Daddy, however, gained in glory. He approved of his big brother. On his return from London every evening the first thing he asked was, “What have you all been up to to-day? Has Uncle Felix given you the moon or rolled the sun and stars into a coloured ball?” Weeden, too, had grown in mystery — he made the garden live, and understood the secret life of every growing thing; while Thompson and Mrs. Horton, each in their separate ways, led lives of strange activity in the lower regions of the house till the kitchen seemed the palace of an ogress and the pantry was its haunted vestibule. “Mrs. Horton’s kitchen” was a phrase as powerful as “Open Sesame”; and “the butler’s pantry” edged the world of mighty dream.
Above all, Mother occupied a new relationship towards them that made her twice as splendid as before. Until Uncle Felix came, she was simply “Mother,” who loved them whatever they did and made allowances for everything. That was her duty, and unless they provided her with something to make allowances for they had failed in what was expected of them. Her absorption in servants and ordering of meals, in choosing their clothes and warning Jackman about their boots — all this was a chief reason for her existence, and if they didn’t eat too much sometimes and wear their boots out and tear their clothes, Mother would have been without her normal occupation. Whereas now they saw her in another light, touched with the wonder of the sun and stars. It was proper, of course, for her to have children, but they realised now that she contrived to make the whole world work somehow for their benefit. Mother not only managed the entire Household, from the dinner-ordering slate at breakfast-time to the secret whisperings with Jackman behind the screen at bedtime, or the long private interviews with Daddy in his study after tea: she led a magnificent and stupendous life that regulated every smallest detail of their happiness. She was for ever thinking of them and slaving for their welfare. The wonder of her enormous love stole into their discerning hearts. They loved her frightfully, and told her all sorts of little things that before they had kept concealed. There were heaps and heaps of mothers in the world, of course; they were knocking about all over the place; but there was only one single Mother, and that was theirs.
Yet, in his own peculiar way, it was Uncle Felix who came first. Daddy believed in a lot of things; Mother believed in many things; Aunt Emily believed in certain things done at certain times and in a certain way. But Uncle Felix believed in everything, everywhere and always. To him nothing was ever impossible. He held, that is, their own eternal creed. He was akin to Maria, moreover, and Maria, though silent, was his spokesman often.
“Why does a butterfly fly so dodgy?” inquired Tim, having vainly tried to catch a Painted Lady on the lawn.
Daddy made a grimace and shrugged his shoulders, yet left the insect quite as wonderful as it was before. Mother looked up from her knitting with a gentle smile and said, “Does it, darling? I hadn’t noticed.” Aunt Emily, balancing her parasol to keep the sun away, observed in an educational tone of voice, “My dear Tim, what foolish questions you ask! It’s because its wings are so large compared to the rest of its body. It can’t help itself, you see.” She belittled the insect and took away its wonder. She explained.
Tim, unsatisfied, moved over to the wicker chair where Uncle Felix sat drowsily smoking his big meerschaum pipe. He pointed to the vanishing Painted Lady and repeated his question in a lower voice, so that the others could not hear:
“Why does it fly like that — all dodgy?” Whatever happened, the boy knew his Uncle would leave the butterfly twice as wonderful as he found it.
But no immediate answer came. They watched it for a moment together in silence. It behaved in the amazing way peculiar to its kind. Nothing in the world flies like a butterfly. Birds and other things fly straight, or sweep in curves, or rise and drop in understandable straight lines. But the Painted Lady obeyed no such rules. It dodged and darted, it jerked and shot, it was everywhere and anywhere, least of all where it ought to have been. The swallows always missed it. It simply doubled — and disappeared round the corner of the building.
Then, puffing at his pipe, Uncle Felix looked at Tim and said, “I couldn’t tell you. It’s one of the things nobody can understand, I think.”
“Yes,” agreed Tim, “it must be.”
There was a considerable pause.
“But there must be some way of finding out,” the boy said presently. He had been thinking over it.
“There is.” The man rose slowly from his chair.
“What is it?” came the eager question.
“Try it ourselves, and see if we can do the same!”
