by Kate Sander
How could she forget to look up when all of this was overhead?
"This better be good," Senka said from behind her.
"Do you ever remember to look up?" Tory said in awe.
"What are you talking about?" Senka sighed.
"Look up," Tory said, still not facing her.
Senka walked up beside her and obliged. Gasping, she said, "Woah."
"We're so small, in the grand scheme of everything," Tory said.
"But it feels like we're so big."
"Yeah, yeah it does."
Silence and beauty as they floated along in the middle of a calm sea.
"We need to work this out," Tory said. "There's too much on the line. All this could be gone. No one left to see it if we fail."
"You're right," Senka said. "I won't make Akira forget it, but I will talk to her about working with Eris."
Black Eyes joined them.
"Holy shit," Senka jumped.
"Black Eyes, meet Senka. Senka, meet Black Eyes."
"You're a ghost?"
"You bet I am," Black Eyes said. "And I'm here to see you."
"Me? Why me?"
"Carter wants to talk to you," Black Eyes said, “and,” looking her up and down, continued, "I think you need to talk to him too."
16
Carter
Sleep was eluding him.
The couch was bumpy and dug into his back. The pillow was hard and kinked his neck at a weird angle. At least he had a couch. Most of the ZTF were snuggled in blankets on the floor.
Shelly had outdone herself and had found enough blankets to keep all thirteen of them cozy.
One more night of comfort and then...
And then they all were putting their lives on the line.
A different situation for the handlers. They were used to staying behind closed doors, running the mission from the safety of the ZTF headquarters. Now, with headquarters gone, they were going to have to go most of the way with the agents.
Yet, the snoring all around him said that they weren't worried.
Or at least not as worried as he was.
He'd have to thank Shelly. And pay her. The family of his son had let them in to their home, had taken care of his family. His work family.
Feeling like a complete failure, he rolled over on the couch and closed his eyes again. Isaac, his son, popped into his head. Just barely in his life and here he was, taking and taking from them. All he ever did was take, take, take. He had nothing to give.
With these dark thoughts, he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
The dream flashed in his head. Horrible memories, as they always were.
"No, Mel," Carter snapped, driving too fast along the wet highway. The windshield wipers were on their highest setting and Carter still had trouble seeing. "I don't want a cat. We don't need a cat."
"C'mon, baby," his girlfriend begged him, pulling at his arm. "A cat would be perfect. You barely need to take care of them, they're like self-sufficient. And the rescue is giving them away for free right now."
Carter looked at her. Her beauty caught him. Glowing. The light of his life. His entire world.
"Marry me?" he breathed, looking at her.
"What?" Mel asked him, eyes wide.
"Marry me?"
A huge smile broke over her face, "Of cour-"
Headlights through the windshield. Mel screamed, never finishing her sentence. Carter swerved on the slippery road, but his tires couldn't keep traction. A concrete pole rushed toward them. Carter jerked the wheel, but the car didn't turn.
It never turned.
Slamming into the pole, Carter's airbag deployed, knocking him unconscious.
Gasping, he sat up on the couch.
That dream, that terrible dream. It would plague him for the rest of his life.
Carter grimaced and rubbed his eyes. A hangover. How much had he drank last night? It was a blur, he didn't remember anything.
Lots of crazy dreams, though. Especially a long one about a ghost named Black... Coat? Black Tongue? Shaking his head as the memory faded, he rose from the couch in his living room and wandered to the kitchen.
Weirder still, he'd dreamed that he was sleeping on Shelly's couch. Carter shook his head. "You really need to stop drinking so much," he muttered. Finding a clean glass proved to be more of an issue than he thought, dirty dishes crowded the counters.
"Fuck it."
Running the cold water in the sink, he resorted to sticking his whole head under the tap. Maybe the cold water would clear his head of this damn hangover.
Turning his face towards the steady stream, he drank deeply, trying to get rid of his dry mouth. Removing his head and resorting to his shirt to dry off his face, he already felt human again.
A familiar clink of a Jack Daniels bottle hitting a glass made him smile.
Senka was awake. He'd missed her in the living room, being so focused on getting water.
Carter walked into the living room and saw her, just as she'd always been.
"Where the fuck you been?" Senka asked.
Carter took three giant strides and wrapped her in a bear hug.
"Woah," Senka said. "What's eating you?"
Letting her go, he looked her over. "I don't know," he said. "I just really missed you for some reason."
"I hear that," she said, handing him a glass and raising her own. "Hair of the dog. Happy Tuesday."
"It's Wednesday," Carter said.
"Close enough."
Same joke as always, but it made him smile. Carter drank the burning liquid and relished the feeling.
Senka stopped mid drink. Just froze mid motion. The liquid froze, her breathing froze, her eyes froze.
"Senka?" Carter said. "Senka? You okay?"
No response. She remained frozen, glass to her lips, not even blinking.
"Knock it off," Carter said. "Senka, I said knock it off. I'm too hungover for your bullshit today." He reached out and nudged her.
A blinding flash of red light exploded in his head. Covering his eyes with his arms, he fell backwards over the couch and on to the floor with a loud bang. His glass went flying and shattered on the floor.
