“Oh, that part’s easy,” Melindra said. “She wants to send me to the Emerald Palace, to find out what happened to Annabel.”
“Annabel?”
“One of us,” Melindra said. “I’m not supposed to tell you, obviously. Only what people need to know and all that crap.” She shrugged. “Annabel was my friend,” she said. “Is my friend. But she was supposed to come back from her mission to the Emerald City weeks ago, and . . .” She trailed off. “We need her information, of course,” Melindra said bitterly. “They don’t care about her. Just what she found out.”
“Do you think she’s . . .” Lanadel couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Probably. Wouldn’t be the first friend I’ve lost here.” Melindra smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s easier with the ones like Holly and Larkin. I don’t miss them as much. But as for where they want to send you, I don’t know.”
“Do you think they meant the Wizard?”
Melindra shook her head. “No way. Not if they were talking about centuries of power. I’ve heard that time moves differently in the Other Place, where the Wizard is from, but he wasn’t in Oz for that long. I don’t know who they mean, but I don’t like it.”
“Nox seemed like he really cares about you,” Lanadel said. “Or at least . . .” She didn’t know what to say. Nox and Melindra’s relationship was so complicated. She wished there was something she could do to help her friend. But she couldn’t make Nox into a different person. The real Nox, the one that Melindra saw when it was just the two of them. She couldn’t even be herself around Melindra. She didn’t know how. She felt sometimes as though she was just wearing a dozen different masks, depending on the time of day. That must have been what Gert meant about her making a good spy. But spy for what?
“If he’s trying to make decisions for me behind my back, that’s not caring,” Melindra said, her voice hard.
“It didn’t seem like that. It seemed like he was trying to—to protect you,” Lanadel said.
“That’s even worse.” Suddenly Melindra looked away. “Can you—do you mind leaving me alone for a while?”
Lanadel stared. Was Melindra crying?
“I don’t know what to tell you about what you heard,” Melindra said, her voice muffled. “I just need to think right now. Can we talk in the morning? Please?”
“Of course,” Lanadel said quickly, jumping to her feet. She wanted to reach out to Melindra. To comfort her. But she had no idea how. She backed silently out of Melindra’s room, but not fast enough to miss a single, heartrending sob.
Back in her own sleeping cave, she stared up at the ceiling. Even Melindra had no idea what Gert and Nox had meant about sending her somewhere else. And why was Melindra so ready to risk her life on a mission that had already probably killed another member of the Order?
Nothing made any sense, and it was clear she wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. As she lay there, she remembered the feeling of incredible peace that she’d felt as she looked out across the beautiful, shimmering landscape of Oz, when she’d used her own power to bring them back to the top of Mount Gillikin the first day Mombi had taught her magic. She didn’t need Mombi or Melindra around. She was strong enough now to use her power on her own. If she wasn’t going to sleep, she might as well enjoy the view.
She closed her eyes, feeling power surging through her like a huge, wild current. She knew what she was doing was dangerous—not to mention stupid. If she couldn’t control the river, she’d be washed away. Mombi had told her explicitly not to so much as move a pebble without supervision. That her anger could take control—and that would be the end of her. But the thought of trying out her new strength was too tempting. Take me to the top of the mountain, she thought.
The energy pulsed through her as though every cell in her body was coming alive in a whole new way. And then she wasn’t in her stuffy, tiny sleeping chamber anymore. She was outside, breathing in the clean, lavender-scented air. Overhead, the dazzling stars sparkled and turned. She was so high up she could see the slender silver threads from which they hung. Pale wisps of moonlit clouds blew across a velvety, deep-purple sky.
“I don’t understand you anymore,” a familiar, raspy voice said behind her, and that was when Lanadel realized she wasn’t alone.
The voice was Melindra’s. Lanadel knew without looking that she was talking to Nox. Just like she knew she had no business eavesdropping for the second time that day. But neither one of them had seen her, or felt the brush of her magic as she teleported herself to the top of the mountain. And as the power in her body ebbed away as quickly as it had come, she realized that for some reason she wasn’t strong enough to teleport herself back. She would have to walk back down to her sleeping cave—but Melindra and Nox were standing in front of the caverns’ entrance. There was no way to get past them without them seeing her.
