by Liz Hyder
Tis what Ill do wi this new found rayge. I will use it so help me. Ill use evry last drop o it.
Jack is shore pleased to see me when I turn up. Hes strugglin on his own to both fill the basket and chip chip away at the coal but the two o us gets the work dun in harf the time.
Whyd the Master want to see you then? says Jack.
He wantd me to spyes on you all, I says. For coinage.
Spyes on us? says Jack stoppin what hes doin. Spyes on us for what? Whats anyone got to say bout us?
Theres plenty o time for talkin layter, I says. Arfter mess when we is all back in dorm. Things for all o us to consider.
I can feel Jack lookin at me diffrentlee.
You alryte Newt? he says and I nod.
I am, I says. And I ent no spy neether. We ent always been best o frends Jack, trooth be told, but we is loyal to each uvver and tis what matters in the long run. But I been thinkin a lot see and I thinks we need to get plannin is all. See tis playne to me now, the Master lykes Walsh, he as much as sed so cleer as day, and Walsh dunt lyke us a jot and so—
I leeves it hangin in the air see.
Alryte, says Jack. Alryte. Dorm talk wi all o us Newt. Alryte.
And tis back to work lyke nothin ever happend. Slog sloggin away and all to put coins in the pockit o him up there. The Master wi his spinky clothes and his tall hat.
Direkt lyne to the Mayker is what he sed. But I dunt think he even believes in him.
I works hard that mornin, we counts up we dun nyne fore the whissul goes and I heads to letters.
Thomas hugs me soon as he sees me. He holds me tyte to him. Devlins there too lurkin in the dark. He gives out a sigh o relief when he sees me and runs his hands throo his hair lyke.
What happend? says Thomas and I tells em all. Evry last drop o it. Evry word the Master says, the letter burnin, the uvver parts o Bearmouth I ent ever seen fore, lecktrik lytes, all o it tho Thomas dos kno some parts from his own trip to the Master see.
Devlin shaykes his head when I tells o what the Master says about his Pa. About that bein why Devlins here. He bangs his fist against the wall. Thomas puts a hand on him.
Calm calm, he says. Calm yoreself so we can think rashunally about all o this.
Calm, says Devlin angry lyke. Calm. That man… I swear.
Yore farver is dead tho ent he? I says.
Hes dead cos o Mr Johnson, Devlin says.
Tell Newt the trooth, says Thomas.
Alryte, Devlin says. He thinks for a while fore he starts.
My Pa was settin up a group o men topside to protesst for better workin condishuns for men down Bearmouth and the uvver mines. Sayin tis no better than slayveree down here for men and boys. Bein vokal about it he was, goin to villidge halls and the lyke. Started gettin a head o steme up on it all.
Then one day these men turns up dressd in suits and they taykes him away sayin they was wi the awthoritees and wantd to question him. My Ma goes wild when she finds out, goes arfter em but hes disappeerd into thin air. Ent no awthoritee clayms to have him.
But he myte still be— I says but Devlin interruppts me, shaykin his head.
No, he says. Fishurman found his body down the bottom o the gorge not two weeks layter. Brused and blooded.
And, says Thomas. Promptin him to say more.
And wi marks round his neck, Devlin says, tho the thawt o this dos cleerly woond him as he says it. Marks lyke a liggatchur, he says.
And I thinks back to Tobe. I thinks back to holdin him in my arms that eve by the layke. Those marks around his neck.
Tis what they do to those who dare disagree, Devlin says. Tis how it is. They have all the power in their hands and they will do anythin to keep it that way.
But Tobe wunt doin no body no harm, I says.
But Walsh is frends wi the Master, says Devlin. That much seems cleer from what you say. And the fact Mr Johnson did joke about it too, about my Pa, says a lot for the manner o the man.
What did he meen about you bein here as a fayvour then? I says.
Go on, says Thomas.
Devlin taykes deep breaths forcin hisself to tell me.
It ent a pretty story, he says, not lyke the ones Thomas tells you.
Im old enuff to hear the trooth, I says and Thomas nods.
Arfter what happend wi Pa, we struggled, me and Ma and my younger bruvvers, Devlin says. We startd to go hungree. Ma couldunt find any work, where so ever she asked, she got turnd down again and again. Cleenin, millin, helpin out on odd jobs, nothin. It was lyke the walls o the whole villidge cayme down. So she tryes the next villidge and the next and it was the sayme. Time and time again.
