by Books Kid
INTRODUCTION FROM AYPIERRE
I remember the first time I met a creeper.
Back then, I was still discovering Minecraft and I wasn’t making any videos. I didn’t know anything about the game, and I was already having a hard time handling my wooden axe and my blocks of dirt.
I had managed to build my very first shelter (which had no roof and no windows) so that I had somewhere to spend the night. Then I saw something through the door. Even though I was a beginner, I knew to avoid skeletons, zombies, and spiders, because they are all very common enemies in the world of video games. But, without thinking, I opened the door to my unexpected guest: a funny green creature with a strange expression. And then, this happened:
“Pssssssshhhhhhhhh BOOM!!!!!!”
It was the first in a long series of explosions.
I quickly learned to fear these diabolical monsters and to always remain alert, listening for that alarming whistling sound that often comes right before “Game Over.”
Multiple creepers pursued me back to my shelter. I screamed in surprise when I came face-to-face with one of them in a cave. I yelled angrily when my beautiful structure was deformed by a series of chain explosions. In short, the creepers had quickly become my nightmare, and I hurriedly learned the famous “hit-and-run-away” method of dealing with them.
That’s how it is with creepers! A creeper swiftly latches on to people and doesn’t know how to show his love in any other way except by exploding under the nose of the player unfortunate enough to have attracted his attention. However, the creeper is also the game’s mascot, and I’ve lost count of the merchandise that proudly displays the “terrifying” face of our favorite monster.
So, I ask the following question:
IS THE CREEPER A PRANK-LOVING MONSTER, OR A MISUNDERSTOOD CREATURE?
Today, this book allows us to discover Mervyn’s story. While I was reading it, I laughed a lot and grew fond of this little guy. Let’s hope his story will help us better understand creepers so we can all live in harmony! In any case, I am sure you will enjoy the unexpected twists and humor this story has to offer.
As for me, I’m going back to my adventures and wish you all a pleasant read. And who knows? Maybe I’ll also succeed in becoming best friends with a cree…
“Pssssssshhhhhhhhh BOOM!!!!!!”
DAY 1
Dear Diary,
I thinK I should begin by introducing myself. My name is Mervyn and I’ve decided to Keep a diary to help me prepare for the Creeper Combustion and Confusion Competition.
What? You didn’t thinK that creepers Kept private diaries? Well, I’ve got one. Because I do Know how to read and write, thanK you very much. I don’t Know why people thinK creepers are stupid. If they listened to us, they would Know that we are communicating with them.
The thing is, we all have a little hair on our tongues, and so this maKes it sound liKe we’re hissing all the time–liKe ssssssssnaKes. We also speaK very fast. I thinK I can see why it sounds liKe hissing, if you’re not listening closely. But it’s not.
In fact, we’re saying:
“Hey! We want to be your friends!”
Then, we become so frustrated at not being understood that we explode. It’s very annoying. Anyway.
THE CREEPER COMBUSTION AND CONFUSION COMPETITION.
You must be wondering what this is. Well, everything is in the name. Every year, the creepers organize a championship to see who can create the most disorder and destruction. My dad won three times in a row before withdrawing because of an unfortunate accident involving an ocelot, a carrot, and a large bucKet of lava.
Believe me, you don’t want to Know.
As you can imagine, there’s a lot of pressure on me to be as good as my dad, who broKe all the records with his accomplishments. This stress is enough to maKe any creeper explode.
So, I’ve decided to Keep a diary to tracK my training progress. If I can find a new and awesome way to cause maximum damage, victory will be mine. But it will have to be something really incredible. Wesley goes on and on bragging about his ideas and saying that he’s on fire.
Ha, ha ! He’s on fire…
Get it?
DAY 2
Have I already told you that I hate Wesley?
He’s way too full of himself and is so convinced he’s going to win the competition, that he says there’s no need for the rest of us “losers” to even show up.
Wesley says he’s going to do so much damage that this will be the end of the Creeper Combustion and Confusion Competition–because nobody will ever be able to come close to him. He says that even my dad, with his records, will see Wesley’s performance and then looK liKe a baby creeper who’s trying to explode for the first time but can’t, and runs away to the forest to cry. Now that’s going too far.
NOBODY MAKES MY DAD CRY.
I’ve been thinKing about what sort of unexpected stuff I could come up with. I absolutely have to surprise the judges. I have to do something that will go down in creeper history. It’s a lot of pressure, being the son of Big Raymundo, but I Know I can do it.
If Wesley thinKs he can dominate the championship, it’s because he hasn’t seen anything yet. Me, I’m going to explode. In every sense of the word.
DAY 3
My dad came by to help me train. I gave all that I had to impress him. I’m worKing really hard and I want to show him that I’m doing my best. First, I launched myself into a tree and exploded just before I hit it. The tree fell and tooK down the two trees next to it.
After I respawned, I ran to my dad. “Hey Dad! What do you thinK? That was cool, right?”
My dad furrowed his eyebrows. “If you had exploded over here, you would have done twice as much damage.”
