by Romy Sommer
The service is conducted in a mix of Erdélian, German and English. The church is surprisingly full, considering how many people Nick pissed off before he died. There are school friends and polo
friends, prominent local citizens, even a few of Nick’s ex-girlfriends. The entire family is there, aunts and uncles, extended cousins, including those from other royal families, and including Sonja’s Danish relatives. Max and Phoenix are here too, though I’m doing my best to avoid them. I don’t think I can look Phoenix in the eyes.
But I’ve made peace with Kenzie, at least. She and Rik aren’t here today. Their baby boy
was born just a couple of days ago. They’re calling him Nicholas Charles. Another Nick. Hopefully with a brighter future ahead of him than his namesakes.
I realise now that I took my anger at myself out on her. I never truly thought she could have
done things any differently. It feels good to apologise. I also apologised to Kenzie because the one person I need to apologise to most of all isn’t here. She’s on the other side of the world.
Romy Sommer
253
Lajos and Sonja sit alone in the front row, in the royal pew. His shoulders slump, and her
eyes are glazed. Her calm seems brittle, and I expect she’s taken another sedative to get through this ordeal.
My family sit in the row behind Lajos and Sonja. My parents, Jemima, me. Mátyás, with his
mother and his new fiancée, a Belgian countess. They announced their engagement only a few days ago. I have no doubt the sudden betrothal was brought on by news of my visit to Erdély. He’s
hoping to out-manoeuvre me, hoping that if he appears to be settled and stable, with the right kind of wife, then Uncle Lajos will announce him as the heir.
The press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. I still haven’t given Lajos my final
decision.
I believed my decision was made, but I can’t seem to bring myself to say the words.
The priest instructs us to stand to pray. I rise with everyone else, but don’t hear the words of the prayer. I hear Khara’s voice in my head. Men like you don’t marry women like me. You screw women like me, but when you marry, you choose women from your own social circle.
Until I met Khara, I assumed I would live and die alone. The thought of marriage never even
crossed my mind. But in the week since I watched her walk away, I’ve been thinking about it rather a lot. What would it be like to have a partnership like Max and Phoenix’s? Or my parents? Not a marriage to score points or to be dutiful, but because you simply cannot live without the other person.
I can live without Khara. I can get through the day, I can go to work, I can eat and sleep and breathe.
But if I thought my life was empty and meaningless before I met her, it’s even more so now.
Because now I know what I’m missing. She put a face and a name to my dissatisfaction.
I can live without her, because I have to. I’ve already hurt her enough for one lifetime, and I won’t hurt her again.
Romy Sommer
254
In the pew in front of us, my uncle reaches out to take his wife’s hand. For the first time
since I heard the news of Nick’s death, tears prick my eyes. They look so small, so alone, just the two of them. Glancing sideways at Jemmy, I see she’s noticed too. She brushes the corner of her eye.
Around us, everyone’s heads are bowed in prayer. Before I can re-consider, I slip past
Jemmy, out of our pew. Her eyes go wide.
I step into the front pew, to stand beside my aunt. Lajos turns to look at me, and smiles.
The prayer ends, the organ starts to play, and the priest waves for us all to sit.
I’ve sealed my fate. By moving to sit in the royal pew, I’ve announced my decision.
#
When the ceremony is over, I stand beside my aunt and uncle on the church steps while
everyone files past. Sonja is too distraught to speak, and Lajos’ responses to the well-wishers are perfunctory, so it’s left to me to shake hands and thank everyone for coming. My first duty as the new heir.
The royal mausoleum, where Nick’s ashes are to be interred, is on the castle property. The
procession of cars winds its way out of town and up to the castle, where a buffet has been laid out in the Great Hall. Mindful of the occasion, I avoid being drawn into questions of the succession, but when Yannik and Lena come to take their leave, he grasps my hand. “Thank you,” is all he says.
It’s good to know I have an ally in the Prime Minister, because I suspect that “shit is about
to get real” as Khara would no doubt say. What the hell have I just committed myself to?
Hard as I try, I can’t avoid Max and Phoenix forever. But I decide that offence is the best
form of defence. “Did your bet also cover how long we’d last?”
Max looks contrite, but Phoenix is less easy to manipulate. “You’re an idiot,” she says.
“I think the preferred term is ‘douche’.”
She doesn’t smile. “Do you have any idea how good you and Khara are together? She brings
out the best in you.”
Romy Sommer
255
“She’s the one who left.”
“And you don’t have a passport, or the funds to travel anywhere in the world to go after
her?”
“If I cross the ocean for a booty call, I’d only be proving to her yet again how selfish and
entitled I am.”
“Firstly, it’s not a booty call if you’re trying to win back the love of your life, and secondly, what have you got to lose?”
