It was a creepy, stealthy business, stalking round the great sleeping cow whose body rose like a small hill against the stars. They kept close to her huge bulk where the shadow was deepest. Stretching out their hands, the children could feel her thick stiff hair, the warmth of her body too. If the animal rolled over, they would be squashed flat. But she didn’t roll over. Only the gentle rise and fall of her great sloping sides was visible as they crawled along. Mrs. Snitch knew a thing or two about cows, asleep or awake. No danger signal sounded.
‘Here’s the hind hoof! ‘ she warned them, stopping at last in front of a dark object as large as a football. ‘ Now, follow me! Take a running jump! ‘ And she scuttled up the hard smooth hoof, leaving her tail dangling for the children to climb up by. ‘ It’s a bit slippery,’ she called from the top. There was a good deal of puffing and blowing, but a moment later Sambo and Topsy stood beside her.
‘My! ‘ exclaimed Sambo, who still held his sister by the hand. ‘ It’s a risky business, this being a man! ‘ He puffed himself out.
‘Follow me,’ replied Snitch, ‘ and don’t boast. It’ll get steeper and steeper as we go.’ And she began to scuttle swiftly up the great hind leg. The children followed more slowly, Sambo first, pulling his fat sister after him with his left hand. His right hand clutched the long hair of the great flank.
They mounted slowly; it was a laborious business; the body lay soft and warm beneath their feet. Higher and higher they rose towards the stars, and steeper and steeper grew the slope.
‘Tread lightly,’ came the lizard’s warning from above, ‘ and if you feel the body move, catch hold of the hair and stop dead. The tail may come flicking round. You never know! She may think flies are tickling her in her dream.’
This was an awful thought. The children had often watched the long tail flicking and lashing about. If it caught them it would sweep them off into space. They moved as softly as they could, and at last they felt the slope become less steep, the hair less thick and matted, and harder ground beneath their feet. They stood on a kind of solid ridge. Snitch had stopped and was waiting for them.
‘We’re on the spine,’ she explained in a whisper. ‘We go on the level now for a bit, till we reach the neck.’
‘Where do we go after that? ‘ asked Sambo, as soon as he had got his breath, Topsy being too winded to speak at all.
The lizard did not answer for a moment. She was thinking, evidently. ‘ Between the flicking ears and up the horns would be the most interesting,’ she said presently. ‘ They’re slippery, and you could slide down them like banisters. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’
Sambo felt his sister’s hand tighten on his own. He remembered that he was a man. ‘ Are they easy to get up? ‘ he asked in a faint little voice.
‘Not very,’ answered Snitch,’ but I’ll help you. Sliding down is the real difficulty. If you slide the wrong side you may land on the nose and mouth and the cow might snort. And that’s risky rather. A good snort would blow you half-way across the field!’
Sambo wasn’t quite sure he liked cows when he heard that. It was Topsy, finding her breath at last and speaking for the first time, who brought his courage back. ‘ I’ll race you, Sambo,’ she said with a thick gurgle, ‘ and I’ll give you choice of horns.’ She was actually laughing! The boy conquered his nervousness. ‘ I’ll give you a start,’ he answered loudly. ‘ You can have half a horn, and I’ll beat you easily.’
The lizard interrupted them. ‘ Come on, now,’ she told them. ‘ We’ve only got two hours, remember, and it’s a longish way down the spine. You’ll feel the body moving probably, but that’s nothing. It rises and falls with the breath, of course, just like your bodies.’
She led the way again at a fair speed, and the children wriggled along behind her. The hair was shorter and less plentiful on the spine. There was not so much to cling to, but it was harder under foot, and they made good speed. On either side the great sides sloped down and away into the darkness of the field far below, but the ridge was broad and nearly level, and Sambo felt very brave until suddenly the upward slope of the neck was reached and the hair became much longer and thicker, entangling their feet in matted, twisted patches.
Here Snitch stopped dead. Beyond her, in the air, rose the broad fiat plateau of the head. The twitching ears, fringed with great webs of hair, spread sideways. Farther, again, the long curve of the slippery horns swept up to the stars like immense toboggan runs.
‘The ears,’ observed Snitch calmly, ‘ aren’t flicking much. She’s too sound asleep. But the horns look extra slippery to-night. That’s the dew, you see.’