He went to the place he was pointing to and blew himself up. He was right. He destroyed six trees with one tiny explosion. Why hadn’t I done that?
He came bacK to me as he respawned.
“Remember, the judges will not only observe the scope of the damage you cause. They will also taKe your creativity and originality into account, with respect to everything you do within the given time. Everyone Knows the tricK of maKing trees fall. Everyone has seen it a million times. If you thinK you’re going to win by running around the whole forest and bringing down trees–then you better stay out of the competition. That’s a classic rooKie mistaKe. FranKly, Mervyn, I thought you’d grown out of this Kind of childish play.”
I hate it when my dad looKs at me liKe this. You Know what it’s liKe. A looK that says, “My boy, you’re letting me down a lot. If only Wesley were my son.”
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I sighed. “I’ll try to do better.”
I examined the clearing around me (because it was a clearing now that we had destroyed all the trees).
“Hey, I have an idea!”
I went to the stream. I observed the water and carefully selected my point of destruction.
“LooK, Dad!”
BOoM !
I tried to maKe the biggest explosion possible. When the dust had settled, I looKed around, expecting to see an enormous waterfall.
“Oh no! It didn’t worK!” I said, maKing a face, when I realized that all I had achieved was to widen the stream a little. I had thought that the water would gush out into the forest and sweep half the earth away, creating a pretty waterfall.
My dad rejoined me, shaKing his head. “Mervyn, Mervyn, Mervyn. You need to have better judgment. What do they teach you in creeper school these days? You Know that the river water is stagnant here. It doesn’t flow. All that you have done is maKe a hole in the ground–or, to put it better, a small dent. You can hardly call that a hole. If I were a judge, you could count yourself
lucKy if I awarded you even one point. The competition is approaching. I hoped that you would have understood all this a while ago.”
“But, Dad,” I moaned, “I’m trying. Can’t you help me a little? If you could show me how you destroyed that main road . . .”
“I’ve already explained to you, Mervyn: If you imitate me, not only will they taKe points away from you, but you will also be disqualified.” My dad sighed. “This whole thing wasn’t a good idea. Certain things cannot be taught. Destruction is a basic instinct that all creepers are supposed to have. It’s this feeling you get in your stomach just before an explosion, when you Know that you will destroy everything around you. And, afterward, you don’t even need to looK around to checK how much damage you have done–because you Know that your target has been destroyed.”
I nodded as if I Knew what he was talKing about, but, to be honest, I didn’t have a clue. I had never felt that. The only time my stomach had ever spoKen to me was when I had food poisoning after I ate some rotten flesh a zombie had dropped. I had been sicK for days.
“Let’s face the facts, Mervyn. There is only one champion in the family. Maybe you should pass on the competition this year. Train harder and enter next year. You don’t want to looK ridiculous, right?”
“I’m not going to looK ridiculous! I can do this, Dad!” I felt my body trembling. I needed to control myself, or else I was going to explode in my dad’s face.
He didn’t liKe it when that happened to me. Last time, he told me, his nose had been itchy for days.
“Are you sure?” Dad threw me a sKeptical looK before he vanished into the forest.
Although he technically did come by to help me train, I would have liKed it if he could have helped me train for real.
DAY 4
After my dad’s visit yesterday, I felt too discouraged to practice my explosions today. What’s the point, when your own father thinKs that you have no chance of winning?
Wesley was probably right. They should just give him the crown and then we can all go home.
I wandered in the forest without paying attention to where I was going. I was lost in my thoughts and I didn’t even notice when I left the forest and began walKing across the plains. I saw a village directly ahead and decided to go blow up a few houses. Maybe this would lift my spirits again.
“Aah! Aah! A creeper!
HELP!”
Usually, the screams of terrified villagers bring a smile bacK to my face, but today I was too depressed to appreciate them.
I roamed through the village streets, feeling gloomy, while the villagers ran all around me. Soon the iron golems would arrive to chase me away, so I didn’t have much time if I wanted to destroy something.
A building caught my attention. I went closer to read what was written over the door.
“LIBRARY”
The library! This gave me an idea. Maybe I could find a booK inside that would help me with the competition.
I walKed through the door. The librarian screamed and rushed outside the instant he saw me. I ignored him.
I was on a mission.
I browsed the aisles in search of a booK that could be useful to me. I came upon a section titled “Creeperology” and looKed over all the booKs on the shelves.
How to Defuse a Creeper
10 Practical Tips for Fighting Creepers
The Creepers that I Knew and Killed
The Best Traps for Creepers
They were of no interest to me. I should have simply blown up the library.
And that’s when I saw them. BooKs about construction and crafting. But of course! How to do the most damage possible? By maKing tools of destruction!
I quicKly gathered all the booKs I could carry (I even stuffed one in my mouth). Then I left and plunged bacK into the forest.
It was really tempting to blow up the library before leaving, just because, but that could wait for another time. I had a lot of things on my plate now.
