I Is Another

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by Jon Fosse




  ‘The reader of I is Another is both on the riverbank and in the water being carried forward, and around, by the great, shaping, and completely engrossing, flow of Fosse’s words. It’s a doubleness of view that is reflected in the characters, named Asle, who are both one and other, and through which we can see and feel the world, and ourselves, more clearly.’

  — David Hayden, author of Darker with the Lights On

  ‘Jon Fosse is a major European writer.’

  — Karl Ove Knausgaard, author of My Struggle

  Praise for The Other Name

  ‘Fosse has written a strange mystical moebius strip of a novel, in which an artist struggles with faith and loneliness, and watches himself, or versions of himself, fall away into the lower depths. The social world seems distant and foggy in this profound, existential narrative, which is only the first part of what promises to be a major work of Scandinavian fiction.’

  — Hari Kunzru, author of White Tears

  ‘There is, in this book’s rhythmic accumulation of words, something incantatory and self-annihilating – something that feels almost holy.’

  — Sam Sacks, Wall Street Journal

  ‘Septology is on its way to becoming some of Fosse’s most meaningful art, his singular picture finally dislodged.’

  — Spencer Ruchti, Music and Literature

  ‘The Other Name trembles with the beauty, doubt, and gnostic weariness of great religious fiction. In Fosse’s hands, God is a difficult, pungent, overwhelmingly aesthetic force, ‘the invisible inside the visible’.

  — Dustin Illingworth, The Nation

  I IS ANOTHER

  SEPTOLOGY III-V

  JON FOSSE

  Translated by

  DAMION SEARLS

  ‘Je est un autre.’

  — Arthur Rimbaud

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  III

  IV

  V

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  III

  And I see myself standing and looking at the picture with the two lines, a purple line and a brown line, that cross in the middle and I think that it’s cold in the main room, and that it’s too early to get up, it doesn’t matter what time it is, so why did I get up then? I think and I turn off the light in the main room and I go back to the little bedroom and I turn off the light there and I lie back down in bed and I tuck the duvet tight around me and Bragi lies down against me and I think well I got a little sleep last night, even if not that much, and today is Wednesday and it’s still early in the morning, or maybe it’s still nighttime? I think and it was so cold in the main room that I didn’t want to get up, I think and I pet Bragi, rub his back, and then I look into the darkness and I see Asle sitting on the swing outside his front door and he’s not swinging, he’s just sitting there, and he’s thinking he can’t figure out anything to do and he swings carefully, slowly back and forth a little and then Mother comes out onto the porch and she’s angry and Asle doesn’t know why she’s so angry

  Come here! she says

  What’s the matter, he says

  Get over here, Mother says

  Okay, Asle says

  and he gets off the swing and goes over to Mother who’s standing on the porch and she’s looking right at him and he walks up the stairs

  Yes, he says

  There you are, she says

  and he doesn’t understand why Mother’s voice is so angry, what’s wrong with her? what has he done now to make her so mad at him? he thinks

  Look at this, Mother says

  and she opens her hand and Asle sees three one-krone coins lying in the palm of Mother’s hand and she stands there holding out her hand with the three krone coins in it and she doesn’t say anything and Asle thinks how did Mother find the three kroner? and he’d meant to hide them somewhere clever, yes, he’d meant to put them under one of the flagstones outside the front door but then he forgot, it just disappeared from his mind and now Mother is standing here holding the three coins out to him, and how did she find them anyway? Asle thinks, and then he thinks of course she found them in his pocket because he forgot to take them out of his trousers and hide them

  Where did you get these? Mother says

  and Asle thinks that he can’t say he got them from The Bald Man, that he got them after sitting with him in his car, and he definitely can’t say why he got them, no

  Answer me, Mother says

  and Asle thinks that he definitely can’t tell her the truth, that he got them from The Bald Man, and that’s because he mustn’t tell anyone that he went for a car ride with The Bald Man, and that The Bald Man put his hand on his leg and then took his hand away, at least twice, that The Bald Man did that, he thinks

  Where did you get these coins? Mother says

  Well, answer me, she says

  Don’t just stand there with your mouth hanging open, she says

  and then she grabs his shoulder and she shakes him and she says he needs to answer her when she asks him something and she’s almost shouting

  Answer me, Mother says

  and he has to say something, anything, Asle thinks

  I found them, he says

  You found them? Mother says

  Where did you find them? she says

  Answer me, tell me where you found them, she says

  and Asle just stands there and Mother lets go of his shoulder

  On the road, he says

  On the road you say, Mother says

  Yes, on the road, Asle says

  Where exactly, she says

  Outside The Bakery, he says

  You found them outside The Bakery? Mother says

  and she says does he expect her to believe that, that he found them, outside The Bakery

