Abelard and Heloise" and abeautiful edition of "Eothen" out on the top!
These silent testimonies of someone's personal thought gave herunbounded pleasure; they restored her submerged self-confidence, andmade her eyes glow. It was divine to feel that he cared enough to havetroubled to do this. The subtle flattery was exquisite.
A burning wave of colour overspread Katherine's face, and her nostrilsquivered. If the Duke could have seen her--he would have known that thatquality he appreciated--the quality of real, natural passion--wasabundantly present in her nature. Strong passion controlled by an ironwill--a mixture which he thought quite ideal in the woman whom a manwould choose to be the companion of his life.
It was this particular suggestion about Katherine which had alikeintoxicated the imaginations of these three far different men, LordAlgy, Gerard Strobridge and the Duke. The human, adorable warmth ofemotion of which her white, smooth-skinned face and red, full mouthlooked capable.
Lady Garribardine had told her secretary to take off her hat, as shemight be required to do a little work after lunch.
"I shall settle with His Grace how I think the party had better sit, andthen you can type anything we want."
So Katherine was particularly careful to arrange her silvery hairbecomingly, and looked the perfection of refined neatness as shefollowed her mistress back into the Duke's sitting-room, and then on into luncheon in a smaller dining-room in another wing.
They were only three at the meal, and the host talked of politics, andthe party who were coming, and was gracious. He did not treat Katherinewith the slightest condescension, nor with any special solicitude. Ifshe had been an unknown niece of Lady Garribardine, his manner wouldhave been the same.
Katherine felt chilled again for the moment, and had never appeared moresubdued.
She slipped off back to her room when they went to have coffee in asmall drawing-room, known as "The Gamester's Parlour," for in it washung a world-known picture of the famous thoroughbred of that name, theriding of whom in a match against His Grace of Chandos' colt, Starlight,had been the cause of the third Duke's breaking his neck.
There was no immediate work to be done, so Katherine stood and lookedfrom the window of her green chamber and took in the view. Surely, shethought, if people even with the intelligence of Matilda could see suchmen as the Duke and such splendid homes as this, with every evidence init of fine tastes and fine living and fine achievement, stamped upon itby hundreds of years of noble owners, they could not go on being soblind to the force of heredity and environment as factors in determiningthe actions of the human race.
She stood for a long time quite still, with trouble in her heart, whichevery fresh realisation of the beauties around her augmented.
No--the Duke could never overlook the three days even if he could forgetthat she had come from Bindon's Green--and she could not banish theirmemory either, and so would never be able to rely upon her own power tocarry on the great undertaking untrammelled by inward apprehension andself-contempt at the deception of so great a man--her serenity would begone and with it her power.
Lady Garribardine opened the door presently, and saw her still standingthere.
"Run out for a little walk, child," she said, kindly. "You can reach theterrace from the passage ante-chamber which has been arranged for you towrite in, and there are steps at the side into the garden. I shall notwant you until just before tea. The Duke has the menus and cards anddoor names printed by his own private press. Then come back with youreyes bright, and put on your new black frock."
Katherine thanked her; there never could be anyone kinder or morethoughtful for others than was this arrogant great lady.
The girl walked in the fresh May sunshine, but nothing lifted the weightwhich had fallen upon her heart, and her cheeks were paler than usual,and her air had an added delicacy and refinement when she followed hermistress into the great tapestry salon, wherein tea was laid, and whichwas adjacent to the hall where guests were already beginning to arrive.
She was not introduced to anyone else, but several she already knew;they were selected from the _creme de la creme_ of Her Ladyship's set ofthe rather less modern sort.
Mordryn looked at her constantly unobserved. What was the meaning ofthis new expression in her face? Why would she never meet his eyes? Andhers, when he did see them, turned upon ordinary things, had a hauntingmelancholy in them very different from the sphinxlike smile of old.
