“And now you get inside,” Cherry said.
“What?”
“You heard me. Kitchen table. Now.”
“Cherry…”
She uncrossed her arms and reached behind her. She showed me the wooden rolling pin. That was her weapon of choice besides a dish towel.
I nodded in defeat.
I put my cigarette away and followed Cherry into the house.
As I walked through the front door, I reached up and patted the top of the doorway. I looked back over my shoulder.
It was as though I’d never see the light of day again.
Then again, with Cherry, you never knew.
I looked at the stairs and thought about Nova. Fast asleep in her bed. Her mind racing. Her heart broken.
I entered the kitchen and Cherry was at the stove with a bowl and a spoon.
She pointed the spoon at me. “I said table. Now. Sit.”
I didn’t say a word as I took my normal seat at Cherry’s table.
She brought me the bowl, which was her famous chili. She reached into her apron and brought out a bottle of my favorite hot sauce. It amazed me she remembered that about me. That she cared enough to remember it. That she cared enough to get a bottle, knowing I was in town.
I had a vision of Cecily meeting Cherry. Spending time with Cherry. The things Cherry could teach her about life.
But what about Rory?
And just like that, the bubble burst in my heart.
Cherry sat across from me, a cup of coffee waiting for her.
“How old am I?” she asked.
“That’s a trick question,” I said. “I’m not dumb enough to answer that.”
“And I’m not dumb enough to not know what’s happening under my roof. You and Nova are two smart people, but when you’re together… I wonder what happens to your brain cells. Where they go.”
“I can give you a guess,” I said.
“She’s drunk. Right?”
“She’s sleeping, Cherry.”
“Defending her,” Cherry said.
“Telling you what you need to know,” I said.
Cherry sighed. “Forgot how annoying and stubborn you could be.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “The chili is amazing.”
“Of course it is. I cooked it.”
I laughed. “Confident, huh?”
“Start talking to me, Elijah,” she said, quickly changing the subject.
“About what?”
This time Cherry didn’t reply. Or threaten to smack me. Or actually smack me.
But the thing was… her stare alone… I would have rather her smacked me.
I enjoyed one last heaping scoop of chili before I slid the bowl to the side.
“The easy thing to say is that I fuck everything up,” I said.
“Right,” Cherry said. “So you blame yourself to blame everyone else.”
“Exactly.”
“But you’re not going to do that, right?”
I shook my head. “Trust me, Cherry, there’s not much to the story.”
“Having a baby is a really big deal. And at your age…”
“I know this,” I said. “I didn’t even know she was pregnant.”
“So she’s not from…”
“I can’t believe I’m sitting here talking to you about this.”
Cherry pointed at me. “Believe it. Because Nova is a mess right now. And while it’s not my job to take care of her, I do care. She’s an adult, but in my eyes and heart… she has nowhere else to go, Elijah.”
“Once again, I know that,” I said. “I was the one who got her out of that house. Remember? I was there for all of it. We were finally together. The way we wanted to be. Not some summer arrangement. It had more meaning. More feeling. We didn’t need to hide from each other. And then this happens.”
“Explain what that means.”
I curled my lip at Cherry. “You know what that means. Rory showing up to my father’s house with a baby. A baby I never knew about. Okay? A baby that I’m supposed to just suddenly love and care for. And then Rory stands there like… like I owe her something. But she never said a word to me. She never tried to contact me once. Until recently. Which was why I came back here to begin with. So in some fucked up way, Cherry, if it wasn’t for Rory hiding the pregnancy and then writing some note, I wouldn’t have come back here to meet up with Nova again…”
I stood up.
I looked around.
My body started to shake.
“You can throw the bowl,” Cherry said so calm. “You can break it. Go ahead.”
I stared at Cherry.
I swallowed hard.
She pointed at me. “Sit your ass back down, Elijah.”
I slowly sat down, collecting myself.
“That’s what I thought,” Cherry said. “You’re upset because you do care. I hope you realize that. And by caring the way you do, it makes you a good person, Elijah. It makes you a good father.”
“I would never hurt that baby,” I said to Cherry. “I would never abandon her. I’m trying to figure this out. How to be Cecily’s father and then have Nova love me.”
“Maybe you and Nova just need a little more time,” Cherry said.
“I’m done with time. Time has been the thing that always hurt us. Having those summers together always looking over our backs, knowing time was going to take me away from her. Fuck that.”
“But time lets someone see the bigger picture,” Cherry said. “Right now all Nova can think about is everything that went wrong. How perfect it was for her. For you and her. And even with her mother going back to her father, she had you. And the thing is, Elijah…” Cherry looked away for a second. “The thing is, Nova is just as good and caring as you. In her mind and heart she knows you would do anything for her. Yet she wants you to do the right thing for your daughter. And you feel that too. Because you both have perfect examples of fathers who weren’t that great.”
