The man chuckled. “The black and the buckskin.”
Todd nodded, glanced back at Nick, and smiled at Nick’s eye-roll when the man wasn’t looking. They headed outside and walked around the building.
“So, Nicky, seems you’re exotic.”
After catching and saddling the horses, they headed to the town store and bought a few supplies, and then were on their way back to where they’d stashed their duffels. Once they had things loaded onto the horses, Todd insisted they eat on the road and set off at a good clip. There was no way Nick was able to talk to him.
The sun was near its zenith when they saw a wagon in the distance. When they stopped beside the large wagon, the same one they’d left Nick’s village in a year and a half earlier, Todd waved and smiled at Jimmy. It was the first true smile Nick had seen from him in far too long.
Jimmy hopped down from the wagon and greeted them. “You boys okay?”
“Yeah, we’re…” Todd swung off his horse. “Yeah.” He took the reins of Nick’s horse after Nick dismounted and tied them to the back of the wagon. “Will you grab the maps?”
“Sure.” Nick climbed into the wagon and immediately felt a rush of joy. He found the box they kept the maps in. Beside it was one of Nick’s trunks. He lifted the lid and gazed down at the contents. The little bear Todd had bought and given him during their first days was on top of his clothes. Nick reached in and ran a finger over it, squeezing his eyes shut. He had to try to make things right. Secured along the side of the wagon was the drawing Nick had sent to Todd so many years ago and Todd had had framed. It sank in then. This was their home now.
Nick scooted out of the wagon and handed the maps off to Todd. Nick’s master rifled through them for a minute before finding the one he wanted. Others were handed back to Nick. Todd unrolled it, crouched down, and spread the map on the ground. “New Colorado goes from the caldera all the way south to the Gulf. I’ve never been east. We can’t go south or west.” Todd jabbed at a point on the map, turned, and looked up at Nick. “How about we go north? Stick to the Rockies, plenty of food to hunt, the land is easier to defend. Thanks to a century or more of trade between us and Yellowknife Protectorate we use the same currency. So all this money will be good and no one will think anything of it.”
“There’re a few towns just over the border. You can stick closer that way,” Jimmy added.
“That was my thinking, too.” Todd stood and rolled the map up, handed it back to Nick. “Plenty of places to get lost in.” He turned back to Jimmy. “Thanks for grabbing our gear.”
“No worries. You two just be sure I hear from you soon.”
“Yes, sir.” Todd nodded and untied the horse Jimmy had brought, saddled him, and held him.
Jimmy patted Nick’s shoulder on his way by to his horse. “You be sure to keep him out of trouble.”
“I’ll try.” Nick ducked his head and smiled shyly.
Jimmy swung up onto the horse, and pointed a finger at Todd and gave him a stern look. “No bullshit, boy. Every week I want a message, got it?”
Todd smiled. “Got it. As soon as we’re settled somewhere.”
Nick busied himself taking care of their horses, unsaddling and storing the saddles and saddlebags while Todd replaced the maps. Twenty minutes later, they were driving the wagon north. Nick’s mind drifted back to when he’d woken in the hospital, how caring and protective Todd had been. How Todd had drawn Nick against his chest to sleep, and then later in the tunnel when he’d simply held Nick tight for a few minutes. Nick had literally soaked up the attention. He’d missed it so much. Now all he could do was cling to those moments and hope Todd might someday be that way again. Right now, Nick was afraid to do anything other than try and blend into the background.
* * * *
Todd tried to relax as he drove the wagon, but it was nearly impossible. Nick sat huddled in on himself on the other side of the bench seat. He acted as if he was afraid of Todd, not that Todd blamed the poor guy. He’d been acting like some sort of lunatic the past few days. Now he’d gone and made everything worse by destroying their lives and taking everything away he’d worked so hard to give Nick. He’d turned an innocent man into a wanted fugitive.
Glancing sideways, Todd caught how Nick’s gaze slipped to him every few seconds, but his mate made no attempt at any sort of physical contact. That was what bothered Todd the most. Nick was very tactile, at least with Todd. When most stressed out, Nick preferred sitting at Todd’s feet and wedging himself between Todd’s knees. He adored being touched and held and often actively sought out those gestures.
