by SJ McCoy
She laughed. “I’m glad you understand, but I don’t. Can you run that one by me again and explain this time?”
“Sorry. I mean, I set myself a goal a long time ago, to make a lot of money. I met that goal but never stopped to see if I needed a new one. I just kept going after more, because that was what I did. It was what I knew. I didn’t need more money. I needed to be busy and to feel like I was achieving. I forgot that other things in life were more important—and I forgot that other people didn’t see money or the ability to make it in the same way I did.”
“And now you get it?”
“I do. I don’t need to make another penny in my life if I don’t want to. I can spend as much as I want and not make a dent.” He shrugged. “And I don’t need to hide anymore, from anything.”
“I was wondering about that. How do you feel about seeing your brother?”
“I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to introducing you to him and to Jean.”
“I know, but I mean, all the things you were hiding from—the main thing. You didn’t want to be around Johnny and Jean because they had what you lost.” She wondered whether this was a good idea now that she’d started it, but she wanted to know. “You threw yourself into your work so that you didn’t have to face your life without Kate. You don’t just wake up one day and decide you’re over that.”
His chin jerked up, and he met her gaze.
The silence drew out so long, she wondered if he was going to answer.
Eventually, he nodded. “I won’t ever get over that. I loved her so much. She was a wonderful person. It broke my heart to lose her. I’ll always love her.” He reached across and took hold of Chris’s hand. “But avoiding my family, throwing myself into work, focusing on making money, I understand now what it was all about.”
She waited.
“You told me I was escaping from reality. I was. I was escaping from my own life because I didn’t want a life without her in it.”
She squeezed his hand, wishing she could say something that could ease the pain of loss. She knew she couldn’t.
“I’ve lived without her for twenty years. I’ve had a life all that time. It’s just that I didn’t want to be in my life. Now I do. I want to live my life with you. You’ve shown me what’s important. Love, family, friends. I want to be present to enjoy them. And I want to share my life with you.”
Tears pricked behind Chris’s eyes. “I want to share mine with you, too.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do.”
“I wasn’t sure. I know you want me in your life, but that’s different from sharing it. Don’t you think?”
She cocked her head to one side.
“Maybe I’m too old school, but to me, when a man and a woman share their life, there’s a word for it.”
“What’s the word?”
He smiled. “Marriage.”
“Oh!” Her heart raced. She loved him, she believed that he loved her, but she didn’t think that necessarily led to marriage. Not at their age.
His eyes were that deep green as he looked into hers. “I don’t know if you feel the same way. I didn’t want to spring it on you out of the blue. That’s why I’m telling you how I feel now, to give you time to consider whether that’s what you want.”
She nodded. She didn’t know what to say. To her mind, they were setting things up in an ideal way. He still got to live his life; she still got to live hers. She didn’t associate being married with that kind of freedom—or understanding.
There was a touch of sadness in his eyes. “It’s not something you’d consider?”
She leaned forward in her seat and cupped his cheek in her hand. “I’d like to. I need some time to think about it. What we’ve been talking about up until now doesn’t sound like marriage to me.”
“It doesn’t?”
“No. We were talking about more freedom and more independence.”
He smiled. “You don’t think you can have those in a marriage?”
“Not in my experience.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing here, though? Creating a new experience. Reframing things to be how we want them to be, instead of what we thought they were supposed to be.”
She nodded slowly. “I guess.”
He leaned closer and kissed her. “Take your time. If it’s not what you want, I’ll understand. I’ll be with you on any terms you want me. But I need you to know, you have my heart, you have my mind—married or not. Maybe it is just that old-school part of me, but marriage means something. It’s not about obligation or owning each other. It’s about committing to being a partnership.”
Chris turned to look out the window again. She should be over the moon. Part of her was. Part of her was cautious—scared of something, but of what, she didn’t know.
~ ~ ~
When they got to the house, Seymour parked the car in the garage and looked over at Chris. He wondered if he’d blown it, bringing up the possibility of them getting married. He knew she valued her independence. He didn’t want to take that away from her. He didn’t want to lose his own, but to him, marriage wasn’t about giving anything up. It was about solidifying what you had.
He got out of the car, and she met him at the trunk.
“Is it strange for you to have to get your own bag?”
He smiled. “I was used to having someone to do it for me. But I don’t need it. I don’t miss it. It was part of that life that I don’t want anymore.”
She smiled back at him. “You really don’t want it, do you?”
“No. I fell into it because it was what people do.” He shrugged. “I’m not going to apologize for it.”
Her eyes widened. “I wasn’t asking you to. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m not judging.”
He put his arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I know. I think we both need to relax. I feel like I screwed things up with what I talked about earlier. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. Can we just enjoy our time here? I wanted it to be like a little vacation with just the two of us.”
She smiled. “Let’s do that. I’m sorry. Come on.” She took her bag from him and headed to the door that led into the kitchen. “I have my swimsuit in here, and I’m going to go put it on and then go wait for you to bring me a cocktail at the pool.”