“Is she this mean to you too?” I ask Max.
He smiles. “All the time. Why do you think I married her?”
With a sigh, I answer Phoenix. “I am not such a dick that I’ll force myself on someone who
has already made it abundantly clear she doesn’t want me. She has a plan for her life, and it doesn’t include me.”
She rolls her eyes in a very non-Archduchessy way. “That’s because she doesn’t yet know
what she really wants. If you’d been paying any attention, you’d have noticed that you bring out the best in her too. You were supposed to show her that her grand plan sucks. She’s settling, when she deserves so much more.”
I agree that Khara is capable of so much more than she realises. But I also think she
deserves better.
#
The wake seems interminable, but at last it’s only the immediate family left. We retire to the library where the pre-dinner drinks have been set out. Mátyás is already there, and he’s already clearly a drink ahead of us. The ice in his glass rattles as he rounds on me. “How dare you! Did you seriously think you could just force yourself into the succession like that?”
Lajos shuts the door with a snick, preventing our voices from reaching the servants cleaning
up in the hall beyond. “I invited him.”
Romy Sommer
256
Since Mátyás can hardly argue with that, he flings himself over to the drinks cabinet to re-
fill his glass. His mother, dignified as always, her back ramrod straight and her chin high, does not give up so easily. “I am the oldest. It should be my son.”
“Our constitution enables me to choose the best successor from among my male relations,
and I have done so.”
“Mátyás speaks the language.”
“And Adam will learn it. As he has already studied our laws and our finances.”
“You don’t mind him bringing his slappers into this castle?” Mátyás asks.
I’m not sure who moves quicker, Lajos or me. He’s no longer a grieving father but the Fürst
of Erdély, a respected statesman. He pulls himself up to his full height, and even I check when he stops me with a hand on my arm. He speaks calmly and quietly, but his words
ring around the
room. Or maybe they just ring for me. “Khara Thomas was my guest in this house, and will be
accorded the same respect as any other guest. She will also always be welcome in my home,
whether or not Adam has the sense to bring her back here.”
“But she’s a waitress, ” protests Mátyás’ mother.
“So what? But if you really can’t get past the outdated class divide, then consider this: less than 5% of the citizens of this country have aristocratic blood. The other 95% of the electorate, the ones with the power to turn this country into a republic if they feel we are obsolete, are people just like Khara. They respect her far more than they respect this family. Right now, I think I do too.”
The tension in the air reverberates like a plucked guitar string.
Then Jemmy speaks into the fraught silence. “Remember that time when my cat died and I
was so devastated, and Nick spent the whole afternoon playing dolls with me so I wouldn’t cry?”
My mother giggles. Clearly she remembers. I do too. I remember him playing dolls and then
threatening to break my arm if I told anyone at school.
“And remember the time he dressed as Santa’s elf to sing carols to us all on Christmas
Eve?”
Romy Sommer
257
I laugh at the memory. Admittedly, we were both pretty drunk at the time.
The tension dissipates.
Just as Aunt Sonja said, we have a lot of good memories of Nick. Half an hour later, we’re
still sharing “remember when” stories, and I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Even Mátyás is laughing, though I know it’s going to take a long time before he’ll be civil to me again.
My father moves to sit beside me on the couch. “As usual, your mother was right,” he says
quietly.
I cock a questioning eyebrow at him.
“She told me you were bored in your job and needed a bigger challenge. I have to admit, I
didn’t think you’d want the responsibility, but I’m very proud of you for stepping up today.”
Though we’re not a family that hugs, I put my arm around him and squeeze his shoulders.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“So when do we get to meet this paragon you’re seeing?”
“You don’t. She broke up with me.”
This time it’s his eyebrow that rises. “There’s a first time for everything. What happened?”
“She thinks I’m arrogant, entitled and self-centred.”
“Then don’t be that guy.”
I laugh. He makes it sound so simple. But late that night, trying to fall asleep in the same
bed I shared with Khara, I start to wonder what it would take to change her mind.
Romy Sommer
258
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Adam
One month later…
“Will wonders never cease?” Jemmy leans up against the frame of my office door. “It’s not
even noon yet and you’re at your desk.”
“Haha. I might skive off from work occasionally, but I do actually earn my paycheque.
Speaking of which, I have to leave soon for a meeting with a potential corporate investor and I need to prepare.” I make a shooing gesture for her to leave.
Instead, she slips inside and shuts the door. “You’ll be fine. You’ll just switch on the charm and win them over, like always.”
“I’m hurt that you think that’s all I’m good for.” I bend forward over the printed spreadsheets and reports on my desk, hoping she’ll take the hint.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks, Sis. I love you too.”
“Are you getting any sleep?”
