She grew curious. With each lick of tongue across her chest that was drifting towards the valley between her breasts, she felt heat pooling in the most secret part of her. There was a wetness too between her legs, the kind that always greeted her after her dreams of Loftus.
She gave into her curiosity, reaching out and looping a finger over the waistband of his trousers. The move made him growl in the back of his throat, the sudden sound made her breath hitch again and goosebumps appear across her skin.
He looked up to her from his kisses, his face as flushed as hers was with excitement. As his green eyes found hers, she smiled. It was an overwhelming sensation – happiness from being with him. He smiled back, just as his urgent energy returned.
He backed her towards the bed with his hands on her waist, until she was sat on the edge of the bed. He stood before her, turning his attention to his hessian boots to remove them. He nodded down at her legs with another smirk.
“Stockings,” he murmured. It was the only word he needed.
She lifted the skirt of the chemise around her thighs, reaching for the stockings at the top of her legs and beginning to pull them down. Loftus appeared distracted by it. His hands were removing his boots, but his eyes were watching her movement, fixed to the glimpse of leg she was giving to him.
As she finished, sitting back on the bed, he left his boots fallen on their sides and turned his attention to his slim-fitting trousers, unbuttoning the waistband. She slipped her eyes from his down to his actions, too curious to look away. As he removed his trousers, he tossed the garment to the pile of discarded clothes, letting it join the others.
She gasped at the sight of him completely exposed to her and covered her mouth for a moment, trying to hide her smile from him. She could not help but admire his figure, he was tall and strong, yet more toned than she had imagined. Then there was the secret part of him he had revealed to her.
Her eyes flicked down to this part of him as he moved toward her, taking hold of her chemise.
“Do not be worried,” he murmured. She bit her lip, wondering how he could read the small part of fear inside her. She had heard a woman’s first time could hurt and looking at the size of him, it was something that concerned her. “I promise,” he kissed her briefly, holding the moment with such intimacy before pulling back. “You are safe with me.”
She nodded in reply as he returned his focus to her chemise, hurrying to pull it from her.
As the cool air of the room brushed her bare skin, she felt the goosebumps once more. Her breasts too were sensitive, and alert. As he threw the chemise to the side, he kissed her again.
Augusta lost herself in that moment. Realizing the depth of the situation – they were now both completely uncovered, bare for each other to see.
He lowered her back onto the bed and crawled over her, his legs straddling her as she lowered her hands from his hair to his shoulders, caressing the exposed muscle there with fascination.
His hands began to wander too. With one hand, he braced himself over her, in order to continue their deep kiss. His other hand travelled down her body, brushing her breasts and exploring her. He was gentle, just a soft touch and caress, yet her body responded to him, flinching and arching up against him, in need of his touch.
She began to ache in her most hidden part, just as his hand travelled down her waist. She knew the ache could only ever be satisfied with his touch.
He rearranged his legs, parting her knees for him to kneel between hers with his thighs. The intimacy of the movement made her claw at his shoulders even more.
He parted from the kiss and held her gaze as his hand dropped down her stomach. He held her stare, as his hand drifted across her hip and her thigh, reaching for her center. She bit her lip as he connected with her, trying to stop the sounds she so desperately wanted to make.
He smiled slightly, watching her as though with fascination as his hand began to move. She looked away from his stare, down at what he was doing to her, and it heightened the feeling. She gasped, lowering her head back again and closing her eyes as the feeling he was creating absorbed her. It was an incredible sensation of pleasure. He stayed outside of her, just exploring her there, but with each brush of his hand, her body wanted to move against his.
He built up a quicker rhythm, building the pace until she was panting, digging her fingernails into his shoulders, nearly creating scratches from the strength of the feeling that was washing over her.
Then he took his hand away from her. She could not help letting out a small moan of disappointment. It brought another smile to his cheeks as he lowered himself to her once again. He kissed her forehead softly as he nudged her entrance.
The gentleness, the care of the movement surprised her, but she realized it was a tactic a moment later, one of distraction, to make her think of something else other than the pain that was about to happen.
As he moved completely inside her, it was sudden. She gasped once more and pulled at his shoulders with the force of her reaction.
“I am so sorry, Augusta,” he whispered, lowering his lips to her ear and kissing a spot beneath her ear at the top of her neck that made her curl her body towards him in pleasure. “The pain cannot be escaped. Tell me when it has passed.”
He continued with his kiss at the top of her neck and she concentrated on that feeling, allowing her hands to travel up into his hair and weave her fingers into his locks.
She opened her eyes and looked down at their bodies – the moment overwhelming her at how they were connected.