Why? I says.
Cos the villidgers rely on the mines, for work for coinage. They carnt afford to stir up trubble so they keeps quiet.
What happend then? I says. Lyke how you ends up here.
Mr Johnson cayme to Ma wi an offer. Not him o corse, Devlin says. Not the man hisself, one o his lackees. Send me down the mine and Id earn enuff for em to get by. My bruvvers were starvin. Ma didunt want me to come but I left for here the next day. Took me three whole days o walkin to get here but then when I arrived they beat me. Whippd my back til it fayre drippd blood.
I remember, I says, when you first cayme to the layke, I remembers the weals on yore back.
Devlin looks down at the floor. I thawt if I could just get down here, see what it was lyke for myself, I could perswayde uvver men to see what Pa could see. Carry on his good work. Try and do somethin. But the darkness, the lack o air. I thawt I was goin mad at first. Those first days were the hardest I have ever known. But then I rememberd Pa, thawt what he wuld o dun. He wuld not give up so eesily. So I hardend my resolve. I could not fail him. I wuld not fail him. I wuld get out, tell the world what I had seen. What it was trooly lyke down here.
It taykes one person, tis what you sed to me back then. Tis why you tryd to escaype, I says and he nods.
There are guards on evry level, he says. Eyes and ears evrywhere. I am not so used to the dark as you, I carnt use it to my advarntidge. I wasunt hard to catch. And when they did, they beat me. Kept me in a small dark room for I dunt rytely kno how long. Fed me stale bred and beat me. Devlin goes quiet. I fayled him, he says. I failed my Pa.
No, I says. No. Cos yore still here. And we can still do somethin. This ent the end Devlin, I says. Tis only the beginnin, ent that ryte Thomas?
Thomas looks thawtful.
I fear for us, he says. I fear for all o us but this lad here has askd me questions that have fayre chaynged the way I see things. And it wuld be a poor man who didunt want to act on it. Tis why I went to see the Master.
But yet nothin has chaynged, I say. Not yet anyways. I taykes a deep breath. Tis time I told you both somethin, I says.
And I tells em both about Rickerbee, about what me and Tobe saw, and Thomas nods, his fayce seeriuss.
I herd a man had been banishd from anuvver part o the mine, says Thomas. An awkwud man, moved on some time ago. Perhaps twas the sayme man you saw Newt.
Devlin nods. Beaten up lyke they beat me fore they let him go eh, he says. But twas not Walsh that hit me, I swear on it. Twas the guards that did for me. Not Walsh.
I hold out my hand and Devlin puts his on myne, lookin strayte into my eyes and Thomas puts his hand on top. Three hands. Together.
And I thinks to myself too, at the back o my head, I ent ever herd Devlin talk so much before.
At the pumps arfter work, I keeps my head down but Walsh is there and I sees him lookin at me, eyes borin throo me. I ignores him as best I can. Our dorm group sticks tyte together now and we walks as one to mess. Arfter our meet and tatties, the grayte beer barrels are brawt in, rolly rolly for Beer Munday.
Tis time we went but as Thomas, me and Devlin go to stand, Walsh is there, swift as an eel and ryte by us.
Where are you goin then? he says. These two are shore old enuff for beer ent they?
We do not answer to you, says Thomas. Kindly move out o our
way.
Walsh holds eye contact for a moment before steppin aside.
Watch yoreself learned man, he says. Watch yoreself. And them two. The Master has his eye on you, he says, lookin at me. He has his eye on you.
I feels sick arfter we leeve. The thawt o bein watchd, all the men drinkin thereselves to harf wits. I dunt feel lyke letters or talkin so I heads strayte back to dorm but Thomas and Devlin dunt feel tis sayfe leevin me on my own so they dos come back too and sits and talks in the corner. I hides myself under my blankit, wishin the world away. Wishin Bearmouth away. Wishin myself sayfe and tyte some uvver playce entirelee.
Tis the next day that trubble dos come to pass. Arfter letters at brayke, I heads back to Jack and Devlin heads to Skillen in the next sharft havin taykin over Tobes role. Devlin walks me to the top o the rolley road where our paths split and skweezes my hand to say fayrewell. My hand fayre tingalls for some time arfter but then it comes.