Now, however, Nick sat a foot away, hands folded together and tucked against his body, shoulders drooped. Since meeting up with Nick at the train depot, there’d been nothing more physical between them than their initial hug. He knew Nick wanted to tell him something, but, honestly, Todd wasn’t able to deal with more than one thing at a time right now. Getting them out and to a reasonably safe distance was all he could work on. The questions from the man he’d bought the horses from had completely thrown Todd. He hadn’t expected word to get around so fast, and it sent icy chills through him. He was terrified someone would recognize Nick as the “escaped” slave and take action.
If people knew Nick’s general description, how much longer until there were pictures of him, or a more detailed description? Todd’s only thought right now was to run, run far and run fast.
“Is it okay if I go in the back?” Nick’s soft, tentative voice drew Todd’s attention to him.
Shocked that Nick would ask and caught off guard, Todd simply nodded, stopped the wagon, and said, “Sure.”
Watching Nick climb slowly down, giving Todd an odd look—maybe as if he were expecting Todd to stop him—then feeling the wagon shift when Nick climbed into the back, tore at Todd’s insides. They’d never traveled like this. If one of them was hurt or sick, he would sometimes ride in the back. Nick was especially difficult to coax into the back of the wagon even then. He was always too interested in what he’d miss along the road, too curious to see what was coming up to, as he would say, be cooped up in the stuffy back of the wagon.
Todd spent some time trying to convince himself it was still the kelbit venom. Maybe Nick really didn’t feel well or was so tired he simply wanted to be able to stretch out and nap.
The simple fact was, Todd felt as if he’d lost Nick, and that was losing everything. No matter what he did to try and convince himself it was nothing and there was no hidden meaning to Nick’s wanting to be alone in the back of the wagon, it didn’t work. As the sun sank, so did Todd’s heart. Biting down on his lower lip, he held the reins in one hand and pinched his nose with the fingers of the other, trying to force back his guilt and tears. Finally, he was unable to hold either at bay.
After finding a decent spot to camp for the night, Todd unhitched the team and went to check on his mate. He peeked in, and Nick was indeed asleep. For now, at least, Todd could convince himself he’d simply overreacted. He decided the best course of action was to make some dinner; then he’d get a few things from inside the wagon and sleep outside, giving Nick a bit of privacy.
They were on side roads and getting into a more unsettled, remote area. New Colorado City was still ten or so miles north and east, but for now it was unlikely they’d be found. Todd had planned a route that would take them east around the city and then north. Starting to feel more relaxed and safe, Todd figured in the morning, after they were both a bit more rested and less frazzled, he’d find out what Nick had been trying to tell him. Whatever it was, Todd was quite sure they’d get it sorted out in no time.
Smells of food didn’t draw Nick out of the wagon, so Todd left him alone, deciding he probably needed the sleep. Nick rarely skipped a meal and was in little danger of starving between now and morning. If he woke up later and was hungry, he’d see the food Todd left for him. He cautiously lifted the flaps along the back of the wagon, inched inside slowly, and pulled out some clothes to sleep in and a
book, all the while being very careful not to wake his mate. Nick’s color was fine and his breathing steady. Todd chalked the entire thing up to exhaustion and stress.
The night was warm. There wasn’t really a need for a fire for anything other than light to read by, so Todd’s fire was a small one. Todd settled a few feet from the wagon, and read for a bit, then rolled over and away from the flames and dropped off to sleep. The sky was cloudy and the stars had moved halfway across the sky when he realized his eyes were open and he was awake, lying on his back and staring up.
Todd blinked a few times, then pushed up onto his elbows, looking around. Something had woken him, but he couldn’t figure out what. The horses were snoozing, so no predator was around. The distant rumble of thunder made him decide he should move inside the wagon. Todd kicked dirt over the fire, gathered his stuff, and quietly crept inside, freezing the second his eyes adjusted.
Nick was gone.