He found himself more disturbed than he cared to own. He wished Seraphimhad not brought her, after all--He wished--but he did not even in histhoughts form words. Had her changed air anything to do with that lastabrupt request on the March morning's walk, that he should remember whoshe was and who he was, and leave her alone? Was it possible that shefelt something for him? How wrong he had been in that case to put the"Eothen" and the "Abelard and Heloise" and the lilies of the valley inher room--cruel and wrong. He knew now that he saw her again that he hadthought of her very constantly ever since Easter time, and had chafed atgetting no sight of her when he had twice been in London and had gone toBerkeley Square, though his determination had held at that time, and hehad made no attempt to see her, or even to mention her name. But he knewthat he had looked forward more eagerly each day to Whitsuntide, andthat he had taken peculiar delight in the surreptitious supervision ofthe details of her lodgment, and the choice of volumes wherewith torefresh her mind.
But was this chivalrous on his part? Was he not playing upon thefeelings of one defenceless and in a dependent position--one who couldnot even flee?
He grew uncomfortable. He was painfully conscious of her presence, and asudden mad longing came to him to take her in his arms, and kiss awaythe trouble from her eyes! And then the cynical and humorous side of hischaracter made him smile at the idea of such feelings in a room full ofguests! Guests of his own world, and for the humble secretary of his oldlove! He fretted under the restraint of his unease. And she was here inhis house and he must suffer the temptation of her presence for threemore days. He must not look at her--must not talk to her! He must nothave any subtle understanding with her about the books--must not, inshort, do anything he desired.
Lady Garribardine watched the passage of events with an understandingeye. Something further must be done, she felt.
So just before dressing time, when the company had dispersed, she wentwith her host into his own sitting-room. The evening post had come in.
"Mordryn, I wanted to ask you, can I send a wire over to Hornwell. Ihave just heard Sir John Townly is staying there, and I want to suggestthat he motor over to-morrow to tea. It will be a splendid chance forhim to have a quiet hour with my Katherine Bush. I would like him to seeher here as a guest; he is very much in love with her in his heavy way,and I believe I could get the matter settled all right if you wouldonly help me, like a dear."
The Duke experienced a most unpleasant twinge. This was rather more thanhe had bargained for! Why should Sir John Townly be given thisopportunity in his house!
"The match is quite unsuitable, Seraphim. I can't think how you cancountenance it."
Her Ladyship appeared deliberately to misunderstand him.
"But I assure you, Mordryn, Sir John is not in the least upset by herorigin or her suburban relations; he realises the magnificent qualitiesof the creature herself, and he knows very well that she will make thefinest hostess, and the most dignified figurehead for Dullinglea that hecould find; besides, with her health and youth, he can look forward to astrong little son by this time next year."
Mordryn found himself absolutely revolted--Katherine--(so her name wasKatherine?) Katherine--this delicious creature to be the mother of thatshocking bore John Townly's son!
The red flush mounted to his broad forehead.
"It is not their relative worldly positions I alluded to, Seraphim--buttheir ages and appearances--and, oh! tastes! I think it is perfectlyinhuman of you, and I cannot countenance such a thing."
"If you put it in that way--ask whom you like, but I cannot think howany woman, to escape any position, could sell herself to such a man asJohn Townly!"
His tone was heated and his blue eyes flashed.
"That is just the tiresome part of it," and Her Ladyship lookedconcerned. "I believe she has your same foolish and romantic ideas, andso I thought if she could see him here among this fine company, perhapsthe desire to remain in it, and the glamour of the thing might bring herup to the scratch. Mordryn, do help me like a kind friend. Just think,if she were to leave me, whom else would she ever see? She has quiteseparated from her own family; she has nothing but a life of drudgery infront of her, and she is fitted in every way to be a queen. She is soextremely self-controlled, she would never make any slips afterwards,and her ambitions could be gratified and make up for lack of love."
"I think the idea is disgusting," His Grace snapped impatiently; "butsend your wire, by all means."
Then he abruptly turned the conversation, and presently Her Ladyshipleft him alone, very well pleased with her work! And the groom of thechambers was handed a warmly worded invitation to telegraph to Hornwell,as she passed to her room.