by K P Maxwell
Ty shakes his head roughly. “Nothing,” he says, and he turns back around, as if he’s going to head into the bedroom, just leave this whole mess unsaid, unconfronted. His back is turned to Damien, and his fists are clenched, and Damien can tell that it’s not nothing.
“Just say it,” Damien says, anger burning inside him. He throws his keys onto the counter with a loud clatter. “What are you implying?” he repeats.
Ty spins around to face him again, face dark with anger as well, jaw clenched. “You’ve slept with him, Damien,” Ty growls. “I can’t stop thinking about you two together.”
“I’ve slept with a lot of people!” Damien practically shouts at him, throwing his hands in the air. “And how did you even know that?”
It’s like he’s been waiting for this exact argument. Waiting for the pin to finally drop. It’s not like things were even going that well to begin with, but he’s had this feeling of uncertainly, ever since moving in here. Like there’s been something dark on the horizon that neither of them have been paying attention to.
“It’s obvious,” Ty nearly spits the words. “The way he talks to you. The way he looks at you.” His gaze is wild as he says the words, almost as if Damien can see the beast within him, wanting to break free and snarl. “And I overheard him at the gym.” Ty taps his ears. The wolf hearing, of course.
“It’s not like it’s some secret,” Damien says immediately, nearly choking on the words, but he shouldn’t even have to explain himself. “It was before I stopped taking clients. Kaz and Jake were both clients. I have had a lot of clients, Ty. You knew this before we started –” he waves his hand. “Whatever this is.”
Ty rubs his hands over his face, some of the anger leaving him. “Agh, I know,” he admits. “I asked Mel about it.” He has the decency to look guilty about that. Damien’s eyes widen. So Ty’s been asking Melanie about Damien’s private life behind Damien’s back. Just great. He can’t imagine Melanie would actually tell the other man anything, so he must have pieced it together somehow.
“So then what’s your problem?” Damien asks, arms crossed.
“It’s just that you still see each other all the time,” Ty says, and his voice is a lot softer now, almost hurt. “Sometimes you even smell like each other. Like today.”
Damien shakes his head, still pissed. “You can’t just do shit like this,” Damien says. “I know you’ve got the whole,” he gestures at Ty, “Alpha wolf, whatever, going on. But I only want to be with you now.”
Ty frowns at his wording, but Damien continues. “Again, I’ve slept with a lot of people. It was my job for years, Ty. You’re going to have to get over it.”
Ty stares at him a bit longer, holding the eye contact a beat too long, and then he nods. He looks away. “I know,” he says, and he doesn’t sound happy about it, but he also doesn’t sound angry anymore. If anything he looks tired. Defeated. A wolf with his tail between his legs now. “I am sorry,” he adds, much softer.
Damien walks closer to him, as if approaching a wild animal. Because in some sense, he thinks, maybe Ty is a wild animal. Damien doesn’t understand what it would be like. To be able smell other people on Ty. To know those people had touched him, taken him, tasted him. He remembers that moment in the café, all those weeks ago, when it seemed like Liam might be flirting with Ty. He remembers wanting to hurt the barista, even as innocent as the interaction was. Sometimes Damien thinks there’s something else at play in this relationship. Something more that Ty hasn’t admitted to.
Damien’s within arm’s reach of Ty now, and the air between them feels charged still. “You’ve ruined me for other people, anyways,” Damien says softly, and it’s the truth on so many levels.
Ty takes the bait, and he chuckles a little at Damien’s words. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, and he sounds like he really means it. He rubs a hand over his face. “Just – I guess I get jealous sometimes,” he mumbles, and Damien rolls his eyes. Jealous is one way to describe it, alright.
“Come here,” Damien says, already feeling a lot better at the apology. He makes grabby hands at Ty in a teasing gesture. “Why don’t you claim me, hmmm? Rub your scent all over me?”