She’d been lucky enough to materialize on the far side of a boulder big enough to hide behind, but if she moved or made any noise Melindra and Nox would spot her. She had no choice but to hide. And from where she crouched, she could hear Nox and Melindra’s every word.
“You knew what this was going to be like,” Nox was saying. His voice sounded tired. As if he’d been carrying too much weight for far too long. There was something almost vulnerable about him now.
“I knew we were both fighting for the same thing,” Melindra said angrily. “That doesn’t mean we have to be fighting each other, Nox. Just once, can you let me in? I know there are things you aren’t telling me.”
“I’m doing the best I can,” Nox said. “But there’s so much we have to think about, Melindra. We can’t afford to take time for each other right now. I’m sorry.”
“With you, there’ll never be time,” Melindra said. Lanadel could hear the effort in her voice. It was taking everything she had to keep herself under control. She was in love with Nox. There was no other reason she’d be talking to him like this. “I’m not just talking about us, Nox. I’m talking about the Order. About all the secrets you’re keeping from me.”
“What secrets?” Nox asked cautiously. “What do you know, Melindra?” Lanadel held her breath. Was Melindra going to reveal what Lanadel had told her? If Gert and Nox knew she’d spied on them, they’d probably kick her out of the Order.
But she should have known better. Melindra wouldn’t betray her. Unlike Nox, Melindra actually seemed to care about her.
“It doesn’t matter,” Melindra said. “I just know you’ve been lying to me. All along, as it turns out. About us, about the Order—about all of it. Do you know where Annabel is, Nox? Are you and Gert and Mombi just tallying up the body count along with all your secrets?”
“No!” Nox said hoarsely. “Melindra, no. I’m trying to protect you.”
It was the worst thing he could have said, even if it was true—and Lanadel knew that it was, from what she’d overheard. Melindra’s pride would never let her take it as a gesture of caring. She would only see him as trying to patronize her.
“I don’t need protecting, Nox,” she spat. “I need honesty.”
“You know I can’t tell you everything,” Nox said again helplessly. “I don’t even know Gert and Mombi’s plan. I’ve never told you anything different—”
“You’ve never told me anything!” Melindra hissed. Now her control was slipping. “Look at where we are, Nox! Look around us!” She gestured wildly at the stars, the dusky sky, the moonlight night. “This is the most beautiful place in Oz and we’re arguing about whether or not the Order will let us be together! Mombi doesn’t control you, and neither does Gert, no matter what you think. You have so much power, so much strength. You’re their equal. You don’t have to let them push you around. We could be so much stronger together, you and I, than we are on our own, and you can’t even see it.”
“I owe Mombi so much. She saved me from—you know what she saved me from,” Nox said. “I can’t just turn my back on her for you, Melindra.”
“Yo
u don’t have to turn your damn back on anyone!” Melindra’s voice was rising now, spiraling upward as she lost her temper fully. Lanadel cowered behind her rock. “So maybe you were raised by witches, but that doesn’t mean you can’t act like a human being sometimes! Why won’t you just let me get through to you, Nox?”
Nox was so stubborn, so unable to see what was right in front of his face. Melindra was right. There was no reason they couldn’t be together. Nothing that the Order could do to stop them. Gert and Mombi were hiding the truth from everyone. From Lanadel. From Nox. From Melindra. Why was he so loyal to people who didn’t even seem to care about what he wanted?
“We’d be so much stronger together than either one of us is on our own,” Melindra said. “We don’t have to stop fighting Dorothy just because we—just because I . . .” She stopped short of actually saying it, as if she couldn’t bring herself to utter the word “love.” And now it was obvious even to Lanadel that she was crying. She could feel her own heart trying to pull itself apart in her chest. Why was someone like Melindra giving this much of herself to someone like Nox? Couldn’t she see that he would never—could never—be the person she wanted?
