by Liz Hyder
Me farvver always used to say
Pit works more than hewin
You got to cokes the coal along
And not be rivin and chewin
The deputy crawls from flat to flat
The putter rams the chummins
And the man at the fayce must kna his playce
Lyke a muvver knas her young un
Must kna his playce, says Devlin. Tis what Jack thinks eh?
Maybe hes ryte, I says. Maybe tis just how things are is all.
You believe that? he says.
Dunt kno, I says. Dunt kno rytely what I believes no more.
I got to get out o here Newt, he says clutchin at my arm. I carnt stand it down here. Tis lyke workin in the very pits o hell. The darkness crushin yore spirits, feelin hungree all the time and feelin so tired that tis as much as I can do to rowse myself up out o bed. It ent ryte that we are here, he says. It ent ryte. We wunt born to live lyke moles in the dark. We are creetures o daylyte and green, creetures o blue skyes.
Praps yore ryte, I says. But we carnt just walk out o here, costs thirtee for the lift sharft and I ent got anywhere near that much. And then what, back to Ma and livin in one room and I ent able to pay my way? I says.
There must be anuvver way, he says.
Maybe there is, I says, but we got to find it then ent we?
And find it fast, he says lookin at me. Afore I loses my mind.
And afore I turn more wimminly than can be hidden, I thinks but I keeps that thawt firmly to myself.
Tis harder work in this part o the mine, further to get to in the first playce and then harder to bring the coal up to the rolley road. There ent no rails in this part o the mine and tis too unsteddy underfoot for ponys so all has to be dun by hand. Tis fayre the most nackerd I ever been to tell the trooth.
We must needs find anuvver playce for learnin letters too as our old playce is too far aways to get to now.
When I opens the payper to find my crust to eat durin letters I spyes mold on it, green dust lyke, and Thomas says it ent good for a body to eat such things so I maykes do wi nibblin round the edges lyke a mouse.
I keeps thinkin about him comin up at me from behind, I says quietly. Walsh. Wonderin if twill happen again lyke wi anuvver man. Wonderin whats next. But I realised somethin else too. I been livin in fear the whole time anyways. Even thinkin that tis the Maykers way, all them deaths, we taykes it for granted but it ent ryte is it? It ent ryte to live in fear evryday.
I thinks for a moment. That time when you says it only taykes one person to start a revolushun Devlin, it ent troo, I says. It taykes a whole army o people, it taykes numbers. Theres just three o us and if we carnt even get Jack to listern to us we ent got no hope convincin anyone else.
Dunt be despondent, says Thomas. We may not have numbers but we do have uvver things, he says.
How? I says. Where? What uvver things?
Thomas looks down at his hands. We got hands, he says. We got braynes. We got mandrils for diggin coal. And best o all we got this, he says and he smyles as he holds up a stick o dynamyte.
Turns out for all o Thomass learnedness he is also a theevin barstard and I loves him even more for it.
Hes been theevin dynamyte and fuses for some time now, hydin it under Harrisons bed twixt aynchunt mattress and bedsted. Just a stick now and then but tis a number o sticks he dos have now.
Tis a tricky thing dynamyte, says Thomas. You must respekt her.
He tells us how to use it, drillin a hole first usin a hand drill and then very cayrefullee settin the dynamyte in. You sets the charge and then you runs swiftlee to a sayfe playce and then boom. Tis dun.
But it ent that simple o corse. He has told me such things before and I kno tis all sorts o uvver things to consider and all, manner o the rock, where you drill the hole, how long the fuse should be, you got to kno all these things see and that dos tayke xpeerients and me and Devlin we ent got that.
Thomas tells us that we ent to use it or touch it or tell anyone else about it for now. Not even Jack and the uvvers in the dorm. Tis somethin we must keep among ourselves.
Tis strayngely comfortin to kno that we have got force if we need it tho. I feel lyke when Thomas give me the nyfe that I still got in my pockit, sayfer just knowin I has it on me. Cayse o the lykes o Walsh.
At mess we are fayre worn out but we all notisses somethin new. A large blackbord is nayled onto the wall. In white at the top it dos say Your Efforts Have Produced and then underneeth that there is two lynes see, collums Thomas calls em. The left one says Last Week and the ryte one says This Week and then numbers is chalked on, the amount in tons we dug up o coal.