Ty chokes out a laugh. “I’m not really some sort of animal,” he says, but Damien’s not so sure of that, and Ty doesn’t actually say no to the idea. In fact, he looks mildly interested. Damien files this away for later investigation. As much as he thought Ty being a wolf shifter wouldn’t change things, it obviously has some effect on their relationship, and Ty is oddly closed-lipped about the whole thing, as if he doesn’t want to impose on Damien. As if the wolf isn’t some integral part of him.
Damien’s not sure what hang-ups Ty has, but he doesn’t think tonight is the night to push them. Instead, he pulls Ty in for a hug, holding him close, hoping this will be enough. Whatever it is, surely they can work through it.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ty looks up from a pile of paperwork he’s been reading through, eyes bleary. When he sees the clock on the wall, he does a double take. Fuck. It’s past 8 already. The light filtering in through the floor to ceiling windows behind him is only just now edging towards sunset. It stays bright so late in the early summer in Portland that he didn’t think about it. And, Damien. He realizes with a shock that he’s missed having dinner yet again with Damien.
He stands up abruptly, his chair rolling backwards. He’s got to get back to the condo. Sometimes when he’s really focused on work, he half-forgets that the brat lives with him now, even though it’s been over a month.
His office is in a high rise downtown, and he didn’t even have any clients to meet with today, but he still comes in to work out of habit. He doesn’t have any employees who work in the office with him at the moment. He scared his assistant off a few months ago, and hasn’t bothered to replace him, and he mostly contracts out whatever else he needs. Lawyers. Accountant. Shipping coordinators. He frowns at himself as he shuts the lights off, setting the alarm.
Damien moving in with him is not turning out the way Ty wanted. First, Ty hadn’t considered the fact that he’s never actually home, and ever since Damien moved in, it’s been one thing after the next. A shipment got fucked up, and he had to deal with it personally. Some shifter drama. More shifter drama. Working late in the night, trying to get contracts ready. He’s worked too damn late every night this week already, staying at the office hours past dinner. Sometimes it’s already dark and at this time of the year, that’s late. Half the time, when he comes home, Damien’s already sleeping in the bed, and Ty hates having to crawl in next to him, knowing Damien has to get up early the next morning to go to the café.
He’s a terrible boyfriend. Boyfriend? Is that what they are? That’s another thing. They haven’t even qualified it, and Damien’s still spending so much time at the café. With that cat.
Ty regrets blowing up at him over it, but his wolf is still not very happy about that damn cat. He tries to calm the wolf with reason, rationality, but it growls deep inside him, wanting blood. The wolf feels hurt, confused. Why is his mate covered in some other shifter’s scent all of the time? Ty doesn’t know what to do about it. He doesn’t want to pressure Damien into this whole shifter thing. He’s tried to keep Damien out of it as much as possible, but the wolf keeps rising to the surface at the worst times.
Damien’s obviously pissed when Ty finally gets home. Damien is sitting on the couch with his laptop, watching some sort of trashy reality TV show that drives Ty nuts, and he doesn’t even look up at Ty when Ty walks in.
Ty has to admit, that pisses him off a little bit, and he tosses his keys into the bowl on the hallway table angrily with a clatter. Damien finally looks up at him, frowning, and Ty wants to apologize for yet again staying too late at work, but instead he says nothing. He feels… helpless, maybe. His wolf is pacing and whining, wanting to crawl in and beg for forgiveness, but Damien doesn’t look like he’s in a forgiving mood.
Ty thinks Damien’s been less… somethin
g with him, lately. Ever since Ty blew up about Kaz. It’s almost like the hosting mask is slipping back on again, keeping Ty at a careful distance.
Ty runs his hand across the back of his head, and he feels like slamming a fist into the wall just thinking about it. Which is... something he did regretfully often before Damien moved in. He’s had to be careful, especially now that he’s an adult. When he was still a pup, he punched through one once, and his mother was so mad at him. He feels his fists clenching, wishing there was a gym at the bottom of his building. Instead he’ll have to jog to the 24/7 gym if he wants to work this out.
His sessions with Damien, actually, used to take the edge off of his frustrations really well, but look at where that’s gotten him.