She turned her head down to examine the two children. ‘ How do you feel? ‘ she inquired kindly.
Sambo was the first to find his voice. ‘ Quite well, thanks,’ he said faintly. ‘ Only — my legs ache a bit.’
‘And you, Topsy? All right, eh? ‘ asked Snitch.
‘Same as Sambo,’ came the answer, brief for want of breath.
‘Then choose your horns quickly,’ said the lizard. ‘ I think the cow’s going to wake in a minute. She’s rumbling a bit inside. It’s probably a cough coming.’
The noise was like the rumbling of an underground train, but though the great body shook and trembled a bit, the cough did not come, and presently the rumbling and the shaking ceased.
‘Now, choose your horns and shin up them,’ squeaked Snitch. ‘ There’s no time to lose.’
‘Ladies first,’ suggested Sambo, relieved that it was the correct thing for a man to say.
‘I’ll take the left one,’ whispered Topsy, without a sign of nervousness, and almost before her sentence was finished, the lizard had scuttled up to the top and hung her tail down for the children to climb up by. How Topsy managed it was a mystery, but while Sambo pushed and heaved her from below, the fat little body somehow found a footing on the smooth horn and swarmed slowly up it, and a few minutes later her gurgling laughter was heard high up in the air.
‘I’m up!’ she cried, waving an arm. ‘On the very top. Hurry up, Sambo! You give me half a horn’s start, remember, for the race!’
It was now Sambo’s turn. But Snitch did not come down to help him. She stayed by Topsy. ‘ You’ll do it easily,’ she piped. ‘ You’re a man.’
He had to do it alone. Sambo examined the gleaming slippery horn that curved so steeply upwards. He knew the difficulties. He clenched his fists and faced them. He was not a coward, but all the same his heart was quaking as he began the perilous swarm. It was a terrible job. His muscles ached, the perspiration poured down his face, his breath gave out, but he clasped the horn with arms and legs, and after a tremendous struggle he reached the top. Holding tightly to the tip of the horn, he looked about him, while the others shouted ‘Well done, Sambo! ‘ at him across the gulf between them. It was wonderful, but giddy. The stars were nearer; the field far, far below; he was perched high up in the air, and the great body of the cow lay beneath him like a cliff running out into the sea. The wind blew past him sharply.
He glanced down nervously into the empty space below. Would he find the courage to slide full speed down that awful slope? It was so narrow! If he swung round too much he would land on the nose and be blown off into the night! He shuddered.
‘Are you ready?’ Topsy’s call floated across to him. ‘I’ll count One, Two, Three — and away.’ She slid down a little way for her promised start.
‘Ready! ‘ he answered, his voice trembling rather.
‘One — two — three—’ he heard.
But before the ‘ Away ‘ was uttered, something happened — the last thing in the world he expected. It was the warning sneeze.
‘Snitch! Snitch! ‘ came the sharp danger signal. ‘ An owl! We’ve been seen!’
CHAPTER XI
SAMBO, balanced precariously on his narrow tip, had a sort of convulsion. His first instinct, to protect Topsy, was useless, because he couldn’t reach her. His second instinct, to protect himself, was also useles
s, because he didn’t know what to do. He remembered the rule and kept still. It was the only possible thing to do, anyhow. Perhaps he wouldn’t be noticed. He clung as tight and still as ivy to the horn — while the swooping owl shot past him through the air. He saw the big dark body, he heard the wings, he felt the wind they made, and the shrill hunting cry shrieked in his very ears. It was an awful moment, though it seemed more like ten minutes.
‘It’s missed me! ‘ he heard Topsy call.
‘It’s missed me, too! ‘ he shouted back. And the next moment he heard the owl’s wild scream far away among the trees across the road. They were saved.
But someone else besides themselves had heard that owl’s loud shriek. The cow had heard it. It had disturbed her slumbers. The cow began to wake up. She stirred in her sleep. She moved. Slowly — her body rose. She began to get up, rolling to one side as she gathered her legs under her, then to the other side, as she found her feet and prepared for the final effort.
‘Hold tight! ‘ cried Snitch. ‘ You’re quite safe if you just hold on!’
Sambo held on for grim life, as the vast body heaved itself up into the air. Mercifully, no tail came slashing round, but the twitching ears made a wind that blew him sideways, and the cow’s final effort, as she found her four feet, swung him first down, then up, then sideways at such a pace that he almost lost his hold altogether. How he still kept his hold was a mystery. The cow at last was fully up. She stood motionless.