When we is all sittin and eatin Mr Sharp comes in and blows a whissul loud lyke. We stops eatin and looks at him.
Yule notiss the new bord, he says. Tis the Masters orders so as you can see what we is producin at the moment. Cos produktivitee has gone downwud, he says. And that ent no good for anyone as meens yule get payd less and we got less coal to sell see.
He wypes his nose and in trooth I thinks to myself I never did see a man wi more o a runny nose than him.
The Master wants you to see what you is producin, he says. And this weeks got to be better than last weeks and next weeks better than this weeks see.
I looks around at mess and I sees emptee seats. Tobes. Walshs. Ent neether o them been filld. And I looks around further and there is more emptee seats. And it strykes me that there ent been replaycements for those that have gone. So Mr Sharp is askin the impossible see cos tis not ryte that a man can carry on diggin out more and more when there ent enuff hands to do it eh.
Ent none says anythin about the bord, but you can feel folk ent happy bout it. But Mr Sharp knos this so he says those who do best at haulin the coal will earn xtra rashuns as well as coinage and the room dos chaynge instunt lyke.
The best team will win free beer on paydays, he says, as much as they can drink.
And the whole room dos cheer him, bang bangin on taybles and the lyke. Mr Sharp looks round the room ryte pleased at his work and I catch his eye and he just smyle smyles.
I feels lyke standin up and sayin tis just a con, tis just a con but ent none listernin to a young. And I knos twill mayke things harder for us. We ent goin to be gettin more and more coal out o our patch cos tis too long a seam and we is at the bottom end o it. No free beer for any o our dorm.
And I see Nicholsons eyes on me strayte from the uvver side o the bentch and I kno he has clockd the sayme thing and I dunt feel so comftable arfter all. Cos I can sees now that this is how they rid themselves o the awkwudest one see, by forcin em out. By leevin em wi no frends, by maykin their own fellas turn on em.
There ent no talkin to Jack and the uvvers, they all think the only way forwuds is to work as hard as a body can. They think tis the only way they can undo bein awkwud men but I ent so shore about that.
I lies in bed that nyte churn churnin things over in my head and there tis. Suddenlee. An idea. Lyke a lyte itself bryte as lectrick. Tis a risk and I realise too that I carnt do it by myself but tis an idea and a good one at that. But I got to be cayreful, tis an idea that many will find hard to stomarck and I must needs think it throo fore I shares it wi anyone, even Thomas and Devlin.
I have nyte trubbles again wi Walsh reetchin for me out o the darkness and hands wandrin over me. I wayke in a sweat panic panickin wi my heart raycin away. Tis a while afore I dare goes back to sleep again but come the mornin I am resolvd.
I undun Walsh wi cleverness and so tis that I must use it elsewhere and all.
As things normally stand, we heads to the pumps strayte arfter shifts but since startin the monthlees, I tryes to head back to the dorm first to check that it ent come back. Thomas did say it can be unprediktaball sometimes so tis best I am caushuss.
When I turns up, the panel is harf pushed over the entry so I peeks my head round to see Nicholson rummidgin throo the uvvers beds. I think o Thomass dynamyte hidden under Harrisons bed and sos I
pushs the panel open and steps strayte in, hand on my nyfe.
What you doin Nicholson? I says, voyce steddy as I can hold it.
He looks at me, cawt in the act and dunt kno where ryte to look.
What you doin? I says again.
Could ask sayme o you, he says.
I left somethin here. What you left here eh? I says.
Nicholson ent shore how much I seen, so tis cleer hes tryin to think o somethin to say.
Left somethin underneeth Devlins bed eh? I says. I taykes out my nyfe and holds it in front o me. Dunt think I wunt use it, I says. Altho trooth be told I ent got the stomarck for anuvver fyte, I thinks to myself.
Nicholsons fayce dos crumble lyke poor qualitee coal.
I ent meenin no harm, he says. I ent meenin no harm. He puts his hands up lyke surrendrin in a fyte.
Spyin on us eh? I says jab jabbin the nyfe towards him.