Pushing down his panic, Todd reached out and felt the spot where Nick should have been sleeping. Possibly Nick had simply gone out to relieve himself, or get a snack, or something completely reasonable.
Todd’s fingers touched cold bedding. “What the—?”
Back outside, Todd scrambled to the ground and searched the entire campsite and the area around it. Nothing.
Gone. Nick was gone.
Chapter 13
Nick pulled his knees up and scooted closer to his fire. He was high up in the mountains, and even this late in the summer the nights were chilly without a blanket. The distant rumble of thunder was closing in; the wind was picking up and the temperature dropping. The small fire offered Nick a tiny amount of comfort. He was against an escarpment but had no real shelter against the coming storm.
He was seriously starting to rethink his actions and plans.
When Todd had come into the wagon only long enough to gather some clothes and then slipped back out again, it had been too much. Nick’s whispered “You’re leaving me alone here,” had either gone unheard or ignored. Nick preferred to think it was the former, but it had been the last straw. He couldn’t take any more, and he didn’t know how to face Todd after literally destroying his master’s life.
So Nick had taken the few things he considered truly his possessions and run. He’d pulled on the sweatshirt Todd gave him the night after Todd had come to the village for him, stuffed the hunting knife Todd had sent him for his sixteenth birthday and the small carved bear Todd had given him into the pockets, and crept away from the wagon and into the night. He’d never steal from a stranger, let alone the man he loved and worshiped.
He could hunt and build a shelter; he had the skills. A gun was something he was forbidden by law to carry unless with his master, so the knife was useful as well as having an emotional value. Tomorrow he’d find a better place deeper in the wilderness to live. For now, it was this meager fire and hoping the storm blowing up wouldn’t drench him too badly, that the escarpment offered enough protection.
The sound of someone with unfamiliar footsteps approaching set Nick on edge and on guard. A man stepped out of the woods. He had a pack slung over one shoulder and carried a rifle in his hand. Several smaller handguns and a knife in a sheath hung on various parts of his legs.
“Where’s your owner, boy? Runaway, eh?”
Nick shook his head and groaned inwardly. He knew he should have taken off his collar, but it was the last tie to Todd. He may not have felt he deserved Todd’s love anymore, but he wasn’t ready to sever his only remaining link to Todd.
“No, sir. He told me to stay here and wait for him.” This guy didn’t look too smart. Nick hoped he could pull this off.
The man snorted. “Well, finders, keepers.”
Definitely a real genius. “I need to wait here for him.” Nick turned on the most innocent expression and tone he could muster.
After pulling a handgun from one of the holsters on his leg, the man paced around Nick, keeping it pointed at him. “You’re a fine, strapping kid. Bet you can do a good day’s work. Pull a plow, haul equipment. Let’s go.”
Nick shook his head but froze when the man cocked the gun. This was the type of person Todd kept him very protected and sheltered from, so Nick’s experience in dealing with someone like this was sorely limited.
The sound of horse’s hooves reached Nick’s ears a split second before the sound of a gun being fired made him start. Hands fisting against his pants, he looked up.
Swinging toward the sound of the gunshot, the man lowered his weapon.
“He said he was ordered to stay here, and he was. You plan on stealing my property?” Todd snapped. “Last I checked, stealing a slave could get a man hanged.”
“You got proof he’s yours, mister?”
Todd held up Nick’s papers in one hand so the man could see them. He pulled his shirt away from his chest, exposing his tattoo. “Show him your brand, Nick.”
Silently, Nick did as Todd instructed. The man looked from one to the other, nodding slowly.
“Sorry for the misunderstanding. You shouldn’t leave him alone like that.”
“You shouldn’t want to try and steal slaves. Now, if you know what is good for you, you’ll get out of my sight and never get into it again.”
After tipping his hat and nodding to Todd, the man mumbled another apology, turned on his heels, and jogged back through the woods.
“What are you doing, Nick?” Todd holstered his handgun but stayed mounted on the horse. He’d obviously left in a hurry. He was riding bareback and had brought nothing other than what he could carry.