‘Hold tight! ‘ piped Snitch. ‘ She’s going to shake her head, I think. They usually do when they’re up.’
And this cow did. Sambo shut his eyes. Why he wasn’t shaken off into the stars he never knew. It was an appalling shake. The whole earth seemed to shake. Every bone in his body rattled. His head nearly fell off. He bit his tongue. His teeth clicked. But, at last, the shaking grew less and stopped — and the cow began to walk across the field.
Sambo found his breath and opened his eyes. ‘ Are you all right, Topsy? ‘ he called out.
‘R.S.V.P.,’ she cried back in a shaky voice.
‘S.O.S.’ yelled Sambo.
‘A.B.C.,’ his sister answered.
It seemed all they could think of to say in this amazing moment, as the cow, carrying a child perched on the tip of each horn, went walking beneath the stars across the field.
‘I’ll guide her to the gate,’ piped the lizard, and then did a wonderful and clever thing. She slid down the horn, scuttled over the head between the twitching ears, slipped along the wet nose and muzzle, and by tickling the cow’s mouth first on one side and then on the other, she persuaded the animal to turn right or left as she wanted.
In this way, after a long time, they reached the gate in the hedge. The road, with the house just across it, lay below them. The cow stopped dead.
‘Now, get ready,’ called the lizard. ‘ I’ll tickle her between the eyes and she’ll lower her head. Then you must slide down and land on the top bar of the gate. Watch me!’
This happened, too. Snitch flicked her tail about between the cow’s eyes, making the great animal lower her head, till it almost rested on the wooden bar.
‘ — Slide! ‘ piped the lizard.
Sambo shut his eyes, flung legs and arms round the slippery horn, and — slid. He landed head over heels among the thick, soft hair of the head, ran forward towards the nose and, just avoiding the dangerous puffs of breath from the great mouth, he found himself at last standing on the top bar of the gate. Beside him stood Topsy. ‘ I won,’ she chuckled happily, not one bit upset or frightened. ‘ I got down first!’
‘Moo! Moo! ‘ boomed the cow, drowning their voices with a roar like thunder, and making them scuttle down into the road as quick as lightning.
They found the lizard waiting for them. ‘ Well,’ she squeaked, ‘ we’ve had our adventure, and you both came through it very well. You know now what sort of life we lizards lead. Day and night we live with adventure, risk and danger. So you’ve learned something! You’ve learned to move quickly too! The way you scuttled off the gate was very good. Also you’ve learned to keep still. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourselves, anyhow! ‘ she added finally.
‘Thank you very much, Mrs. Snitch,’ murmured Sambo with respectful and admiring gratitude.
‘X.Y.Z.,’ whispered Topsy, using her politest voice, for she, too, was filled with admiration.
Snitch uttered a peculiar squeak, and the glow-worms came flocking round them with their pleasant light. The cow, the children saw, had moved away.
‘The three hours are up,’ mentioned Snitch, ‘ You must get small again and climb up the wall into your beds:
Make me the thmall
That I can crawl
Thtraight up the wall
And never fall!’
There was a dwindling sensation; the ground came nearer; both children became as small as they had been when they started on the adventure.
Accompanied by the Lights, they climbed easily up the wall and through the open window. The glow-worms faded out. Sambo tumbled down on to the carpet. Somehow or other, he lost sight of Topsy, but when he picked himself up he saw that she was already in bed. He could see the lump of her round body beneath the clothes. He climbed into his own bed.
‘Good night! ‘ he heard Snitch call from the window-sill outside.
‘Good night, Mrs. Snitch,’ he called back sleepily as he turned over beneath the bed-clothes, buried his nose in the pillow, and went off into another dreamland.
* * * * * * * * *
It was late when he opened his eyes again. Topsy’s bed, he saw, was already empty; the sun was pouring into the room. He had overslept.
Nannie poked her head in at the door: ‘ I’ve called you four times,’ she said crossly. ‘ If I have to call again you’ll have no honey for your breakfast. The bath water’s nearly cold!’
He crawled out of bed, wondering why he was his natural size again. Snitch hadn’t made him bigger; the last thing he remembered was the difficulty of climbing on to the mattress. He rubbed his eyes as he trotted into the bathroom. His head still felt sleepy.