  You stole them, Mother says

  I didn’t steal anything, Asle says

  Yes you did, you stole them, she says

  I did not, he says

  You did, she says

  and Mother says she checked her own purse because she had a few krone coins in there, yes, she doesn’t have that much money but she did have a few krone coins in there, and she didn’t remember how many, but it was several, and for all she knows he stole the krone coins from her, she says, but she’s not sure, because she has five one-krone coins in her purse now but she can’t remember anymore if she’d had more in there, she might well have had more, yes, she could have had eight not just five

  Did you steal this money from me? Mother says

  and Asle says that he didn’t steal the money, he found it, like he said, yes, outside The Bakery

  You’re lying, Mother says

  I’m not lying, Asle says

  and then they stand there and neither of them says anything and then Mother says that she was about to do the laundry and she checked in his pockets like usual, what hasn’t she found in there, she always finds something, a stone, pine cones, nails, marbles, rope ends, she doesn’t even know what all she’s found, but never, ever before has she found three shiny new krone coins, and she doesn’t know how Asle could have gotten them but it can’t have been honestly

  I found them, he says

  Yes you said that, Mother says

  and then they just stand there and then they see Father coming around the corner of The Old House where Grandma and Grandpa live and Mother calls Father and tells him he needs to come here and Father comes up to them just walking slowly

  What’s going on? he says

  and he looks at Mother

  Yes, she says

  You don’t look like everything’s all right, Father says

  No, Mother says

  and it’s silent for a moment

  So what’s wrong? Father says

&n
bsp; Look, Mother says

  and she holds out her hand with the three krone coins

  Three kroner, yes, Father says

  Yes, exactly, Mother says

  And I need to drop everything for that? he says

  But, Mother says

  and she breaks off

  But? Father says

  But I found them in his pocket, Mother says

  and she looks at Asle and then Father doesn’t say anything and they just stand there

  Where did you get them? Father says

  and Asle says that he found the coins

  He says he found them outside The Bakery, Mother says

  Yes well that could happen, Father says

  You believe that? Mother says

  and Father doesn’t say anything

  Look in your wallet, see if anything’s missing, Mother says

  and Father takes out his wallet and he looks inside it and he says he can’t remember exactly how many coins he had in there, so there’s no way for him to know if someone took any coins out of his wallet, but why would Asle have done that? he doesn’t steal, does he? Father says and he looks at Asle

  I don’t steal, Asle says

  I’ve never stolen anything, he says

  No, Father says

  and then Father says that he might have found the coins outside The Bakery, but in that case there’s someone who lost them, and maybe they’ve noticed they’re gone, Father says, and maybe they’ll think that they might have lost the money outside The Bakery, after they’d bought their bread, or maybe they’ll think they forgot to get their change at the counter once they’d paid with a five and they were going to get three back, yes, and so maybe they’re going to go back to The Baker or The Baker’s Wife and ask if maybe they forgot their three kroner or dropped them outside The Bakery and The Baker or The Baker’s Wife found them, Father says, and he says that the best thing to do would be for Asle to go to The Baker or The Baker’s Wife and give them the coins, in case anyone lost them and dropped by to ask about it, Father says and Mother says she was sure that Asle had stolen the coins and Father says we can’t know that for sure can we? he says

  I’m glad to hear you say that, Mother says

  It’s a good thing, that you think like that, she says

  and she looks at Asle and she says that if he really found the coins then she owes him an apology, for thinking he must have stolen them, but he might have found them, she hadn’t thought of that, she says

  You might have found the coins, sure, Mother says

  Anyway I owe you an apology, she says

  I shouldn’t have suspected you of stealing, of being a thief, she says

  and Father says they don’t need to say anything more about it and Asle you’ll go to The Bakery and give the krone coins to whoever comes out when you ring the bell, either The Baker or The Baker’s Wife, and you’ll say you found them outside The Bakery and then, if no one’s come to ask The Baker or The Baker’s Wife about some money, well then you can keep them, right? Father says

  And that would mean you sure were lucky, finding three krone coins, he says

  Yes I should think so, Mother says

  I’ll run over there right now, Asle says

  and then he runs down the driveway and up the country road to The Bakery and he walks in the front door and goes to the counter and picks up the bell sitting there and he shakes it and it rings and The Baker comes out and stands behind the counter and Asle says that he found these three krone coins outside The Bakery, and now, now he really is lying, it’s bad and he’s ashamed, Asle thinks and he’s really stammering and The Baker looks at him and he says yes, yes, he says

  Yes, yes, The Baker says

  and he looks at Asle

  If you found some kroner then you found some kroner, you were lucky, Asle, yes, The Baker says

  But maybe someone lost them, maybe they came to buy bread and then lost them? Asle says

  I didn’t give three kroner in change to anyone recently, at least not that I can remember, The Baker says

