by LYNN, K. C.
“Well hello, little Miss Hope, it’s a pleasure to meet you. What good manners you have.” She shakes her hand before moving to Parker next. “And you, Parker.”
“Hey,” Parker mumbles, accepting her hand for the sake of pleasantries.
“And this is Piper,” Grace says next.
Piper kneels in front of them. “Hi, Hope and Parker, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m glad you guys could come. We could sure use the company tonight.”
“Is everything okay?” Grace asks, concerned.
“Everything is fine,” Lucy croaks.
The look Barbara and Piper give each other says it’s clearly not but they leave it alone.
“My turn.” Lucy looks at the children, eagerly waiting for her introduction.
Hope doesn’t wait for Grace to introduce her and walks right up to the bed. “Hi, Miss Lucy, my name is Hope Catherine Evans. Me and Mama baked you a special pie today.” She thrusts the pie toward her that she’s been holding. “It’s one of my most specialist creations. It’s called Healin’ Pie. It’s gonna heal you for when Mama helps with your osperation.”
Lucy stares at her, her sunken eyes wide and glossy with tears. “You made this for me?”
“Yes, ma’am. Mama helped of course, ’cause only the best pies are made when we do it together.”
She gapes at her, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Thank you so much. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”
She’s about to take the pie from Hope but Grace intervenes, grabbing it to set it down on the stand next to her.
“You’re welcome,” Hope says. “I wasn’t sure what your favorites were so I took a guess. Do you like bananas, chocolate, marshmallows, and…” She pauses, thinking. “Oh yes, and caramel?”
Lucy smiles. Her body might look weak but her smile sure isn’t. “Yes, I do. Those were great guesses.”
Hope beams, proud of herself.
“Can I have a hug, Hope?”
Hope walks into her arms before she finishes the question, hugging her tight. “Everythin’ is gonna be okay, Miss Lucy. I’ve been prayin’.”
A bunch of muffled sniffles sound throughout.
Jesus, now my fucking throat is on fire.
“Thank you,” Lucy whispers. “Prayers can be powerful and I need all the ones I can get right now.”
Barbara turns away to hide her emotion and moves for the door. “I’m going to go get Dr. Schaefer and let her know Grace is here.”
That puts me on alert. It’s clear there’s something going on.
After the door closes Hope steps back and Lucy looks at Parker. “Hi, Parker.”
“Hey,” he greets her, his voice softer than before.
“You’re as handsome as your daddy,” she tells him.
“I know.”
Everyone chuckles at his honesty.
Can’t blame the kid for being confident. I urge him forward to give her what he has.
“Um, I got this for you.” As he hands her the big folded piece of paper Grace comes to stand next to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I pull her in close and drop a kiss on the top of her head.
Lucy opens the picture and a single rose falls out. Picking it up she brings it to her nose, her eyes closing as she inhales it. A smile forms on her lips when she looks at Parker. “You bought me this flower?”
He nods. “Yeah, my dad took me.”
“He even used his own money,” I tell her, knowing he won’t.
Her smile brightens. “I’ve never gotten flowers from a boy before. Thank you, Parker.”
“You’re welcome,” he mumbles, ducking his head.
Barbara and Dr. Schaefer come walking in at that moment.
“Hi, Grace,” she greets her with a smile before nodding at me. “Sawyer.”
I return her nod, my heart pounding like a fucking drum in my chest.
Grace introduces her to the kids.
“Very nice to meet you both,” she says, shaking each of their hands before looking at Grace and me. “Can I speak to you for a moment out in the hall?”
I glance down at the kids, not wanting them to hear whatever the hell she’s going to say.
Piper waves us away. “Go ahead, Lucy and I will keep them company.”
“Is that okay with you guys?” I ask them, mainly looking at Parker.
When they both nod, Piper brings Parker over to the chair beside her while Hope crawls up on Lucy’s bed next to her. Feeling certain they’re okay with it, Grace and I follow the doctor and Barbara out into the hall.
“What’s happening?” Grace asks, her voice trembling.
A look of regret washes over Dr. Schaefer’s face. “Lucy is deteriorating even faster than I expected. I’m nervous to wait until Friday. What are the chances of you being able to come in sooner?”
“How soon?” Grace asks.
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“Fuck,” I breathe, feeling like someone’s ripping my fucking guts out.
Grace looks up at me with fear in her eyes. I pull her against me and try tamping down the panic threatening to suffocate me.
“Yes,” she whispers. “If there’s no other choice then I’ll be here tomorrow.”
Tomorrow.
One fucking night before my wife gives a part of herself she’ll never get back. An act of selflessness that could very well cost her, her own life and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
Grace
We sit in the living room at Jax and Jules’s with some of our closest friends. After we left the hospital Sawyer had called Cade, Cooper, and Mac to come and meet us so we could fill them in.
All the children are upstairs in the playroom, their laughter traveling through the solemn air, easing some of my anxious heart.
“You sure about this, Grace?” Cooper asks.
I nod. “Y’all would understand if you met Lucy. She’s amazing and has become very special to me in a short amount of time.”
Mac puts an arm around my shoulders. “You know I’m worried ’bout you, darlin’, but it’s your decision and I respect it. Don’t worry about the bakery. I got you covered.”
“We’ll all pitch in and help,” Faith says. “We can even take the kids if you need.”
“Thanks, but Sawyer’s parents will be here in the morning, they’re gonna help.” I glance at Sawyer who leans against the wall. He gives me a wink and smile that does nothing to mask the turmoil in his expression.
He looks destroyed and it’s my fault.
“Grace, why don’t us girls go outside and get some air?” Kayla suggests.
Swallowing thickly, I nod and get up to follow them out the door. Sawyer stops me as I pass him with a hand on my arm. As I look up at him, he hooks a hand around my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. A kiss that floods my body with warmth and lights up my soul.
A kiss I pray to feel for the next fifty years.
He pulls back and rests his forehead on mine, creatin’ an intimacy as if we’re the only people in the room. After a long moment he presses his lips to where his forehead was resting and lets me go.
I walk away quickly, not wanting to burst into tears in front of everyone. As soon as I make it outside I take in lungfuls of much needed air, my breath heavy and fast.
“Yeah, figured you could use some fresh air,” Kayla says.
“Are you okay, Grace?” Julia asks, coming up to rub my back.
I’m about to lie and say yes, but my heart can’t do it. “No, I’m not. I hate that I’m hurting my family. I’m so scared, not only for myself but Lucy, too. Everything is happenin’ so fast I feel like I can’t catch my breath.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” Faith asks.
“No. Not at all, but it’s still scary, ya know? Lucy…” I trail off, lightly shaking my head. “She still has so much to live for. Y’all will love her when you meet her.”
“I’m sure we will, especially if she’s a part of you,” Julia says, warming my
heart.
“The whole situation sucks, Grace,” Kayla starts. “But you can’t blame yourself for any of this. Not even your family’s feelings. No matter what decision you would have chosen it would have hurt someone, but with this decision it could work out for everyone.”
“Exactly,” Faith agrees softly. “If it’s any consolation I would be doing the very same thing.”
I stare back at three of my closest friends—friends who have become like sisters to me—and ask them the one thing that’s being weighing on me the most.
“I need y’all’s help,” I whisper, the tears I’ve been desperately trying to hold back erupting to the surface.
“Anything,” Julia says.
“Promise me…” I trail off, my breath hitching. “Promise me, if something happens to me, you will help take care of my family.” I cover my mouth as a sob explodes from me.
The three of them wrap me in their arms, holding me tight, their pain mixing with my own.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” Kayla chokes out. “But we have you covered, Grace. We always will.”
“That’s right,” Julia whispers, “because we’re family and we always take care of our own.”
I breathe a little easier knowing that no matter what happens, from here on out, my family will always have this.
I sit next to Hope on her bed, tucking her in nice and tight like always. “You excited for Grandma and Grandpa to be here in the morning?”
She nods. “Yeah, but I sure am gonna miss you tomorrow when you’re gone.”
I watch her little throat bob and it rips through my wounded heart. “I’m gonna miss you too, baby, but it will only be for a couple of days. I’ll be home before you know it. In the meantime, enjoy your time with Grandma and Grandpa and think of some amazin’ creations for us, okay?”
She nods. “I already have a new one brewin’.”
I smile. “What’s it called?”
She watches me, her small hand rising to lie against my cheek. “It’s called I Love My Mama Pie and it’s gonna have the sweetest of ingredients because you’re so sweet.”
My smile brightens, love fillin’ my heart. “It sounds wonderful. I can’t wait to make it with you.”
“Me, too.”
I drop a kiss to her forehead. “Good night, Hope, I’ll see you in the mornin’.”
“Night, Mama.”
Before leaving I scoot down and press a kiss to Chuckie’s head, where his chin rests on her little feet. He always takes turns sleepin’ with each of the kids.
“Night, boy,” I whisper, earning myself a groan in response that has both Hope and me gigglin’.
Walking out, I pass Sawyer as he exits out of Parker’s room and find myself unable to make eye contact with him. I’m already too close to breaking.
“Hey,” I softly greet Parker, pasting on the best smile I can muster.
“Hey.”
I sit next to him on the bed, my arms bracing on either side of him. “So what did you think of Lucy and Piper?”
He shrugs. “They seem nice.”
“They are. And Lucy loved the flower you bought her. It brightened her spirits.”
He nods but remains quiet.
I reach out and cup his small handsome face that looks so much like his father’s. “Everything is going to be okay, Parker. I promise. I’ll be home before you know it.”
“I know,” he says but doesn’t sound convinced. “Don’t worry about anything. I’ll take good care of Hope while you’re gone.”
A smile curves my lips. “I know you will, because you’re just like your father.” I lean down, pressing my lips to his cheek. “Strong,” I say, moving to his forehead to lay another one. “Kind.” Then down to the tip of his nose. “And honorable.”
His small arms lock around my neck, hugging me close. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, baby. More than the moon and stars.”
“You know when I play all those jokes on you it’s only ’cause I love you, right?”