“I can love them both,” I said to Cherry. “Nothing changes between Nova and me. I don’t know how to help her right now. Her pain. Her fear. Her doubt. I’ll just keep showing up. Give her anything she needs.”
“Then maybe that’s all you can do,” Cherry said.
“But the situation is never that easy,” I said. I leaned back in my chair and laughed. “I never thought things would happen the way they did. Rosemary loves Cecily. And she and Rory get along. It’s like… it’s like this was all planned out. Rory did all of this on purpose…”
“Elijah, have you talked to everyone? Not together, but one by one? Have you thought of that?”
“Words aren’t exactly my thing,” I said.
“You’re talking to me.”
“You forced me.”
“So, force yourself to talk to everyone else.”
“I don’t want Nova broken anymore. I don’t want her to hurt. And ever since I came back, that’s all I’ve done to her. Maybe I haven’t helped her at all, Cherry. Maybe I should…”
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
I hurried to check it.
My heart begging for a text from Nova upstairs. My mind telling me I needed to check because what if it was about Cecily.
It was the second option.
A text from Rory.
Need u. U need 2 b here.
I put my hand over the phone screen and nodded.
“I have to go,” I said.
I stood up.
This time Cherry didn’t challenge me.
She looked up at me and nodded.
I walked out of the kitchen toward the front door of the house. The house that was the only place that ever felt like home to me. Now there was nothing Cherry could do for me. What was done was done. It was the present time. The reality. And it wasn’t going to just go away either.
As I reached for the front door, I turned my head.
I had that strange sense that someone was watching me.
And I was right.
Nova
was sitting on the steps, staring right at me.
* * *
“Hey, babe,” I whispered.
I tucked my phone into my back pocket and stepped to the wide landing at the bottom of the stairs.
Nova was halfway up the stairs, her hands hidden in the sleeves of the hoodie, wiping her eyes.
“Talk to me,” I whispered to her.
Nova shook her head.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” I said.
“How am I supposed to sleep?” she asked.
“You just kind of close your eyes,” I said. “Drift off to sleep. Want me to tell the story again about the surfboard?”
“That was a stupid story, Elijah.”
“Well, I sort of made it up off the top of my head, babe.”
“Oh.”
“Now you hurt my feelings.”
“I hurt your feelings?” Nova asked.
That put me right in my place.
“Sorry,” I said. “How long have you been sitting here?”
“Long enough,” she said.
“Cherry busted me the second I went outside,” I said with a grin. “Should’ve known, huh?”
“I guess.”
“She’s worried about you, Nova,” I said. I reached for one of Nova’s hands and she tucked them into the hoodie pocket. “She knows everything you’re doing. And why.”
“Whatever,” Nova said.
“It’s not whatever, babe.”
“Then what is it?” she asked. “You’re secretly a good person, Elijah. Who would have thought. So you’re going to do whatever it takes to take care of your daughter. And I’m secretly a good person too. So I’m going to sit here in pain knowing you need to take care of your daughter.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you,” I said. “Nothing has to change, babe. We’re still us. It’s still Surfer Girl and Summer Boy.”
“It’s not, Elijah,” Nova said. “That’s the thing. It’s not. From the second you showed up… it’s not summer. So that means nothing. It was about us. Nova and Elijah. Finally. Just like you said to Cherry.”
“And just like I said to Cherry, I love you,” I said. “This whole thing is fucked up right now. And I had no idea what was going on. Not a clue, Nova. And I’m not just going to leave either. I’m going to figure this all out and make it all work. But you getting wasted every night…” I lowered my head. “Shit. I can’t tell you what to do, babe.”
“Why not?” Nova asked.
I looked at her and smiled. “You’re too beautiful and stubborn to listen to me. And if someone told me what to do, I’d do the opposite.”
Nova shrugged her shoulders. “So don’t tell me what to do, Elijah.”
“Fine. I won’t.”
“Good.”
She opened her eyes wider.
Those fucking wild, perfect, blue eyes.
I gritted my teeth for a second. “Hey, babe. I just realized something.”
“What?”
“I know why you can’t sleep.”
“Oh? I can’t wait to hear this.”
“You got changed. I tucked you in. I told you a story. I forgot the most important part.”
“Which is?”
“A bedtime kiss,” I whispered.
“Yeah, right,” Nova said. “You kissed me before you left.”
“Nah. That didn’t count. I’m talking a real bedtime kiss.”
“Elijah…”
I stepped up the stairs and closed in on her.
She leaned back against the steps.
She didn’t take her hands out of the hoodie pocket.
She just stared at me.
I lowered my mouth down to hers and gently kissed her.
As I pulled away, she moved toward me and kissed me.
So I kissed her again.
Her lips were sweet and tempting. The lips that made me go crazy.
We stopped kissing at the same time.
But we didn’t move away from each other.
We just lingered.
Our lips touching.
Brushing against one another’s.
I could tell Nova was about to say something so I kissed her again.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket again.
Then again a second later.