And they went off instantly, hand in hand, and vanished round the corner of the building.
The adventures they had since Uncle Felix came were of this impossible and marvellous order. That strange and lovely cry, “There’s some one coming,” ran through the listening world. “I believe there is,” said Uncle Felix. “Some day he’ll come and a tremendous thing will happen,” was another form of it, to which the answer was, “I know it will.”
It was much nearer to them than before. It was just below the edge of the world, the edge of life. It was in the air. Any morning they might wake and find the great thing was there — arrived in the night while they were sound asleep. So many things gave hints. A book might tell of it between the lines; each time a new book was opened a thrill slipped out from the pages in advance. Yet no book they knew had ever told it really. Out of doors, indeed, was the more likely place to expect it. The tinkling stream either ran towards it, or else came from it; that was its secret, the secret it was always singing about day and night. But it was impossible to find the end or beginning of any stream. Wind, moreover, announced it too, for wind didn’t tear about and roar like that for nothing. Spring, however, with its immense hope and expectation, gave the clearest promise of all. In winter it hid inside something, or at least went further away; yet even in winter the marvellous something or some one lay waiting underneath the snow, behind the fog, above the clouds. One day, some day, next day, or the day after to-morrow — and it would suddenly be there beside them.
Whence came this great Expectancy they never questioned, nor what it was exactly, nor who had planted it. This was a mystery, one of the things that no one can understand. They felt it: that was all they knew. It was more than Wonder, for Wonder was merely the sign and proof that they were seeking. It was faint and exquisite in them, like some far, sweet memory they could never quite account for, nor wholly, even once, recapture. They remembered almost — almost before they were born.
“We’ll have a look now,” Uncle Felix would say every walk they took; but before they got very far it was always time to come in again. “That’s the bother of everything,” he agreed with them. “Time always prevents, doesn’t it? If only we could make it stop — get behind time, as it were — we might have a chance. Some day, perhaps, we shall.”
He left the matter there, but they never forgot that pregnant remark about stopping time and getting in behind it. No, they never forgot about it. At Christmas, Easter, and the like, it came so near that they could almost smell it, but when these wonderful times were past they looked back and knew it had not really come. The holidays cheated them in a similar way. Yet, when it came, they knew it would be as natural and simple as eating honey, though at the same time with immense surprise in it. And all agreed that it was somehow connected with the Dawn, for the Dawn, the opening of a new day, was something they had heard about but never witnessed. Dawn must be exceedingly wonderful, because, while it happened daily, none of them had ever seen it happen. A hundred times they had agreed to wake and have a look, but the Dawn had always been too quick and quiet. It slipped in ahead of them each time. They had never seen the sun come up.
In some such sudden, yet quite natural way, this stupendous thing they expected would come up. It would suddenly be there. Everybody, moreover, expected it. Grown-ups pretended they didn’t, but they did. Catch a grown-up when he wasn’t looking, and he was looking. He di
dn’t like to be caught, that’s all, for as often as not he was smiling to himself, or just going to — cry.
They shared, in other words, the great, common yearning of the world; only they knew they yearned, whereas the rest of the world forgets.
“I think,” announced Judy one day — then stopped, as though unsure of herself.
“Yes?” said her Uncle encouragingly.
“I think,” she went on, “that the Night-Wind knows an awful lot, if only—” she stopped again.
“If only,” he helped her.
“We,” she continued.
“Could,” he added.
“Catch it!” she finished with a gasp, then stared at him expectantly.
And his answer formed the subject of conversation for fully half an hour in the bedroom later, and for a considerable time after Jackman had tucked them up and taken the candle away. They watched the shadows run across the ceiling as she went along the passage outside; they heard her steps go carefully downstairs; they waited till she had safely disappeared, for the door was ajar, and they could hear her rumbling down into the lower regions of Mrs. Horton’s kitchen — and then they sat up in bed, hugged their knees, shuddered with excitement, and resumed the conversation exactly where it had been stopped.
For Uncle Felix had given a marvellous double-barrelled answer. He had said, “We can.” And then he had distinctly added, “We will!”