"What the hell," Carter said, crawling to his hands and knees. White and red dots flickered like stars underneath his closed eyelids. The pain in his head was like a knife stabbing him repeatedly behind the right eye.
"Fuck me," he muttered and opened his eyes painfully.
Black.
There was nothing beneath him. No floor, no ground. Nothing. Total and utter darkness.
"Holy shit," he said, scrambling to his feet. Fear pushed the pain away quickly and he took in his surroundings. Or lack thereof.
Nothing. He was standing in complete black. There was no light source, no floor, no ceiling. Nothing.
"I'm dead," he muttered. "I died. I'm dead. Holy shit."
A figure appeared a hundred feet away. There was no light source, but he could see her clearly. Standing tall, beautiful, dark and magnificent. It could really only be one person.
"Mel?"
Finally. He was dead. And he'd be back with Mel. And Senka. And Tomo. And Amanda.
They'd be a family again.
"Not quite," the woman said, walking closer so Carter could make her out clearly.
"Black Eyes," he breathed.
"Indeed," Black Eyes said from right in front of him. "Sorry for the theatrics, but we couldn't figure out another way to get you to think about Senka other than plopping a memory of her alive in your living room. You had to think that she was alive, because she is. If you kept thinking she was dead then you wouldn't have been able to talk to her."
"What... What are you talking about?"
"He's ready," Black Eyes called over her shoulder. Walking past him, she whispered, "Good luck, buddy. I'll be back at Shelly's when you wake up."
Carter didn't know if she disappeared or not. Couldn't be bothered. Appearing in front of him was Senka.
He wrapped her i
n a bear hug for real this time, the smell of her hair filling his nose, her heart fluttering against his chest.
"Is it really you?" he sobbed into her hair. "You're alive?"
"I am," Senka breathed. "I'm in The Other Place. And I'm alive. I couldn't... Carter I couldn't save her."
Carter squeezed her tighter as Senka started sobbing into his chest.
Heaven.
This was heaven.
"It's okay," Carter said softly.
"I tried. I tried to save her. I thought I did," Senka said. "Our Tomo. They took over her mind, Carter. She wasn't herself, not in the end. I don't even know if she remembered Amanda. I don't even know."
"It's okay," he repeated. "It's okay. You're here now. You're safe. That's what matters."
Senka pushed him away. "I can't come back with you," she said. "This is a middle ground. Nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I can't come back."
Cupping her chin, he lifted her head and gave her a long kiss. "Then we better not waste our time together."
It was glorious, they had all the time in the world. Lips touched, skin touched. Clothing was removed slowly, agonizingly slow. But, they wanted to stay here forever. And the longer this took, the longer they had together.
Her fingers found him and he gasped.
His fingers found her and she moaned.
Pulling her down into the nothing, they joined. The internal light radiated from her face underneath him.
"Oh, god," she whispered, burying her head in his chest.
He stopped and they kissed again. Kissed some more. Exploring each other again. Switching positions, they started with a moan and a gasp. Then, when she was close he stopped. And started again.
And again.
And again.
He'd bring her to the brink then stop. Delaying the inevitable. Savouring every single second.
Finally, when her legs were shaking and he was near blind did he let them both release.
And sink into the blessed void of nothing.
Forever. He'd stay in this nothing forever, with her.
"Carter," Senka said from beside him.
"Hmm?"
"As pleasant as that was," she muttered, "I didn't just have Black Eyes bring me to you to fuck."
"You sure?"
"Pretty damn sure," she laughed. "Get up. Get your clothes on. We need to chat."
"Slave driver."
"You have no idea."
It took them a bit to find their clothes in nothing. It was all a surreal experience, trying to do anything. But, their clothes magically found them and they untangled the mess, each trying to get dressed, each trying to take as long as possible.
Finally, they were dressed and ready to talk.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Carter asked, sitting down and tapping the ground beside him.
"Well, there are a few things," Senka said. "And I'm not sure where to start."
"Then I will," Carter said. "We've found Freudman, Malin and Roald. That ghost Black Eyes was a huge help. We're moving on their compound in five days. It's in Manitoba of all places. And get this," Carter said. "They're old and being kept frozen. Roald is Roald Ammondson."
"No," Senka gasped. "I didn't even put that together!"
"I know, right? It's crazy. So him and that lady Malin fell into a crevasse on a glacier. Freudman was frozen trying to find them. They went to The Other Place. At one point, Freudman woke up here, went and found them in the crevasse and kept them frozen, transporting them to Manitoba and kept them in cryogenics."
"You have to kill them," Senka said. "They can control people. It's what happened to Tomo. They took over her mind and they made her try to kill me. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to fight them."
Carter patted her hand. "You're strong enough. If you aren't no one is."
"We'll do this together," Senka said. "Want to hear my info bomb? The Other Place isn't a place at all, it's a time."
"What?"
"I know it's crazy. Tory, my friend over here was protecting a book they called The Book of All. People were killing each other for it, some two thousand-year-old book that was supposed to win all wars."