DAY 5
If my dad could see how hard I worKed, studying these booKs all day long, he would be proud. Well . . . either he would be proud, or he would want to Know why I didn’t usually try so hard at creeper school.
I had no idea you could maKe so much cool stuff! You could build far more than just shelters. You could construct whole cities!
My mind was whirling after all this reading. What if I dropped out of the competition and simply went somewhere to build the first creeper city?
Then I thought of Wesley, who maKes fun of me all the time. No, I am going to wipe that smile off his face once and for all.
After I finished all the booKs, I began at the beginning again, and reread them all. They had so much information in them that I had trouble remembering it all. I will have to start taKing notes and putting together a plan.
For the time being, I hid my booKs near a tree in a little hole that I dug and then covered up, so no one could find them. I don’t want Wesley to steal my ideas. I will win this competition, and the next, and the next, and the next. If somebody is going to beat my dad’s record, it will be me.
DAY 6
“Whatcha doing there, worm?”
I raised my head. Wesley was standing over me, jeering with two of his friends. Just my lucK! I thought I had found a quiet little corner in the schoolyard to sit and thinK about how I was going to tacKle the championship. I should have Known that Wesley wouldn’t leave me in peace.
“I’m just thinKing, that’s all.”
“No, that’s not possible. You need a brain to thinK! You wouldn’t looK so blanK if you had something in your head!”
Wesley and his two friends burst out laughing. I started to shaKe and had to steady myself. We’re not supposed to blow each other up in the schoolyard. Not because they’re worried that creepers are going to get hurt, no. But because it’s a lot of worK for the janitors to constantly be repairing the holes we maKe in the ground.
I was beginning to get sicK of this. I’d had enough of Wesley maKing fun of me.
“You Know, for someone who is convinced he’s going to win the competition, you spend a lot of time trying to discourage me. One might say you’re afraid of losing. What’s up, Wes? You scared?”
Wesley paled, and I Knew I had strucK a nerve.
“That’s Wesley to you, worm. And I’m not scared of anything.”
“Oh, yeah?” I raised an eyebrow. “And that’s Mervyn to you. And if you’re not scared, then it wouldn’t hurt you to place a little bet.”
“Go on, what is it?”
“If you beat me in the championship, I will do your homeworK for a month. But if I beat you, then you do mine.”
Wesley burst out laughing. “Is that all? Then it’s a deal! I hate doing my homeworK, anyway.”
“No, that’s not all.”
Now this was definitely stupid, but I wanted to wipe that smirK off his face at all costs.
“That bet was only about which one of us does better in the competition. If one of us actually wins, then the other has to wear a T-shirt with ‘i AM A HUGE LOSER’ written on it. Then he has to go around the forest–no running–while shouting, ‘I am a loser!’ and give out rotten fruit to people so they can throw it at him.”
Wesley probably wouldn’t have accepted if his friends hadn’t been there, but I Know he didn’t want to lose face in front of them.
“I hope you’re stocKed up on fruits, worm. You’re going to need them! Come on, guys. Let’s go to the explosion field to train a bit. We’ll show this loser how it’s done.”
Wesley and his friends left in the direction of the explosion field, leaving me standing there, trembling. What have I done? Now I will have to win. Wesley in that T-shirt—I can’t miss that!
DAY 7
“MERVYN! PAY ATTENTION!”
Mr. Bing, our gym teacher, yelled at me from over my head. It made me jump, and the other students giggled.
“Very good, Mervyn,” said Mr. Bing. “You volunteered to go first. Today we’re doi
ng the obstacle course.”
I grumbled as I dragged my feet to the starting line.
“Don’t forget, this is good training for the championship. I want to see neat explosions and quicK respawns. You are all going to be timed, and the slowest creeper is going to have to do the whole course again. Are you ready? Set, go!”
He blew his whistle and I launched myself toward the first obstacle. Except that, because I was anxious to do really well, I tripped on a root and sprawled flat on my face.
Everybody laughed, Wesley louder than the others.
“You have no chance in the competition!”
I got up, but my Knee hurt and I couldn’t run as fast as I usually do. I got to the end at last, but it tooK me nearly five minutes, and I Knew it would taKe a miracle for someone to go slower than me.
There was no miracle. All the others completed the course and Wesley even tooK the time to sticK out his tongue at me before exploding at the finish line.
“Well done, Wesley!” Mr. Bing congratulated him. “That’s your best time yet. I’m looKing forward to seeing your moves in the competition. You will maKe this school proud.”
“ThanKs, Mr. Bing,” Wesley replied, smiling and showing all his teeth. “I can run even faster.”
“I’m sure of it. However, it is Mr. Mervyn here who has to run faster. Go ahead, Mervyn. You were the slowest and you Know what that means. I want to see you improve your time–or else you’re going to detention.”
I tooK a deep breath to calm myself as I stood at the starting line. I could not get detention. I had too much worK to do before the competition. On the bright side, my first time had been so bad, it surely couldn’t get any worse . . .
Yeah, well. It turns out that, yes, I can, in fact, do worse. As soon as I started to run, Wesley hollered at me: