Make Me Burn

by Marie Harte

  Her heart quickened.

  “You’re in New York, right?”

  Erik nodded.

  “I just don’t see her there. I mean, she could go, sure. But didn’t she break up with you back then because you wanted to leave and she didn’t?”

  Erik tensed. “That’s true. But we’re different people now.”

  “I get that. But she’s chosen to be with me, and you need to respect that.” Brad sighed. “I’m not going to go all caveman and beat the shit out of you to prove I can.” He looked Erik over, and Erik tensed even more. The poor guy. Brad would wipe the floor with him if he tried. “Avery is special, to me and everyone she knows. To you too, or you wouldn’t be trying to get me to back off.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Please. In your shoes, I’d do the same. She’s one of a kind, and anyone would be lucky to have her. It’s too bad her dad’s such a dumbass he can’t see how great she really is.”

  Avery’s eyes watered. Brad really did get her. That big, badass fireman with the heart of tarnished gold. She wanted to march out there and tell Erik to get lost. But she held back, letting Brad and Erik have their moment.

  Erik gave a short laugh. “Lennox King is nothing short of brilliant. Calling him a dumbass is like—”

  “Trying to turn Avery into something she’s not,” Brad agreed. “And she’s not yours, Erik. She’s not mine either. She’s a woman who can make up her own mind. So, give her your speech if you want. It’s wasted on me. I know exactly what I want.” He turned to leave the living room, and June hurried from behind Avery, having no doubt heard everything.

  “There you two are. I’m sorry. Salty had to go out. But I’m done. Now let me wash up and we’ll have pie.”

  Avery backed away and met them using another route to the kitchen, where everyone gathered. She and her father pretended nothing had happened between them. Brad and Erik did the same.

  Avery wanted to laugh hysterically at the awkward silences punctuated by her too-chatty mother, everyone’s stilted replies, and Salty’s whines.

  “You know, Mom. That was awesome. But we need to go,” Avery said as soon as Brad finished his dessert.

  “Amazing food, June.” He smiled, and her mother looked giddy at the compliment.

  “Don’t swoon, Mom,” Avery said drily. “He’s not the Viral Viking.”

  Brad gave her a sidelong glance. “But I know the guy. You want to meet him?”

  June nodded, and Avery huffed. “Don’t create a monster, Brad. My mom wants to paint him.”

  “I really do. He’s got amazing bones.”

  Brad gave Avery a wicked grin. “I can’t wait to tell him you said that.”

  Having met the man, Avery didn’t think he’d appreciate the compliment, though Rena might.

  Avery nodded to her father. “Bye, Dad.” She turned to Erik. “Erik, it was wonderful to see you. Thanks for coming to dinner. Have a great flight back.” She grabbed Brad by the hand. “I’m so glad you got to meet Brad. He’s special to me.”

  Erik took the not-so-subtle hint. “It was great to see you too, Avery. You have my number. Feel free to call whenever. If you just want to chat or feel like moving to New York…” he teased.

  “Never. Seattle’s my home.” She gave her mom a hug. “Thanks for a terrific dinner. We need to go. Brad’s on duty soon.”

  He didn’t look at her, but she could sense his confusion.

  Out in his car, he turned and said, “I’m off until Thursday, you know.”

  “I know.” She let out a breath. “But if I had to spend one more minute near the great Lennox King, I might have killed the man. And we had too many witnesses for that.”

  He grinned, so beautiful, her boyfriend. Her lover. Damn it. Her heart.

  “You know how they say to keep a secret a secret?”

  “How?” she asked as he drove them back to his place.

  “Be the only one who knows about it. Meaning you’d have had to kill everyone in the place. And I liked your mom. Erik and your dad, meh. Me? I’m tough to kill.”

  “Let’s hope so.”

  “Seriously. I can withstand my brother’s foul breath, Mack’s dirty socks, and Reggie’s manly sweat after a basketball game. Dude is rank.”

  She laughed. “I really do like your friends.” She swallowed. “Better than Erik for sure.”

  He looked her way before focusing back on the road. “He wants you back.”

  “He can’t have me. I’m taken.”

  She saw Brad’s lips curl, and he reached for her hand to kiss the back of it before placing their joined hands on his leg. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Klingon is it for me. I swear.”

  “Smartass.”

  She leaned over to kiss him. “Brad, I…” Too soon to say it. Don’t ruin the moment, dummy.

  “What?”

  “I heard what you said to Erik. It meant the world to me.”

  He blew out a breath. “Oh. I didn’t mean for you to hear it. I wasn’t trying to out-dick him or anything.”

  “You…wait, what?”

  “You know, prove my dick is bigger by threatening the guy. It’s pretty obvious I could crush him without much effort.”

  Her manly boyfriend sounded so dang happy about that fact. She squeezed his hand. “We all know that.”

  “Right.” He nodded. “But he needed to know talking to me was a waste of time. You’re either with me or you’re not. It’s your choice, not mine.”

  “Not yours?”

  “Hell, Avery. I’m with you right now. I like being with you.”

  I love you so much right now. Marry me. Have babies with me. Let our many dogs—no cats—hump your legs instead of mine. She took deep breaths to steady herself.

  “You okay? Your glasses are steaming up.”

  “With annoyance. Sorry. Just remembering what my father had to tell me.” She gave him a brief rundown, loving him even more when he sided with her.

  “He doesn’t know you very well, does he?”

  “He doesn’t want to know me, and he never will.” She paused, and they both said, “His loss.”

  She smiled at him. “You are getting very lucky tonight.”

  Silence filled the car, and she looked at him with concern. “You okay?”

  “No. I’m in pain. My dick is so hard right now I’m afraid I might come without you. With you is better, for sure.”

  “You sweet talker.”

  “I can’t help it. You steamed up your glasses, and a few fantasies came to mind.”

  “Like what?” She asked him questions, like any good investigative journalist worth her salt would. When he told her, she swallowed hard. “Drive faster so we can put your hypotheses into proof.”

  Brad smiled. “Sure thing, Lois. Just promise you’ll wear the glasses.”

  “Call me Lois again and I’ll kick your ass.”

  “With the glasses on.”

  She sighed. “With the glasses on, yes. You big weirdo.” But she couldn’t help grinning as they pulled into his apartment parking lot.

  “Hot damn. And as a firefighter, I don’t use those words lightly.”

  * * *

  The next three of his four days off, Brad spent time with the guys and Avery. He and Avery had sex every night as his place. And Oscar and Gerty seemed eternally grateful that he gave them space, keeping Avery overnight.

  He still worked out with the guys, still played games or included Avery in some, but not all, of his activities. He took their new togetherness with a sense of caution, as did she, asking before committing to spending time together. He didn’t want to overwhelm her with too much of the guys—Tex especially. And she didn’t want to intrude on his friendship.

  They seemed to mesh really well.

  Especially in the sa
ck.

  He groaned as she bobbed over him, having surprised him with a quick welcome-home blow job in the bedroom after he’d come in to change Wednesday night. With the guys waiting for him in the living room, having to keep quiet about killed him.

  She rose after he almost died from a combination of ecstasy and heart failure and licked her lips. “Mmm. I was hungry.” She winked and left the bedroom while he hurried to splash water on his face and pretend he hadn’t just seen heaven for a few short minutes.

  Man, he fucking loved her.

  Bam. There it was again. That blasted L-word in conjunction with Avery. Their dinner at her parents’ Sunday night had bonded them in an unexpected way. He’d seen what she’d been dealing with her whole life, and while he empathized, he didn’t offer pity she didn’t want. But he gave her compassion and a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it—which she’d used the other night after watching Up, a freaking cartoon.

  Who knew an animated clip of two old people falling in love could be so damn heartbreaking?

  He refused to admit he’d been crying a little too.

  She made him laugh. She made him mad. And that anger turned to passion way fast. She’d insulted his love of all things Marine Corps by saying the Navy must be superior, and in front of Reggie no less. “After all, the Marines are in the Department of the Nav-eee.” Her singsong answer had gotten under his skin. Their relationship had been touch-and-go. The USMC was sacrosanct to Brad’s way of thinking.

  Then, after their dirty, angry sex, she’d admitted she’d been teasing. That the Marines rocked and everyone else was second best.

  Still, he was holding her to that apology until she admitted, in front of everyone, what she’d told him.

  He exited the bedroom and found the guys lounging while Avery was nowhere in sight. “Where’d she go?”

  “She looked way too smug, hoss.” Tex swung a bottle of cola around. “Said she stopped by to say hi then left. She’ll swing by tomorrow if she can though. At the station.”

  Reggie gave an ugly smile. “Where Hernandez and the others will be waiting.”

  Brad narrowed his eyes at the three troublemakers. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed a lack of Ken making it with every swinging dick action figure in town. You guys have been waiting for her to come by, haven’t you? Some big elaborate scene meant to freak her out.”

  “Now, Bradford.” Tex sighed. “We love you, man. And we really like Avery. Why the hell would we do that?”

  “I see you, Mack,” Brad said without looking at his partner for tomorrow.

  Mack shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  He and Reggie had air high-fived.

  They spent the next hour bitching about B shift, the LT’s hard-on for cleanliness lately, and the fact everyone kept wanting to get a dog they couldn’t realistically care for without help.

  Mack smiled. “But you could, Brad. I bet your girlfriend would watch him for you. Because she lurves your muscles so much.”

  Tex snickered, and Reggie tried to hide a smile.

  “I’m done with all of you. Get out. I’ll see you in the morning, bright and early.”

  “You know it.” Reggie and Mack left.

  Tex hung back. “Hey, man. Did Bree call you about the calendar? She won’t tell me shit.”

  Brad felt for him. Bree was in no way talking to him again. She’d taken his picture for the calendar and disappeared from Tex’s life. “She talked to Avery. Actually, Avery did an interview with her about Pets Fur Life. The calendar will be out next week, and she’s already sold a mess of preordered copies and wants to print more.”

  “Oh, hey, that’s great.” Tex blew out a frustrated breath. “She ignores me, won’t return my calls, and is driving me insane.”

  “Avery told me she put in a good word about you, about how responsible and helpful you are. But it didn’t work, huh?”