“Melindra, I can’t be what you want me to be,” Nox said, as if he was speaking Lanadel’s thoughts out loud. “I can’t—I can’t feel the way about you that you want me to feel. I only have room for the Order. You know that. You’ve always known that.”
“You only have room for your own pain, you mean,” Melindra said. Now her voice was low and deadly. “We’ve all lost something to Dorothy. Even those little fools Holly and Larkin. And none of us are acting like the weight of the Order is on our shoulders—”
“The weight of the Order is on my shoulders, Melindra!” Nox yelled. “I’m responsible for all of you! Mombi doesn’t care in the end what happens to any of you. Neither does Gert. Neither does Glamora. You know that just as well as I do. It’s all down to me, Melindra. To me. Do you think I like watching the kids I train die? Do you think I like living like this? Do you think I don’t know what I’m turning into? Do you think—” And then his own voice broke. Lanadel felt tears running down her cheeks.
“I don’t think you think at all,” Melindra said quietly. “I don’t think you know how to think for yourself anymore, Nox. I don’t think you know who you are.”
The silence was deafening. It stretched out for what felt like forever. Nox looked at Melindra, unblinking, but he didn’t say a word. And a sob caught in her throat before she choked it down again.
“So I guess that’s it then,” she said quietly. “If I die out there . . .” She didn’t finish, and Nox still didn’t answer. Her voice was stripped raw. There was so much pain in her eyes that Lanadel wanted to break cover and run for her, but she didn’t dare move. Melindra reached one hand out to Nox and then snatched it back before she touched him as if she’d burned herself.
Without another word, she disappeared in a wisp of pale smoke. Nox stood staring at the place where she’d been, still silent. Lanadel held her breath. And then her cramped leg twitched, sending a pebble skittering across the overlook. Nox whipped around.
“Lanadel?” he asked.
She flushed scarlet and stood up, not daring to meet his eyes.
“How much of that did you hear?”
“Hardly anything,” she lied. Nox snorted softly.
“Right. Well, then you know hardly anything about my personal business, and so you have nothing to tell anyone else. Right?”
“I—I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone anything,” she stammered. That much was the truth. Whatever had just happened between Nox and Melindra, it was deep and ugly and painful. Melindra’s anger came from a depth of love Lanadel had only ever imagined but never experienced herself. She wondered suddenly if someday someone would be able to hurt her as badly as Nox had just hurt Melindra. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.
“You’d better not,” he said. His voice was dangerous.
“She loves you, you know,” Lanadel blurted. Nox jerked back, and for a second she thought he was going to hit her.
“That’s none of your business,” he snarled. “None of this is any of your business. And if you tell anyone—and I mean anyone—about what you just heard, I’ll throw you off this mountain so fast you won’t have time to pray before you hit the bottom.”
The way he was looking at her—there was something frightening about it. As if he wanted to hurt her. As if he wanted to make her disappear. As if he hated her.
And then she realized why. He wasn’t angry at her for accidentally spying on him. He was angry because she’d seen that he could be hurt—and that Melindra was the one who could hurt him. He was angry because for once she’d seen through the shell to whatever he was underneath—and the person he was underneath wasn’t brave enough to choose love over everything he knew.
She didn’t like Nox, but she understood him. She felt, sometimes, like they were the same. Working with the Order, for the Order, was the only way of working through the pain. Without the Order, without some goal, pain would be all that was left in her.
But Lanadel wasn’t ready to hurt the only friend she had in this world to get the revenge she so desperately wanted—and she’d just watched Nox basically stab Melindra in the heart. So maybe they weren’t the same, deep down. Nox had really meant what he said. The Order was the only thing he had. But in the last few weeks, she’d learned something important: a friend could make her forget about her pain, too. Not for long. Not for good. But it was something. And, she realized, it was something Nox had never had. And if Melindra really was going to Dorothy’s palace on a mission that would almost certainly kill her, it was something she might never have again. She could forgive Nox his pain. She could forgive him for hurting the girl she cared about more than anyone else living that she knew. But if he didn’t stop Melindra—if he let her go to her death—then he was no different to her than Dorothy. And if Melindra died, she’d make him pay, too. Because, she realized, there was a part of her—yet another Lanadel—who felt something more for Melindra. Something messier and more complicated than just friendship. Just another piece of herself to add to the list of all her different selves. All the different directions her heart wanted to go.