Trubble.
Tis on the second basket up that it happens.
When I get to the top I hears it again. The footsteps I herd before that time. Shufflin into the distance. Someone who ent sayin nothin. My hand tytens on the nyfe in my pockit. Still there.
Hello, I says, whisperin. But there ent no answer so I dunt say it again. Praps tis my maginayshun is all.
I clamps the basket on, reddy to unload it, but he must o snuck up craftee lyke under the noyse o the clamps cos all o a sudden theres a hand over my mouth and a whiff o smelly stinky beer breath.
Hello little mouse. Tis Walshs voyce, whisperin in my ear. Little mouse sneekin around and up to no good dunt deserve no chees, he whispers.
I bytes down on his fingers but hes fast and grabs me wi his uvver hand, throwin his fingers in my mouth and down my throte.
I gag and gag but hes twyce my size and got me held tyte as anythin.
Little mouse is trappd, he says and I feel his tung in my ear lick lick lickin. Little mouse taystes so good, he says. Just lyke mouses frend did. O he told me all about his little pet in the end but I thawt twas an awfull good nayme for you an all eh mouse.
I kicks at him usin all my wayte to try and knok him off his feet so I can reetch for my nyfe but he is strong, stronger than me. I want to screem and cry but tis all I can do to breeth wi his fingers rammd down my throte and my arms held tyte behind me.
Dunt wriggall so mouse, he says as he licks my neck. Dunt wriggall so, he says sharply. He pulls me up and I feel cold thinness at my neck. A nyfe Im shore o it.
I go still and quiet.
See mouse, he whispers and the cold thinness goes away. That wunt so hard was it? He taykes his fingers out o my mouth and fore I can screem, he pushs me hard up gainst the rock fayce holdin my arms tyte behind me wi one hand, fayce pushed up gainst the ruff rock and Im gaspin for air.
I feel his uvver hand over me, over my buttocks and edge edgin at my trowsers tryin to pull em off. I tryes to screem but no noyse comes out.
Come on mouse, a mans got to have a bit o fun eh. And such a pretty young thing you are eh, tis what the Master says too. Think he was harf temptd to tayke you for hisself but he dun give you to me insted and for that I do thank him a thousund times.
All the time he is reetchin and pullin and I can feel a hard thing behind me lyke a large candul press pressin into my back.
His hand is slippd down twixt the cloth and my skin and I feel his hand stroke strokin me on the rear.
I wunt byte mouse, he murmers, well I myte eh.
I wriggalls and skwirms and dos my best to get free o him, but he pushs gainst me hard and there ent no room.
How you do wriggall mouse, he says sharp lyke. More than yore little frend did. He just stood stock still and let me do whatever I so pleased to him so he did.
He pulls my trowsers down, rippin the cloth as he dos so and I feels the breeze on my skin and his warm hand hot and hevvy on me.
Yes mouse, he says groanin to hisself.
I feels his fingers slip slide betwixt my cheeks and I kno then for certain that he dos plan to forss hisself on me.
In desperayshun, I gets my left arm free but he pushs gainst me so hard it taykes all my strength to try and skweeze my arm throo to reetch at the nyfe in my ryte pockit.
He reetches down twixt my thyes too.
What are you little mouse? he whispers, they calls you a younuck dunt they eh? Twill be so sweete to tayste and plukk one o them as I ent ever had a younuck afore.
I can feel him twixt my legs and I feel him pause a moment as he finds the edge o the blooded clout bound tyte for the monthlees.
Whats this eh? he says puzzld lyke, and he taykes his wayte off me for just a moment.
Tis all I need. I wriggalls my ryte arm free and pulls the nyfe from my pockit and I jabs backwuds gettin him strayte in the leg as hard and deep as I can and jerks it strayte back out again.
He stumbles back yellin wi payne and I taykes my chance. I turns round, trowsers harfway fallin off and I goes at him again wi the nyfe in the dark. I feels it sink into somethin and a yell o payne and I knos I got him.
I pulls the nyfe back out, steps back in the dark and hides round the uvver side o the basket.
Think Newt think, I says to myself, heart hammerin in my ears. He wunt stop now. He wunt stop til you is dead and gone.