“I’m going to hit the gym,” Ty says, deciding that he’s going to have to if he’s going to be able to sleep at all tonight, and Damien looks up, shocked.
“You, what?” Damien asks, and Ty doesn’t really like the tone in his voice, but he thinks he probably deserves it.
“You heard me,” Ty says, and Damien shakes his head, as if Ty completely baffles him.
Ty’s not sure he even understands himself. He starts unbuckling his pants on his way to the bedroom to change. Damien follows him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Damien asks, and Ty doesn’t even look back at him. He can feel that Damien is still standing in the doorway, staring at him. He can’t explain it. He’s been feeling completely irrational about this whole thing lately. His wolf is constantly upset, begging to be noticed. He steps out of his slacks, throwing them onto the floor and grabbing a pair of gym shorts.
Having Damien here is driving him just as crazy as when Damien lived at the café. Just now it’s in a different way. He’s starting to think that he can’t ever give Damien what he wants, what he deserves. He starts unbuttoning his dress shirt as well, nearly ripping one of the buttons off.
And of course, part of the problem is that he’s still hiding it all from Damien, because he’s a goddamn idiot.
He hears Damien sigh, and part of him wishes that Damien would blow up at him. Show him that vicious side again. He feels like he needs a good fight. Maybe if they could just yell at each other a little bit, they could work things out –
But when he turns around, Damien’s already gone. Ty hears the shower turn on. He frowns. He should apologize, he thinks. His wolf’s tail is between his legs. This whole thing should have started with an apology. Why is he fighting himself so much on this?
He stalks over to the bathroom angrily. He’s angry at himself. Angry at this thing inside him that’s making him feel irrational. He takes a deep breath, and knocks on the door with as much restraint as he can muster.
“Go away,” Damien says, and he’s obviously not in the shower, because his voice is too close to the door.
Ty turns the door handle, and as he opens the door, Damien loses his balance falling backward onto Ty’s legs. Ah, so apparently Damien was slumped against the door. Crying.
Ty kneels down next to him, aghast. That he did this to Damien. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen the other man cry before, and he feels awful about it.
“Come here,” he says, and he pulls Damien against him, even though the other man is pushing him away.
“I don’t like you very much right now,” Damien says, his voice wet, and Ty sighs, settling down onto the floor and pressing the other man’s head against his chest.
“That’s okay,” Ty says, stroking his hair. “I deserve it.”
Damien nods, and Ty can feel tears soaking through his undershirt, which he still has on from earlier. Ty bends down, pressing his lips against the top of Damien’s head. He wishes he could tell Damien everything. That the wolf inside him wants to keep him. In irrevocable, impossibly permanent ways. That Ty, the man, wants to hold Damien tight and never let go. Til death do they part, and all that shit. But Ty feels like he just can’t do that to Damien. It’s too much. It’s not fair, especially not like this.
“I’m sorry,” Ty whispers instead. He’s not sure if Damien can hear it over the sound of the shower, but Damien nods again, so Ty thinks he must have. He rubs Damien’s back.
“I’m making this even harder on you, aren’t I?” he asks, and Damien sits up. His eyes are rimmed with red already and bloodshot besides.
“You’re never here,” Damien complains. He looks so hurt. “And I know I’ve been spending more time at the café, but I’m – I’m lonely.” More tears are sliding down his face, and Ty reaches out a hand to wipe his cheek.
“Hey,” Ty says, “Mel would take you back, you know. If you want to.”
Damien nods, and something pierces Ty’s heart at that. His Damien wants to leave him, and Ty can’t blame him one bit.
“You want to?” he asks, clearing his throat. “Move back that is?”
Damien nods again, looking away. “I think so,” he whispers. “Just for now. I’m sorry,” he adds, and Ty shakes his head.
“It’s okay, Damien,” Ty says. “We’ll figure it out, okay? It’s not your fault. I’ve been a complete jerk.”
Damien laughs a little at that, obviously agreeing. Ty pulls the other man against himself again, and his wolf is howling, but he ignores it.