“Enough.” She knows I’m lying, but for once she doesn’t call me on it.
“As much as I love your newfound dedication to your desk, when do I need to start looking
for a replacement for you?”
Romy Sommer
259
“And now you’re trying to get rid of me. Your sisterly love knows no bounds.” I push myself
back from my desk to look at her. “As long as I can get to Erdély a couple of times a month for meetings or official events, you’re stuck with me a while longer.” Eventually, I’ll need to move to Arenberg full-time, when Lajos is older and I need to take over more of his duties, but for now he’s happy for me to carry on living and working in London. That’s already more than Nick did.
“I’m not worried about whether Erdély needs more of your time. I’m worried about you. With everything you’ve got going on, all you do is work. You need to have a life outside of work.”
I work because as long as I keep busy I don’t have time to think. How is it possible to miss
someone so much when you only knew them a few short weeks?
“I never thought I’d see the day you lecture me about working too hard. Since when do you
have a life outside this office?”
Jemmy looks smug. “Actually, I have a date tonight.”
“Who’s the unlucky guy?”
“Your new language tutor.”
I groan. “Please don’t scare him off. I need him.”
“I don’t try to scare guys off. It’s just so hard to find a man who isn’t intimidated by a confident, successful trust fund baby. Well, unless they’re after the trust fund, of course. Then you can’t get rid of them.”
“Are you just trying to annoy me, or is there a reason you’re preventing me from getting any
work done?”
“Mother asked me to speak to you. She was in Westerwald yesterday for a meeting of the
ballet trustees, and she had lunch with Phoenix.”
“Oh?” I try not to sound too interested.
“Apparently Khara is seeing someone.”
The hum of the laptop fan is loud in the sudden silence. I loosen the tie constricting my neck and remind myself to breathe. “I’m happy for her.” My mouth is dry. I reach for the half cup of cold
Romy Sommer
260
coffee on my desk and gulp it down. It tastes awful.
“Liar,” Jemmy says.
It’s possible to be happy for someone else and utterly devastated for yourself at the time, I
discover.
Jemmy leans forward. “So are you going after her?”
I assemble the papers in front of me into a neat pile. “You’ve just told me she’s dating
someone else.”
“Exactly. If you don’t hurry, you’re going to lose her forever.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say that I’ve already lost her, but I don’t say the words. Is there a chance I could still win her back? And who is this guy she’s dating - is he good enough for her?
“Was that the whole message from Mother, or was there more?”
“She also said she wants you to come for Sunday lunch, if you can squeeze us into your
hectic schedule.” Jemmy rises to leave, but pauses with her hand on the doorknob. “I’m proud of you. I think you’re finally doing something that truly challenges you, and something that’s
worthwhile. But you’re still living a half-life. It still feels as if you’re just going through the motions. You need to figure out what makes you feel whole and happy, and you need to go after it.
And if that thing is Khara, then you need to do it soon, before it’s too late.”
For a long while after she leaves, I sit and stare out the floor-to-ceiling glass window at the constant motion on the street below.
I can remember very clearly the first time I ever felt truly whole and happy. When I felt a
sense of completion I’d never known before. It was that moment in the crowded drawing room of
the palace in Neustadt, before the paediatric hospital dinner, when I wrapped my arms around
Khara to make Elena go away.
Rubbing the back of my neck where yet another tension headache is forming, I rise and gather
the papers off my desk. I’m going to be late for the meeting, and I haven’t read through all the
Romy Sommer
261
statistics, which means I’m going to have to do what I always do: switch on the charm and hope for the best.
Romy Sommer
262
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Khara
I park the car and switch off the engine. Since the doctor’s Lexus is parked beside the trailer, he and Mom clearly haven’t left for their date yet. They’ll be late for their dinner reservation if they don’t leave soon, and it’s not a reservation they want to miss. Gavin let slip to me that he’s booked a table at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant. There’s only one reason for a big splurge like that - their dinner proposal package.
I pray that this time Mom doesn’t let a good thing go. Not only does Dr Gavin Chen have a
solid job and a house in the suburbs, but he’s a widower who was married to his late wife for twenty five years, which suggests he’s not her usual love-em-and-leave-em type. He also has two daughters a few years younger than me. I always wanted a sister and if I get lucky I might soon have two.
Three if Calvin ever gets around to marrying his baby mama.
But I’ve bought both champagne and Ben & Jerry’s, so we’re covered whatever answer she
gives him.
Though if she turns him down, she’ll probably be unemployed again too.
Thank heavens I have a job at least. The construction company where Isaiah works had an
opening, so I finally have a desk job in an office with windows and natural light. I also only see the same three people all day every day. Who knew I’d miss the hustle and variety of the casino floor?
Romy Sommer
263