CHAPTER VII. IMAGINATION WAKES
For the Night-Wind already had a definite position in the mythology of the Old Mill House, and since Uncle Felix had taken to reading aloud certain fancy bits from the storicalnovul he was writing at the moment, it had acquired a new importance in their minds.
These fancy bits were generally scenes of action in which the Night-Wind either dropped or rose unexpectedly. He used the children as a standard. “Thank you very much, Uncle,” meant failure, the imagination was not touched; but questions were an indication of success, the audience wanted further details. For he knew it was the child in his audience that enjoyed such scenes, and if Tim and Judy felt no interest, neither would Mr. and Mrs. William Smith of Peckham. To squeeze a question out of Maria raised hopes of a second edition!
A Duke, disguised as a woman or priest, landing at night; a dark man stealing documents from a tapestried chamber of some castle, where bats and cobwebs shared the draughty corridors — such scenes were incomplete unless a Night-Wind came in audibly at critical moments. It wailed, moaned, whistled, cried, sang, sighed, soughed or — sobbed. Keyholes and chimneys were its favourite places, but trees and rafters knew it too. The sea, of course, also played a large part in these adventures, for water above all was the element Uncle Felix loved and understood, but this Night-Wind, being born at sea, was also of distinct importance. The sea was terrible, the wind was sad.
To the children it grew more and more distinct with each appearance. It had a personality, and led a curious and wild existence. It had privileges and prerogatives. Owing to its various means of vocal expression — singing, moaning, and the rest — a face belonged to it with lips and mouth; teeth too, since it whistled. It ran about the world, and so had feet; it flew, so wings pertained to it; it blew, and that meant cheeks of sorts. It was a large, swift, shadowy being whose ways were not the ordinary ways of daylight. It struck blows. It had gigantic hands. Moreover, it came out only after dark — an ominous and suspicious characteristic rather.
“Why isn’t there a day-wind too?” inquired Judy thoughtfully.
“There is, but it’s quite a different thing,” Uncle Felix answered. “You might as well ask why midday and midnight aren’t the same because they both come at twelve o’clock. They’re simply different things.”
“Of course,” Tim helped him unexpectedly; “and a man can’t be a woman, can it?”
The Night-Wind’s nature, accordingly, remained a mystery rather, and its sex was also undetermined. Whether it saw with eyes, or just felt its way about like a blind thing, wandering, was another secret matter undetermined. Each child visualised it differently. Its hiding-place in the daytime was equally unknown. Owls, bats, and burglars guessed its habits best, and that it came out of a hole in the sky was, perhaps, the only detail all unanimously agreed upon. It was a pathetic being rather.
This Night-Wind used to come crying round the bedroom windows sometimes, and the children liked it, although they did not understand all its melancholy beauty. They heard the different voices in it, although they did not catch the meaning of the words it sang. They heard its footsteps too. Its way of moving awed them. Moreover, it was for ever trying to get in.
“It’s wings,” said Judy, “big, dark wings, very soft and feathery.”
“It’s a woman with sad, black eyes,” thought Tim, “that’s how I like it.”
“It’s some one,” declared Maria, who was asleep before it came, so rarely heard it at all. And they turned to Uncle Felix who knew all that sort of thing, or at any rate could describe it. He found the words. They lay hidden in his thick back hair apparently — there was little on the top! — for he always scratched his head a good deal when they asked him questions about such difficult matters. “What is it really — the Night-Wind?” they asked gravely; “and why does it sound so very different from the wind in the morning or the afternoon?”
“There is a difference,” he replied carefully. “It’s a quick, dark, rushing thing, and it moves like — like anything.”
“We know that,” they told him.
“And it has long hair,” he added hurriedly, looking into Tim’s staring eyes. “That’s what makes it swish. The swishing, rushing, hushing sound it makes — that’s its hair against the walls and tiles, you see.”