“Well?” He raised an eyebrow. “Shall we go back?”
“I—I can’t,” she admitted. “I think I used up all my magic getting here.”
He smiled without any warmth behind it. “Too bad. I guess you’ll have to take the long way home,” he said, and vanished with a pop as faint as a bursting bubble. Lanadel took one last look at the stars and sighed. She had no idea how far up she was. But she was pretty sure it was a long walk back to her bed.
EIGHT
The next morning, she got up at dawn as usual. She hadn’t slept after making her way down the endless twisting and turning tunnels that led back to the Order’s caverns from the mountaintop lookout. She wasn’t looking forward to facing Nox after what she’d seen last night. And how could she possibly hide what she knew from Melindra?
A cloud of silence hung over the breakfast table. Even Mombi seemed subdued. Melindra’s eyes were red-rimmed and she tore furiously at her bread crust in silence. Holly and Larkin kept exchanging wide-eyed glances, clearly dying to know what was going on. Nox was staring at his bowl of gruel, refusing to look up as Lanadel entered the cavern. She took a deep breath, trying to decide where to sit.
And then suddenly there was a cracking noise and a flash of light from the far end of the cavern. With a pop, all of Glamora’s enchantments vanished: the Flutterbudgets, the chandeliers, the fire, the food. Where the magical fire had burned a second earlier, someone—or something—was crumpled on the floor, unmoving. Nox leapt to his feet and rushed over with Melindra close behind him. Holly, Larkin, and Lanadel ran after them and Mombi waddled in the rear as fast as her short legs could manage.
As Lanadel got closer she could see Nox was bending over a girl not much older than she was. It w
as impossible to tell what she was wearing; it might have been a plain dress, but it was so dirty and torn that hardly any of the original garment remained. She was bleeding from a dozen cuts, her exposed skin covered in blood, and a terrible wound gaped from her forehead. The girl’s eyes were closed and Lanadel thought for an awful moment that she might be dead until she saw the faint rise and fall of her chest.
“Summon Gert and Glamora,” Mombi said to Nox in a low voice. “Now.” Nox jumped to his feet and put two fingers to his mouth as though he was about to whistle, but no sound came out of his open mouth. A few seconds later Glamora and Gert appeared next to Mombi with a pop.
“Oh no!” Glamora gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. “Her horn!”
What horn? Lanadel wondered.
“We have to get her to the healing pool at once,” Mombi said, pushing the trainees out of the way. “Melindra, help me carry her. I’m afraid to move her using magic.” But the girl’s eyelids were fluttering. She coughed weakly and rolled over onto her side, wheezing for breath.
“Not—bad—as it looks,” she whispered. “Let me—walk.”
“Not a chance,” Melindra said, gathering the girl up in her arms with infinite tenderness. She stood again as if the girl’s limp body weighed nothing at all, the muscles in her back and arms rippling.
“Forget about me,” the girl wheezed. “You have to—” But she broke off, hacking and coughing. Blood bubbled from her mouth. Gert leaned forward and brushed the girl’s forehead with her fingers, her eyes closed.
“Oh dear,” she said. “Oh, this is not good at all.” She opened her eyes and looked at Mombi. “Dorothy is moving far more quickly than we expected. We sent poor Annabel into terrible danger without realizing it.”
Lanadel drew in a breath—this was Annabel, the missing member of the Order who they’d been so worried about. She was alive—but barely.
“We all know the risks,” Nox said in a low voice, but his face was strained with worry. “This is what we’re trained for. This is why we’re here. Melindra,” he said, “if we don’t get her to the healing pool, she’s going to die.”
Dorothy Must Die Novella #7 Page 6