Loftus…
What pain there had been vanished, and all she wanted was to explore this sensation even more. She had never felt so close to him, both physically and emotionally. At that moment, all she wanted to do was explore this passion between them, just as he had suggested.
“Loftus,” she whispered, prompting him to raise his head slightly, connecting their gazes. “The pain has gone,” she reassured with a smile.
“You are certain?” He hesitated, though his stance changed slightly, his hands moving to the bed beneath her as though for better balance. The sensation of him moving inside her with it had her squirming at a new feeling of bless.
“Yes!” She gasped, just as he moved out of her and back in.
He set up a rhythm. It was slow at first, building gently. Even though she yearned for more and continued to pull at his arms and shoulders, urging him on. It wasn’t long before he heeded to her request and picked up the pace.
Augusta was consumed by each touch between them, the heat of it all bringing more intensity to the moment. Sometimes she held onto his arms, other times she clutched to the bed sheet behind her. Loftus first lowered himself to her, burying his mouth in her neck to muffle his own moans and press their bodies together, but then it changed, and he leaned up, his head tilted back, with pleasure.
Augusta could feel the bliss mounting. As though she were climbing a great ladder, her body was anxious for it, clawing desperately to the top of that ladder. He appeared to see it as she clutched tight to the bed sheets.
He reared back and placed his hands to her knees, holding her open to him. Being so exposed to him, their bodies so close together, entwined with the excitement, she reached the top of that ladder. What followed was a crashing of pleasure.
“Loftus…” She moaned his name and closed her eyes as she hurtled over the edge, her body trembling with the excitement as he rode out her wave. It was not long before he joined her. She opened her eyes again as his moaning grew quicker, heavier.
He was braced above her – he changed their position again, releasing one of her knees and placing his hand next to her head to lean over her. His body jerked a few times towards her, prompting her to admire him in his throes of ecstasy.
She busied herself admiring the color in his cheeks and the way he said her name as he came down from his high, stilling above her, though he kept their connection. He lowered himself over her in the next moment, their bodies pressed tog
ether as he kissed her.
It was a sweet kiss. It did not hold the passion of the previous moments; it was more loving instead. Their lips moved together in a soft gentle dance before he parted from her lips and leaned back with a smile.
Staring into his green eyes, her happiness overwhelmed her as she realized what had passed between them had been more amazing than anything she had ever expected. Contrary to her expectation that being with him might abate her desire for him, she already felt her desire stirring again. As she looked at his jade eyes, she found herself picturing what other positions they could take, what other ways to explore together.
She felt lost in the next moment. She had only kindled her desire for him, making it greater, not resolved the issue and ended it forever.
Oh God... what happens now?
Chapter Twelve
Loftus stood, replacing his trousers and his shirt beside the bed as Augusta hurried to replace her chemise. She looked away from him, still baffled by what had taken place and wondering if she had made a dreadful mistake.
Loftus paused in his dressing, his focus on the chest of drawers in her chamber. He stepped towards it and lifted something from its surface.
She could not see his face from the position they were in, but she could see what was in his hand. It was the gift he had given her all those years ago – the necklace with the horse and rider pendant.
“You kept it?” He looked back to her. She looked away from his penetrating green eyes and turned to replace her corset. She was getting in a fuddle trying to put it on without the help of a maid, but she was suddenly desperate to be dressed again, to be hidden from him. “Augusta, you kept the necklace?” He moved to her side after replacing the jewelry to the table.
“Help me with this,” she ignored his question and turned her back to him, prompting him to help her with the corset. He did as she asked, but he did not relent.
“You kept the necklace,” he said again, this time it was not a question. “After all these years.”
She kept her head from him as he finished with the corset and she rushed to pick up her dress off the floor. She was so busy with her focus on the dress, she barely noticed Loftus moving to stand in front of her again.
“Augusta,” he took the dress from her hands, urging her to look at him. “Marry me, Augusta,” he moved toward her with the dress in his hands, his green eyes wide with sincerity. “You care for me still as I do you. You cannot ignore what just happened between us.” He gestured to the bed. She turned away from it, trying to push away the image of their bodies entwined together from her mind, but she could not. Her body was still floating on the cloud of bliss he had created.
“Too much has just happened,” she shook her head. She snatched the dress from his hands and walked past him. “I need time to think.”
Do I want to marry him?
She dismissed the idea with her next thought. She did not want him to marry her out of obligation, yet she was convinced that was what he was now trying to do. Both had let their desire run away with them. They were left in a position where it was possible Augusta could be with child and unmarried. He was trying to do the right thing, out of obligation.