He sits down on Tobes emptee bunk and puts his head in his hands.
I dunt meen to Newt, he says. But tis hard to mayke ends meet and they offerd me ten more coins a week to do it.
Who did? I says, but I alreddy knos the answer.
Mr Sharp, he says snifflin away. I dunt meen to Newt, I kno tis wrong, I kno it see but I carnt be an awkwud man eh, I dunt do nothin wrong.
How long you been spyin on us? I ask.
Since arfter Walsh went, he says.
You dunt told em bout that then at leest.
I ent a bad man Newt I ent, he says. Not lyke Walsh, he was a wrong un and you did ryte to finish him off. I mayde a promiss not to tell bout that so I dunt.
Praps, I says. Nyfe still in hand. Poyntin towards him. Or maybe you thawt it implikaytd you and all. Dob the whole dorm in and you the only one left eh? None in the whole o Bearmouth wuld work wi you arfter that. Untrustworthee youd be deemd eh?
That ent it, he says. I swear Newt, I ent a bad man. I dunt brayke my promisses. Not ever.
Why dunt you proov you ent a bad man eh? I says, holdin the nyfe out.
How? he says.
Mayke stuff up and feed that back to Mr Sharp, I says.
Lyin, he says, that what you meen?
Corse, I says. You still get that xtra coinage and the rest o the dorm dunt need to kno.
But what can I say? he says. Mayker sayve us lyin tis a sin.
Lyin can be the trooth, I says. Just a diffrent vershun o it. Lyke Jack wants to go back ryte, all o us do, we ent awkwud men are we, none o us? So tell em there plan has workd, I says. One more week o bein awkwud men and that should skwish skwash any thawts o bad things there ever was. And you collect a week and a harfs xtra coinage and no I dunt want none, I says, keeps it all to yourself you can.
And you wunt tell the uvvers? he says.
No, I says. I promiss. But I want you to promiss somethin to me and all. Seein as youre a fella that dos never brayke a promiss.
Anythin, he says.
If you ever spyes on us properlee, if you ever lies to us, your only frends down here, I will tell all the uvvers and then I ent goin to be the only one comin for you then see, I says.
No, he says.
So no spyin on us ever again. Promiss and shayke on it, I says and I spits and holds out my hand.
Will you put the nyfe away? he says.
No, I says. Not til you shayke.
He comes forwuds, wary lyke and then offers his hand spittin on it first.
Go on, I says.
And he shaykes. I promiss, he says.
See you at mess, I says, lettin his hand drop and he nods.
As he sneeks out past the panel he turns to me.
Youve chaynged Newt, he says. Youve chaynged ent you?
I grew up tis what, I says to him. I ent no baby no more tis all.
He nods his head at me and then leeves.
I sit down on my bed heart thumpin away and I lets out a deep breath.
That ent a bad job Newt, I says to myself in my head lyke. That ent a bad job at all.
Cos if Mr Sharp and the Master run this playce by cleverness and mannipewlayshun stands to reeson that a body wi a bit o brayne can do the sayme.
When Im reddy, I check under Harrisons bed to see if Thomass dynamyte is still there and it is, hidden in the old springs but tis there. I counts em, three sticks in total. I dunt believe Nicholson wuld think to look there but I moves it all just in cayse. Wi my nyfe I cuts a hole in Tobes old mattress and pushs em in nyce and tyte.
None will find em there, I thinks to myself. A small victoree Newt, I thinks and I smyles to myself, but a victoree neverless.
I ent imaginin it arfter all but tis cleer that we are gettin less food at mess. The meet and tatties we get is smaller porshuns alryte. I looks at Nicholson and he looks strayte back at me.
Well it ent goin to be forever now is it? I says tryin to be cheerful. We is all workin hard as we can so carnt be long fore Mr Sharp brings us back to the fold, I says.
Corse, says Nicholson eyin me. It carnt be long eh.
Jack and Skillen nod but Devlin looks at me straynge lyke.
What you up to Newt? he whispers to me as we head back to dorm.
Nothin in partickular, I says. Nothin.
Thomas, do you believe in the Mayker? I says to him next day at letters.
What? he says lyke he ent believin his own ears for a moment.
Do you believe in the Mayker? I says.
