He had the decency to look ashamed, his eyes down at his feet.
“Do you understand now?” She asked, her voice calm once again. “I had to endure you pursuing another woman once. I had to find out through some anonymous party what was happening, that you did not love me after all. Do you think that I could ever trust you again?”
He did not answer.
She turned from him, reaching towards the door that exited the hot house.
“Whoever sent me that letter, I will be eternally grateful to them for what they did,” she placed her fingers on the handle, ready to take hold and run free of the glass house, to hopefully run away from Loftus for what would be the last time, but his hand appeared in front of her, holding the door closed and preventing her escape.
“I would not be grateful to them if I was you,” he said quietly. She looked up to him, his whole countenance had changed. Something stern, seething yet quiet. The anger he always showed to her was a lot louder than the emotion he was now displaying.
This is a different kind of anger altogether.
“Why not?” She asked with surprise.
“Because I think I know who sent you that note.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Good God, Augusta,” he shook his head, still bracing his hands against the door and refusing to let her part. She pulled against it, growling in frustration.
“Let me leave!”
“No!” He held the door in place. “I listened to your explanation, Augusta, now please, listen to mine. I think I know who sent you that letter and believe me when I say, they did you no favors.”
“What do you mean?” She looked back to him, releasing her hold on the door. She was suddenly aware of how close they were standing. She turned sharply away from him, walking back around the palm trees to put them between the two of them.
He gritted his teeth for a moment as he stepped away from the door, then he lowered his hands, his eyes finding her across the palm trees.
“Did you ever meet my late wife?” He asked. The strange change in topic surprised her.
“No, never,” she shook her head.
“You were very lucky indeed, then,” he sneered with the movement. “What you do not know about Maria was that she was a very sick lady indeed.”
“Sick?” She was too stunned, wondering why they were talking of Maria in such a way. “How do you mean?”
“Hysteria, lunacy, madness, who knows really,” he shrugged. “I had to listen to many doctors’ attempted diagnosis for her. She refused all treatments, despite what they said, and she only grew worse over time.”
There was a seat at the side of the palm trees, it was one James liked to occupy. Loftus moved toward it now, sitting down with a hefty sigh and leaning forward, his elbows on his knees.
“I first met Maria when we were children,” he looked to her, holding her gaze as she stared at him. “Our families were close friends, but that was it for me. She did not show any signs at this point the propensity of her lunacy. There were perhaps small cracks, but nothing that raised too much concern. She loved me.” He paused, looking at her.
Augusta looked away. She did not need to hear this detail. She already knew that.
“But I did not love her.” His voice was firm, urging Augusta to flick her head back towards him.
“But the park –”
“Let me explain, please.” He pleaded, making no move from his seat. She shifted on her feet, but she made no more effort to interrupt. “My parents were keen to see an alliance between the two families and they liked Maria. When I met you, everything changed. My parents did not object to my wish because they saw how happy you made me. Yet Maria…” He shook his head, looking down at the floor. “Oh, she objected indeed.”
Augusta moved to the side of the palm trees, her footsteps slow across the floor of the glass house, the better to see Loftus’ profile clearly.
“It grew apparent to me that it was not love that she felt for me. Perhaps obsession, with the idea of the person she thought I was. An infatuation,” he looked back up to her. There was pain in his features. “So, when I told her I was marrying you, she did not react very well. What followed were increasing attempt to get my attention.”
“Why did you not tell me?” Augusta whispered, still watching him.
“I did not want to trouble you with it,” he loosened the cravat at his neck. “I thought once we were married, she would have no choice but to back off. She wrote and asked to meet me at Hyde Park the evening that you speak of.”
Augusta suddenly realized what he was trying to say. She covered her face with both hands.
“When I alluded to the strangeness of the time and place, requesting instead that we have a meeting at one of our houses with a chaperone, well, she went quite mad at my complaint,” his voice was quiet. “She was insistent she would not change the meeting time or place. Now, I realize why…” He trailed off, urging her to look back to him. His green eyes were fixed to her. “She had already told you to go there too it seems.”
“I went to meet her with one thing in mind. To put an end to her objection, to get her to stop sending me incessant letters, and to make it perfectly clear that I was marrying you, and no other.” He flinched, as though the memory was coming back to him. “She grew animated and upset. She was crying,” he shrugged, looking helpless. “I did not know what to do – I just wanted her to stop crying. I tried to comfort her. That was the arm around her and her head on my shoulder that you saw.”
He stopped speaking for a moment, looking to Augusta.
She turned away, grasping onto the nearest thing that happened to be the palm trees. She clutched to the leaves for a moment, pressing the thin green leaves between her fingers.