“In the morning?” he asks Damien. “Or whenever you want. I’ll call Mel and figure the whole thing out for you, okay?”
Damien shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he says. “My head’s all messed up right now. I just need time to think.”
Ty nods, mouth twisting into a frown. “Alright,” Ty says, and he feels heartbroken. “Let’s go.”
“Now?” Damien asks.
“Yeah, let’s do this. Grab what you need,” Ty reluctantly lets Damien go.
Damien nods, sniffing. “I’m sorry,” he says, again.
Ty runs a hand through Damien’s hair again, brushing his fingers along the other man’s jaw.
“Just come back to me, okay?” he says, but Ty doesn’t actually think Damien will come back. He’s not sure why Damien would, if he’s honest. Ty hasn’t given him anything good to come back to.
Ty feels like he’s been living in a fairy tale, and he needs to wake up to the real world.
“You get some stuff together, and I’ll call Mel,” Ty says. Damien nods, standing up to head back into the bedroom.
Ty still has that urge to punch something, to put his fist through the tiles of the bathroom wall, to see himself bleed for hurting Damien this way, but he looks down at his clenched fist, and he forces himself to relax it instead. One step at a time. He’ll call Melanie. Get the brat all sorted out and back where he belongs. Because it’s obvious he doesn’t belong with Ty, no matter what the wolf thinks. None of this was bound to work out in the first place.
Ty walks out into the living room area and dials Melanie’s number on his cell phone, hoping she’s still awake tonight. She picks up on the second ring. “Yes?” she asks, skipping the formalities.
“Mel, I fucked up,” Ty says, getting straight to the point. “He’s leaving. He wants to go back to you. You’ll take him back, right?”
Mel is quiet on the other end of the line, and when her voice comes, it’s cold.
“What did you do.” She asks it, but it’s not really a question.
“Just… didn’t pay enough attention to him, I don’t know, Mel. He wants some time apart,” Ty rubs his hands against his head. He needs to trim it again. His business has been so busy the past few weeks. Poor Damien.
“Alright,” Mel says, and there’s still steel in her voice. “So I don’t have to dispose of any bodies today. Good.” And the scariest part is that she’s not even joking. He thinks she would, if he ever really hurt Damien. If anyone ever hurt one of her boys.
There’s silence on the other end of the line for a long moment, and Ty waits. He hears a heavy sigh.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Bring him back,” Mel says, and there’s a beep of the call disconnecting.
Damie
n comes out of the bedroom not too long after, a duffle slung over his shoulder. Ty wonders what he’s bringing with him. There’s still so much of Damien here, he thinks.
“You ready?” Ty asks, voice gruff. As much as this is ripping him apart, he has to do it if it’s what Damien truly wants. Time apart. The wolf in him is howling again.
Damien nods, looking cautious, eyes still rimmed with red. Ty turns around, because he can’t look at the other man when he knows he’s the cause of that sad face. “Alright,” Ty says. “Let’s go.”
Ty opens the door, feeling like he’s making the biggest mistake of his life, letting Damien go like this. But what else can he do? He puts one foot in front of the other and starts walking.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The car ride back to the café is silent. Damien stares out the window, watching the late night version of downtown Portland go by. The streets are nearly empty. Ty drops him off at the side of the building, a pained look on his face. “See you later,” he grunts. Damien nods at him as he pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat of the car. He swipes into the building with his keycard, and when he turns to look behind him, Ty’s still there, watching him as he goes into the building. Damien shivers, and it’s not from the temperature.
Melanie’s in her office, waiting for him. She looks up at him from her never-ending stack of papers. Damien sets his duffle bag down on the floor. He’s not sure what to expect with this discussion. He really hopes he doesn’t start crying again. He sees a flash of something like sympathy cross Melanie’s face briefly, before she crushes it.
“Buck up,” Melanie says, the tone flippant and completely wrong for this situation. “I mean, I’m sorry for your marital problems, but Ty’ll come crawling back to apologize for whatever he did any time now, and in the meantime, you can help look for the new person.”