Corse, he says. Dunt we all believe in the Mayker?
Yes, I says. But do you really believe in him?
Thomas sits there in silence for a moment.
I dunt believe in him, says Devlin arfter a while.
Thomas shaykes his head, disapproovin lyke.
Why? I says.
Cos Pa tort me that not evryone believes the sayme thing, Devlin says. There are uvver gods, uvver beliefs all over. Imagine that.
Uvver gods? I says and Devlin nods.
Uvver gods. Lyke uvver storyes that Thomas and you mayke up.
Ah, says Thomas. But not all storyes are real.
But you do believe in him, the Mayker, Thomas? I says and he nods.
Tis all I kno, he says. The Mayker is wi us wherere we are.
Do you really think that? I says.
I hope it is so, he says. Ent that all we can do?
It ent a full answer from him but tis enuff for me to kno that my plan carnt inclood him. Needs must be me and Devlin.
Arfter letters we walks back down the rolley road together candul lit as Devlin still ent no good in the dark. Tis a trooly emptee part o the mine that we are in as awkwud men and so tis the perfect playce to ask him. I grabs his arm.
What? he says as he turns to fayce me and I put my finger on his lips for a moment.
The Mayker, I whispers. Tis sed he will give us a sine ryte, in the Maykers Prayer. Tis a sine that he gives and then we wil rise up from undergrawnd. Tis the words o the prayer.
So, says Devlin. So what?
Well if the Mayker ent real, there ent never goin to be no sine ryte? I says.
Alryte, says Devlin.
So if there ent ever goin to be no sine, maybe tis best we mayke one o our own eh, I says.
His eyes wyden as the idea sinks into his brayne.
You meen?
Yes, I says. And I thawt o the very thing. But I need to kno if you can be trustd.
He nods and looks hurt. Corse I can Newt, he says. Carnt believe you askd.
I smyles at him.
Needed to hear you say it is all, I says. You carnt tell no one else about it neether, I says. Not even Thomas.
And he nods.
Promiss? I says and he nods again. Got to say it, I says. Out loud.
So he dos. I promiss, he says. He holds out his hand and we shaykes on it.
Alryte, he says. Come on then brayve little Newt. What is this plan o yours then? he says.
And I taps my nose and winks at him.
All in good time, I says, all in good time.
On the way back to Jack I see a
teeny patch o some green gold lichen. Trooth be told I ent shore how it can survive down here but I touch it for good luck. I feels the softness under my fingers and more than anythin it feels lyke hope.
At mess, we eat our meet and tatties as slow as we can. Eke ekin out our meeslee porshuns.
We are all too tired to talk much and I realise that tis anuvver advantidge o callin a man awkwud, he is too tired to plot or plan arfter shifts. I says so, and I sees Nicholson nod at me.
Maykers Day tomorro, says Thomas. We must pray that we are not awkwud men for long now.
Amen to that, says Jack. Amen.
And I say nothin.
The next day, as we go up and up to the Maykers Hall, it ent the levels Im a countin on my fingers. Tis the number o guards we goes past insted.
As we chants the Maykers Prayer, my maw dos open and shut lyke a trapdoor but the words dunt meen nothin to me.
I askd the Mayker for a sine but none was forthcomin.
I askd him to show hisself to me. I askd for him to listern.
I askd him how he could let Walsh do that to Tobe.
I askd him why we wayte for a better life in the next life when shorely we should be livin now too.
I askd him so much and I ent herd nothin.
I wayte for a punnishment, for the Mayker to curse me for havin killd a man but there ent nothin.
I skwints and looks up at the Maykers fayce, but all I see is rock.
Mayker forgive me, I says to myself in my head.
And I think heethenish thawts so I do.
Mayker help me, I says.
But the words, they is just letters, lyke sayin the alphabet all throo. Just words words words.
The next day, Thomas fayre grabs me when I arrive at letters and shaykes me by the sholders. Devlin puts an arm on him to stop.
What what? I says and Thomas lets me go.
Who did you tell about the dynamyte eh? he whispers, fury buildin in him. Did you say anythin? he says to Devlin.
I moved it, I says, from Harrisons bed to Tobes. Ent none goin to look for it there eh.