He smiled to himself as he let them in, and she trotted up the stairs to go change. That was one of the many things he loved about her. She was so willing to drop anything negative and move past it to find something good.
Chapter Nineteen
Chris looked around in awe as she stepped out of the limo. This was like one of those movie premiers—complete with red carpet and everything.
Seymour came around and took her arm. “Are you okay?”
“I am. I didn’t know it was going to be like this.”
He chuckled. “I did warn you to wear your best frock.”
She laughed. “I know, and I was worried that I might be overdressed.” She looked at the people milling around them. The men were all dressed in tuxes, the women wore evening gowns and diamonds. She turned back to Seymour. “If just a few of them donated their necklaces, you could end poverty.”
He laughed out loud at that. “You’re right. I’ve never understood why people spend so much to attend these charity dinners. I mean, the proceeds from the ticket sales are one thing, but the clothes and the limos.”
Chris nodded. “You should organize one where everyone has to come in jeans and walk, bike, or drive themselves to get there—and then they can donate all the money they didn’t spend on those things.”
He put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her into his side. “You’re a genius, Chris. That’s exactly what we should do. It’d bring in so much more than this kind of event does.”
She shrugged. “I’m not a genius. Anyone with a drop of common sense could have told you that.”
He met her gaze, and she laughed. “I’m not telling you t
hat you don’t have any common sense.”
He smiled through pursed lips. “Just that, like the people here tonight, I have more money than sense?”
She shook her head and made big innocent eyes at him. “I didn’t say that.”
He laughed. “Not in so many words, but you’re right. I need you to keep me straight.”
“Seymour!”
They’d made their way up the stairs to the entrance now. Just inside, a man was waving at them. He had to be Seymour’s brother; he looked just like him.
“Are you ready to meet Johnny and Jean?”
She nodded. She was, but she was less excited than she had been. If they were the kind of people who came to events like this, she was starting to wonder how much she’d have to talk to them about. It was one thing to tease Seymour about having more money than sense—
“Chris!”
As they walked through the doors, the woman sprang forward to greet her.
Chris smiled. “You must be Jean?”
The woman nodded. “I’ve been dying to meet you. Do you want to get a drink? We can meet these guys at the table.”
“Hey!” Her husband gave Jean a mock frown before turning to Chris. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, too.” He held his hand out. “It’s an honor and a pleasure. I’m Johnny.”
Chris liked him immediately as she shook with him. He had a warm smile and a twinkle in his eyes.
“It’s lovely to meet you.”
He winked at her. “We’ll talk at the table later. We’ll be sitting with you. I only come to these godawful things if Seymour sits with us. That way we get to catch up with him and don’t have to make small talk with all of them.”
Chris had to laugh at the face he made as he gestured at the milling crowd of beautiful people.
Jean slipped her arm through Chris’s. “Come on. We can get a drink at the quiet bar at the back.”
Chris shot a look at Seymour, wondering how he felt about her leaving him the moment they arrived.
He took her by surprise when he cupped her cheek in his hand a landed a kiss on her lips. “Don’t worry; Jean will take good care of you, and look at her—not a diamond in sight.”
Chris laughed and looked at Jean. He was right. she wore no diamonds, but she was wearing a shocked expression. It matched her husband’s as they both stared at Seymour. Chris guessed that they were even more surprised by his public display of affection than she’d been.
Jean tugged at her arm, and they walked away into the crowd. Chris looked back and smiled when she saw Seymour and Johnny watching them. Seymour held her gaze for a moment, and then Johnny said something to him. He answered, without looking away from her.
“He’s a good man.” Jean’s words brought her back. She shot Seymour one last smile before they disappeared in the crowd, then turned to Jean.
“He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”
Jean smiled. “He’s not perfect.”
That made Chris laugh. “Who is? I know I’m not.”
“And neither am I. I’m not trying to put you off. I was just testing to see if you know what you’re letting yourself in for.”
“I know enough.”
“That’s good. He really is a good man. He’s been lost for a long time. Maybe you can help him find himself.”
“I think what we’re doing is walking beside each other while we find ourselves.”
“Oh. You’re a wise one. I like you already. We’re going to get along just fine.”
Chris smiled. She already liked Jean, too.
They took a seat at the quiet bar away from the main dining room where all the tables were set up.
Chris took a sip of her drink and looked at Jean. “So, is this kind of thing normal for you?”
Jean made a face. “You mean getting dressed up and spending the evening with a bunch of people who are mostly here to see and be seen? Who donate because it’s good for their image and good for their tax return?” She let out a little laugh. “It’s more normal than I’d like. Seymour does this one every year, and there are a couple of others that we’re involved with, so we have to show our faces.”
Chris liked her even more.
“Honestly, I’d rather be at home in Montana, making my own soup and sitting in front of the fire reading.”
“That sounds more like my idea of fun.”
“You should come up there. It’s beautiful.”
“I’d like to see Montana, but I think it’ll be a while before Seymour invites me—if he ever does.”