“It is a woman, then?” said Tim proudly. All looked up, wondering. An extraordinary thing was in the air. A mystery that had puzzled them for ages was about to be explained. They drew closer round the sofa, and Maria blundered against the table, knocking some books off with a resounding noise. It was their way of reminding him that he had promised. “Hush, hush!” said Uncle Felix, holding up a finger and glancing over his shoulder into the darkened room. “It may be coming now… Listen!”
“Yes, but it is a woman, isn’t it?” insisted Tim, in a hurried whisper. He had to justify himself before his sisters. Uncle Felix must see to that first.
The big man opened his eyes very wide. He shuddered. “It’s a — Thing,” was the answer, given in a whisper that increased the excitement of anticipation. “It certainly is a — Thing! Now hush! It’s coming!”
They listened then intently. And a sound was heard. Out of the starry summer night it came, quite softly, and from very far away — upon discovery bent, upon adventure. Reconnoitering, as from some deep ambush in the shrubberies where the blackbirds hid and whistled, it flew down against the house, stared in at the nursery windows, fluttered up and down the glass with a marvellous, sweet humming — and was gone again.
“Listen!” the man’s voice whispered; “it will come back presently. It saw us. It’s awfully shy—”
“Why is it awfully shy?” asked Judy in an undertone.
“Because people make it mean so much more than it means to mean,” he replied darkly. “It never gets a chance to be just itself and play its own lonely game—”
“We’ve called it things,” she stated.
“But we haven’t written books about it and put it into poetry,” Uncle Felix corrected her with an audacity that silenced them. “We play our game; it plays its.”
“It plays its,” repeated Tim, amused by the sound of the words.
“And that’s why it’s shy,” the man held them to the main point, “and dislikes showing itself—”
“But why is its game lonely?” some one asked, and there was a general feeling that Uncle Felix had been caught this time without an answer. For what explanation could there possibly be of that? Their faces were half triumphant, half disappointed already.
He smiled quietly. He knew everything �
�� everything in the world. “It’s unhappy as well as shy,” he sighed, “because nothing will play with it. Everything is asleep at night. It comes out just when other things are going in. Trees answer it, but they answer in their sleep. Birds, tucked away in nests and hiding-places, don’t even answer at all. The butterflies are gone, the insects lost. Leaves and twigs don’t care about being blown when there’s no one there to see them. They hide too. If there are clouds, they’re dark and sulky, keeping their jolly sides towards the stars and moon. Nothing will play with the Night-Wind. So it either plays with the tiles on the roof and the telegraph wires — dead things that make a lot of noise, but never leave their places for a proper game — or else just — plays with itself. Since the beginning of the world the Night-Wind has been shy and lonely and unhappy.”
It was unanswerable. They understood. Their sense of pity was greatly touched, their love as well.
“Do pigs really see the wind, as Daddy says?” inquired Maria abruptly, feeling the conversation beyond her. She merely obeyed the laws of her nature. But no one answered her; no one even heard the question. Another sound absorbed their interest and attention. There was a low, faint tapping on the window-pane. A hush, like church, fell upon everybody.
And Uncle Felix stood up to his full height suddenly, and opened his arms wide. He drew a long, deep breath.
“Come in,” he said splendidly.
The tapping, however, grew fainter and fainter, till it finally ceased. Everybody waited expectantly, but it was not repeated. Nothing happened. Nobody came in. The tapper had retreated.
“It was a twig,” whispered Judy, after a pause. “The Virgin Creeper—”
“But it was the wind that shook it,” exclaimed Uncle Felix, still standing and waiting as though he expected something. “The Night-Wind — Look out!”
A roaring sound over the roof drowned his words; it rose and fell like laughter, then like crying. It dropped closer, rushed headlong past the window, rattled and shook the sash, then dived away into the darkness. Its violence startled them. A deep lull followed instantly, and the little tapping of the twig was heard again. Odd! Just when the Night-Wind seemed furthest off it was all the time quite near. It had not really gone at all; it was hiding against the outside walls. It was watching them, trying to get in. The tapping continued for half a minute or more — a series of hurried, gentle little knocks as from a child’s smallest finger-tip.
Collected Works of Algernon Blackwood Page 265