‘Have you seen a lizard about anywhere, Nannie? ‘ he asked.
‘Lizard! ‘ exclaimed Nannie, astonished at the question. ‘ I should hope not, indeed! What’s the boy talking about! You’ve been dreaming.’ And she popped him bodily into the bath and began to sponge him vigorously.
The cool water chased the sleep from his head, and he remembered that he must not say anything to Nannie about the adventure. He would wait for Topsy. Topsy would be able to explain what had happened. When at last he was dressed and ready, he went in to breakfast and saw his sister with a large plate of bread and honey, already eating hard. He caught her eye. She looked at him innocently, as though honey was the only thing she knew about in the whole world. ‘You’re late, Sambo,’ she said cheekily.
He winked hard at her. ‘ R.S.V.P.,’ he whispered, splashing in his plate of porridge. Then, as Topsy made no answering wink, he added:’ S.O.S.’ But Topsy said nothing to this either and looked as though she didn’t understand what he was talking about. Her face was as blank as a cushion. ‘ P.T.O. and X.Y.Z.,’ Sambo tried again, winking with both eyes this time, then adding under his breath: ‘ Did Snitch make you big again? What happened after she left us — ?’
Topsy stared at him with her mouth wide open.
‘Don’t eat with your mouth open, Topsy,’ Nannie pounced on her at once.’ And you get on with your porridge, Sambo. I can’t think why you’re so naughty this morning.’
Recognizing from her voice that she was serious, the children glanced sideways at her, and went on with their breakfast; but as soon as Nannie was out of the room again, Topsy began full blast: ‘Sambo, why were you so sleepy this morning? And what did you mean by all those letters you said to me? And who’s Snitch, or whatever you called it? And how can I be made big again? You are naughty, you know. I believe Nannie’ll smack you or something if you go on.’
She stopped f
or breath and Sambo stared at her. A queer feeling came over him. Was his sister joking, or had she really forgotten?
‘Topsy,’ he asked solemnly, ‘ don’t you remember a lizard and a cow and an owl and a tremendous cat and a lot of glow-worms flying about to light us — ?’
‘Glow-worms don’t fly,’ exclaimed Nannie, bursting into the room, ‘ they crawl on the ground, for one thing. And, for another, you’d better finish your breakfast instead of talking nonsense. I spoke to you once.’
It was quite clear that Topsy remembered nothing of the adventure, nothing at all. Sambo could tell from her face now. It was full of questions, but not of memory. He felt dreadfully puzzled, but he gobbled up his bread and honey before Nannie could tell him he wasn’t to have any. Topsy, he saw, was now busy with a picture book. She had forgotten all about the things she asked. She changed from one interest to another very quickly always.
‘I say, Nannie,’ the boy asked a few minutes later when he was alone with her,’ is that really true about glow-worms?’
‘That they can’t fly? ‘ replied Nannie. ‘ Of course it is. I read all about them in a book. They’re beetles. The female gives the light and it crawls on the ground. Now, run and get your boots on.’ She said a lot of other things about going for a walk, what he was to wear, and where they were going, but Sambo heard none of it. He was more puzzled than ever. Had the whole Adventure been a dream then, he wondered? It had been grand and marvellous anyhow, and the world was a finer place because of it, and far more exciting than before. Whether Topsy remembered or not made no difference really. He would ask the lizard.
The lizard, however, remained in hiding. She was resting after her wild night, Sambo decided. He also decided that he would not ask his sister any more direct questions. He would just test her instead with a few remarks to see how she would answer. So, when they started for their walk, and Mrs. Tomkyns accompanied them down the drive with her tail in the air like a ramrod, he said: ‘ If you were as small as a mouse, Topsy, Mrs. Tomkyns would look as big as an elephant.’ To which Topsy replied: ‘ But I’m not ‘ — with nothing more. And when they passed the field where the cows were lying down, he said: ‘If you wanted to climb up that cow and ride on her back, which leg would you get up by? ‘ To which Topsy replied: ‘ But I don’t,’ — with nothing more. Once again he tested her: ‘ If you had to climb out of a window and down the wall, would you go head first or feet first, Topsy?’ To which the answer came: ‘Neither. I’d stay inside,’ — with nothing more.
Collected Works of Algernon Blackwood Page 295