Jean nodded sadly. “I realized that as soon as I said it. I have high hopes. You’re the first woman he’s introduced me to in all these years. I mean, he’s brought dates to these things but never someone he was seeing.”
“Oh.”
“He’s serious about you. Johnny knew it when they talked on the phone—and if there was any doubt that he wanted the world to know about the two of you, it went up in smoke when he kissed you back there.”
“He surprised me with that. He’s normally more reserved in public.”
Jean laughed. “But not in private?”
Chris tried not to look embarrassed, but she couldn’t help laughing.
“I’m sorry. You’ll get used to me. I don’t know how to be fake and polite. I’d rather laugh and be real.”
Chris grinned at her. “Then we’re going to get along great.”
“It’s a good thing,” said Jean, “since I get the feeling that we’re going to know each other for the rest of our lives.”
Chris liked the idea of that, but she didn’t know what to say.
~ ~ ~
Seymour and Johnny made their way through the crowd, stopping here and there to greet people. When they finally reached the table, Johnny swiped two glasses from a tray a waiter brought by.
Seymour took one and raised it to his brother. “Here’s to getting this out of the way for another year.”
Johnny laughed. “Anyone would think you didn’t enjoy it.”
“They’d be right. I’ve told Clay and Oscar many a time; they’re the main attraction. I’d rather stay in the background and work the numbers.”
Johnny gave him a stern look. “You’re just as much of an attraction as they are. And I don’t just mean in terms of putting your name on it. You know as well as I do that women are the biggest donors. They enjoy coming and flirting with Clay and Oscar—but you have just as much of a draw—if not more so. Although, I’m sure there are going to be lots of disappointed ladies here this evening. Was that kiss you gave Chris for her benefit or everyone else’s?”
Seymour smiled. “Honestly? It was for my benefit. She just …” He shrugged and gave his brother a rueful smile. “She brings it out of me. I don’t want to hold back, and I don’t care who’s watching. I’m tired of the way I’ve been living life—or more honestly, not living it.”
Johnny nodded. “I didn’t know if you’d ever get there.”
“I didn’t think I would, but being with Chris has changed everything. I’m tired of hiding from life. Now, I want to make the most of every moment and experience the joy of being alive.”
“And you think living in that small town with her is the way to do that?”
Seymour nodded adamantly. “I do. I know it is. The only other place I’d want to be is in the valley—close to Hope and to you guys. But …”
“But you don’t know how you’ll feel if you take her to the house?”
“Yes. It took me until a couple of years ago before I could face being there myself. That house was so full of Kate, so full of love. I don’t know.”
“Is it something you need to know? Does it matter? If you’re going to live in Summer Lake with Chris …”
“I’m going to come back to Montana often. I love spending time with Hope.”
“You’ll figure it out. I’m sure.”
“Seymour!”
He turned as someone grasped his shoulder. It was Edward Craven, a fellow fund
manager.
“Edward.”
“I couldn’t believe the news when I heard it. You’re really putting Alan at the helm?”
“I am.” He and Edward weren’t exactly friends. The man was an arrogant asshole, as far as Seymour was concerned. They moved in the same circles—it was a hazard of their occupation. They courted the big investors, some went with Edward, some came to Seymour. Or now, they would come to Alan. Hopefully.
“What happened? Did the stress and pressure finally get to you? Not everyone can last forever in the high stakes games.”
Seymour laughed. “No. I finally realized that the stakes just weren’t high enough to warrant the stress.”
Edward raised an eyebrow. “Not high enough?”
He, no doubt, thought that Seymour had found some new higher-value market to get involved in. He had. But it wasn’t the kind Edward was thinking about.
“No. No matter what return the fund makes, it could never compare to the value that I’ve found.”
“At least, give me a clue? You’re killing me here. I admit it, you’ve hooked me. Now reel me in.”
Seymour smiled. “I’ve discovered the simple pleasures in life, Edward—the things that are truly valuable. Love, family, community.”
Edward frowned. “You’re shitting me!”
Seymour and Johnny both laughed at the look on his face. “I knew you wouldn’t understand. I am completely serious. You win. You can take the title of best fund manager. You beat me, you outstayed me. The glory is all yours. And you can keep it. I found a life worth so much more.”
Edward walked away, shaking his head.
“He thinks you’ve lost it,” said Johnny.
Seymour looked up and smiled when he spotted Chris and Jean coming toward the table. “I’ve not lost it. I’ve finally found it.”
~ ~ ~
Chris enjoyed the evening. Johnny and Jean were great company. The four of them laughed and joked the whole time. Marianne came to join them when Clay went up on stage to sing, and she hit it off with Jean straight away, too.
When Clay came to join them, he smiled around at everyone and raised his glass. “We’ve been doing this dinner for a few years now, but I have to say, tonight is my favorite.” He leaned over and kissed Marianne’s cheek. “I never thought I’d be here with a lady of my own—let alone just a few weeks before our wedding. And you.” He pointed his glass at Seymour. “I thought you were even more of a lost cause than I was.” He smiled at Chris. “I’ve seen him smile more tonight than I’d ever seen him smile before he met you.”