I breethes to myself as quiet as I can but my heartbeat dos sound lyke thunder and I wonder that the whole o Bearmouth carnt hear it echoin down the tunnels.
Where are you mouse? he says angry now but tryin to hide it. Voyce louder than before, no whispers now. Come here little mouse, tis only a joke eh. Ent goin to hurt you proper lyke was I now eh?
I kno this part o the road lyke the backs o my hands and I hears him lookin for me, waytin for me to give myself away but I ent goin to. Tis a fyte to the last and I must needs use my braynes to beat him for I shore ent got the strength to beat him in a strayte fyte.
I hears his footsteps come ryte close to me, the uvver side o the basket and I waytes, countin em as they comes nearer and nearer. Tis the only chance I has to get him.
Tis not til I feels the air from his walkin almost touch my fayce that I stabs him strayte in the leg again and again, jab jab, and I hears him toppall over backwuds.
Mouse has got a bad bite, he shouts. Wayte til the Master hears about this, you little barstard.
I hears him tryin to get back up but he has fallern bad lyke and I taykes my chance again.
Hes fallen over ryte by the far edge o the basket, I herd him fall. I gets up fast as I can and unclamps the basket as fast as I can clamp clamp clamp. Must be a hundred wayte o coal in it and I heeves and heeves and pushs it up and over and onto him. The whole load. Clutter clutter thud thud thud it falls and falls on him pushin him down and down and drownin his voyce out. Suffokaytin him.
Silence.
I listerns and listerns but there ent nothin cept my own breethin in the darkness. Breethin in and out, in and out lyke a simpallton. In and out.
In.
Out.
Tis all I can manidge for now.
I pulls my rippd trowsers back up as best I can and shoves the blooded clout into my pockit along wi the nyfe.
I ent never killd a man before. I ent ever killd nothin before and now here tis.
I ent sorry bout it neether. He murderd Tobe he did and hed o dun me in and all if I hadunt stoppd him.
I goes to stand but my legs ent havin it and I wobballs back down to sittin. I feels wetness on my fayce and I ent shore if tis blood or tears when I wypes it wi my sleeve.
I dunt rytely kno what to do so I sits there for I dunt kno how long til a candul lyte comes dancin down the tunnel and I thinks to myself that all is lost and that I am fayre undun.
Mayker sayve me.
Tis Devlin unloadin his basket on the rolley road.
I hisses to him, more grayteful than any time since that he is still too feard o the dark to work wi out a candul.
He comes over strayte aways tho he carnt yet
clap eyes on me.
Hello, he says. Anyone there? he says. Newt?
My legs still ent workin proper lyke but I cryes out and he holds the lyte up and sees me.
What happend? he says fayce full o horror. Yore fayce tis bleedin.
Walsh, I crokes out. Walsh.
Where is he? says Devlin. Where is he? His fayce tis full o rayge.
I poyntes to the pile o coal skwish skwashin him underneeth.
Is he?…
I nods.
I taykes the nyfe out o my pockit and tis cleer that it dos have blood on it. I shows Devlin and he nods.
He tryes to… He tryes to… I starts to speke and I swallows but I carnt push the words out o my mouth, they stays cawt in the back o my throte.
But Devlin sees. His eyes go over the rippd trowsers and I see in his eyes that he understands.
He did it to Tobe, I whispers.
Devlin taykes a deep breath.
We needs must move him, he says. Fore anyone else sees him. Can you stand? he says and he offers me a hand.
I struggles but I gets up, legs wobblin lyke a newborn fole.
We must be quick, if someone else sees…
He leeves it hangin but I kno that we must hide what I have dun as fast as we can.
Thomas, I says. Thomas.
Devlin dunt understand at first.
The dynamyte, I says. Thomas, hes openin a new sharft and—
Devlin is alreddy movin the coal to one side, quick quick.
When do the next lot come to tayke this away? he says poyntin at the coal.
I ent shore, I says. I just brings it here and I dunt kno.
Think, he says. Twyce a day, three, fore what?
I dunt rytely kno, I says. I think tis collectd three times. Twas cleerd this mornin by letters so.
We must hurry, he says.
I helps as best I can but I am not ryte still so Devlin must work twyce as hard to cleer it. And then there he is. That fayce starin back at me. Walsh. Trickall o blood runnin down from his pale white forehead.