  “Nope.”

  “Tex, maybe you should move on.”

  “I was trying to. I might have if we hadn’t had that calendar to do. Now I’m hooked on the witch all over again.” He groaned. “Son, I am dyin’ over here while you’re getting your freak on.”

  “Not sure what you’re talking about.”

  Tex snorted. “Please. You two were awful damn quiet. Then she leaves looking right smug, and you staggered back into the living room with that shit-eating grin.”

  Brad flushed. “Oh, shut up.”

  “I’m leaving. Just thought I’d share how jealous I am.”

  “That does make me feel better.”

  Tex shot him the finger.

  Brad laughed and waved him goodbye.

  And dreamed about Avery and a future he wanted but didn’t know if he deserved.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Brad had had better days. Avery hadn’t been able to get free and visit. He and Mack had been balls-to-the-wall busy all day long, including one major accident near the station that had paramedics and ambulances swarming. Teenagers hopped up on drugs driving in a convoy to a party in Beacon Hill.

  The paramedics took on the worst cases. Ambulances had been called, and while they waited, Brad and Mack worked on a teenager named Chris, the boy just turned sixteen and driving when he shouldn’t have been, hopped up on something.

  The boy seized before going unconscious, so they shoved his ass on the gurney and rushed him toward the nearest emergency room.

  He’d done his best, but the boy had been unresponsive during the better part of the trip, waking at the end only to turn to Brad with tears in his eyes, weakly calling out for his mom.

  “I’m so…sorry.” Chris sobbed, his breathing uneven, his pulse weak and growing weaker.

  “You’ll be okay, Chris. You stay with me.”

  “Just tried it. The one time. My…birthday.”

  “I know. You’ll get through this.”

  “Tell…M-Mom. Love her. Didn’t mean to…” He passed out again. And this time nothing Brad did woke him up.

  “Shit. Hurry, Mack,” he yelled.

  “On it.”

  Brad provided CPR nonstop, with nothing else to do but pray.

  The ER doctor met them as they pulled up, but it was too late. He hadn’t saved the boy. Just like Brad hadn’t saved that man last year, the small family from a house fire two years ago, Dana…

  Brad focused on breathing, on the here and now, staying in the moment so as not to spiral. This was the job. He knew it. Sometimes they lost people, but more times than not they helped those in need. He would concentrate on that.

  They returned to the station, not talking, both he and Mack used to tough cases, but the ones with sad endings like this broke their hearts. They had just cleaned out and resupplied their vehicle when they had another call come in.

  “It’s gotta be a full moon,” Mack muttered.

  Brad shut off his feelings and forced a smile. “Tell me about it.”

  By the time their shift ended, everyone had been put through the wringer. He’d gone an hour over and missed Avery’s Friday morning segment. He called her to apologize and had to leave a message on her cell.

  He drove home, trying to shake off his despair. Fuck, but that kid had been just sixteen. A stupid experiment with drugs had ended a promising life. The boy had wanted his mother to know he loved her. What kind of life had he been living? Had they gotten along and he’d made a mistake? Or had he taken drugs to escape his life and then regretted it? Like Dana had tried to escape.

  Dana… He felt so damn sad.

  Brad would contact the police department later, find out who’d contacted the mother, and share the boy’s last words, hoping it brought the mother peace.

  Someone should know the truth, he thought, memories of Dana refusing to leave. Why had she not reached out to him? He could have helped. Or had
he been so blinded to her life and what she needed, lost in his own selfish pleasures? He’d been out drinking with friends for the first time in a long time when she’d passed. And that hurt the most. He hadn’t helped. He’d done nothing.

  Just like with the boy, Chris.

  He felt useless, worthless, and didn’t want to talk to anyone.

  After a shower, he slept for hours.

  Revitalized and needing to reconnect, he decided to head to his mom’s, in no mood to talk to Avery. He wasn’t right, and he didn’t want her to see him this way. He thought he might love her, the way he’d loved Dana. A true, deep, lasting love, and a little something more. And that scared the hell out of him, especially today.

  On the way to Tacoma, Avery called. “Brad? I’m sorry I missed your call. Today was busy. I heard you guys were slammed.”

  “You did?” He hadn’t planned on picking up, but some perverse part of him wanted her voice to hurt. He needed to know he would never have that kind of happiness with someone else because he couldn’t do enough to save those who really mattered.

  Except Avery’s voice eased him, and that made it all worse.

  “Yeah. I called the station and they told me you guys had been working all day yesterday and into this morning. You must be exhausted.”

  “I am.” He didn’t want to share what work had been like, so he said, “It was a tough shift.”

  She must have heard something because her voice softened. “Are you okay?”

  “I’ll get through it.”

  “Can I help? Want me to come over? Or do you want space? Tell me what I can do.”

  Just knowing she cared helped more than he’d thought it would. More than he deserved it to. “I’m going to check in with my mom. Maybe we can get together tomorrow?”

  “Whatever you want. Just let me know.” She sounded quiet.

  “Yeah. Okay.” He sighed. “Sometimes life sucks, you know?”

  “I know.”

  “I’d better go.”