“Of course I do,” I whisper, hating for him to think otherwise. “Those jokes, Parker, are one of the many things I love about you. You might give me a heart attack but you also make me laugh, and girls love to laugh,” I tell him, remembering our conversation the other morning in the kitchen.
“Good. Then I’ll make sure to have a lot more for you when you get out of the hospital.”
“I’m counting on it,” I chuckle, giving him one more kiss. “Good night, I’ll see you in the mornin’.”
“Night, Mom.”
As I leave his room and close the door, I’m about to head to the kitchen but stop when I hear Sawyer and Hope.
“Daddy, can I tell you a secret?”
“Always.”
“Don’t tell Mama, okay?”
As a moment of silence stretches between them, I try not to let that sting.
“Okay.”
“I’m tryin’ so hard to be brave for her but I’m real scared and my heart is hurtin’ an awful lot right now,” she says, her words turning into a sob.
Pain explodes through me, knocking the breath from my lungs. I didn’t think I could hurt any more than I already did but I was so wrong.
“You don’t need to be afraid, Shortcake. Everything is going to be okay. I promise not to let anything happen to her.”
Unable to bear hearing another word, I move into my room and drop down on my bed, my face burying into the mattress as I shatter into a million pieces. I sob out all the hurt and fear ripping through me.
I have no idea how long I cry for before I feel the bed dip behind me, and Sawyer’s warmth wrap around me. His hand coasts up my shirt, his warm rough skin resting on my tummy as his lips press against my bare shoulder.
“Don’t cry, Cupcake,” he whispers, his voice sounding as sad as I feel.
It only makes me cry harder. “I’m so sorry I’m hurtin’ y’all.”
“You’re not hurting us. The whole situation fucking sucks, for you and Lucy, but it’s not on you, Grace. It’s not your fault.”
I turn over to face him, his hand now moving to my back as I stare up at him. I cup his strong jaw; his green eyes that I love so much are dark with pain. “Sawyer,” I whisper through my tears. “If something happens, I want you to—”
His hand slams down over my mouth. “Don’t!” he grinds out, his jaw locked down. “Don’t fucking say that. Nothing’s going to happen to you.” His breaths come out short and fast, each one sounding painful. “It can’t because I can’t fucking survive without you. You hear me?”
The desperation in his voice has me nodding. I swallow back my emotion, seeing how much he needs me. Removing his hand, he replaces it with his mouth, his kiss exploding through me and warming every cold, fearful place inside of me.
My hands move to his shirt, pulling it up his body. “I need you,” I plead against his lips. As he sits up to remove his shirt, I lose mine, and soon the rest of our clothes follow.
I suck in a sharp breath the moment he moves over me, his skin meeting mine, sending electricity through every nerve ending of my body.
Always. It’s always like this.
After pressing a long kiss to my forehead, his intense eyes hold mine as he enters me in one smooth motion, completing me—body and soul.
“I love you so much,” I cry, unable to stop myself.
“I love you too, baby,” he says, his voice sounding as rough as sandpaper. He drops his forehead on mine. “Promise you’ll come back to me.”
“I promise,” I whisper, unable to deny him, and pray that I can keep that promise.
Reaching for my hand, his fingers link with mine before moving it above my head, holding on tight as his body moves inside of me with absolute perfection.
A single tear escapes him, spilling onto my face and mixing with my own as he stares down at me. Wrapping my arms around him, I hide my face in his neck and cling to him with everything I am.
Every touch, eve
ry breath, and every kiss is achingly beautiful as he makes love to me like never before.
He makes love to me as if it will be the last time.
Sawyer
I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life. I’ve voluntarily walked into a war zone. Slept in some of the worst places imaginable. I’ve been chained up like an animal, whipped and beaten within an inch of my life.
I’ve kissed death a thousand times.
But as I sit here in the hospital waiting room, knowing someone is slicing into my wife, I’ve never felt more fucking terrified in all my life.
There’s a silent terror locked inside of my chest, making it impossible to breathe. It claws its way through my insides and tries working up my throat.
I feel like I’m going to be sick.
I swore to my kids this morning that everything was going to be okay. I swore to Grace that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and I have yet to ever break a promise. I went as far as threatening serious harm if my wife didn’t come back to me.
Unfortunately, the rest is out of my control, and I’ve never felt more fucking helpless.
I sit with my head down, elbows resting on my knees. My hands shake and palms sweat. Piper, Barbara, and dickhead sit across from me. Other than a simple hi to the mom and Piper, I’ve ignored them. Mainly because I’m worried I’ll unleash all of this pent-up rage on the asshole next to them.
I’m so caught up in my head that I don’t register the sound of several footsteps until they’re standing in the same room as me.
“Want some company?”
My head snaps up at the sound of Kayla’s voice, and I get to my feet when I see the waiting room filled with my closest friends—family. Everyone from Kayla and Cooper, Julia and Jaxson, Cade and Faith, Nick and Katelyn…even Sarge and Mac are here.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask, hating how gruff my voice sounds.
Jaxson walks over, clapping me on the shoulder. “We’ve lived through hell together once already, we weren’t about to make you live through it again alone.”
The fucker makes me want to cry like a pussy.
Cade clasps my hand, clapping me on the back. No words needed.