She closed her eyes, detesting the idea.
If she were to marry him, she wanted him to marry her for love, not for obligation.
“Augusta,” he moved in front of her again, earning her gaze, just as a sound came from downstairs. Their eyes connected, both widening in realization. “Is that James? Arrived home?” He whispered.
“Yes,” she covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God!” She said in a hurried whisper as she tried to replace her dress.
Loftus turned away and replaced the rest of his clothes, hurrying with his waistcoat and hessian boots. Augusta was finished first, so she went to help him, adjusting his cravat. It put them in proximity again.
“Say yes, Augusta. Marry me,” he pleaded, taking hold of her waist again with his hands.
His touch on her had her leaning towards him, tempted to say yes, but the thought of seeing him with that other woman all those years ago broke through her daze. She could not go through that heartbreak again. He had made it clear once how little he valued her affection. She would not place her heart in his hands for more pain.
“James is home,” she whispered as the sounds became clearer downstairs. “We need to get you out of here before he realizes.” She walked past him, but he followed her, refusing to let her escape.
“Augusta –”
“I will think on it,” she said eventually, desperate to put the conversation at an end. “This is not the time. There is the pressing matter of avoiding discovery to attend to,” she gestured to the floor where James could be heard. “And there is much I need to think about. I need time.”
He nodded, apparently relenting. As he finished with his boots, his hands went to his arms and his eyes widened in realization.
“My coat is downstairs.”
Loftus would have found some humor in the situation had Augusta not refused to give him an answer. As it was, he was standing in the corridor outside of the drawing room as Augusta was inside, trying to collect his coat form the floor without raising James’ suspicions.
Fortunately, from what he could hear through the door, James had not noticed. The slurring of his words also suggested he was drunk. Loftus turned to the grandfather clock in the corridor and rolled his eyes as he realized the time. Augusta was right, James did have a problem if he was drunk at such a time.
Perhaps it was in their favor on this occasion. When the door opened, Augusta flung the coat into Loftus’ hands so quickly, it startled him. Over her shoulder, he caught a brief glimpse of James laid out on the divan, slowly falling asleep.
The door was closed again, and the distance between him and Augusta grew greater once more.
He slipped out of the house as quickly as possible, making his way home with agitation in his every step.
Augusta…
He could still smell her on him. The thought of her beneath him on the bed, moaning his name, clawing at him to be closer to her, watching her fall over the edge of her pleasure until she was clutching the bed sheets and pulling them from their place with her fervor… It was all too much for him to bear. What had passed between them was more intimate and more exciting than he had imagined it being.
The contrast of sharing a bed with Augusta compared to Maria, his late wife, was startling. It brought into sharp focus just how ill a fit he and Maria had been as a couple.
As he walked through the streets, returning home as quickly as possible, Augusta’s resistance to answer him left him gutted. He stared at the cracks in the pavements and the cobbles, his mind torn with differing thoughts.
She could not show so much passion and not care for me, surely? She kept the necklace. After all these years, she kept it in her dresser. Does that not mean something too?
He had been so convinced, as their lovemaking ended, that she cared for him, he had not hesitated to ask her to marry him again. His had thought that he had proven to her that they could be happy together, be married and have a family, if she would just finally say yes.
Yet her lack of a response was as good as another refusal. Her third rejection now.
He felt pain in his gut, as though his whole stomach was writhing in knots. It was a sign. It was not just lust for Augusta. If it was lust, then their one afternoon together on her bed may have been enough, but it was not enough. He still desired her, yet there were other things to consider too. He wanted her away from James’ gambling, wanted to protect her. He wanted her to be the mother of his children, to Markus as well as their own.
He wanted her as his wife.
His footsteps came to a stop briefly as he looked back down the street towards the house that he had left.
Am I in love with her all over again?
The thought made him turn away and his steps grew quicker. His whole journey home he replayed the events of eight
years ago. How she had called off the engagement without a word to anyone as to the reasons why. Now she was refusing to marry him all over again, even though she clearly cared for him.
Why doesn’t she want to marry me?
Augusta could not sleep. It was perhaps because she was trying to sleep in the same bed where she and Loftus had been so intimate together. At times, she thought the bed sheets held his scent, but she would roll over and try to turn away from it.
There was another reason though why she could not sleep. She stared up at the ceiling, wide awake, her eyes darting around the space with thought.
He wants to marry me.
She could not trust him. She knew that.
She rolled over again, remembering exactly what had happened eight years ago.
In the Baron's Debt: Historical Regency Romance Page 11