Nova and I were so quiet and the house was so quiet the buzzing was easily heard.
I reached back for the phone, my head and heart battling once again.
My head telling me I needed to get to Cecily. My heart telling me to stay right there with Nova.
I broke the kiss and looked at my phone.
Hello?????
Need u asap … hurry!
I stepped down a step and looked at Nova.
“That’s what I thought,” Nova said.
She stood up and ran up the stairs.
I opened my mouth to call her name but knew there was nothing I could say or do.
At the top step, Nova turned her head and looked down at me.
“Everything already has changed, Elijah,” she said.
She disappeared and I stepped up a step.
My phone buzzed again.
I shut my eyes and felt pain rip through my heart.
I had no choice… I had to go check on my daughter.
* * *
I rushed to the house.
The kitchen was quiet and empty.
Most of the house looked quiet and empty.
I thought about texting Rory asking what was wrong with the baby, but I could have or should have done that when I was still at Cherry’s.
But that would have been a dick move.
I hurried to the second floor and down the hall to the bedrooms where Rory and Cecily were staying.
When I opened the door to their room, there was the soft glow of a nightlight. The sound of music playing. Rory’s bed was empty, the sheets a mess. And in the crib… a sleeping Cecily.
I let out a long sigh of relief, but that was replaced by anger.
I waited a few seconds to make sure Cecily was breathing and actually asleep.
Which she was.
I slowly shut the door and looked to my bedroom door.
That’s when my lip curled.
My hands balled up into fists.
I walked toward the door and it opened before I could get there.
“Elijah,” Rory said. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
She was dressed in tight black pants that matched her tight black shirt. And that matched her black hair, black eyes, and her black heart.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I asked.
“You just walked into the baby’s room. You could have woken her up.”
“I thought something was wrong with her,” I growled. “I didn’t know what to do. I thought she was sick. Or hurt. Or…”
“I wanted to see you,” Rory said.
“What?”
“I mean, the baby. She was fussy again. Like really fussy again. But then she slept. Or crashed. Or whatever.”
“Rory, what is wrong with you?” I asked. “I was doing something. I was out of this house. I was…”
“You weren’t being a father,” she said.
That was the easy cheap shot.
Right to my heart.
“No,” I said. “That’s not fair to say.”
“And me being alone was fair?”
“You chose to be alone,” I threw at her, knowing it wasn’t the time or place to say it.
Rory gasped. She laughed, but not in a funny way. She looked up and started to blink fast. She kept laughing.
“And that’s why…”
“Why what?” I asked.
“Why I had no idea what to do,” she said. She looked at me, tears in her eyes. “I knew what I was to you. You were using me. You made it very clear what I was. I was the complete opposite of the person you loved and lost. Which was fine. Just… whatever, Elijah…”
Rory stepped back into the bedroom and shut
the door.
Now the situation was even more awkward.
She was in my bedroom even though I didn’t consider it to be my bedroom. Yet it was my damn bedroom.
I looked to the bedroom door where Cecily was sleeping.
The floor sounded nice.
But a part of my heart didn’t want Rory to do something crazy like leave. She could just take Cecily and disappear.
Which meant I walked to the damn bedroom and opened the door slowly.
Rory stood at the large window that faced the ocean.
She was hugging herself.
On the bed, the sheets were pulled down, pillows stacked along the headboard. There was a giant green bowl full of popcorn. And there were cans of soda, plastic cups, and a bottle of whiskey.
I turned my head and saw the TV screen.
I shut my eyes.
“Cecily was fine,” I said.
“Yeah,” Rory said without looking back at me.
“You knew what to text me to get me to come back here.”
She didn’t say a word.
I looked at the bed again.
I shook my head.
“What is this?” I asked.
Rory finally turned.
Slowly.
But she turned around.
With her right hand she wiped the corners of both eyes.
She kept her left hand under her breasts, as though she was desperate to show them off. They were impossible to miss. And since she enjoyed not wearing a bra near me, it was even more impossible to miss.
I sucked in a breath and told myself to stay calm.
“What do you think this is, Elijah?” she asked me.
“I don’t know what anything is anymore, Rory.”
“Neither do I. So, fine. I decided to do something for you. For us. For myself. Okay? I took care of Cecily. Rosemary gave her a bath and fed her. I put her down. She went to sleep without a problem too. So I asked Rosemary if I could sneak out for a minute. I went and got us something to do. I know you don’t want to be seen with me. I know you don’t want anyone to see me. Like I’m some kind of disgusting freak. Like you’re ashamed of me. Like I haven’t had to deal with that since finding out I was pregnant.”
I let out a sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Fuck, Rory. It’s not like that. I never said any of that.”
“It’s how you act.”
“What do you want me to do here?” I asked. “I’m processing this. What you did…” I gritted my teeth. “What did you want me to do tonight?”
HIDDEN CREEK CRY: a hidden creek high noval Page 7