Could it be true?
She wanted to believe it, but she held herself back. There was something else that bothered her though. Something that did not lend itself to his version of the story.
“But…” She paused as she looked back to him. “If that were true, why did you marry her so quickly?”
He sighed once more and sat back in his chair, his body looking exhausted.
“I was distraught after you broke off our betrothal,” he kept his eyes from her this time. They were on his fidgeting hands instead. “My father insisted that I marry Maria instead. He said it would cheer me up. He repeated all the rubbish about family alliances and how it was an eligible match. I was devastated, I was hardly in a position to refuse, so I relented instead.”
He ran his hands through his hair, tussling the brown locks.
“You did not love her?” Augusta asked slowly, stepping towards him again. She was very near to him now. He still did not look at her. She imagined herself as a spooked animal, in such a state of shock that if he made another move towards her, she might make another attempt to run away.
“No, I did not,” he shook his head. “It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.” He shifted uncomfortably in the chair, still keeping his eyes from her. “We stayed in the countryside as it became clear very quickly how ill she was. I did not want her exposed to the ton in that way. It would have been cruel of me to subject anyone to their gossip, even her. She also could not handle the outside world.”
He fidgeted once more, unable to sit still. “The next few years… It was like I was acting out what hell might appear like. She grew worse every day – she was jealous, rude, and aggressive. Not a day went by where we weren’t arguing and then of course there was Markus.”
He despaired for a moment, hanging his head in his hands. “Markus’ birth was a blessing to me, but not to Maria.”
“Why not?” Augusta could not understand the idea.
“She did not really recognize him as her own. After the birth, she grew worse. Whatever was wrong with her, it turned into something unbearable.” He looked up from his hands. “She was so jealous of my attention to Markus, that she was a cruel mother. She only wanted me to fixate on her. Her obsession was insa
ne!”
He shook his head, lifting his eyes finally to her again. “She never showed Markus the love he deserved. I think that has always been the main problem for him. He traipsed round after her, desperate to feel some love from her that she was never willing to give. Her madness grew so great she became violent with it. Her mind eventually gave out and she died.”
“Oh my,” Augusta brought her hand to her chest, trying to hold back the warring emotions beneath.
“I have never spoken of any of that to anyone,” he shook his head, looking up to the ceiling. Augusta did not doubt he was telling the truth. His face was stern with sincerity.
“She…” Augusta tried to speak, tried to summon words to understand what she had just heard. “She drove us apart? Just to keep you to herself?”
“So it would seem.”
The realization came crashing down on Augusta. As though it were a real wound being delivered by a knife to her gut, caused by the woman who had destroyed her chance of happiness.
This time, she did not turn away from Loftus, but she could not hold back her tears. They came suddenly and she gasped with them – they were the heavy gasping cries, the kind that came with true despair.
“Augusta?” He jumped to his feet, with sudden concern and closed the distance between them, reaching out for her. She reached out to take his hands, their fingers weaving together.
“Are you telling me that for the last eight years I was parted from you all because of a lie?” Her words were interrupted with the gasps of her cries.
I have been taken away from the love of my life because of the malicious intent of a jealous woman.
“It would seem so,” his face was a picture of sadness. He lifted her hand to his face and kissed the back of it. “Augusta, I have never loved another woman, only you.” He clutched tightly to her hand, trying to emphasize his words. “In truth, I think I have just tried to ignore the fact that I never stopped loving you because I was angry at you for leaving me, but I do.” He lifted his other hand to her neck, cradling her head and bringing her closer to him. “I still love you.” He brought her to him and kissed her. She relented, clinging to him and emboldened by the kiss. Rather than the passion of before, it was one of longing, of true love. She held tightly to the lapels of his coat as their lips parted.
“Augusta,” he whispered to her, a small smile tweaking his lips. “Clearly Maria has caused enough trouble in our life. Far too much! But I want that to end now.” He held her around her waist, his grasp so tight she thought he would never let her go. “I am not asking you to marry me out of obligation or concern for reputation. I wish to marry you now as much as I did eight years ago. If anything, more so, though the idea seems impossible. Marry me, Augusta. Please put an end to this madness.”
Her eyes darted between his as her mind raced with thoughts.
“I can scarcely believe I was parted from the love of my life because of a lie,” she almost laughed through her tears. It brought a new smile to his lips.
“You love me too?”
“I do. I do love you,” she clung even tighter to his lapels. “So yes, yes I will marry you.”
“Thank God for that!” He pulled her to him for another kiss, but it was a quick one, before he pulled away again. “Starting right now, there are going to be changes. No more anger between us?”