"Sounds like a fucked up version of the bible."
"Right? Anyway, let me finish. Legend told that only someone from a different world could read it. She brought it to me."
"And?"
Senka shook her head. "It's a copy of The Lord of the Rings."
"What the hell!"
"I know! It's crazy," Senka said.
"Could a Zoya have just brought it over?"
"It's like thousands of years old," Senka said. "Found in a cave with a guy who sounds like he was in mountaineering gear. Zoya haven't been around that long."
"Apparently Nikola Tesla started the Zoya," Carter added.
"Wow," Senka said. "Tory said something about that but how did you find out?"
"Freudman talks about it in journal entries."
They sat in silence for a while, each processing the other person's information.
"There's crazy stuff happening over here," Carter said. "Ramjeet has pretty solid evidence that it's because the Ampulex are using Tomo's pills to make so many Zoya."
"What's going on?"
"The natural disasters are out of control. First Salvador was swallowed by a tsunami, then San Francisco fell into the sea."
"Holy shit," Senka said. "I saw Salvador. I saw it. I wasn't sure if it was just a fucked up dream or something."
"No, it happened. Millions are dying, Sen. We have to stop it. Freudman has this black stone," Carter said. "I'm going to destroy it. It's keeping him young. He's always one step ahead. I need to kill him and break the stone."
"Tory has a red stone," Senka said. "They must be paired. It's what she used to send me here. It's got the powers of the first Zoya locked inside."
"So if we destroy them..."
"We will close the link."
"Stopping Zoya from crossing," Carter said. "But then... Then you can't get home," he grabbed her hand. "I can't lose you again."
Senka bowed her head. "One for many," she said. "We have to. And it gets worse, Carter."
Squeezing her hand and wiping a tear from his eye, he said, "How could it possibly get worse?"
"I'm... I'm..." She bowed her head. "Do you remember that night before I left for Germany? And I snuck into your room and..."
Carter jumped to his feet. "Fuck off," he said, face contorting into sheer pain.
"I know," Senka said, burying her head in her hands.
He sank to the ground in front of her. "What did we do to deserve this?"
Senka couldn't speak. Sobs wracked her body. Carter drew her in and hugged her close.
They stayed there for a long time, each mourning the loss of the other.
A hand gently touched Senka's shoulder.
It was Black Eyes. "We have to go," she said softly. "Tory can't hold the connection any longer."
They both nodded, releasing each other slowly. Standing, they embraced.
For one last time.
Black Eyes grabbed Senka's hand, leading her away.
"Take care of my baby," Carter sobbed to her. "You take care of my baby, you hear?"
"I'll tell her about her daddy every day," Senka called, already disappearing into the nothing.
"Break the link, we have to save the world."
Carter sat up quickly on the couch in Shelly's basement, breathing hard, gasping and sobbing.
"You okay boss?" Ramjeet asked sleepily from the floor.
"Fine," Carter managed to gasp as he scrambled to his feet and headed for the door. He ran up the steps and outside into the cold night, craving the frigid night air.
Looking up at the stars, he yelled in agony.
He had to break the link. And he'd never see his love and his child again.
"I'll tell her about her daddy every day."
The words reverberated in his head.
A girl.
&
nbsp; He had a daughter.
And he'd never see her.
Break the link to save the world.
And it would cost him everything.
17
Senka
Senka was ripped out of nothing and back onto the ship.
Gasping, she opened her eyes and stared up at the stars.
"It's okay," Ujarak was saying somewhere out of her vision, "Tory, it's okay. Come back to me now. Come back."
Sitting up quickly, her head swam and nausea hit her. This time, it wasn't the boat or the pregnancy. It was the look of absolute and sheer pain that Carter had given her.
His baby. He'd never see his baby.
Nausea took hold and Senka scrambled to her feet and ran to the railing, vomiting over the side.
"Make sure she's okay," Ujarak barked to someone behind her.
Soft feet ran up to her, followed by the familiar padding gait of her panther.
"You okay?" Akira asked hesitantly, patting her on the back.
"No," Senka said. "No, I'm not. I don't think I ever will be."
Exhaustion took over and she sank to the deck.
"Is Tory okay?" she asked Akira, who sat down beside her. Kai plopped himself over them both, keeping them warm.
"She's not coming to like you did," Akira said. "Ujarak just got her back, but it took a lot out of her."
Senka was sinking down into darkness.
"Senka?" Akira called from far away.
She wanted to answer, but she couldn't. Darkness took hold.
This time, she woke gently. The rocking of the ship brought her to consciousness. Warm blankets around her, along with the deep snoring of Kai beside her made her feel right at home and at peace.
Opening her eyes, she focused on the roof above her. Someone must have brought her inside after she'd passed out on the deck.
Groaning as she rolled over, her entire body protesting the move.
"Getting too old for this shit," she muttered.
A groan from the floor caught her attention.
"I agree," Tory said. "I'm too old for this shit. Ugh, my head."
Senka pushed herself up slowly with a grunt. "How you doing?"
"Bad," Tory said. "Very, very bad."