  So they’re yours Asle, he says

  You found three kroner and now it’s your money, he says

  and Asle looks at The Baker

  That’s what I think, he says

  and even if there’s a smell of drink coming from The Baker and he’s holding onto the counter as he stands there, still he’s right when he says that, Asle thinks

  and The Baker says that he has a custard roll around, one last one from the ones he baked, and since it’ll be time to close up the shop soon, yes, he should have closed up already, Asle should just take the custard roll, since he’s such a nice honest boy, The Baker says and he picks up a custard roll, the only one left, and wraps it in grey paper and hands it to Asle and he thinks that this is really really wrong, he is standing here lying and now he’s getting a custard roll on top of everything, and it’s a good thing he never liked custard rolls with vanilla custard and confectioners’ sugar and coconut on top, it’s a disgusting combination, that disgusting confectioners’ sugar or whatever you call it, and the coconut, that’s what that’s called, but Sister likes custard rolls, so she can have it, she’ll be really happy to get a custard roll, Asle thinks

  Thank you, thank you, he says

  and The Baker hands Asle the custard roll and he stays there for a moment watching The Baker raise a cup of coffee to his mouth and take a sip and he says today was really your lucky day Asle, finding three krone coins, no, not bad, he says

  And then getting a custard roll too, Asle says

  Yes well that’s nothing, The Baker says

  and he goes back through the door behind him, and Asle knows that the door leads to The Baker’s and The Baker’s Wife’s main room, and Asle runs home and he tells them what The Baker said, that he’d found the money so now it was his, and he, The Baker, didn’t remember giving anyone three krone coins in change to anyone recently, and definitely not today, Asle says, and The Baker said that Asle found the coins so they were his, that he’d really been very lucky, The Baker said, Asle says and Mother says well then maybe that’s how it was and Father says yes The Baker’s right about that, now that he thinks about it the coins are his all right, Father says and Mother asks him if he bought a custard roll now that he’s come into all this money, she says, and Asle says The Baker gave him the custard roll, it was the last one left and since he’d been honest enough to try to give back the money and since The Baker was about to close up for the day anyway he should just take the one custard roll that was left, that’s what The Baker said, Asle says and Mother says that was really nice of The Baker, but Asle never liked custard rolls did he, or rolls at all, not cake either, nothing like that, she says

  No he never did, Father says

  No, Mother says

  and Mother laughs and Father says well he doesn’t take after her, she likes custard rolls, if anyone does then she does, he says

  And Sister, Asle says

  Yes custard rolls are really good, Sister says

  and suddenly Asle sees that Sister is standing next to Mother, he hadn’t even noticed her, he thinks

  But I don’t really care too much for them, Father says

  and then Mother says that they should eat that custard roll while it’s fresh, shouldn’t they? she says and Father nods and says he doesn’t feel like a custard roll and Asle says he doesn’t feel like a custard roll either and then Mother goes to the kitchen and she comes back in with two little plates with half a custard roll on each plate and she gives one plate to Sister who’s sitting on the sofa and then Mother sits down next to Sister and then they sit there on the sofa eating the custard roll and Asle stands there and looks at them and he thinks what’s the matter with The Bald Man? why did he touch his leg like that? and he tried to move his hand so far up on his leg, and Asle pushed it away, he thinks and Mother called him a thief, and he isn’t that, but he did lie, he thinks, today he lied to Mother and to Father and to The Baker and then he got
a custard roll from The Baker for being so honest, Asle thinks and he thinks he wants to go outside

  I’m going to go out for a bit, Asle says

  Don’t go away from the house, Mother says

  I thought I could maybe go to Per Olav’s, Asle says

  Yes, you’re building a truck together aren’t you, Father says

  That’s what you told us, he says

  Yes, Asle says

  But don’t be late, Mother says

  and then Asle goes outside and he thinks that it was nasty of The Bald Man to touch his leg, and eventually he pushed his hand away, several times too, or at least two, he thinks, and he can’t tell anyone, because it’s embarrassing, it’s shameful, and if anyone finds out it’ll be even worse so he can’t tell anyone, not any grown-ups anyway, because that would be totally wrong, he thinks, now it’s just a little wrong and also yes also a little exciting in a way, yes, that too, even if he hadn’t liked when The Bald Man touched his leg, Asle thinks and he’s never going to take another car ride with The Bald Man again, that’s for sure, and he’ll never go into his house, that’s for sure too, Asle thinks and he goes out to the road and then he sees a tractor coming towards him from far away and it’s an old tractor and it’s driving slowly and the engine is making an unbelievable noise and Asle keeps walking, and the tractor is far away but coming closer to him, slowly, and now he’s about to cross the country road and then soon he’ll go up the other driveway and the hill to where Per Olav and his family live and he’ll ask if Per Olav is home and then, if Per Olav is home and he feels like it, maybe they can start working on the truck they were building, or something, Asle thinks and he crosses the road and wow that noise from the tractor driving towards him from far away, it’s a horrible screeching noise, Asle thinks and he walks up the driveway to where Per Olav and his family live and he knocks and Per Olav opens the door and Asle says hi and asks him if he wants to do something together and Per Olav says yes yes, sure, he has something he wants to show him, he says in a quiet voice and then Per Olav puts on his shoes and a jacket

  We need to go somewhere where no one can see us, he says

 

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