Nick looked up and dropped his gaze to the ground almost at once. Todd looked absolutely shattered. “I disobeyed you. I ruined your life. Everything you’ve ever worked for is gone because of me.”
“Nick, you disobey me daily.”
Nick flinched. Did Todd honestly think he was so horrible he was constantly rebellious and untrustworthy?
Todd sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. He slid from the horse, took a few steps forward, and crouched on the opposite side of the fire, almost as if he was afraid Nick would bolt. “It was a joke. You used to laugh at my stupid jokes, and two weeks ago you would have laughed at that one.” He took a few deep breaths and spoke softly. “Look, Nick, you’re my mate, you’ll always be my mate.” Todd’s words choked off, and he looked away from Nick and at the trees for a few seconds. “But I’m not an asshole. You’re not happy, and if you want to go, you’re free to go. I’d never force you to stay, and you’re always welcome back.” He stood abruptly, wiping at his face. “But for Pete’s sake, come back to camp and get your clothes. Take two of the horses or the wagon if you want.” Todd waved one hand in Nick’s direction, adding roughly, “You might want to take off that stupid collar.”
Lifting his head, Nick looked at him again. “What?” he said, startled, hands going instinctively to the band around his throat, suddenly shaking.
“Take it off, Nick,” Todd ground out. He held his hand out, fingers jerking in a “give it here” movement.
Sniffing, Nick let his fingertips brush over the soft leather he loved so dearly, slowly pulling it around so that he could unbuckle it.
He couldn’t do it.
Maybe he was unwanted, but he didn’t want to give this up, too. He let his hands drop to rest on his lap. He couldn’t take off Todd’s collar.
After a moment, Todd’s hand dropped, and he spoke in a low, desperate voice. “The only person whose life here was ruined was yours, Nick. I turned you into a fugitive. You never did anything wrong. I have nothing left to give you, no home, nothing but what’s in that wagon—” Todd broke off, voice thickening, then continued in a hoarse whisper. “What the hell did you do that you think is so bad compared to that?”
Wiping the back of one hand over his nose, Nick stared at the ground as he spoke. “I—he—the kelbit, I tried not to…but he…You told me it was just us and you never…and—”
“And what, Nick?” Todd’s voice wa
s tired. He closed his eyes. “What did he do? Was it something you wanted to happen?”
“No!” Nick barked at once.
“But you let him anyway?” Todd’s voice was like a hard-edged knife. “Is that it?”
“No! It wasn’t like that!” Nick felt tears spill down his cheeks. “He forced me!”
“He what?” Todd spat.
“He forced me!” Nick didn’t mean for it to come out as a shout.
“Yeah, Nicky, he forced you.” Todd’s face and voice softened, and he hunkered down beside the fire again. “He forced you. That’s my fault, Nick, because I wasn’t there to stop it or protect you.”
Shaking his head, Nick said, “No, there wasn’t anything you could have done. It’s not your fault, nothing is your fault.”
“Nothing is yours either,” Todd said quietly. “And for the record, if it’s the choice between your life and a sexual favor or two, dude, fuck them blind, for all I care, as long as you come out okay.”
Todd sighed and stood, brushing the dirt from his jeans. “One more thing, Nick. The only thing I have that I really worry about losing and care about keeping is sitting in the dirt next to this measly fire.”
Todd waited a few seconds more, then turned and walked slowly back to his horse. He grasped the horse’s thick mane, swung himself astride in one smooth, fluid motion, and settled himself on the horse’s back once more.
Looking back at Nick, Todd held out his hand and said softly, “Please, Nick…”
Nick glanced at the fire for a few seconds. He turned back and looked up at Todd. His master’s face was open and unmasked. Todd looked scared, unsure, and hopeful all at once. It hit Nick hard in the gut. Todd was expecting his rejection, for Nick to decide to strike out on his own.
The last place Nick wanted to be was out on his own.
Nick got to his feet and made his way over to where Todd sat on the horse. Looking up at his master, his mate, his love, he rested his hand on Todd’s leg and drew in a trembling breath. “The only home I care about is the one with you.”
Together Bound Page 18