“No more anger,” she laughed slightly, trying to dry her tears with the back of one of her hands.
“And no more of you running away from me, understand? I am tired of chasing you,” he jested, causing her to laugh once again.
“I promise to stop running away.”
“Good, then we will have the family we talked of eight years ago,” his smile was so great, Augusta felt overwhelmed. She continued to cling to him, her hands unable to part from him. “With Markus.”
“I will be a mother,” Augusta’s eyebrows shot up with surprise.
“Markus will be pleased. Now he is talking again, he talks of little else but you,” he teased with a wink.
“I love you,” Augusta said again. The sight of seeing Loftus so happy prompted her words. She could not stop herself from saying it.
“I love you too.” He kissed her, their passion returning until they were both breathless, parting from their kiss with gasping breaths of excitement.
“Where is your brother?” He asked suddenly.
“My brother? That is who you are thinking of at this moment?” She laughed in jest, wiping away the last of her tears until they were completely gone.
“Ha! I am merely thinking of getting his blessing as soon as possible,” he took hold of her hand and dragged her from the glass house.
“What is the hurry?” She asked as they ran across the grass together, hand in hand.
“Well, our last betrothal was long, and it allowed someone else to meddle with it. This time it will be quick, before any other jealous parties can interfere with our happiness.”
She laughed as she followed him through the garden, picking up her skirts in her haste to hurry after him.
Loftus has always been the man I thought he was eight years ago after all.
Epilogue
Augusta kissed Loftus as they stood on the steps leading out of the church, hand in hand with their wedding guests lining the path in front of them, cheering away. Augusta leaned back with a smile so great, she thought her cheeks could hurt forever more. Loftus smiled back and raised their joined hands, kissing the back of it.
In the crowd in front of them, James stood, holding onto Markus who was bobbing on his toes happily.
“I think he is happy,” Augusta leaned toward Loftus and whispered to him, pointing out Markus and his evident glee.
“So he is,” Loftus laughed and held out his free hand towards the boy in the crowd, beckoning him toward them. James gave him a little nudge forward and Markus went willingly, running toward them and taking his father’s hand in his own. “Ready to go home, Markus?”
The boy nodded eagerly in reply.
Loftus gave another smile just for Augusta to see and then they walked together, hand in hand down the church path, now husband and wife, with their little family complete. They had not gone two steps before Markus released Loftus’ hand and ran around to take Augusta’s instead, causing the two of them to laugh.
They wished their guests goodbye and hurried into the carriage at the end of the path, waving at the guests as the coach pulled forward, and disappeared down the road. Markus sat between the two of them, bobbing up and down in his seat, he was so happy.
Augusta shared his happiness. She could barely believe what had happened over the last few weeks of her life. Since the discovery of Maria’s meddling in their betrothal eight years ago, she and Loftus fell back into a perfect romance. James had not hesitated to give his blessing for the wedding and had seconded Loftus’ wish for the wedding to be soon. Preparations had been quick, with Markus happily taking part.
The boy was starting to talk more and to Augusta’s joy he even called her ‘Mama.’ Amazed that she had somehow ended up with the perfect family she had always dreamed of, with all the heartache pushed behind her, she could not tear her eyes from either Loftus, or Markus, as they drove home.
The whole journey Loftus and Markus spoke of plans the three of them could do together. Augusta happily took part, but her mind was elsewhere.
Since their betrothal, there had not been a repeat of the afternoon they had spent on her bed, as Loftus had said he wanted to do things right, but now her mind was consumed with the idea. She wanted to be with him again in those same intimate positions and this time, it would not just be out of desire, but out of love too.
When they reached the house, Markus hurried out of the carriage first, running towards the door where Holmes and the other staff were waiting to greet the three of them. Loftus helped Augusta down from the carriage, squeezing her hand and offering her a wink. It brought heat to her cheeks, just thinking of what could pass between them.
“My Lord!” Holmes said with such a great smile that Augusta thought there were tears in his eyes. They reached his side in the doorway entrance. “May I be the first to offer my congratulations.” Holmes offered his hand and Loftus took it warmly.
“Thank you, Holmes.”
“All has been prepared for the wedding breakfast,” Holmes confirmed, gesturing behind him to the guests. “And the new gift for Markus has been brought into the drawing room,” he lowered his voice to a whisper, but Markus heard him, just as he had really intended. Markus dashed off through the house, running towards the drawing room, making Augusta laugh.
“I think he is excited,” she remarked as she followed him through the corridor.
In the Baron's Debt: Historical Regency Romance Page 13